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>> No. 14410 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 7:00 am
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The pampered, petulant, self-pitying Prince


I know many of you won't read The Mail, but it's quite entertaining watching them stick the boot into Charles.
Expand all images.
>> No. 14411 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 7:03 am
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'Nobody knows what utter hell it is to be Prince of Wales,’ Charles said in November 2004. His idea of hell, it must be said, is unlikely to be shared by most of his future subjects.

Take, for example, accounts of what it is like to have Prince Charles come to stay for the weekend. Before a visit to one friend in North-East England, he sent his staff ahead a day early with a truck carrying furniture to replace the perfectly appropriate fittings in the guest rooms.

And not just the odd chest of drawers: the truck contained nothing less than Charles and Camilla’s complete bedrooms, including the Prince’s orthopaedic bed, along with his own linen. His staff had also made sure to pack a small radio, Charles’s own lavatory seat, rolls of Kleenex Premium Comfort lavatory paper, Laphroaig whisky and bottled water (for both bedrooms), plus two landscapes of the Scottish Highlands.

The next delivery to arrive was his food — organic, of course. His hosts decided, despite their enjoyment of his company, not to invite him again.

Their experience was less distressing, however, than that of the family asked to host Charles for a long weekend on the Welsh borders. Over the preceding months, they’d invited many friends for the four meals at which he’d preside; they’d also hired staff and ordered in masses of food and flowers.

But on the Friday afternoon of Charles’s expected arrival, there was a call from St James’s Palace to offer regrets. Under pressure of business, the Prince could not arrive until Saturday morning. The following day, the same official telephoned to offer regrets for Saturday lunch, but gave the assurance that Charles would arrive for dinner. Then, that afternoon, the whole visit was cancelled due to ‘unforeseen circumstances’.

The considerable waste and disappointment were not mitigated when Charles later revealed to his stricken hostess the reason for his cancellation. He had felt unable to abandon the beauty of his sunlit garden at Highgrove, he said.

>> No. 14412 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 7:06 am
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For about six months of every year, the heir to the throne enjoyed a unique lifestyle in beautiful places, either in seclusion or with friends.

Although his travelling staff (a butler, two valets, chef, private secretary, typist and bodyguards) could anticipate most of his movements between his six homes, the only definite confirmation of his final destination, especially to his hosts, would be the arrival of a truck carrying suitcases, furniture and food. There then followed endless telephone calls with his staff as he changed his mind about his future plans and projects.

For four months every year he lived in Scotland, where he expected people to visit him from London, usually at their own expense. Sometimes, he travelled abroad. After the death of the Queen Mother in March 2002, for instance, he flew to Greece to stay for three days on his own in a monastery on Mount Athos.

Unfortunately, someone took a photograph that showed the Prince stepping off a boat with a butler and a remarkable amount of luggage in tow — certainly far more than anyone could need for a few days’ meditation. The image didn’t exactly chime with the theme of the imminent Jubilee celebrations: to emphasise the monarchy’s relevance in modern Britain. Charles’s staff could see this, even if he couldn’t. Julia Cleverdon, an executive on one of his charities, stuck the photo on her office wall and wrote, with risky irony: ‘We’re off to Mt Athos with 43 pieces of luggage.’

The Prince’s other free weeks were likely to be divided between well-off friends. At Chatsworth, the 175-room home of his beloved Debo Mitford, the Duchess of Devonshire, Charles and Camilla would be assigned a whole wing for up to three weeks. During the shooting season, the Prince opted for the company of Gerald Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, at either Eaton Hall, near Chester, or at the Duke’s shooting lodge in the Forest of Bowland in Lancashire.

In between, he stayed at Garrowby, the home of the Earl and Countess of Halifax in Yorkshire, and with Chips and Sarah Keswick in Invermark, Scotland.

