This is a bit ridiculous isn't it? Penalising people with degrees.

Is it worth just lying on my CV and saying I don't have a degree? Anyway they can find out? What would be the best way to do it?

>>13507

Is it an apprenticeship or vocational scheme? In which case they only get funding for providing education to people who don't already have it.

>>13507

Would you turn up at a food bank and lie when your cupboards at home were full?

>>13507
I don't think it is ridiculous when their stated mission is to help people without degrees - why should you jump the queue when you've already had that opportunity?

>What would I say? 'Hi, I'm still interested, hope this is ok?'
Yes.

>>13760
I'm going to sound slightly weird here but any advice on phrasing the email nicely to two people that give me the impression I'm a bit annoying to them and don't really care whether I arrive or not?

'Dear XX,

I hope you're well, just following on from our conversation back in [month I'll work out] last year, I wanted to get in touch to say I'm still interested in moving for the position.

Obviously the situation is still very slow moving but I wanted to let you know ahead of time in case anything changes.

Best wishes

Anon'

>>13761

That sounds fine to me. Just pleasantly persistent.

>>13753
Welding an Astute class are we? I know, loose lips and all that.

>>13754

Wrong end of the altimeter.

>>13755
Space ship?

>>13756

Moonraker.

>>13754

A fiver says it's airportlad.

>>13658
Where'd you work in China? Enjoy it? Would you go back?

>>13666
Shanghai.
Enjoyed it more than being hikikomori living with my parents.
I don't imagine I will ever set foot in mainland China again.

I didnt hate it at the time, but I look at friends who have worked consistently in a single company in the UK for a decade and feel like my time has been spent suboptimally.

I'm also pretty sure I have complex PTSD from all the job precarity, and international relocation (five countries in five years), and such.

>>13667
Would you recommend it as an experience? I guess it's pretty difficult to put down any kind of roots in China, but I know a few friends who seem to like it enough that they go back.

>>13670

There's definitely a lot of opportunity there, but I wouldn't have wanted to settle. Generally Westerners will fall into 3 categories: Staying less than a year because they can't adapt to the BS, Marrying and staying forever, or staying 2 years and then moving on to the next thing.

It seemed like the govt was becoming increasingly hostile to foreigners when I left in 2018, and I don't imagine things have improved since COVID. I know a married couple that left in Feb and then just never returned.

Definitely a good thing to do for a while if you're youngish and have nothing more engaging going on.

How much notice did you have?

Trick is to slowly start moving money out of your accounts so they don't know what you had. My dad thought he was being made redundant and had a few months to think about it; ended up with £40K stashed up the attic so he could still claim. Thankfully, his job was fine, but it's a good tactic.

Rules are made to be broken mate.

Pretty much every place I've worked at have always had the hump with me leaving on time.
Cunts.

>>13719

The one job I had with an actual clock/in out system, I got hunted down by the HR woman and chastised for being at work 15 minutes early.

>>13719
Most places I've worked at say you're being paid for your contracted hours, you are at your desk ready to work at nine and can only stop working at five and not a second sooner.

My current place, they are getting ready to leave at ten minutes to, and can't get out the fucking door fast enough when it hits five o'clock. If I'm still busily working up to five I'll look up from my desk and wonder where everyone has vanished to.

>>13721
I work for a team in California. Nobody gives a fuck as long as I show up for the occasional call.

I've been on flexi for a while as have the rest of my team and my manager. As long as the work gets done and gets done, no one cares. WFH is even better, answer a few emails/Team messages via my phone whilst in bed, have a slow start and sit down at my desk for about 11:30am, do things around the house as I get bits of work done, eat and then finish about 7:30ish with everything done (including housework and dinner), drink, read and write into the evening, watch a film and fall asleep. Pretty comfy life. Can't remember the last time I wore more than a t-shirt and boxer shorts. I do not miss my old 'proper' job, having to wear shirt and trousers everyday, 9 - 5 - fuck that. Works for some, not for me.

LinkedIn makes me sick to the core. It's like entering an ultracorporate hellworld with no connection to reality. Full of #ThoughtLeaders and #ChangeManagementCoaches, all presenting this ultra-sanitised 'aspirational' image of a world where the only joy in life comes from work, and everything is squeaky clean.

>>13663

I agree, but I view it from a ruthlessly pragmatic perspective. Job alerts, making the occasional cold contact with people who have similar research interests, etc.. I've actually made some decent use out of it in the few years I've had one.

