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>> No. 9544 Anonymous
26th June 2013
Wednesday 10:29 pm
9544 Recipes only, no comments. Stickied

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>> No. 12387 Anonymous
26th November 2017
Sunday 8:45 pm
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The best pudding ever:-

• One sachet of chocolate mousse mixture. I recommend Green's.

• A few drops of orange extract. I recommend Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Valencian orange extract.

It's like an incredibly intense version of Terry's chocolate orange. Seriously, it's the tits.
>> No. 12388 Anonymous
26th November 2017
Sunday 9:56 pm
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>I recommend Green's
>> No. 12389 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 7:49 pm
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After a tiny bit of trial and error I think I've cracked the best vegetarian lasagna, if it can be classified as such.

• Roast peppers with a fucktonne of oil. I suggest two sweet red pointed peppers and three yellow/red/orange bell peppers.

• When you're done with the oil use it to fry five or six shallots. After they're nice and soft add in one tin of chopped tomatoes and one tin of plum tomatoes. Let them cook for a while before going at them with a masher. Add any tomato puree or salt as you see fit.

• Cook at least one big bag of spinach. When they've wilted mix in some form of soft cheese; ricotta works best but you can use any soft/cream cheese spread instead.

• Mix most of the tomato sauce with the peppers and use this for the bottom two layers of the lasagna. Use the cheesy spinach layer as the middle and the remaining tomato sauce on top.

• Top with cheese and/or breadcrumbs.

• Eat.
>> No. 12430 Anonymous
24th February 2018
Saturday 10:16 am
12430 Ultimate veggie carbonara
Step 1 - Remove stalks from a pack of mushrooms. Lightly brush them in oil, crushed garlic and black pepper. The best thing to do with them is to smoke them, which either requires living in the American Midwest, having a barbecue or either experimenting with your grill or burning something in the bottom of a wok (which you've double lined with tinfoil first) whilst having the mushrooms hovering on top on a wire rack with a lid over them.

Step 2 - Cook 500g of linguine until it is also dente.

Step 3 - Crack four eggs into a bowl and mix them together. Mix cheese, preferably pecorino or another Italian hard cheese but mature cheddar works too, until it's all thick and gloopy.

Step Four - Scoop out a cup full of the pasta water before draining it, but don't shake it completely dry.

Step Five - Mix everything back in the pan. The heat from the pan should cook the egg mixture without scrambling it. Add more cheese to taste and a little of the pasta water if it's not at the desired consistency.

>> No. 12981 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 8:19 pm
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Is there such a thing as a website or app that generates dish ideas based on ingredients that you enter?

Which is to say, you can tell it what you currently have in your kitchen and it'll pop out with a recommendation (and let you know what ingredients of yours will work as a facsimile, or cross out those that are non essential, etc.).

I've tried Supercook, but there's no 'fuzziness' there. Only strictly the ingredients you have.
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>> No. 12982 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:01 pm
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I want the same thing lad. Closest I've found is the 'Dinner Spinner' by allrecipes.com.
>> No. 12983 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:03 pm
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Oh. That I look closer, I think it is based on the same technology. Sorry.
>> No. 12984 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:06 pm
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http://myfridgefood.com/ is that but it's pretty americanised so might not be that useful to you.

It'd make a great app, but I'm not sure that exists.
>> No. 12985 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 3:31 pm
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All recipes lets you search with an ingredient search. I didn't have to use Dinner Spinner.

>> No. 5883 Anonymous
6th April 2011
Wednesday 5:52 pm
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Why do a lot of people seem to rave about Nando's?

My friends think I'm a freak because I very rarely eat Subway or Nando's; as far I can tell it's just, not especially good quality, grilled chicken that has been marinated in peri-peri sauce. Am I missing something here?
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>> No. 12976 Anonymous
19th February 2019
Tuesday 7:38 am
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>The average brit is certainly less adventurous when it comes to food than almost any other european nation
Is that really true? What's a good way to fairly compare number of foreign restaurants with other European countries?
We do have a lot and in my admittedly limited experience other European countries really don't.
>> No. 12977 Anonymous
19th February 2019
Tuesday 8:00 am
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We have better restaurants but our home cooking is worse.