>> No. 14413 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 7:08 am
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Even his personal policeman was roped in to cater to his comfort. If the Prince had to attend a function, the policeman would arrive with a flask containing a pre-mixed Martini. This would then be handed over to the host’s butler along with a special glass that Charles insisted on using.

And if he was expected to sit for a meal, the host would be informed in advance that an aide would be delivering a bag containing the Prince’s food. This was in complete contrast with the Queen, who always ate what everyone else was having.

None of this petulant behaviour would be on show, however, when Charles emerged in public. On those occasions, he’d show what appeared to be genuine interest in people and events. Few outsiders could guess, commented one adviser, whether or not he was ‘just putting on a game face’.

Sir Christopher Airy, who became his private secretary in 1990, was once reprimanded for suggesting to Charles that a forthcoming visit was ‘your duty’. The Prince shouted at him: ‘Duty is what I live — an intolerable burden.’

At home, his demands were constant, which meant an assistant had to be on call in Charles’s office until he went to sleep. All his aides were subject to familiar daily tirades. ‘Even my office is not the right temperature,’ he’d moan. ‘Why do I have to put up with this? It makes my life so unbearable.’

Sir John Riddell, his private secretary for five years from 1985, once told a colleague that Charles was better suited to being a second-hand car salesman than a royal prince.

‘Every time I made the office work,’ Riddell observed, ‘the Prince fucked it up again. He comes in, complains that his office is “useless” and people cannot spell and the world is so unfair, then says: “This is part of the intolerable burden I put up with. This incompetence!” ’

>> No. 14414 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 7:11 am
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When Charles entertained at home, everything was geared to his own habits and convenience. Dinner would be served to guests at 8pm, but he wouldn’t arrive until 8.15pm, because he’d decided against eating a first course. It was fine, therefore, for dinner guests to start without him. Not at breakfast, though: visitors to Highgrove were cautioned by Camilla not to begin eating before the Prince appeared.

He was also unusually particular about his gardens at Highgrove. Because he refused to use pesticides, he employed four gardeners who would lie, nose-down, on a trailer pulled by a slow-moving Land Rover to pluck out weeds. In addition, retired Indian servicemen were deployed to prowl through the undergrowth at night with torches and handpick slugs from the leaves of plants.

Charles also gave rein to extravagance in his office, where he employed an individual private secretary for each of his interests — including the charities, architecture, complementary medicine and the environment.

And anyone visiting the office at St James’s Palace would be escorted to it by no fewer than three footmen, each responsible for a short segment of corridor.

A weekend with the Prince at Sandringham, meanwhile, can be a decidedly odd experience. One group of writers and journalists, invited five years ago, arrived to find that each of them had been assigned a servant.

Friday after dinner was listed as a cinema night. The chosen film was Robert Altman’s Gosford Park, depicting upstairs/downstairs life to an audience surrounded by the reality of that social order. The film became a regular feature of Charles’s culture weekends. Michael Fawcett, the Prince’s former valet and fixer, supervised the placing of chairs in front of a screen in the ballroom. In the front row were two throne-like armchairs for Charles and Camilla.

Soon everyone was seated, and servants entered with silver platters of ice cream. The film started. Charles and Camilla instantly fell asleep, and the ice cream slowly melted away.

On Saturday, the guests took a walk with Charles, during which he spoke about his belief in a sustainable environment. They were careful to avoid debate: their host, they had been cautioned, was easily offended.

‘People think I’m bonkers, crackers,’ Charles groaned suddenly, in the middle of a field. ‘Do you think I’m mad?’ he asked, in a manner that forbade a positive reply.

The two-hour walk ended back at the house, where the guests were served tea.

‘Right, we’re off,’ Charles announced, striding out of the house after a quick cup. Jumping into his Aston Martin, he drove at breakneck speed down narrow, twisting lanes, reassured that police motorcyclists had cleared other traffic.

His guests followed in a fleet of gleaming Land Rovers, arriving at Charles’s local church in time to hear a short concert.