In theory, there's nothing that you can do with LinkedIn that you can't do with e-mail and mailing lists, yet for whatever reason some people are more open to being contacted on there. Maybe there's an informality to it, the ability to see a human face, it doesn't get buried in work e-mails, or any/none of the above.

Just don't scroll through the newsfeeds, unless you've meticulously curated it or enjoy reading mindless corporate propaganda.

It's an absolute shithole full of shitlords. It can help for getting random recruiters to contact you, but not much else - the endorsements aren't worth anything.

>In what contexts might it be useful?

1. For cyber-stalking work contacts or women you're talking to on dating apps.
2. Once you have a high-skill career with experience so you can laugh at offers for consultancy work.

If you're looking for the kind of work LinkedIn was designed for at the moment then you're better off just applying for public sector jobs. At the very least once you beat the thousands of other applicants you won't have to worry about immediately being made redundant.

Linkedin is facebook for the underemployed/unemployed.

Have you ever had any significant job leads obtained from Linkedin? Have you ever had any significant interactions on Linkedin that has resulted in an improvement in your career?

I had an account from 2007 to 2019 when I deleted it in a huff.

With respect to businesses: if you're not the buyer or the seller, you're the product.

Better to use your offline social/professional network, you can get as many leads from mates on facebook, and be diligent in a job hunt on job boards (especially specialist job boards).

During my last job hunt I applied for >300 positions in a 3 month period. I had about 5 interviews. I only submitted a one-page CV and cover letter for each. If there was any kind of corporate application system that required me to set up an account and pick my high school subjects from drop down menus I didn't apply thinking correctly that I wouldn't be considered for any such position.

>>13544

>not sure what the converse of "I like to get to the centre of the issue" is supposed to be

I took that to mean either wanting to understand the whole problem vs "if it works, it works". Presumably anyone who chooses the latter would be a good fit for middle management or purchasing.

I went through it being as difficult and contradictory a person as I could ("I love to plan my day out", "I hate to follow rules/a routine")and got the same as >>13546

As someone who got the managerial profession allow me to explain your answers:

>>13545
Test and Trace application developer.

>>13550
>>13546
Career unemployment. Be sure to look and behave like an animal to discourage the workforce from complaining of their position.

>>13547
You could review classic movies for Talking Pictures TV or just set up a patreon and do it through youtube. There's probably a need for someone to find all the gems of old.

Get started:

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>13535
That looks like Jez & Ed, a pair of detectives who sort it out proper. Ed is about to nut the bloke in the puffa jacket.

>>13541
>>13539
Surely the most fucking ridiculous thing about this is that the government is suggesting that people do this without offering a single thing to help people into any of these jobs.

>>13523
Oh don't leave us hanging like that.

WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES?

>>13524

I slept with the receptionist's wife (the receptionist was male, extremely popular, and he kept working there for at least five years after I left).

>>13517
Chances are they don't have the details and nobody from the last time still works there.

>>13526
I wouldn't say nobody from 18 years ago is still there. It could be very likely that the middle aged business support type is still there.

>>13527
If they've been there that long, they'll probably see you for the massive ledge you are.

>>13505
Depends on your reasoning I suppose. If it helps, 'm signed on and used to do care work and now understandably there's a lot of care work available. Unfortunately I'm staying with my parents for the time being who fall in the at risk higher age range, which I explained to the person who called me and that any other time I'd be happy to take such a job, but I'm not risking my parents health when care homes are nightmares right now. She seemed to understand and they haven't pushed anything since, that was a few weeks ago now.

Lmao.

>>13514
I've done fuck all and so far they've said nothing. Presuming it's just because so many people are using it right now that you can't check what everybody's doing.

>>13515
Let's be honest, next year the news is going to be full of outraged headlines around how many people/companies lied about being on furlough, and how many restaurants magically sold 1000 meals a day on Rishi's scheme.

>>13481
You can still contact the employer. If they don't know otherwise you can always tell them "I've just seen this ad, is anyone around to talk about it?"

>>13481
Which bit of the application are you struggling with?

The CV or the covering letter?

>>13483

It's not that I'm struggling, it's just a high-end application (40k per year academic/scientific job) that I'd really like to get as good as humanly possible.

>>13484
Slip in a £5 note in the application.

>>13471
> Sadly they don't work if you work for US company while living outside the US.

I'm double guessing myself there, I think. Technically if you live in the UK and work for a US company then you're self employed in the UK. Although you'd probably have to at least set up a limited company and pay yourself a proper PAYE wage in order to swing this visa, which is all very painful.