This is believed to stem from medieval times as we were far better at keeping produce fresher whereas those pesky continentals had to use things such as seasoning to make the taste of it going off. That and war rationing; there's nothing my uncle loves more than bland boiled food because that's what he grew up with.
>> No. 12978 Anonymous
19th February 2019
Tuesday 8:11 am
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While you're right that we have restaurants from all corners of the empire, it's very much a "mile wide, inch deep" situation. Most menus are really rather predictable when it comes down to it. I'm not saying I dislike our cultural mix of restaurants, I'm not saying we don't have talented chefs and interesting ideas, we do - but even our innovation is rooted in the safety and comfort of traditionalism. For example, tripe or pig's feet were seen as fresh and trendy ideas a couple of years back, but they're simply ideas dragged up from eighty years ago. It's 'new' but still feels safe because Grandma used to eat it.

We do have lots of international restaurants, but whether they're homogenised chains or independents, the market dictates what they sell and it's a menu we can all write in our heads - french places do beef bourguignon, baked camembert, and mussels served in one of those black pots. Indian restaurants serve English curries and vague diluted versions of Indian dishes. Italian places do spag bol or carbonara with cream. Like it or not, it's all anglicised. The owners may be authentically from those countries, but they learned long ago that we don't want their food, we want their version of our food.

I don't want to paint too bleak a picture, we do have a lively food industry, I just think it's trapped in a box because the nation's palate simply isn't that broad.

Put it this way - for all the cooking shows on TV, the hundreds of hours a month of food content now - how many times have you seen someone make Scallops with black pudding and pea puree? We're just not that imaginative when it comes to food. You're spot on in that you don't see hundreds of greek/turkish/chinese/whatever restaurants in Paris, but it's also much more difficult to pin down what the average menu looks like in that city.
>> No. 12979 Anonymous
19th February 2019
Tuesday 8:17 am
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I'll add too that if you live in London, you might disagree with me, as there are certainly more adventurous establishments there, and sometimes more authentic ones, due to the nature of the city. But stepping outside of that bubble, and it is a bubble even if it's a very large one, the country as a whole is a different story.
>> No. 12980 Anonymous
19th February 2019
Tuesday 9:19 am
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Seem like reasonable responses, cheers lads.
I've definitely lived in a variety of bubbles that would expose me to a broad range of foods, so didn't want to make assumptions.
I wouldn't want to eat scallops with black pudding and pea puree though, that sounds very bland. You'd need something sharp to go with it.

>> No. 12946 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 3:52 pm
12946 Shitty beans
Was the idea of having horrible surprise flavour jelly beans a thing before the Harry Potter books or did Rowling come up with the idea?
I'm not really old enough to remember.
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>> No. 12947 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 9:52 pm
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>"Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans" were inspired by the Harry Potter book series and featured intentionally gruesome flavors such as "Vomit", "Earwax", "Skunk Spray", and "Rotten Egg". A similar product dubbed "BeanBoozled" pairs lookalike "normal" flavors with weird flavors, such as "Peach" and "Barf".[26][27]

Apparently inspired by Harry Potter, today I learned, interesting. It's one of those sweets though where you feel generally grim after consumption of a whole pack because you can never have five.

>> No. 12948 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 10:34 pm
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There were always shit favoured jelly beans. The worst type of sweet, by far, was those red hot cinnamon ones. I've no idea why they were ever a thing.
>> No. 12949 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 10:47 pm
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It's probably because someone invented cinammon, then someone else lied to him for a laugh and pretend to like the taste, so of course he assumed a bean-based version of the same flavour would be welcomed.
>> No. 12950 Anonymous
14th January 2019
Monday 12:07 am
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Yanks fucking love cinnamon. No idea why.
>> No. 12951 Anonymous
14th January 2019
Monday 8:46 am
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>> No. 12900 Anonymous
1st January 2019
Tuesday 10:19 am
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In this thread I am going to rank various foodstuffs. You don't have to agree with my opinion, but then you'd be wrong.