>> No. 14415 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 7:13 am
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On Sunday, female guests had been instructed to wear appropriate hats and gloves for a trip to the local Anglican church, St Mary the Virgin and St Mary Magdalen. The two who chose to go to mass at a nearby Roman Catholic church felt Charles’s displeasure.

By Sunday dinner, some of the guests had become puzzled about their host. His habit of commandeering a small bowl of olive oil just for himself provoked one visitor to recount a story of Charles during a recent trip to India.

The Prince had invited the banking heir Lord billionaires be rounded up to accompany him. During the tour, a sumptuous lunch was held in a maharaja’s palace. Unexpectedly, a loaf of Italian bread was placed on the table. As an American billionaire reached out to take a piece, Charles shouted: ‘No, that’s mine! Only for me!’

In reply to that story, another visitor recalled that on a previous weekend at Sandringham, a guest had brought Charles a truffle as a gift. To everyone’s envy, Charles did not share the delicacy at dinner but kept it to himself.

As they listened to these curious tales, Charles’s guests did not laugh; there was merely bewilderment.

At the end of the Sandringham weekend — the guests were asked not to leave until the Monday morning — some were told to leave £150 in cash for the staff, or to visit the estate’s souvenir shop. Most would tell their friends that Charles seemed genuine, but that the weekend was surreal.

>> No. 14416 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 7:15 am
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Those who know him have often asked themselves why Prince Charles is so extraordinarily self-indulgent. Why can’t he be more like his mother, who lives without complaint under leaky roofs and in rooms that haven’t been repainted since her Coronation?

In 2006, for instance, Charles used the royal train simply to travel to Penrith to visit a pub — at a cost of £18,916 — as part of his ‘pub in the hub’ initiative to revitalise village life. And he spent £20,980 for a day trip by plane from Scotland to Lincolnshire to watch William receive his RAF wings.

By contrast, the Queen travelled by train — courtesy of First Capital Connect — to Sandringham at Christmas. Her ticket cost £50, instead of the £15,000 her journey would have cost by the royal train.

Some have speculated that Charles’s extravagance is a kind of revenge on the Duke of Edinburgh, for sending him to Gordonstoun in Scotland during his formative years. The Prince loathed the school’s Spartan regime, but his father insisted he stay there to complete his secondary education.

The other mystery is why Charles has never seemed to appreciate his great good fortune. Instead, he has given vent so frequently to resentment that one friend has dubbed him ‘an Olympian whinger’. With a personal income of millions from the Duchy of Cornwall (£16.3 million in 2007 alone) he could afford to indulge his slightest whim — yet even that didn’t satisfy him.

One evening, the Prince was particularly maudlin at a dinner hosted by a billionaire in Klosters, Switzerland, for a number of the super-rich. When they’d finished eating, Charles huddled in a corner with King Constantine of Greece. ‘We pulled the short straw,’ sighed the Prince.

Compared with others in the room, he complained, both he and the King were stuck for cash. In his case, he explained, the Duchy of Cornwall administrators would repeatedly tell him what he couldn’t afford to do.

In fact, Charles doesn’t have to answer to anyone over his use of the duchy’s income. At the time of his complaint, among his 124 staff — most of them paid for by taxpayers — were four valets.

Why four for one man? So that two would always be available to help him change his clothes, which he did up to five times every day.

It could be argued that it is his association with billionaires that has made Charles so dissatisfied with his lot. During a recent after-dinner speech at Waddesdon Manor, Lord Rothschild’s Buckinghamshire home, Charles complained that his host employed more gardeners than himself — 15 against his nine.

>> No. 14417 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 7:37 am
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No wonder Diana had it off with Dodi.
>> No. 14418 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 9:17 am
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tl;dr Charles is a massive cunt.

