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>> No. 70066 Anonymous
12th December 2021
Sunday 5:30 pm
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>'GOING TO DIE': British man recounts attack by otters in Singapore

>A British man taking an early morning walk in Singapore Botanic Gardens said he was attacked by a pack of wild otters, leaving him with 26 wounds on his buttocks, legs and fingers. Graham Spencer, in his 60s, was on his usual 6 a.m. walk in the gardens on Nov. 30, when a “convoy” of about 20 otters ambushed him, causing him to fall, and trampled and bit him.

>“The whole process was 10 or 12 seconds, I couldn’t move…I thought I was going to die. If they bite my face or my neck, I’m dead,” he told Reuters. Spencer escaped when his friend ran over to scream at the otters and pulled him away. Animal welfare groups said it is rare for otters to attack humans unless they feel threatened. Spencer said he thought the otters mistook him for a runner who had run past him, stepping on one of the animals in the dim early morning light.

https://ottawasun.com/news/world/going-to-die-british-man-recounts-attack-by-otters-in-singapore

Can you think of any clever wordsmithing that could potentially lighten up this grizzly situation for one of our expats?
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>> No. 70067 YubYub
12th December 2021
Sunday 5:46 pm
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No way was this story really published in the Ottawa Sun.
>> No. 70069 Samefag
13th December 2021
Monday 3:37 pm
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I bet it was actually weasels or ferrets wot attacked. This chap otter swot up on his mustelids.

Best I can do.

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