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>> No. 6953 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 7:25 pm
6953 spacer
In a shock move that absolutely nobody saw coming, corrupt tin-pot dictator Step Ladder has been re-elected president of FIFA. As a secret ballot, we won't know who voted for whom, but it seems reasonable to assume that most of UEFA voted for Prince Ali, an Arab royal who by some miracle appears not to have much in the way of blood on his hands.
Expand all images.
>> No. 6954 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 7:38 pm
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695469546954
Sepp did look rather tanned while addressing the audience earlier.
>> No. 6955 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 7:38 pm
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>>6953
I wonder how many football fans will reconsider whether they should continue to prop up this monstrously rich and powerful industry, which has zero accountability.
>> No. 6956 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 7:42 pm
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>Prince Ali

Every time I see his name I get this in my head.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3R5Lqkwg3g
>> No. 6957 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 7:43 pm
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>>6955
Almost certainly millions, but almost certainly most of them for all of about two minutes.
>> No. 6958 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 7:44 pm
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Don't worry, it'll only be a few more years until he has a stroke or a heart attack or a mysterious accident where he somehow steps into a bucket of concrete, drives a yacht into the middle of the sea and then falls overboard
>> No. 6959 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:01 pm
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>>6955
Who gives a shit outside media and political classes? The answer is nobody. They could host the world cup tomorrow in Gaza over the graves of Palestinian children bombed by the Israelis, and I, along with thousands, would still watch it.
>> No. 6960 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:03 pm
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>>6958
What is the difference between a heart attack and a stroke? I always thought they were the same thing.
>> No. 6961 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:07 pm
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>>6960
The difference is that one is in your heart and one of them isn't. Try and guess which one.
>> No. 6962 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:14 pm
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>>6959
>Who gives a shit outside media and political classes?

Well the price of going to football has rocketed up under Blatter. Aside from being a decent human being there are individual monetary concerns involved.
>> No. 6963 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:18 pm
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>>6962
It isn't that bad. I'll call for his head when it gets unbearable.
>> No. 6964 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:21 pm
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>>6962

I'm not sure that British fans have much influence in the modern game. Even if we all decided to ignore football completely, the Premiership would still have massive commercial value from the international broadcast rights. I think that reform can only come from the international political sphere, although grassroots opposition could help motivate that change.
>> No. 6965 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:23 pm
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>>6961
I asked a mate sitting next to me right now and he said that a stroke is a blood clot getting stuck in your brain.

Mate give it to me straight.

Mate give it to me atraight.
>> No. 6966 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:23 pm
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This is why everyone should stop buying Fifa games.

Two birds; one stone.
>> No. 6967 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:24 pm
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>>6964
So a top down change? Same shit as whatever is happening now?

Fuck off.
>> No. 6968 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:26 pm
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>>6965

Post your GCSE scores. No one could be this insulated, you must be simple.
>> No. 6969 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:40 pm
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>>6967
>Same shit as whatever is happening now?
No. What's happening now is no change. Twatter talked in his candidacy address about how he will take responsibility for the current crisis. Which is a bit strange, since as the prick who has presided over the whole sordid affair, the one thing that anyone who was actually taking responsibility should be doing is standing the fuck down. The man is out of touch, and his billions spent bribing national associations with "development programmes" are paying off nicely.
>> No. 6970 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 8:56 pm
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Surely, at some point, it's going to be undeniable that he is the root cause of all those massively illegal things Fifa keeps doing? There's only a membrane of pure nonsense separating him from the shit that just got busted in the US, right?

>>6965

Mmm, pear cider.
>> No. 6971 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:06 pm
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>>6968
BCDE. Why are you being a cunt for?
>> No. 6972 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:09 pm
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>>6970
>Surely, at some point, it's going to be undeniable that he is the root cause of all those massively illegal things Fifa keeps doing?
We don't know that. His predecessor João Havelange was found to have taken a fuckload of bungs while president, and continued to do so as "honorary president" after Blatter took over. It's difficult to say where the rot started.
>> No. 6973 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:10 pm
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>>6969
No change is better than whatever you have in mind. As it stands, the average football fan doesn't give a fuck.
>> No. 6974 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:14 pm
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>>6973
What's wrong with a top-down change? The way things are at the moment the cancer is so deep that top-down change is the only fix.
>> No. 6975 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:19 pm
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>>6974
Nothing will change. The only solution is to abolish FIFA completely and remodel how to do international athletics. From the Olympics to the World Cup, it's all rotton to the core.
>> No. 6976 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:31 pm
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>>6974
Nothing will change, and nobody gives any shit. Organisations like FIFA will always be corrupt.
>> No. 6977 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:37 pm
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>>6975
The IOC has got a lot better since Samaranch fucked off. Thomas Bach kicked arse in Sochi with some not-so-veiled attacks on the Russians during his opening and closing speeches.
>> No. 6978 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:38 pm
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>>6976

