In terms of health and fitness? You can't go far wrong with oats or eggs. Oats are quite nutrient dense, high in fibre and protein and will keep you feeling full. Eggs are very nutrient dense and high in protein.

For breakfast, I personally go with:
1) Porridge oats cooked in the microwave with half water, half milk, a chopped banana, ginger and honey
2) Dry oats mixed with cold yoghurt, chopped banana, frozen berries, whey protein powder
3) Two or three eggs, put in boiling water for about five minutes from the fridge so the yolks are still soft, and a couple of slices of toast
4) As a treat, a ham and cheese croissant done in the oven
5) For weekends where I have no plans other than to eat until midday, I'll make a bacon and egg fry-up or thin pancakes with grated cheese and ham

If all else fails or I'm pushed for time, a cup of coffee and a piece of fruit will get me by.

Coffee and a cig has served me well for the best part of the last decade. I started putting on a bit of tub when I switched the fags out for a vape though, so if you want to stay lean stick to the Marlboros, is all I'll say.

Lass I know is a nutritionist and swears by oats. Apparently you should do them with salt and if you want flavour, peanut butter is one of the most nutrient dense things you can have. (Proper peanut butter mind, not the stuff they put in Reeses cups.) She's also an anti-vaxxer and reckons dairy gives you depression, though, so I'm not sure how much of her expertise actually veers into quack territory.

Come to think of it I don't think I've ever met a food/health expert who didn't have at least one slightly mental belief to make you question the rest of their qualification.

>>15118

The problem with giving nutritional advice is the same as in public health generally, there's pitfalls in applying population level data to individuals. Biology is so complex and there are so many mechanisms at play that we use blunt statistical tools to say, "this seemed to work this way on average for most people", but of course that's only a first approximation and a lot more needs to be done for the person in front of you.

Another issue is that some people then people make the opposite error, and conclude that if something has adversely affected them and/or a select few cases, then it must not be good for anyone. For example, you have people that swear by meat only diets, when in reality they've probably unknowingly eliminated some allergen that bothers them but most other people can tolerate pretty well.

Understanding this is one of the key differences between being a good and bad practitioner (of anything related to health, dietician, physio, etc.), in my opinion.

I like those ones with "BOUDOIR" written on them.

I'm eating some cheese on "Rivercote" rosemary crackers from Lidl. They're pretty good.

>>15096

Not a biscuit m8.

>>15097
They're the same basic principle as Carr's water biscuits, ergo biscuits.

I like Party Rings a lot. I was never allowed them as a kid because they were full of e-numbers and sugar, but since I moved out of home I have them regularly. Also like pink wafers, golden Oreos, pink 'n' whites.

Mine are non-stick but I still use banking paper so I don't have to clean them. It's the best way.

It's scrubbing off the dried on crap that fucks them. Non-stick is a con on anything but saucepans honestly.

Non-stick coatings are made from a plastic called PTFE. It is almost completely inert below about 250°C and is widely used in medical devices and the chemicals industry for this reason - it just doesn't want to react with anything. Unfortunately it's also very soft and the non-stick properties mean that it's difficult to adhere it to metal.

It's totally harmless unless you massively overheat it, but it's also inherently fragile. Avoid using metal implements or scourers.

>>15058
Top points for a plumber or sparky that can tell us what PTFE stands for.

>>15059

It stands for Teflon m8

polytetrafluroethelene or summat innit

>>15060
Put The Fucker on Everything

>>14808

it's not bad, beef dripping with salt and pepper is better

Plain lard is a bit bland. Greaves lard can be very tasty though on bread. Lidl had some Bavarian-style greaves lard once, which was a real treat.

I have some beef suet. Tempted to make dumplings but folding it into flour is a lot of effort. Any chance of stewing it?

Surprisingly great for baking sweet goods in small batches. Adds a sort of weird umami-ness to it you wouldn't get from most of the overly homogenous butters or what have you.

Mucky dripping on white bread, it's like a beefy greasy Marmite.

>>14604
Going to uni isn't an achievement, you just give them 3 or 12 grand a year depending on what year it was when you were 18.

