>>29205
Fucked.

Ask a lesbian.

>>29205
It surely depends on your relative skill at both.

I can tell you one thing: they don't appreciate cold air being blown up their fannies.

t. a cunning linguist.

Watching The Sopranos taught me that licking minge is for mezza fanooks.

*translator's note: mezza fanook means half a poofter in Italian-Americanese

Does it matter? You can just ask the woman you're with to tell you what she likes. She might prefer cunnilingus, she might prefer a good hard shag, she might only be capable of orgasm if she's humping an inflatable shark while wearing a swimming cap. Everyone's unique, everyone has kinks and hang-ups and latent shame, so the only way you can achieve any meaningful level of sexual compatibility is through open and attentive communication.

>>29211
Everyone's unique, everyone has kinks and hang-ups and latent shame, so the only way you can achieve any meaningful level of sexual compatibility is through open and attentive communication to take a load of ecstasy together and confess your darkest innermost desires to each other while fucking like rabbits.

>>29205
All joking aside, while you can be as open and honest as you want but if the other party isn't then you're not going to get very far. Very few birds are likely to admit to the lad they like that they want to be tied up and called a slag any more than you're likely to let on that really you'd like to piss up her arse.

Basically try lots of things and pay attention to what the lass does and doesn't like. Probably don't call her a slag or try to piss up her arse though, unless you're really sure she is into that.

In my experience most of them aren't that fussed about oral. It's one of those things blokes like to think they love, but isn't really the case in reality.

The thing is birds aren't infatuated especially with any of the actual physical, mechanical acts that take place during sex. What they like is the way a bloke makes them feel. The same buzz a bloke gets when she goes "oh yeah you've got a massive cock mmmmm!", that's basically the entire deal with sex for birds.

Different birds have different preferences obviously, but if we're going for a broad generalisation about the "average woman", this has been my experience.

What's a woman?

>>29213
I feel like I'm going to get made fun of for my phrasing but being "performatively lustful" seems to get them going. If you don't know what that means I don't know if I can really explain it any better.

>>29215

What they want most is passion?

>>29216

Performative lust.

>>29216
Yes, but as t'other lady's too busy doing exactly what I predicted, the point is you have to act out the passion, not just feel it. Maybe that's obvious if you just say they want passion but I'd been awake all night and my vocab was failing me.

I'd say it is roughly 50/50 between primarily clitoral stimulation or a good deep fucking. This is something you can usually work out based on personality and confirmed by having actually had conversations on this with lesbians.

With that said, the obvious answer is both.

Would you rather have a blowjob or fuck a fanny? The answer is probably "it depends how I'm feeling" and the same applies to women.

>>29215

Is spot on, though. I remember very clearly the first time I really made my first girlfriend go "holy shit" and it was when I sort of just decided in the moment to go 'fuck it' and really go at her like some sort of crazed animal, and she fucking loved it. I wasn't feeling particularly any more horny than usual (I was a teenager so it was at a fairly constant level) but I was really projecting it, and she responded very favourably.

>>29222

The first bit of sexy time I had with a girl (when I was 11) I was instinctively rough with her and she loved it. It was so primal, she went all floppy and submitted to me.

>>29224
>she went all floppy

Women aren't meant to have erections.

>>29225

Transphobe

>>29222
The 2 vaginas i've fucked haven't been that great and I don't seem to be very good a recieving blowjobs.
There were things that could have been done to improve the situation but it seemed rude to suggest them.

>>29227

IMO that's the hard part about casual sex. Unless you get lucky and meet someone very communicative.

Another problem is that it still feels good, but you know it could feel better. But it still feels good so why bother changing?


When you manage to deceive someone into staying with you for a prolonged period of time, it's a good idea to have a chat about bedroom communication. My girlfriend and I were responding to the same person on reddit who could literally not believe that we were able to say "I don't think I'm gonna cum tonight" instead of faking an orgasm and being done.

>>29228

This is true. I was tempted to say it to the first lad as well, but then again, I'd hope most people have the good sense to realise "ability to communicate honestly" is very definitely one of the traits you should look for in a partner.

It's amazing the difference it makes though. I've gone from a slow, draining minor hell of a relationship with a girl who was... You know, fine, but she'd take it personally and have a sulk if I wasn't in the mood to fuck her; to being with a lass who I can bluntly and openly tell "Nah, sorry love, I'd prefer to tug one out to some gay furry porn tonight." and she will be fine with it.

>>29229

Good for you lad. Sadly sometimes you can click with someone on almost everything apart from one thing, guess it depends how important that thing is. Personally I value sex a lot, if there's no bedroom game then it seems pointless.

Once you've been pegged by a woman making you call her mommy and telling you how much she wants to get knotted, you can't really go back.

The only communication issue I've had recently is when she goes to stick a finger in and I have to subtly tell her I've just had a shit without saying I've just had a shit or indicating that I ever shit. But I guess I'm just going to have to start soaping up if I know she's coming over.

>>29230
Where do you find these people?
Asking for a friend

>>29232

Doncaster.

>>29230
Look, I get it. I get the anus is sensitive, and I get that the rectum can be tighter than a fanny, and I get that stimulating the prostate is pleasurable (apparently). But it's still the HOLE WHERE SHIT COMES OUT. How do people get past that? Or god forbid actually have coprophilia.

>>29232

Fetlife, 12-step groups, psychiatric outpatient services.

>>29235

Just wash your bum m8. Have you seen/smelled/tasted some of the disgusting effluent that comes out of fannies?

>>29235

Oh mate. Get the soap out, get in the shower, go to fucking town with your fingers. Enema with soapy water for good measure beforehand, but then yeah just clean that fucker out several times over. It's not like shit is secreted from the pores of your sphincter.

Then when she sits on your face it's like you can lick anything, it's fantastic. Wouldn't do ass to mouth, but just the outside and an inch or so inside? Yeah, sign me up.

And look for fetish communities or get lucky. Somehow every girl I've dated has been bloody kinky, possibly because I'm fucking weird and anyone willing to sign up has underlying issues. So yeah, try being a bizarre cunt too.

Be warned, don't expect hookups unless you're super fucking fit and charming, and even then the girls on there who want to hook up are usually pretty uninspiring. Think of it as a new group of friends who you may well end up getting intimate with.

>>29235

Most vaginal discharge is pretty fucking minging when you think about it, but I doubt that stops you. And you can't enema all the mucus out of a fanny.