Sounds like EA/Fifa are shaking in their boots and that they post on .gs. I wonder how many people would play EA Soccer 2017 if Fifa was abolished or someone who wasn't corrupt took over and realised they didn't want to associate with a company like EA?
>> No. 6979 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:40 pm
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>>6978
If FIFA was abolished, EA would make even more money, because then they wouldn't have to pay fuckloads of money to FIFA for the licence.
>> No. 6980 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:48 pm
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>>6978
What? EA is worse than FIFA? What has EA done? I don't know why you think people will stop playing it if anything happens to FIFA.

FIFA and EA could enslave half the world, and the kind of people who buy the game every fucking year would still buy it.
>> No. 6981 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:51 pm
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>>6980
EA are a rotten company and twice holders of the golden poo. Not as large as FIFA though obviously.
>> No. 6982 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 9:58 pm
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>>6981
I get the feeling FIFA would be insulted if presented with a turd formed from something as base as mere gold.
>> No. 6983 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:00 pm
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>>6980

Mate, EA have literally worked people to death. The conditions they have people work under and the fear and intimidation they use to maintain the workforce and stop them from jumping ship is well documented. They are also the most corrupt games dev in history. They moneyhat, they aggressively pursue an agenda of appropriation and killing of the competition, they pay their staff peanuts and have been involved in some of the biggest likeness rights lawsuits in history.
>> No. 6984 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:08 pm
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>>6983
Maybe people shouldn't work there? Who is forcing them to "work to death?" This isn't fucking China.

Also, it is a money making business. How do you expect them to be fair and sportsman like? They have to be cut-throat and aggressive, Maybe if you moved out of your mum's middle-class house, and made a living for yourself, you would know how the world is.
>> No. 6985 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:09 pm
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>>6984

>Maybe if you moved out of your mum's middle-class house

So his mum isn't middle class, but her house is?
>> No. 6986 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:12 pm
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>>6985
Trust me, she's a right scrubber.
>> No. 6987 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:12 pm
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>>6985
Haven't you ever been to a middle-class house?
>> No. 6988 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:14 pm
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>>6985
It's horrendously middle-class. It doesn't have a porch, it has a vestibule. The bathroom even has a bidet. A bidet, I tell you.
>> No. 6989 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:16 pm
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>>6955
Fuck all football money goes to that which you talk of.
>> No. 6990 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:17 pm
6990 spacer
>>6955
Fuck all football money goes to that which you talk of.
>> No. 6991 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:19 pm
6991 spacer
>>6990
1. Where do you think it goes if not to the corrupt cunts?
2. Where do you think corrupt cunts get the money from?
>> No. 6992 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:19 pm
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>>6986
That kitchen floor won't clean itself.
>> No. 6993 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:24 pm
6993 spacer
>>6991

1. Why do you keep numbering sentences?
2. Stop doing it, you idiot.
>> No. 6996 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:45 pm
6996 spacer
>>6991
The money isn't fans, it's sponsors and marketing.
>> No. 6998 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 10:50 pm
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>>6996
And who are the target audiences of said sponsorship and marketing...?
>> No. 7000 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 11:09 pm
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>>6998
Fans. But the difference to then is nothing, they pay X pound and y% of that goes to the sponsor. The identity of that sponsor is pretty much irrelevant. Even Gazprom isn't the east Indian company.
>> No. 7001 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 11:10 pm
7001 spacer
>>7000
What does this post mean?
>> No. 7002 Anonymous
29th May 2015
Friday 11:13 pm
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>>7001
It means the target audience is practically irrelevant.
>> No. 7003 Anonymous
30th May 2015
Saturday 1:09 am
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>>6953
A lot of the representatives from Asian and Africa voted for Blatter. The whole thing has taken an east-west divide, which is a shame since now, nothing much can be done about corruption.
>> No. 7005 Anonymous
30th May 2015
Saturday 9:51 am
7005 spacer
I'm inclined to write to sponsors saying, I won't use their products if they continue to support Sepp Blatter.
>> No. 7006 Anonymous
30th May 2015
Saturday 11:05 am
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>>7005 nice 1 m8 wont no wot hit em.
>> No. 7007 Anonymous
30th May 2015
Saturday 4:16 pm
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>>7006
Don't you have a crisis to attend to Sepp?
>> No. 7008 Anonymous
30th May 2015
Saturday 4:31 pm
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700870087008
>>7007
Crisis? What crisis?
>> No. 7097 Anonymous
20th July 2015
Monday 11:01 pm
7097 spacer
He's a well shit comedian, but I'll give him this one.

