|>>|| No. 29095
Here’s what happened. We went to a restaurant. It's cash-only. She put £10 down. I go and get £20 from an ATM, return to the restaurant, put £20 down, and take her £10. She wanted to try my jacket earlier, and we're still wearing one another's jackets. I put £10 in her jacket pocket, and wear it back to mine. Next morning, my flatmate asks for cash to pay a cleaner, and I can’t find the tenner. Later that day we go to a bar. It’s cash only. She says she’ll pay, gets £10 from her purse, then looks sheepish, then looks at me and says, “Oh, I think I made a mistake. I think I took your money”.
I ask her why. She said she got confused. It surprises her that it’s a big deal for me. We go and sit down. I say “I don’t trust you”. She said she was confused. She’s upset, and cries. After a while, she says she doesn’t think we can be together because she doesn’t want to be with somebody who doesn’t trust her, who thinks she’s a thief. We talk, it calms, and we make up.
Except every time I replay the episode, it hurts. I’m quite free with my money with my friends, and the cynic in me thinks she thought I wouldn’t miss it. Then she realised that I would notice, so she tried to pass it off as a mistake. She said she was confused when she put the money in her wallet. But when she got it out again, she came to a realisation that she'd mistakenly taken my money (the minutiae: her £10 in the restaurant was her last cash; she said she realised her mistake when she went to pay at the bar because she'd used her last cash in the restaurant; the smaller minutiae, she knew I knew she'd used all her cash).
Very sorry for the finickityness of the situation. It hurts me because I like her, and because it's so stupid. We've spent a lot of money doing things together over the past 6 months. I wonder whether I should press her for an explanation that she probably can't provide. I think a positive course of action would be to not raise it again, start looking elsewhere, and in the time it takes to get anything else going, see if I'm able to trust her again.