I shall start with baked beans. The best baked beans are by Branston. The second best baked beans are Corale beans by Aldi.
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>> No. 12941 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 8:27 pm
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When is the backlash going to start against all this sassy reply bullshit that comes out of corporate twitter accounts these days? You're Greggs for fucks sake, have some self-respect.

I wonder if we'll start seeing the vegan equivalent white van men. You'll be innocently walking to the shops and a couple of art hoes will start hurling sexual offers at you from their van and you can't tell them to go fuck themselves because what with being all monists it's what they're asking for in a roundabout way.
>> No. 12942 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 9:06 pm
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I can't even see their faces properly, but I 100% would. Any girl with a fringe like that has serious daddy issues.

Saging for casual misogyny.
>> No. 12943 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 9:10 pm
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That's not acceptable, lad. You know the misogyny dress code is smart-casual.
>> No. 12944 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 5:02 pm
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Asda crispy homestyle chips are very nice.
>> No. 12945 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 5:48 pm
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I find it very difficult to enjoy oven chips after a career of being able to pick at fresh chips straight out of a fryer. They're just not the same.

>> No. 12845 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 1:57 pm
12845 Espresso bollocks
My old man really likes that type of coffee.

I'm thinking about buying him a small semi-auto machine for a birthday gift. There's a wee problem here: I can't figure what exactly I should aim for. Advice on the Net differs: some say the bean quality and the grind uniformity are the things that matter the most, others state that one shouldn't even try to approach espresso without a machine on par with Gaggia Classic / Europiccola, not even mentioning a decent grinder.

Just how important is having a proper coffee hipsterenthusiast endorsed machine? I sense that their advice might be truthful per se but could it be something with diminishing returns compared to a mildly bog standard espresso maker?
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>> No. 12849 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 5:15 pm
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He might. He did all that jazz on his previous job. As far as I can judge it wasn't too much nuisance for him, perhaps even some sort of a rather pleasant ritual.
He has one, I think. It's a good little thing but the coffee it makes is of different kind, despite being brewed by pressure too.
>> No. 12850 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 7:38 pm
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The middle ground option would be a semi-automatic machine with a capsule-compatible portafilter. That gives you the choice between doing everything yourself, or just dropping in a capsule if you can't be arsed with grinding and tamping.

As regards the original question, I think that entry-level machines have improved greatly in recent years. Cheap fully-automatic capsule machines make a perfectly decent espresso, they just lack the level of control that hobbyists want.
>> No. 12851 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 9:23 pm
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>> No. 12858 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 10:08 am
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Instant? Please. Even the Polish method (or Israeli 'kafe bots', whatever the damn name is) yields better results.
>> No. 12899 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 4:04 pm
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Speaking of espresso, are there any decent materials about this magic? What I'm actually interested about is modern 'schools of preparation'.
That Italian Espresso Institute paper said 7 g of ground coffee per one serving. Americans seem to be stuffing at least 14 g, usually 18 to 21 g.

>> No. 12576 Anonymous
19th August 2018
Sunday 1:41 pm
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Is cultural appropriation even possible when it comes to cooking?
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>> No. 12894 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 8:02 pm
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Left is a goer, middle likes anal but only occasionally, right won't even give you a blowie unless it's your birthday.
>> No. 12895 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 8:13 pm
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Left looks like she'd be very loose and sloppy, with no firmness to her body whatsoever. She'd drive you up the wall with the inane things she frequently utters.

Middle looks like there's some hidden horror lurking beneath, like she's got a ridiculously hairy muff and it's all matted with discharge because she doesn't believe in washing.

Right is ice cold. She just lies there like a dead fish during sex.
>> No. 12896 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 8:55 pm
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Left has an undiagnosed learning disability and is quick to anger.
Middle is a skinny-fat bloke who grew a vagina to go with those sad tits.
Right has an eating disorder and cutting scars - like shagging a greyhound.

Trust me, I have shit taste in women.
>> No. 12897 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 11:17 pm
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>like shagging a greyhound

Is that good or bad?
>> No. 12898 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 11:35 pm
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Bad, since they are thin and not necessarily well cared for. A plumper dog from a loving family would be a much better shag.

