Nah, I reckon most of them would be too old and ugly and diseased, or otherwise mangled from whatever accident they were in, or what have you. I don't imagine you get very many attractive corpses.

One of the lads where I work used to work as an undertaker, and everyone thinks he's a right weirdo. I mean he is a right wierdo, honestly, but they're all being a bit harsh in my opinion. I've heard some of the younger lads and lasses make jokes along the lines that the morgue was probably the last time he had sex.

The thing is even if he is a weirdo I respect him, in a way, because working with dead bodies has to fuck with you. we don't have to deal with death any more in polite modern society, we delegate it out to weirdos like him. those weirdos are doing us all a favour.

I would do everything in my power to get out of working in a morgue. No way. Not a chance. But if I was the sort of person who would willingly handle dead bodies all day, then it's not a massive leap to assume I would finger one at least once. If I was willing to touch corpses, I'd probably at least look at a couple of dead fannies. It's the death that puts me off doing that, and if I was somehow over that, then the final step is a very small step indeed. But no, I would not go near a room full of dead bodies if you paid me.

I'd be much too busy with all the goth fanny.

>>69923
I think it works like how doctors don't get anything out of doctoring because they have a professional head-space they go into. Well, unless you're a mentalist I guess.

>>69921
>>69923
Sounds like you're afeared of of death. If the culture you're in normalises death then it takes away the taboo, and you won't get necro carpet-baggers in the business.

I don't think I would, there's a reason that 'like fucking a corpse' is a negative expression. Maybe if I'd never had sex and was pushing on a few decades.

>>69924
I think goths prefer taxidermists to morticians. If you want that goth fanny you need to give them a stuffed fox rather than anything you can pinch off a human corpse.

The lot of you are grim.

>>69927
In case you missed the news this week, David Fuller has admitted to the murder of two women in the 80s and also filming himself fucking at least 80 corpses while he worked for the NHS, but police suspect he's actually fucked hundreds more dead bodies.

>>69928
So?

>>69929
A needle pulling thread.

>>69928
What's wrong with discussing current events and asking hard hitting questions that get right to the meat of the issue?

>>69925

I'm more to the side of morbidly fascinated than afraid of death. I'd have no problem handling bodies myself, but I'm almost certainly in the minority on that. And besides that there's much more than merely psychological benefits to distancing ourselves from death. It's much more hygienic for one thing, you don't have grandad sat around in his armchair for another week after he's gone like the old days. That's almost certainly one of the reasons plague outbreaks remained frequent up until the mid 19th century, but became far less problematic over the years; and is one of the reasons diseases like ebola continue to be problematic in some African cultures where that's still the norm today.

WHAT A WASTEFUL SINNER HE SHAGGED 80 CORPSES BUT HE DID NOT EAT A SINGLE ONE OF THEM. WASTING FOOD IS A SIN.

"When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted." JOHN 6:12

>>69935

how brilliant

>>69935
They'd probably notice if you had a nibble. Evidently they don't check to see if you've had a diddle.

>A double murderer who sexually abused more than 100 female corpses will never be released from prison.

>David Fuller, 67, killed Wendy Knell and Caroline Pierce in two separate attacks in Tunbridge Wells in 1987. He also abused corpses, including children, in two Kent morgues over 12 years while working as a hospital electrician.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-59601656

I didn't realise there was a "you will die in prison" sentence. I thought life sentences always had a minimum term?

>>70070
Whole life tariffs are a thing. There's only few dozen people on them and they're all major wrong'uns like that.

>>70070
Aye same, but Wayne Couzens was publicised as having a Whole Life Order, so I'm surprised that it's something I've not noticed before and now we get two at once.

One of my exes had a female coworker who went to her gynaecologist one time for what seemed like an odd bacterial infection in her vagina. Swab results came back saying that the species of bacteria she was suffering from were normally only found in greater numbers in body cavities of human corpses.

Her boyfriend at the time was an assistant in the pathology department of the local hospital. He denied getting frisky with the corpses he was handling, and in his defence, he could have carried them on his skin or clothing just by way of not exercising proper hygiene when changing out of his work clothes at the end of a shift. But it's still not a discussion you really want to have with your partner.

>>70072
That stepmum that tortured and killed that kid was given life with a minimum of 29 years. I don't mean the lesbian stepmum or that other kid that was killed recently.

I'd have thought doing that to a child was worse than putting your knob in a few dead bodies.

>>70073
I always wonder what goes through someone's head when they repeat these old urban legends. Are you hoping other people will believe it? Do you yourself believe it? How many details did you add or alter that weren't specifically told to you by the person you heard it from?

>>70075

Not an urban legend. This actually happened. I have no reason to believe that my ex was lying to me about her coworker telling her about it.

>>70076

The psychology of people doubling-down on urban legends when they've been called out is also interesting. Are you just seeing how gullible the people you tell it to are or is it more about not wanting to back down, or believe for yourself it's a myth?

>>70075
When I worked for Hull City Council there was a story that a bunch of people had gone round to a woman's house to surprise her for her birthday. She got home, whipped her clothes off, smeared peanut butter on her fanny and was going to get her dog to lick it off when the surprise happened.

It's not too far off the stories you were told at school such as some lass getting bummed and the cock hit the poo spot up her by bum and it made her instantly diarrhoea everything in her body.

>>70077

>or is it more about not wanting to back down, or believe for yourself it's a myth?

I'm just telling what I was told. You'll have to ask my ex's coworker if it actually happened.

>>70078

That peanut butter story's older than most of us here. You're right, they have the same sort of feel to them.

I was told the dead-dog-in-a-suitcase one recently and know a guy who absolutely swears that he met the took-LSD-thinks-he's-an-orange bloke. Humans are weird.

>>70081

The other story I remember from my time there is being told that there was an African couple who'd migrated here and decided to name their daughter after a beautiful English word they'd heard. Chlamydia. Apparently they weren't told what it meant until baby chlamydia was about to start school, at which point her name was changed.

>>70079

I know it didn't happen. She'll just tell us we're mistaken, it happened to someone one step further removed and if you ask them they'll say the same thing and so on.

>>70082

Statistically speaking some variations on that have definitely happened many times but it's up there too.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/funny-names/

>>70084

People play enough silly buggers with their children's names with or without urban legends.

I've remembered another one from working at Hull City Council. One of the workers told me that he'd gone to a job at one of the children's homes and came face to face with one of Jamie bugler's killers. Wonder if that one was bollocks too.

>>70099
Almost definitely yes. They are so hated by society that they live under assumed identities now. It is illegal to report on their new names or anything. One of them does keep getting arrested for shoplifting and things, but the other one seems to have reintegrated into society successfully. Whichever one your buddy met, I can't see how he would have known unless the guy told him, and if someone told me they killed Jamie Bulger, I would not necessarily believe them.

>>70104
I'm sure one of them got nicked for child porn a few years back.

>>70107

>https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2010/mar/07/jon-venables-alleged-child-porn-offences

Except they beat around the bush a fair bit in the article and say he became "mentally fragile".