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>> No. 9544 Anonymous
26th June 2013
Wednesday 10:29 pm
9544 Recipes only, no comments. Stickied

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>> No. 13125 Anonymous
26th October 2019
Saturday 10:26 pm
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>> No. 13126 Anonymous
27th October 2019
Sunday 10:13 am
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hot chips dipped in chocolate spread
>> No. 13127 Anonymous
27th October 2019
Sunday 10:18 am
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Mate. I'm going to blow your mind.
>> No. 13128 Anonymous
27th October 2019
Sunday 11:23 am
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Never had gammon with pineapple, but it must be the original root cause of the pizza topping, and so therefore delicious.

>> No. 13073 Anonymous
28th September 2019
Saturday 11:59 am
13073 Hot sauces and chili jams
Any of you lads had any experience with making your own hot sauce or chili jams? If not, do you have any favourites?

I'm about to harvest my chili plant and retire it for the winter. I'll probably cook up a few batches and bottle them for the next couple of months.

My proposed mix is as follows:

- 3 x Scotch bonnet
- 3 x jalapeno (grilled)
- 1 x bell pepper (roasted)
- Handful of roasted plum tomatoes
- Half an onion (grilled)
- Some garlic
- Some ginger
- A few carrots (roasted)
- Salt
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>> No. 13076 Anonymous
29th September 2019
Sunday 12:11 pm
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Sounds delicious - I like the roasted plum tomatoes.
>> No. 13077 Anonymous
29th September 2019
Sunday 2:56 pm
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It turned out alright, I suppose. Less yield than I'd expected mostly due to not being able to liquefy it as much as I anticipated. Not sure if I just didn't add enough liquid or what.
>> No. 13081 Anonymous
29th September 2019
Sunday 7:01 pm
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Are you a hård man, OP?

>> No. 13084 Anonymous
30th September 2019
Monday 6:27 pm
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Bit late, but this guy has a lot of good guides to making chilli sauces. You might want to look at making a fermented sauce too. They're "easy" in one sense of the word, although you might face certain problems with that route.

>> No. 13124 Anonymous
26th October 2019
Saturday 12:46 pm
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12x random chilli pepper I was sent. Look like Trinidad Scorpions but it's hard to be sure.
Half a mug of dried sichuan peppers
2x Garlic cloves
Roasted on a low temperature for a bit then took the sichuan peppers out when they started to smoke. Turned up the temperature and continued roasting until the chillies started to blacken a little.
.5 cup light soy sauce
1x cup of rice vinegar
1.5 shots of lime juice
1x teaspoon of cayenne pepper
.5 test tube of dried chipotle
1x teaspoon salt
1x tablespoon MSG
Peeled the now soft garlic & removed the chilli pepper stalks, blended all the ingredients together as homogeneously as possible. Brought to a boil then simmered for the remainder of 30 minutes while fairly constantly stirring.

It's cooling now. I can see subsidence is a problem as it keeps separating so will need shaking/stirring before serving but it's really delicious.

>> No. 5883 Anonymous
6th April 2011
Wednesday 5:52 pm
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Why do a lot of people seem to rave about Nando's?

My friends think I'm a freak because I very rarely eat Subway or Nando's; as far I can tell it's just, not especially good quality, grilled chicken that has been marinated in peri-peri sauce. Am I missing something here?
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>> No. 13116 Anonymous
25th October 2019
Friday 6:37 pm
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>Burger King seem to have gone right downhill.
For me the end of Burger King as something I'd look forwards to as a treat was when they changed their fries. They used to be delicious and crunchy, now they're just the bog standard soggy, tasteless chips you'd get in any canteen in the land. I only eat one these days if I'm on the road and hungry enough not to wait to find something better. Once or twice a year, if that.

