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>> No. 10419 Anonymous
8th February 2014
Saturday 9:19 am
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Morning, lads.

I realise this is going to sound blasphemous, but I've never had a proper cup of tea in my life. I don't even think I've had a sip to try it. Apart from hot chocolate I rarely have warm beverages; I've tried coffee, which tastes to me like bitter mud and armpits, and someone at work made me a cup of pomegranate tea, but that tastes like a mix of perfume and the powder you get on Turkish delight.

However, I've had a fair few colds recently and I think I may be hooked on Beechams honey and lemon sachets. They're £2.50 for 10 sachets, so I thought I'd better wean myself off them and branch out into other hot drinks. What would you recommend for my first proper cuppa, bearing in mind that I'm evidently a bit of a fanny.
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>> No. 10420 Anonymous
8th February 2014
Saturday 9:27 am
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I think that Yorkshire is widely regarded as a prince among teas, although if you're a wuss don't let it stew for too too long - it will begin to taste a little tannic. From thereon I'd suggest you start black (in my opionion the only way to drink tea) and add milk, and then sugar, to taste. You probably won't want a lot of either, so don't be too gung-ho.
>> No. 10422 Anonymous
8th February 2014
Saturday 10:20 am
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>I realise this is going to sound blasphemous, but I've never had a proper cup of tea in my life.
How have you managed to avoid it?

Honestly, I'm just curious.
>> No. 10423 Anonymous
8th February 2014
Saturday 10:27 am
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Perhaps you could tell us about what sort of tastes you do like? The only thing I can recommend going off your post is maybe a malt-based drink like Horlicks.

If you're intent on trying tea you're probably going to have to expand your palate a little bit, otherwise you'll come back here saying they all just tasted of leaves.
>> No. 10424 Anonymous
8th February 2014
Saturday 12:56 pm
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You're not really missing out on something crucial - with tea, at least. With coffee I recommend trying a 1/2 coffee 1/2 hot milk mix, to negate the bitterness while retaining flavour. Don't add sugar. Coffee is quite useful as a drug whereas tea is mostly just recreational in my opinion.

Instant coffee is pretty poor, it's a decent substitute for the hardened addict but as a non-coffee drinker you'd hate it.

If you really want to get into tea I recommend Earl Grey with a smidgwn of milk. The taste is quite different compared to 'normal' tea, much more 'perky' if that makes sense. It's just a matter of trying stuff but don't force yourself to drink things you don't want to.
>> No. 10425 Anonymous
8th February 2014
Saturday 3:09 pm
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If OPs never had tea he's not going to want to start drinking it black. Also it's better to add tea to milk rather than the other way around as you seem to imply (i.e brew in a teapot for ~3 minutes then pour into a mug containing some milk). This is due to the relatively slower heating rate of the milk which doesn't denature it quite so much, meaning you get a fuller flavour and not just milky boiled water. Plus brewing in a tea-pot is obviously superior to in a mug due to it retaining heat longer.

Whilst I agree coffee is better if you just want the most caffeine, tea contains a lot more chemicals that react in synergy with caffeine (principally L-Theanine) and negate many of the downsides of caffeine such as over-stimulation. Caffeine's effects are largely down to your tolerance so if you're already used to drinking 5 cups of coffee a day you won't notice the caffeine hit from tea, however if you have a low to moderate tolerance then tea is a far better drink.
>> No. 10426 Anonymous
8th February 2014
Saturday 3:14 pm
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I'd recommend the obvious - an ordinary teabag, freshly boiled water, swish the bag around in the water for about 20 seconds with a teaspoon, add milk to taste. My preferred tea is the Co-Op's own brand, but all the major brands are perfectly satisfactory. The secret of a good cuppa IMO is to make the tea strong but add plenty of milk. Swishing the bag around the cup rather than leaving it to brew improves the flavour, by reducing the level of tannins relative to other flavours.
>> No. 10430 Anonymous
8th February 2014
Saturday 10:12 pm
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>>I've never had a proper cup of tea in my life

Yer need to come to tha place where whateva ya sup, tha tea, tha ale, whatever tha sup come to common sense Yorkshire.

Tha's allus a proper cup o tea for a stranger round ere lad, none o' that fancy Southern buggery round ere.

>> No. 10434 Anonymous
8th February 2014
Saturday 10:41 pm
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Milk in Earl Grey? I pity you.
>> No. 10435 Anonymous
8th February 2014
Saturday 10:48 pm
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It makes your teeth furry if you don't.
>> No. 10436 Anonymous
8th February 2014
Saturday 10:59 pm
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>>Milk in Earl Grey? I pity you.

Those words didn't work at Rorke's Drift. Look where that got them.
>> No. 10443 Anonymous
9th February 2014
Sunday 6:43 am
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Op ignore all this shitty advice. Goto your local greasy spoon and ask for a mug of tea, add sugar to taste. (you want to be a normal ladm8 right? then drink normal ladm8 tea)
>> No. 10444 Anonymous
9th February 2014
Sunday 6:46 am
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Oh to add to that, if you have accidentally walked into some posho weird place and they ask you what kind of tea (though this is unlikely) give her a look of disgust and say Darlin' do I look like some sort of posho wanker, just gimme a mug of tea!
>> No. 10445 Anonymous
9th February 2014
Sunday 9:11 am
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Yeh blud, pop duwn 2 tha loco cafer n sez 2 em, 'gimme a cuppa Twinnings or else brap brap brap'. Fukin T in noze tyme.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 10449 Anonymous
9th February 2014
Sunday 3:40 pm
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Sugar is only acceptable if you're a child, an invalid or a manual labourer.
>> No. 10462 Anonymous
9th February 2014
Sunday 4:59 pm
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... or anyone else that isn't a snob.
>> No. 10463 Anonymous
9th February 2014
Sunday 5:00 pm
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Shouldn't you be watching the football or something?
>> No. 10473 Anonymous
10th February 2014
Monday 2:44 am
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A tea thread on .gs and no one has registered their disgust at people fouling their herbal infusions with Bovine Lactose?