>>14605

I remember getting into a cuntoff with a lad in 2010 because I said that a Masters degree today was kind of equivalent to what a Bachelors was in the 90s and he was extra naffed off when the Professor agreed with me. I did a PhD and knowing what I know now I wouldn't have bothered going to Uni at all. It's a Cult, a Scam, or Finishing School for the better classes depending on your socioeconomic status and/or level of commitment.

If I somehow manage to defy the odds and become economically viable enough as a person in my 40s to have a family I'll be telling my kids to be hair dressers.

>>14605

>Going to uni isn't an achievement

It is for someone who grew up like I did. Being alive past 30 is also a significant milestone.

My Co-Op Jam Doughnuts have not just raspberry jam as is tradition, but also plum and apple. They can't keep getting away with it.

>>14885
Why are there not more purely apple doughnuts though?

Never heard of them before, but my local Asda has tins of Di Leo chopped tomatoes for 28p so I've stocked up. They must have tried to import shitloads from Italy when everything hit the fan earlier in the year because they also had loads of bronze cut spaghetti and 00 flour for 20p.

How do I make my pasta sauce taste like a tub of Dolmio stir in sauce? It needs to be more... flavoursome.

>>14867
Sugar, salt, pepper, white wine vinegar and a little dash of soy sauce. Using some nice dried mushrooms helps too.

>>14867

Depends. How far from scratch are you starting? Are you using chopped tomatoes and passata or starting from a whole fresh fruit?

The key generally is getting the amount of water right, which is a matter of reducing it down. Tomatoes are 99.9% water and 0.1% flavour. If you add in a good dollop of concentrated tomato puree it'll give you a lot of extra punch. After that it's all about seasoning, you shouldn't need more than some salt, pepper and a bit of basil, but just use your tastebuds. I like a dash of garlic infused olive oil in mine. Don't listen to any cunt who says sugar.

Don't be shy with the salt, either, don't be one of these fannies who thinks it's bad for you and that food should somehow miraculously taste good without it. Salt and fat are the vectors through which flavour travels, and that's just a scientific fact. If you've ever eaten at an Italian restaurant, you're basically paying an extra tenner for them to put twice the amount of salt in.

>>14867

MSG?

>>14858
Sick fuck, for me it's:
Marry scrambled egg because she's a healthy wife who'll look after me.
Have fried egg as my mistress because she's dirty and easy.
Kill poached because it's different.

Depends on how well they've been cooked. It's hard to fuck up scrambled eggs, but poached eggs are tricky but at the same time they're the best format for eggs. For me it's kill fried eggs, fuck scrambled, and marry poached.

>>14860

Honestly, you wouldn't want to marry poached eggs. She's a fussy bint. Very high maintenance.

What about boiled? Poor old boiled, I'll give you a hug love and also dip me soldier in.

I don't know if any of those options are either legal or possible. I guess you could fuck yourself with a hard boiled egg.

>>14788
But that's mostly chives.

Rosemary and roast potatoes would like a word.

>>14790
Rosemary is best embedded with garlic in camembert and nutmeg sprinkled on the top.

To make a thick pancake put more batter in the pan.

For the thick type just use self raising instead of plain flour. Milk, not water. Use a bit less liquid so it's thicker, you want it to sort of goop up in the middle of the pan.

My secret ingredient is to add a dash of vanilla extract. Doesn't do much but gives it that "something" people associate with a professional product and not just eggs with flour in.

Other than that it's just about what topping you put on. I'm a sweet tooth so I like a nice chocolate sauce. Couple spoons of cocoa powder and double cream heated up, job's a good 'un. I never saw the appeal of maple syrup, it's just shite golden syrup.

If you're making them for a woman and you want to look fancy and cultured, probably do strawberries and white chocolate or something daft like that. Not sure why but birds love that shit.

Easier to make French toast. Buy some brioche loaf, soak it in cream and cinnamon, fry it, then serve it and say 'oh I thought that was what you meant'.

>>14781
It'd probably be more apt to follow a recipe for drop scones.

>>14677
What's wrong with foil?

>>14678

Aluminium poisoning.