>Definitely not worth the £7.50 it cost.
The difference in price vs. McDonalds is quite pronounced these days. You don't get much change back from a tenner, which is enough to buy proper food from a pub.
>> No. 13119 Anonymous
25th October 2019
Friday 7:18 pm
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A Big Mac and fries is £1.99. If you're paying £7.50 for a meal in McDonalds you're a fucking mug.
>> No. 13120 Anonymous
25th October 2019
Friday 8:09 pm
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Yeah, but Big Macs are shite.
>> No. 13121 Anonymous
25th October 2019
Friday 9:52 pm
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>Big Mac and fries is £1.99

Is it? I thought a Big Mac was about three quid now?


Incorrect. They're actually really nice.
>> No. 13122 Anonymous
25th October 2019
Friday 11:59 pm
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sler cucker.jpg
>> No. 13078 Anonymous
29th September 2019
Sunday 3:34 pm
13078 Slow Cooker Curry
What am I doing wrong, lads? Every slow cooker curry I make turns out more like a watery broth; there's absolutely no thickness to the sauce and it just doesn't... taste like a curry. It has all the flavours but it doesn't quite mesh right.

My process is:
Fry chicken pieces with onions, carrots, and broccoli until browned off.
Put in slow cooker with box of passata, 4 or 5 heaped tablespoons of madras curry powder, and a whole chilli. Sprinkle Oxo cube in too.
Give it a mix, put the lid on, low for 8 hours or high for 6.

Add chopped coriander, leave for 5 mins with lid off, serve.

Every time, as I say, it's just far, far too watery. The most recent batch I froze individual portions of just have no sauce at all. What do?

Thanks lads.
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>> No. 13089 Anonymous
30th September 2019
Monday 8:24 pm
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Have you ever tried to cook something on the hob for eight hours?
>> No. 13090 Anonymous
2nd October 2019
Wednesday 11:33 am
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Add some lentils, OP. It's a better way of adding some body to a curry than cornstarch.
>> No. 13097 Anonymous
18th October 2019
Friday 4:40 pm
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Another advantage is that it uses substantially less energy. The ceramic pot/insulation and lid mean that it loses remarkably little heat.
>> No. 13103 Anonymous
19th October 2019
Saturday 4:13 pm
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I always felt my curries were lacking a certain thickness/creaminess until I discovered cashew paste, but then tikka masala is my favourite. Soak some cashews in about the same volume of milk for a couple of hours, blend well, then chuck in the curry towards the end of cooking.
>> No. 13104 Anonymous
19th October 2019
Saturday 6:10 pm
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My solution to that was simply to add double cream. It's like a cheat code for tasty curry.

>> No. 4633 Anonymous
1st August 2010
Sunday 2:24 pm
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Look at this fucking thing, /nom/. Gaze upon it.

Fucking yum.

(It's five or six inches in diameter, in case the scale isn't obvious.)
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>> No. 13102 Anonymous
18th October 2019
Friday 10:01 pm
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I'm still alive and my arse is behaving. I am immune!

This must be what being a superhero feels like.
>> No. 13130 Anonymous
30th October 2019
Wednesday 7:21 pm
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Getting a bit late in the year but wish me luck chums.
>> No. 13131 Anonymous
30th October 2019
Wednesday 7:24 pm
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There are some good groups on the social network where you can post ones you're not sure about and they'll help ID them.
>> No. 13132 Anonymous
30th October 2019
Wednesday 7:40 pm
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What's a social network?
>> No. 13133 Anonymous
30th October 2019
Wednesday 7:41 pm
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They're going 24/7

>> No. 13064 Anonymous
14th August 2019
Wednesday 8:58 pm
13064 Unusual ingredient thread
I have a smoked garlic bulb from my local greengrocers' and would like some ideas of what to do with it. I know that only a carpet-bagger needs a quick response but I'd quite like to cook with it tonight if anyone has some immediate ideas.

I also thought this could be a good thread for when we find ourselves in possession of a random ingredient and need cheflad the userbase to give us some pointers.
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>> No. 13066 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 4:15 am
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Anything you'd normally put garlic in.
>> No. 13068 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 4:39 am
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If it's hot-smoked, use it anywhere you'd use roasted garlic.