Also in today's Mail: bear sighted shitting in woodland, scientists confirm wetness of water, and Diana definitely still dead.
>> No. 14419 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 9:19 am
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I can't imagine I'd be a great person if I was raised a royal either. The kids are only half decent because their mum died.
>> No. 14420 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 11:00 am
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I don't care unless he's spending money earmarked for other things.
>> No. 14421 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 11:05 am
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I've been following this story as they have been serialising (yes I do read The Mail) - it is fascinating in many ways, but particularly that it is being featured at all.

I'm afraid he does come across as a terrible cunt, particularly the stuff featured in >>14411 and >>14412 - interesting that it is coming out now.
>> No. 14422 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 11:46 am
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I've never heard an account of the Queen being like this, everyone I know who has met her always has a charming anecdote.

He needs to abdicate and let William take over.
>> No. 14423 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 12:08 pm
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What's so great about William?
>> No. 14424 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 12:32 pm
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He's actually related to the Queen.
>> No. 14427 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 2:28 pm
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And also vaguely human. That gene sometimes skips a generation.
>> No. 14428 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 4:27 pm
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If Edward VIII was forced to abdicate, as well loved as he was, then this cunt might trigger a Republican uprising.
>> No. 14429 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 5:17 pm
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We haven't had one of them for a few hundred years, it's about time. Install Boris Johnson as Lord Protector of the Commonwealth, wave some flags what and in twenty or thirty years William can take over and someone can make a killing selling commemorative tea towels.
>> No. 14430 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 5:47 pm
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That's not going to happen. Charles will abuse his power in ways that his mother didn't, might even withhold royal assent on something. Lots of republican and nationalist MPs will make political capital out of his behaviour. If he pisses off the powers that be, they will have a quiet word with him and yes, maybe they'll make him abdicate. And possibly a token nutter will try and storm Buckingham Palace with a knife and be shot.

But a popular uprising? Never. Trump is a hundred times worse, a crypto-fascist, but you don't see a civil war happening over there. And they have a lot more guns.
>> No. 14431 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 7:17 pm
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Looks like someone watched King Charles III.
>> No. 14432 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 8:05 pm
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Why do people constantly misunderstand Trump in this manner? We may see him as a crypto-fascist (I wold argue it doesn't even merit the crypto part)- But to a staggering number of Americans, almost all of the rootin' tootin' gun shootin' ones, he's the first president in decades who talks sense. That's the American political psyche for you.

It must be a bit shit being in the royal family though. They're like, our nationalised rich cunts. They're the best state owned organisation after the NHS. They have to go around and make pals with all these big business leaders and world industry players, and act like they're the biggest cheeses. When often they are the relative paupers in the room- I mean they are on benefits after all.

Must drive you a bit mad growing up in that sort of environment at any rate.
>> No. 14488 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 7:00 am
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>It must be a bit shit being in the royal family though.

I have often thought this too - the money and grand houses wouldn't make up for all the bullshit you would have to put up with.
>> No. 14489 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 8:54 am
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That's why it's best to be a minor royal.

Nobody expects Beatrice and Eugenie to do anything except mooch.
>> No. 14490 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 8:58 am
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Why, is that the plot? Hey look at me I'm a screenwriter.
>> No. 14491 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 9:05 am
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Where did I say every American hates Trump, you dunce?
>> No. 14492 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 9:56 am
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>> No. 14493 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 10:05 am
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Right here, lad, just look.

And can we stop pretending there's anything good about, or difficulty involved with being, the royal family of this otherwise half-decent group of islands.
>> No. 14494 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 10:54 am
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princess beatrice 02.jpg
As long as she doesn't fully open her eyes or smile.
>> No. 14495 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 11:19 am
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>> No. 14496 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 11:30 am
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I never said that. You just photoshopped it. You haven't even done it well because the words are misaligned. Also the timestamp is from the post I just made and not the post we are talking about. You've made all sorts of sloppy mistakes here and no-one is going to fall for it.
>> No. 14497 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 12:24 pm
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Can't tell if this is bantz or not.
>> No. 14498 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 12:26 pm
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Princess Eugenie Princess Eugenie Vacation dh0gHrs.jpg
Hush, now. We've got more important things to talk about, like which members of royalty you'd pollinate.
>> No. 14499 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 12:37 pm
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There's something I find extremely compelling about the proper old money posh birds. They exude daddy issues and seem to feel the same about slightly dodgy working class blokes like me as I do about them.