>> No. 12855 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 3:06 pm
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Cooking instructions are maddeningly verbose to me. I just read an article on how to cook rice that somehow stretched to 200 words, when it could have been summarised in "rinse if you want to, cover it with water in a lidded pot and boil it until it's soft".

Are there any decent websites that just tell you, stick X in gredient in Y pan for Z minutes? What's the cooking equivalent of a Hayne's manual?
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>> No. 12856 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 3:13 pm
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Cooking blogs have to write an entire article about the recipe, as a small list of ingredients and a method alone would tank their search engine prioritisation. Google doesn't seem to like to push 'low effort' webpages, which is what the algorithms see a recipe alone as.

I've never seen one of these sites that doesn't, somewhere on the page, display said simple list of ingredients and a step-by-step list of the method.
>> No. 12857 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 5:33 pm
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Haynes do cookbooks, m8.

>> No. 12690 Anonymous
29th August 2018
Wednesday 9:46 am
12690 Time for this year's fungal infection?
The rains have fallen, the fungus is sprouting.
Can't seem to find this chap in the guides - doesn't look that appealing. Any hints?
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>> No. 12736 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 11:37 am
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I'm not here looking for buttsex, btw. Just wondering if things I find while walking the dog will make a nice omelette, or kill me.
Got lots of these, f'rinstance, but they're just nice to look at, not particularly interesting for food or recreation.
>> No. 12737 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 12:03 pm
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The stipe is different in colouration, it has that giraffe pattern on a parasol even at the early stages of developement,where as OPs mushroom doesn't.
>> No. 12852 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 5:47 am
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If you cut the stipe on those ones and it stains reddish or rusty after a few minutes and eventually turns brown then they're great to eat. If its the kind with a greenish sport print then it awful and you'll get sick. The good kind used to be called Lepioda Rachodes, but mushroom taxonimists keep on changing it's official name so I don't know what its called these days, but its still edible regardless.
>> No. 12853 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 9:53 am
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Is this good eating?
Web doesn't seem to say, one way or another.
>> No. 12854 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 1:11 pm
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I'm no expert but have you considered setting up a GoFundMe instead?

>> No. 12807 Anonymous
10th November 2018
Saturday 9:39 am
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What's the best method for making tomato sauce?

I usually slowly cook a few tins of plum tomatoes, but it doesn't quite taste as rich and strong as I'd like. Should I be adding in tomato puree?
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>> No. 12840 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 3:05 pm
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I wonder if this is our biggest claim to fame. I know there's been some vague celebrity suspicions over the years, but other than Bezos giving one of us a shoe once, I think this might be the most notable.
>> No. 12841 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 3:10 pm
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Noel Edmonds.
>> No. 12842 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 3:16 pm
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My ex girlfriend's cousin was the tramp that got his ear bitten by Alan Davies.
>> No. 12843 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 5:37 pm
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Happy to assist a fellow man of culture:


You can buy almost every REAL italian food from there. The "bulk deals" have a lot of excellent ingredients for a very low price.
>> No. 12844 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 6:40 pm
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Thank you very much, I didn't know about them.

>> No. 12184 Anonymous
30th December 2016
Friday 1:56 am
12184 Beef Jerky
I got one of these for christmas so I made some beef jerky.
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>> No. 12277 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 2:29 pm
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Have you tried using tamari instead of soy sauce? I have a feeling it'd work well with one of these; more umami.
>> No. 12279 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 2:46 pm
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No. I'll have a look for it next time I'm at an Asian supermarket.
>> No. 12740 Anonymous
12th September 2018
Wednesday 9:38 pm
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I just got one to do my glut of figs. They've been going for 30 hours so far, and still have some way to go. Testing them from time to time - Mmm, warm, concentrated figgy goodness. Even if they don't dry out properly (I just quartered them), they're ridiculously nice.
Apples next, once the fig glut is cleared.
>> No. 12741 Anonymous
14th September 2018
Friday 4:27 pm
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Figs are pretty big, I hope you sliced them up first.
>> No. 12742 Anonymous
14th September 2018
Friday 4:31 pm
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>>12741 (I just quartered them)

they came out great, very happy with the results. Will be drying out all sorts of things now.As a way of smoothing out peaks of stuff from the garden, it's got a lot going for it - saves ramming the freezer full of stuff that isn't improved by freezing. Still throwing out over 200kg of duff apples a week, it's been a really shitty year for that, with the mad weather.