If it's cold-smoked, there's a risk that cooking will dull the smoky notes, but it'll add an extra dimension to an aioli or mayo, and you'll probably get away with it in a tomato sauce for pasta. That said, worst case scenario is you kill the smoke and end up with the same taste as unsmoked garlic.
>> No. 13069 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 6:41 pm
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Spread it on crusty bread and eat raw?
>> No. 13070 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 7:15 pm
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Plant it and see if you can grow more smoked garlic and then start selling it back to the greengrocer.
>> No. 13071 Anonymous
16th August 2019
Friday 2:29 pm
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I think the greengrocers' didn't smoke it for long enough. It was clearly cold-smoked as it wasn't softened or browned on the inside, and after some gentle cooking the smoky aroma wasn't very noticable at all. In the end I made a sort of Japanese omelette (I think they call it tamagoyaki) with a little sesame oil and spring onion greens to go with a salmon dish of mine. It was very nice and all but I don't think the fact that the garlic was smoked did much.

Actual hot-smoked garlic like in my earlier pic does look delicious though, I'd love to have that on toast.

>> No. 12807 Anonymous
10th November 2018
Saturday 9:39 am
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What's the best method for making tomato sauce?

I usually slowly cook a few tins of plum tomatoes, but it doesn't quite taste as rich and strong as I'd like. Should I be adding in tomato puree?
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>> No. 12842 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 3:16 pm
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My ex girlfriend's cousin was the tramp that got his ear bitten by Alan Davies.
>> No. 12843 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 5:37 pm
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Happy to assist a fellow man of culture:


You can buy almost every REAL italian food from there. The "bulk deals" have a lot of excellent ingredients for a very low price.
>> No. 12844 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 6:40 pm
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Thank you very much, I didn't know about them.
>> No. 13055 Anonymous
3rd August 2019
Saturday 7:11 pm
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Today I've tried using red wine vinegar in my pasta sauce. I think it might be a bit of a game changer.
>> No. 13056 Anonymous
3rd August 2019
Saturday 8:52 pm
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As I said in >>12823 you need a bit of vinegar to make the tomatoes taste nicer. It's definitely a game changer.

>> No. 13040 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 10:43 am
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They finally invented the ultimate chip.
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>> No. 13041 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 11:37 am
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Are these the Iceland ones? They're full of onions.
>> No. 13042 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:15 pm
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Hash browns are supposed to contain onion.
They're not supposed to contain Maize Starch, though, the bastards. There's no need.
Gits. Nice idea otherwise, although if they look as manky as they do on the bag picture, no great loss.
Hash browns are a bit of a faff to make, but I cheat by using dried onion to soak up some of the water from the potato grating, and they come up nicely.
>> No. 13043 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:41 pm
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>There's no need.

Maize starch is a standard ingredient in battered and breaded products, because it improves crispness. They could take out the maize starch, but it'd make the product worse.
>> No. 13044 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:55 pm
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It comes and goes. Pea starch does much the same* and was evidently cheaper until last year, when Maize made a comeback. Hell, even potato starch makes for a nice crispiness, and they've used it in the product.
* except pea starch doesn't make my mouth blister and mean I'm shitting rusty water for a couple of days. Sage for whining. I'll get by without these lovelies, but I might get some dried onion in.
>> No. 13045 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:58 pm
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Also: These aren't battered or breaded products, where I'd expect to find the bastard stuff. They've snuck it in where it's of marginal benefit.
Unlike Merkin food, not _everything_ in this country gets a healthy dose of subsidised corn products.

>> No. 10692 Anonymous
14th July 2014
Monday 11:14 pm
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What's your favourite Ristorante pizza?