>> No. 10474 Anonymous
10th February 2014
Monday 3:22 am
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This entire forum is like a used teabag. I suggest you get your discussion based refreshment elsewhere.
>> No. 10478 Anonymous
10th February 2014
Monday 6:31 pm
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I did, in relation to Earl Grey. And I received no thanks for it.
>> No. 10479 Anonymous
10th February 2014
Monday 8:54 pm
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I tutted quietly. Nobody in their right mind adds milk to Earl Grey.

For a regular cuppa (PG Tips by choice) I go for a splash of milk. No sugar, I'm too elitist to do so, but would probably enjoy it more if I did. Anyone who takes sugar in their tea I think less of. I'm a bit of a cunt really.
>> No. 10511 Anonymous
26th February 2014
Wednesday 5:09 pm
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I find myself in a similar-ish boat; I've started drifting towards coffee, only until today I'd never bought any of my own, only drinking it when offered. I have, however, decided that the time has come to go out and buy some.
Not being a complete twat, I had thought that this would be fairly straightforward, so of course I swan into the supermarket, pick up the second-cheapest-per-unit-weight instant coffee and return home. I now find that the instructions say I should only add 100ml of water to 1 or 2 teaspoons of powder. Have I actually failed to buy regular coffee, what have I bought, do I want it, what do I want, and how can I recognise it?

And I thought it would be so simple...
>> No. 10512 Anonymous
26th February 2014
Wednesday 5:32 pm
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>would probably enjoy it more if I did

what an utter twat
>> No. 10513 Anonymous
26th February 2014
Wednesday 5:47 pm
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Yeah you bought instant coffee not regular coffee. Just put some in a cup with some hot water. I don't understand the issue.
It's really worth buying a higher quality instant coffee if you must insist on having instant. Instant is hardly coffee as it is, the cheap ones are foul.
>> No. 10514 Anonymous
26th February 2014
Wednesday 5:51 pm
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>Have I actually failed to buy regular coffee

In a word, yes. Instant coffee tastes worse and has lower caffeine content than properly ground and filtered coffee. If you're used to drinking coffee from a cafe then this will be the taste you want. If you're used to drinking coffee that people have made at home you may be used to instant because most people are lazy cunts.

Making proper coffee requires either a cafetiere (for long i.e. Americano style), moka pot (short i.e. espresso style) or some sort of machine that does the work for you.

You can buy ground coffee from the supermarkets (usually in bags rather than jars) though you'll obviously get better quality from specialist shops or some market stalls.
>> No. 10515 Anonymous
26th February 2014
Wednesday 6:40 pm
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I suppose the question is 'is instant coffee much of a muchness or have I picked up some other sort of instant coffee, because I was surprised that it recommended so little water. It occurs to me latterly that maybe people really do drink coffee 100ml at a time, in contrast to the scant half litre of tea which has until now been my habit.

Anyhow, on the basis of what you two have said I'll also look into the possibility of getting a cafetière or some such thing.
>> No. 10516 Anonymous
26th February 2014
Wednesday 6:56 pm
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Since visiting France, and having superior coffee to anything I have tasted in England, I can't look at tea the same way again. I am a coffee man. A superior French coffee man.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 10517 Anonymous
26th February 2014
Wednesday 7:01 pm
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I've never paid any attention to the recommended proportions of water-to-instant coffee in my life. Just add the grounds to a cup of freshly boiled (but not boiling) water until you like how it tastes.
Cafetières or some such thing make significantly better coffee but also cost more over time. If you're worried enough about money that you bought the second cheapest instant coffee it would make more sense to try out the better instant coffees before you go the whole hog and buy a barista kit.
>> No. 10518 Anonymous
26th February 2014
Wednesday 7:07 pm
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>> No. 10519 Anonymous
26th February 2014
Wednesday 9:50 pm
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A сafetière is a wise purchase. Simple thing, makes a good cup of coffee. I've never really got instant coffee because of this, only takes a few seconds more to make one with a French press.
>> No. 10522 Anonymous
4th March 2014
Tuesday 8:05 am
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Right pain in the arse to clean though.

Aeropress is the way to go if you want to be Serious about Coffee.
>> No. 10630 Anonymous
17th May 2014
Saturday 10:45 pm
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I had instant coffee today for the first time in ages and it was utterly fucking vile. If you drink it regularly you are an animal.
>> No. 10631 Anonymous
17th May 2014
Saturday 10:50 pm
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I'm a beast beyond your knowing.
>> No. 10632 Anonymous
18th May 2014
Sunday 1:07 am
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horrible shit. Proper coffee in the morning is just lovely, so much more flavour. I wish it was bigger in everyday life here in t'UK instead of instant.
>> No. 10633 Anonymous
18th May 2014
Sunday 1:58 am
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I'm pretty sure we're the only country where instant has such a huge share of the coffee market too. We're not even number one for tea consumption, the Turks way outdo us. Our national drink is instant fucking coffee.
>> No. 10634 Anonymous
18th May 2014
Sunday 2:10 am
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Instant coffee is even bigger in Korea.

I like instant coffee.
>> No. 10635 Anonymous
18th May 2014
Sunday 2:11 am
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I don't drink anything hot. I only drink water, cider, good quality shorts and the occasional can of fizzy pop. Hot drinks make no sense to me so I'll have mine as cold as possible please.

A huge advantage of this life choice is that caffeine is a very useful drug to me. Because I only use it once every few months it has a very powerful effect on me.

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