>>14679
I somehow doubt there is enough seepage for that to be a concern, even over the course of 40 years. I'd love to see the evidence on that one.

>>14677
Tin foil sandwichery aside, obvious choice seems to be an oven proof skillet with a plate over it.

>>14677
Normal cheese is not made for grilling, halloumi might work depending on whether your barbecue is coal fired or a gas affair and how well you control the temperature.

For your average coal fired barebecue, I'd avoid cheese as anything other than a last minute topping. If you're doing bread or most vegetables, sod the news and use tin foil but keep an eye on the heat. If the foil starts curling or discolouring it's too hot.

I think you could survive on a diet of gritty 80/90s New York milk.

>>14598
David Berkowitz did something similar in the seventies.

>>14598
What about 70s milk?

>>14597

>So what, really, is your goal?

Well, to become the best contract killer in the business, obviously.

>>14600

Maybe if you add red peppers and a mountain of cocaine.

>>14498

Eggs are a great high protein, nutrient dense food with plenty of good stuff in the yolk, and the whack of dietary cholesterol is fine or even beneficial so long as you have no pre-existing heath conditions. Don't be put off eating them every day, they're about as close to a multivitamin as we can get from a whole food.

If it were me, I'd rotate the bacon and cheese with other ingredients. Fats are more calorie dense per gram than protein or carbs (9 calories per gram, as opposed to 4). Theoretically you'd be fine eating this if you maintained your energy balance and didn't get fat, but bacon and cheese are so tasty I find it easy to overeat them.

If you are looking for lighter alternatives, plain old sliced ham will be less fatty and gets a nice texture in a pan. Turkey bacon is often suggested, but I don't know if that's available in the UK. There are probably loads of vegetarian substitutes at the supermarket. Instead of cheese, a bit of hot pepper sauce (like tabasco) gives the eggs flavour without adding anything, calorie wise.

Failing that, buy a bag of frozen veg, throw them in first, cover your pan with a lid and steam them for a bit. Then you can take the lid off, let the water steam out, throw the eggs on and scramble them around with a bit of garlic powder, salt, pepper, and spices to taste. You now have a well rounded meal, protein rich but far lower in calories, with plenty of filling fibre.

I'm a big fan of desserts as breakfast. Highly underrated. For example, A nice piece of apple pie with evap or cream is the perfect start to the day.

I'm partial to a shakshuka.

fruit and veg.

>>14506

Big fruit and veg still holding sway around here I see.

>>13529

How are you making your black garlic?

>>13530

Wrap it in clingfilm, wrap that in foil, bung it in a dehydrator on low for six weeks. Doing it in big batches is the only thing that makes sense else you're running a mostly empty machine. I don't know if I'd do it again.

Does fruit sugar count as carbhydrates, and will eating it interfere with this ketogenesis thing i keep hearing about?

>>13575
Yes.
Yes and no.

The sugar is fruit is bad but there's not a lot of it and the fibre in natural fruit slows digestion down, so a small amount of fruit does raise your blood sugar but less than a glass of orange juice for instance.

Fine, I'll be the one to say it: those nadorcott oranges from Morocco are a bit shit. You might like 'em if you're fond of clementine but I'm not that sort of guy and the combination of excessive pith and seeds frankly annoys me.

As someone who really likes oranges, I feel like I'm the true victim of Brexit. When I can elbow my way through the morons gawping at the fruit isle I might get some blood oranges but beyond that my choices are limited. Sure there are other fruits but non as versatile as an orange.

>>14297
I have a classic Weber (and also the portable/camping version) and absolutely love it; think it is coming up for twenty years old now.

>>14298

You certainly can't go wrong with a Weber. I inherited a gas one that has been going for a similar amount of time, even though me and my grandad managed to set the gas pipe on fire one time, a replacement valve was readily available. But gas BBQs are missing the point so that doesn't matter.

I really want a big green egg. From what I can tell they're worthy of the hype, but they'd better be for the price.

>>14299
I also really want a big green egg; last year Costco had a red copy of them for about half the price so I'm hoping that comes back this year.

>>14302
>Costco

Does this exist in the UK, now?

>>14303
Only for the past 20+ years or so.