>> No. 12571 Anonymous
17th August 2018
Friday 5:57 pm
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Are there any decent cookery channels or videos online? I'd be surprised if there wasn't, but I don't know of any.
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>> No. 12730 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 12:24 am
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His cats might be very well behaved by western standards but to the japanese those cats are practically feral

>> No. 12731 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 1:04 am
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IRA subliminal flashes
>> No. 12734 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 11:02 am
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Do you not know what the Indian flag looks like?
>> No. 12738 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 6:05 pm
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Depends what you're looking for really.

Alton Brown doesn't really release on YouTube anymore but his back catalogue — and Good Eats series if you can find it — is a must-watch. Yank Heston Blumenthal with less of the pug-faced wanker snobbery.

Chef John's Foooood Wishes dot cooom is punny, technique-focused experimental cooking for the home kitchen. He's a good laugh.

Barry Lewis' My Virgin Kitchen is a bloke from Weston who used to be shit at cooking and is now quite good. Does a lot of those one-shot kitchen gadget vids too which can be entertaining.

Sorted and Jamie Oliver's channels are alright too.

For everything else (and entertainment value ramped up to 11,) I'd recommend Binging with Babish and his Basics with Babish side-series. The latter teaches you essential culinary skills in an easy to digest format. Not to say you're thick but you probably are if you're coming to us for help, let's be honest.

RIP Francis-san. It's not been the same since.
>> No. 12739 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 6:54 pm
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Alex-French-Guy doesn't quite fall into the normal category of a cooking show, but he can be quite entertaining. There are a lot of mad and highly detailed ramblings about simple things like boiling eggs.


>> No. 12349 Anonymous
13th October 2017
Friday 3:44 pm
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Are there any other nice hot drinks that take milk? I understand how retarded that sounds but I'm starting to get sick of normal tea and coffee.
Hot chocolate is nice and all but not something I can drink all the time.
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>> No. 12542 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 11:57 am
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I too am known to be partial to a nice bit of red bush.
>> No. 12543 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 12:01 pm
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On a serious note, one of my colleagues has recently switched to this stuff in an effort to battle her caffeine addiction. Initially I was quite skeptical but she made me a mug of it and I was pleasantly surprised at how bearable it was. Tastes somewhere between a barley malt drink like Horlicks with some of the bitterness of coffee from the chicory. Holland & Barrett.
>> No. 12544 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 6:58 pm
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Didn't they used to call it Mellow Birds bitd?
>> No. 12545 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 7:22 pm
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Mellow birds bifter?
>> No. 12546 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 8:24 pm
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Mellow Birds was (and is) just an incredibly bland instant coffee. Camp Coffee is mostly chicory, inexplicably liquid and markedly less racist than it used to be.

>> No. 12522 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 8:55 pm
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Does anyone know what the full recipe for this roast veg recipe is? I've had a look on the Newcastle can website but didn't see it there.

It starts at 42:10



4 x Carrots
3 x red onions
3 x potatoes
4 x parsnips
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
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>> No. 12523 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 9:06 pm
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If it's Hugh then it probably involves wrapping a sleeping woman's hair around your cock whilst you wank off.
>> No. 12524 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 10:57 pm
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Wanking with someone's hair just sounds weird and uncomfortable. Why can't he wank off with that person's mother's or sister's knickers instead like a normal person.
>> No. 12525 Anonymous
16th May 2018
Wednesday 1:25 am
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I don't see where he's used the potatoes. My professional assumption would be you'd roast the potato in with the other root veg, and the grated stuff at the end looks a lot like squash (or carrot) and cabbage, though celeriac and carrots would have much the same effect. He calls that bit a salad, so one would have to assume he's mixed a bit of vinegar and oil together for a classic vinaigrette dressing.
>> No. 12526 Anonymous
16th May 2018
Wednesday 9:49 am
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Let's hope, it's as delectable as Noble implies.

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