I usually go for the Mozzarella one, it's hard to beat those little flavour explosions of garlic butter. I would prefer the Funghi ones, the taste and the flavour of the mushrooms is magnificent for the price, but it's not stocked in many places.
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>> No. 10786 Anonymous
19th July 2014
Saturday 7:41 pm
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This looks delicious.
>> No. 10787 Anonymous
19th July 2014
Saturday 7:44 pm
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The I was going to make a clever post about how their sugar, as in actual glucose, is made out of corn but that hit a little too close to the truth and now I feel sad.
>> No. 10798 Anonymous
20th July 2014
Sunday 1:43 pm
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>"We planned to top the pizzas with actual garbage but by judging to our findings people will probably eat those too"

>"Dr Mores said he had initially had moral issues with conducting the tests on humans but has since come to see the subjects as 'cheese and sauce consuming beasts' "

>"In international news; the equivalent of 5 americans were killed in Afghanistan today"

At first I thought it was an advertisement for Dominoes until I noticed 'The Onion' logo. I'd forgotten about that site.
>> No. 12994 Anonymous
25th April 2019
Thursday 7:23 pm
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You either end up with undercooked pizza or burnt Quorn.
>> No. 12995 Anonymous
25th April 2019
Thursday 8:06 pm
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At least the "meat" on this isn't going to be a load of barbecue-flavoured floor sweepings with seams of Transglutaminase. That shit is enough to make a bloke go veggie.

>> No. 12981 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 8:19 pm
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Is there such a thing as a website or app that generates dish ideas based on ingredients that you enter?

Which is to say, you can tell it what you currently have in your kitchen and it'll pop out with a recommendation (and let you know what ingredients of yours will work as a facsimile, or cross out those that are non essential, etc.).

I've tried Supercook, but there's no 'fuzziness' there. Only strictly the ingredients you have.
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>> No. 12982 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:01 pm
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I want the same thing lad. Closest I've found is the 'Dinner Spinner' by allrecipes.com.
>> No. 12983 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:03 pm
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Oh. That I look closer, I think it is based on the same technology. Sorry.
>> No. 12984 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:06 pm
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http://myfridgefood.com/ is that but it's pretty americanised so might not be that useful to you.

It'd make a great app, but I'm not sure that exists.
>> No. 12985 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 3:31 pm
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All recipes lets you search with an ingredient search. I didn't have to use Dinner Spinner.

>> No. 12946 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 3:52 pm
12946 Shitty beans
Was the idea of having horrible surprise flavour jelly beans a thing before the Harry Potter books or did Rowling come up with the idea?
I'm not really old enough to remember.
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>> No. 12947 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 9:52 pm
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>"Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans" were inspired by the Harry Potter book series and featured intentionally gruesome flavors such as "Vomit", "Earwax", "Skunk Spray", and "Rotten Egg". A similar product dubbed "BeanBoozled" pairs lookalike "normal" flavors with weird flavors, such as "Peach" and "Barf".[26][27]

Apparently inspired by Harry Potter, today I learned, interesting. It's one of those sweets though where you feel generally grim after consumption of a whole pack because you can never have five.

>> No. 12948 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 10:34 pm
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There were always shit favoured jelly beans. The worst type of sweet, by far, was those red hot cinnamon ones. I've no idea why they were ever a thing.
>> No. 12949 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 10:47 pm
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It's probably because someone invented cinammon, then someone else lied to him for a laugh and pretend to like the taste, so of course he assumed a bean-based version of the same flavour would be welcomed.
>> No. 12950 Anonymous
14th January 2019
Monday 12:07 am
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Yanks fucking love cinnamon. No idea why.
>> No. 12951 Anonymous
14th January 2019
Monday 8:46 am
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>> No. 12900 Anonymous
1st January 2019
Tuesday 10:19 am
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In this thread I am going to rank various foodstuffs. You don't have to agree with my opinion, but then you'd be wrong.

I shall start with baked beans. The best baked beans are by Branston. The second best baked beans are Corale beans by Aldi.
37 posts and 9 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12941 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 8:27 pm
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When is the backlash going to start against all this sassy reply bullshit that comes out of corporate twitter accounts these days? You're Greggs for fucks sake, have some self-respect.