https://i.imgur.com/NaEadSc.webm
>> No. 7098 Anonymous
20th July 2015
Monday 11:24 pm
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709870987098
>>7097
He did at least pick the perfect character from his show for it. The segment title is particularly apposite, don't you think?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGtU5hZkTzo

North Korea 2026 gets my vote. In an unrelated note, that €50,000 is just resting in my account, I assure you.
>> No. 7099 Anonymous
21st July 2015
Tuesday 12:25 am
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>>7098
Oh wow, I'd not seen the video (or, incidentally, ever watched Lee Nelson's Well Shit Show). Sepp is a legend. Are his security team mocking him or just asleep at the wheel? Observe how he had to order them to protect his image. Then he adopts this amusingly transparent feigned offence. And nobody can touch him.
>> No. 7100 Anonymous
21st July 2015
Tuesday 12:40 am
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>>7099
I particularly liked that after having to make up his mind whether to speak from the lectern or the chair, he then seemingly without a hint of irony says "we have to clean up here".
>> No. 7101 Anonymous
21st July 2015
Tuesday 6:37 am
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>>7098
>> No. 7102 Anonymous
21st July 2015
Tuesday 6:02 pm
7102 spacer
>>7100
>he then seemingly without a hint of irony says "we have to clean up here".

And don't forget the even more laughable comment "[gesture towards pile of money]This has nothing to do with football."
>> No. 7103 Anonymous
21st July 2015
Tuesday 8:14 pm
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>>7098
Fantastic video clip though. Lee Nelson is spot on with that.
>> No. 7104 Anonymous
21st July 2015
Tuesday 9:26 pm
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I have a real soft spot for Sepp. I will always be that one cunt who will forever support him.
>> No. 7105 Anonymous
21st July 2015
Tuesday 10:53 pm
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>>7104
You're not wrong Sepp.
>> No. 7108 Anonymous
28th July 2015
Tuesday 12:54 am
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710871087108
Sepp Blatter deserves a Nobel Prize.
— В. В. Пу́тин

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/33684831
>> No. 7121 Anonymous
16th August 2015
Sunday 2:16 pm
7121 spacer
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/33951764

"The 1400-word article asks: 'He [Platini] was one of Europe's most skilful players of all time. But is he great enough to be Fifa president? Anyone taking one look in the direction of Qatar can have only one answer: no.'
"Platini is the only member of Fifa's executive committee to admit voting for Qatar's controversial 2022 World Cup bid."
>> No. 7159 Anonymous
25th September 2015
Friday 9:32 pm
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They're coming for Sepp.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-34363289
>> No. 7167 Anonymous
2nd October 2015
Friday 11:03 pm
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34430729

>Fifa president Sepp Blatter will not resign despite sponsors Coca-Cola, Visa, Budweiser and McDonald's calling for him to step down immediately.

How very, very cheeky of him.
>> No. 7168 Anonymous
3rd October 2015
Saturday 12:25 am
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>>7167
Why do shitty sponsors think they can dictate who runs a private organisation?
>> No. 7169 Anonymous
3rd October 2015
Saturday 12:39 am
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>>7168

Their brands are intimately attached to Fifa's and they're using that leverage to affect change, because if they pull sponsorship Fifa will lose millions and the organisation will be further discredited. They are assuming Fifa don't want that and will probably get their way. Either that, or you'll see them all jumping ship and Sepp will become the Joffrey Baratheon of world football.

>"But I'm the KING!"
>> No. 7170 Anonymous
3rd October 2015
Saturday 12:50 am
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>>7168
Because they're the ones whose money Sepp has definitely absolutely positively not been misappropriating, honest guv.
>> No. 7171 Anonymous
3rd October 2015
Saturday 9:26 am
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>>7168
Because they fund them?
>> No. 7184 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 11:41 am
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Blatter, Valcke and Platini have been suspended by FIFA's ethics committee.

In other news, apparently FIFA has an ethics committee. Who knew?
>> No. 7185 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 7:04 pm
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>>7184
Only for 90 days, then they can come back again.
>> No. 7186 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 7:18 pm
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>>7185
Assuming whoever Seppi has been grooming as his successor doesn't step in to block it and take control themselves.
>> No. 7187 Anonymous
8th October 2015
Thursday 7:30 pm
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718771877187
What we need is someone incorruptible, someone who wont be used as a puppet. A true hero of football.
>> No. 7399 Anonymous
21st December 2015
Monday 7:47 pm
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Blatter and Platini banned for 8 years. Blatter says he's become a "punching ball". I guess this photo is him pointing out the scars he has to prove it. As expected, he's shown absolutely no fucking contrition whatsoever, going so far as to say that he may be banned from football, but until he's formally relieved of duty he's still president and isn't going to step down.