I think it's because of the horses.
>> No. 14500 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 12:42 pm
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You can see where the British inbred memes come from.
>> No. 14501 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 1:26 pm
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>There's something I find extremely compelling about the proper old money posh birds.

I met loads of them at uni through my contacts to the local Conservative Association. A few of them were studying proper things like law or medicine or economics, but there were also the ones whose families or dads were so loaded that they could afford to go to art school and/or get some sort of worthless liberal arts degree. Because Daddy was going to make sure that even with an M. A. in Greek archaeology, she would land a top job somewhere.

I found most of them to be quite snooty and superficial, to be honest. Unless you were from old money yourself, you would always have a hard time impressing any of them. Especially if like me, you lived in a bedsit and drove a run-down Rover 25. One lass's dad actually went and bought his daughter a single bedroom condo close to the university. Not on credit, mind you, but cash. And he also gave his daughter his old, but not really old 3 series BMW. Which was one of two luxury German cars and a Jaguar E-Type which he owned. He was from some sort of family of landed gentry.

Don't waste your time with them. Even if they will tell you that their money doesn't matter to them, you just have no way of measuring up to their lifestyles that they are accustomed to. How many times a month will you be able to take them out for dinner or spend 75 quid a night on cocktails. You'll always be a pauper in their eyes, and the excitement of being in bed with a member of the unwashed masses will fade quickly.
>> No. 14502 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 1:46 pm
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Cor, wish i was a wet weasle getting jiggled about between them proper posh pudds
>> No. 14503 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 2:47 pm
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They seem to find me charming enough, I just play up my working class roots and northerness (and pretend my last job didn't have the word 'executive' in it) and they lap it up. I wouldn't particularly want to find love with a posh bird, merely tap them for their high levels of filth. They often prove to be very boring girlfriends, or a bit dim, despite all the education.
>> No. 14504 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 2:51 pm
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Your best bet if you want upwards social mobility is to go for the middle class lasses who live in the suburbs in a posh six bedroom house.

You know the sort. Dad's an accountant and she wants to rebel against her parents and rough it for a bit by dating a chav boy racer.
>> No. 14505 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 3:00 pm
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I don't give a shit about mobility lad, I just want a posh bint to ride me like a very expensive horse.
>> No. 14506 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 3:02 pm
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I had a cheeky brown Brazillian mate who'd hang around outside the posh schools picking up that sort, he was about 5'4" and nearly 30.
>> No. 14507 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 3:55 pm
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She came from Greece, she had a thirst for knowledge...
>> No. 14508 Anonymous
25th March 2018
Sunday 11:45 pm
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I thought nobody was going to make that reference. Well done, lad.
>> No. 14582 Anonymous
13th April 2018
Friday 7:25 am
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This is the main story on Mail Online.

From Meghan to Diana an expert reveals the Royals' true personalities as shown by their FEET... so can YOU match these toes to the right princesses?


What the actual fuck?
>> No. 14583 Anonymous
13th April 2018
Friday 11:32 am
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For his 70th birthday, and to mark over half a century of not being king, hrs getting a bridge. Apparently he'll be quite disappointed with all the objections it's getting.
>> No. 14586 Anonymous
14th April 2018
Saturday 1:09 am
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Hopefully he ceremoniously throws himself off the fucker on his 80th while the Queen does wheelies in her wheelchair and Dappy from N'Dubz does a totally radio rental grime/dnb remix of the national anthem with Gazza as his Bez but with cans of Stella instead of maracas. Britain. Britain. It almost brings a tear to the eye I don't mind telling you lads.

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