>>13471
You wouldn't be working for a US company while living outside the US. You'd be carrying out work for your UK company while temporarily in the US.

>>13473

Technically I'm "paid" by a US based consulting company and I declare taxes in the UK as self-employed. Would that be a good enough excuse to get a "B in lieu of H" visa?

I feel like showing up to the consulate and saying you're self employed in the UK and going to work for a US company for a few weeks unlikely to go over well and that you'd have more luck if you had a proper limited company with PAYE payroll set up.

>>13474
>saying you're self employed in the UK and going to work for a US company for a few weeks unlikely to go over well

It really does not. The only issues I've ever had at the US border was when I was in this situation. It was bona fide too, my company in the UK had employees, accounts, etc; we were doing a couple of weeks work on an installation - temporary - but it's the only time I got stopped at the border and then taken off to an interview room. Terrible and frightening.

>>13475

If you're going over on a visa waiver you should just say you're visiting a client, it's never failed me in maybe a dozen work trips (knock on wood). It's a really stupid grey area where meetings are fine but actually doing work that money is changing hands for requires a work visa.

Or if you're really paranoid just go in via Las Vegas and get a connecting flight the next day. Just try not to max out your entire expense budget on blackjack and the drugs every damn cab driver will oh so subtly hint they can get you.

>>13445

We're a small organisation (around 10 staff) so we don't have a proper HR department, and to be honest I dunno if I would be comfortable telling them about this.

How would I be exposing myself to risk if I ignore it?

>>13444
>I'm tempted to text her letting her know that she's applied for a job I'm hiring for, but I'm worried that this would be inappropriate and could get me in trouble.

lol

Arrange the job interview at a restaurant or other date setting. Two birds with one stone.

>>13446

If you give her the job, you could be accused of favouritism. If you don't give her the job, you could be accused of spite. If she gets the job and an issue crops up down the road, whatever contact you had with her on the dating app could be used as evidence of your amorous/malicious intent.

Just tell your boss. As soon as you tell your boss, it's his problem, not yours. It might be mildly embarrassing, but it'll be far more embarrassing if it comes out later and it looks like you were hiding something.

>>13449
Not the OP, but I get the feeling that if she doesn't get the job she won't complain.

>>13418

I think that's everyone's experience. It's one of those things everyone has probably noticed by just knows you're supposed to brush over in any context requiring PC.

My work was in the situation a few years ago where me and another lad were the only males, to 8 or 9 females. The rest of the lasses actively requested that in future they try to hire more lads, because the catiness was getting so severe. It's mad that it's something they even recognised themselves but were incapable of just... Not being.

>>13419
I couldn't care less at this point. I'm a corporate drone, if they dimple or dangle makes little difference to how much I detest filling in the TPS reports... err, ticking off my SSADM blocks... err, [s]story points[s]... err, commenting enough on the corporate GitHub? >>13409 yes.

They are all playing the same game.

>>13420
[sic]

>>13417
>>13418
>>13419
I reckon it's just playground antics bubbling up into adulthood. As a lad I might have a (professional) dust-up with someone one day and the next we'll have a laugh over a pint, women meanwhile go into long-simmering psychological conflicts. I'm stereotyping here but I reckon women could do with corporate training in how to properly conduct monkey business.

Still, while a lad team works well I find a male-dominated office somehow lacking something that is difficult to describe. Women have this calming effect and, in general, stop you from living like a caveman.

>>13422

>>13396
Typical adult gamer, expecting others to take care of his own responsibilities.

>>13394

Why not just run a keylogger on your laptop, and temporarily block her phone from the internet on your router so she's forced to use your computer for a couple of days? You'll probably get facebook, insta, maybe even a bank account or two.

>>13399
Why would I want access to her bank account? That'd be crossing a line.

>>13400

I'm not saying you would, just that you could.

Useful for tracking where she's been, though.

>>13396

I feel you.

I upgraded my system a couple of months ago, and the most fun I've actually had with it is the first couple of weeks where I was repeatedly running benchmarks, swapping out the fans, and tweaking the fan curves to see how quiet I could make it without getting into throttling territory.

Still undecided if the pair of 140mm fans I had in the front before were better than the higher spec 120mm ones I have in now, because I feel like they blow a bit too exclusively at the GPU and starve the CPU radiator a bit. If I was to swap them and test it out, I could easily waste a week tinkering without booting up a single game.