I'm surprised about Platini, though. He was speaking out against all this nonsense, while Warner, the South Americans and the Africans were all too busy defending Blatter's honour, as well as their own. Yet there he was taking what appears to be a rather substantial bung.
>> No. 7408 Anonymous
22nd December 2015
Tuesday 7:25 am
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>>7399

I liked his press conference; very Downfall.
>> No. 7409 Anonymous
23rd December 2015
Wednesday 2:12 am
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>>7399
The imperialist westerners took him down because he was allowing the world cup to be held in places such as Japan, South Africa, and Qatar. That is totally unacceptable.

The Americans were so pissed off that they started raiding offices half way across the world. No doubt this has all been planted to take down a benevolent, fair, and good natured human being.

You won't be forgotten Blatter.
>> No. 7410 Anonymous
23rd December 2015
Wednesday 2:19 am
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>>7409

I'm quite sure you're being silly, but you bring up something interesting. I wouldn't be surprised if Blatter doesn't think he's done anything wrong, because in a lot of these places bribery is the norm. I'm not saying that's right, or a status quo that should be backed up by the world's most powerful sporting body, but it is often the case.
>> No. 7411 Anonymous
23rd December 2015
Wednesday 2:37 am
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>>7410
I am being silly, but the funny thing is that I had this discussion with a few international students at my pub, and they all said the silly shite I just said. It is bizarre to me, but it was like he was their Mother Teresa. The Nigeria and Chinese lads were heading into /boo/ territory with what they were saying, and they almost convinced me. The Indians were talking about how much more popular he made football in india because of all the extra funding he gave their FA (I don't know if it is true since I never checked it), and finally they all agreed that there was a good chance that the World Cup wouldn't have been held in Japan, South Africa, and Qatar, and that this was bad since Fifa would have only been dominated by UEFA and CONMEBOL members.

To be fair to them, until this century, the world cup hosts used to alternate between Europe and South America only. That happened until Blatter came along. The voting system now doesn't seem all that fair. Perhaps a system of holding it in a different continent every four years would be better. Some sort of fixed alternation. Maybe have them vote within the continental governing body to decide who hosts it, or maybe have a couple (or few) nations within a continent host it and spread the costs between them.

In any event, I feel that Blatter is really well liked (even loved) outside of the western world's bubble.
>> No. 7412 Anonymous
23rd December 2015
Wednesday 3:33 am
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>>7411
He's well loved outside the traditional spheres for the same reason sweatshops are loved. In places like the Phillipines, people are thankful for those factories that employ children because by local standards the pay is reasonable and the working conditions are better than having them begging on the streets.

The other thing to remember is that Blatter didn't start anything. His predecessor turned out to be bent as fuck, so the real question is whether Blatter always had those corrupt tendencies or whether he was groomed by Havelange. It may be that he doesn't see anything wrong because for the last 30-40 years he hasn't known any different.
>> No. 7413 Anonymous
23rd December 2015
Wednesday 3:50 am
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>>7410
He's Swiss, not Nigerian.

Actually, he's Swiss.
>> No. 7414 Anonymous
23rd December 2015
Wednesday 3:51 am
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>>7411
FIFA operates on one country one vote. Africa and Asia almost always dominate as there's simply so many.

Don't pretend CONMEBOL is rolling in cash either. They had a better hit rate at voting against Blatter than UEFA did.
>> No. 7415 Anonymous
23rd December 2015
Wednesday 4:02 am
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>>7414
Does that mean bribes are necessary to make sure that the world cup doesn't always end up in Asia and Africa?
>> No. 7416 Anonymous
23rd December 2015
Wednesday 4:02 am
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>>7413
The Swiss are bigger crooks than the Nigerians.
>> No. 7417 Anonymous
23rd December 2015
Wednesday 4:24 am
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>>7414
>Don't pretend CONMEBOL is rolling in cash either. They had a better hit rate at voting against Blatter than UEFA did.
Source? Last I heard they all love him because he effectively keeps them in cushy jobs that allow them to siphon money like nobody's business. Most of them are themselves implicated, and around half have links to organised crime.
>> No. 7418 Anonymous
23rd December 2015
Wednesday 11:31 am
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>>7417

This.

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