I wonder if we'll start seeing the vegan equivalent white van men. You'll be innocently walking to the shops and a couple of art hoes will start hurling sexual offers at you from their van and you can't tell them to go fuck themselves because what with being all monists it's what they're asking for in a roundabout way.
>> No. 12942 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 9:06 pm
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I can't even see their faces properly, but I 100% would. Any girl with a fringe like that has serious daddy issues.

Saging for casual misogyny.
>> No. 12943 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 9:10 pm
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That's not acceptable, lad. You know the misogyny dress code is smart-casual.
>> No. 12944 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 5:02 pm
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Asda crispy homestyle chips are very nice.
>> No. 12945 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 5:48 pm
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I find it very difficult to enjoy oven chips after a career of being able to pick at fresh chips straight out of a fryer. They're just not the same.

>> No. 12845 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 1:57 pm
12845 Espresso bollocks
My old man really likes that type of coffee.

I'm thinking about buying him a small semi-auto machine for a birthday gift. There's a wee problem here: I can't figure what exactly I should aim for. Advice on the Net differs: some say the bean quality and the grind uniformity are the things that matter the most, others state that one shouldn't even try to approach espresso without a machine on par with Gaggia Classic / Europiccola, not even mentioning a decent grinder.

Just how important is having a proper coffee hipsterenthusiast endorsed machine? I sense that their advice might be truthful per se but could it be something with diminishing returns compared to a mildly bog standard espresso maker?
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>> No. 12849 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 5:15 pm
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He might. He did all that jazz on his previous job. As far as I can judge it wasn't too much nuisance for him, perhaps even some sort of a rather pleasant ritual.
He has one, I think. It's a good little thing but the coffee it makes is of different kind, despite being brewed by pressure too.
>> No. 12850 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 7:38 pm
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The middle ground option would be a semi-automatic machine with a capsule-compatible portafilter. That gives you the choice between doing everything yourself, or just dropping in a capsule if you can't be arsed with grinding and tamping.

As regards the original question, I think that entry-level machines have improved greatly in recent years. Cheap fully-automatic capsule machines make a perfectly decent espresso, they just lack the level of control that hobbyists want.
>> No. 12851 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 9:23 pm
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>> No. 12858 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 10:08 am
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Instant? Please. Even the Polish method (or Israeli 'kafe bots', whatever the damn name is) yields better results.
>> No. 12899 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 4:04 pm
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Speaking of espresso, are there any decent materials about this magic? What I'm actually interested about is modern 'schools of preparation'.
That Italian Espresso Institute paper said 7 g of ground coffee per one serving. Americans seem to be stuffing at least 14 g, usually 18 to 21 g.

>> No. 12576 Anonymous
19th August 2018
Sunday 1:41 pm
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Is cultural appropriation even possible when it comes to cooking?
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>> No. 12894 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 8:02 pm
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Left is a goer, middle likes anal but only occasionally, right won't even give you a blowie unless it's your birthday.
>> No. 12895 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 8:13 pm
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Left looks like she'd be very loose and sloppy, with no firmness to her body whatsoever. She'd drive you up the wall with the inane things she frequently utters.

Middle looks like there's some hidden horror lurking beneath, like she's got a ridiculously hairy muff and it's all matted with discharge because she doesn't believe in washing.

Right is ice cold. She just lies there like a dead fish during sex.
>> No. 12896 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 8:55 pm
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Left has an undiagnosed learning disability and is quick to anger.
Middle is a skinny-fat bloke who grew a vagina to go with those sad tits.
Right has an eating disorder and cutting scars - like shagging a greyhound.

Trust me, I have shit taste in women.
>> No. 12897 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 11:17 pm
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>like shagging a greyhound

Is that good or bad?
>> No. 12898 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 11:35 pm
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Bad, since they are thin and not necessarily well cared for. A plumper dog from a loving family would be a much better shag.

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