The winner of Group D faces the runner-up of Group F in the first knockout round. The runner-up of Group D faces the runner-up of Group E.

>England have such an abundance of riches that Southgate has had to delay naming his provisional squad.
Folk keep saying this as though no other European side is in the same boat.

Nice to see Macedon there too, didn't know they'd qualified.

>>9150
>Folk keep saying this as though no other European side is in the same boat.

Apart from France, Germany and Belgium there's nobody I'm overly concerned by. The Spanish squad is surprisingly weak and doesn't include a single Real player.

>Nice to see Macedon there too, didn't know they'd qualified.

Pandev banged in the winner for them in the play-offs. He'll be 38 in July.

The atmosphere when we're doing alright is fantastic, you see a lot of camaraderie and people seem a lot happier/drunker. I just want to see what it's like when we actually win.

>>9152
Also, wife beating goes up by 28% if they win, and 35% if they lose.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0022427813494843

So we could reduce domestic violence by around a third by banning football?

>>9154
But then it would go up even more.

There's a pleasing lack of Eric Dier here.

Not sure which seven will be cut, but I'm surprised Bamford didn't make the provisional squad. I also expected Konsa to make it, particularly as he's been playing alongside Mings on defence all season, and Tomori has done well for Milan since joining in January.

>>9156
>Trashford
>Benderson
>Mongs
>Bakayaro Saka

A lot of chaff really but at least Madison isn't on there. I'd be interested to see how Grealish handles international footy.

>>9157
Maddison hasn't really regained fitness after getting injured earlier in the year, plus I think Southgate doesn't like him.

Southgate also seems reluctant to use Grealish. I expect he'll be used as understudy to Foden.

Four right-backs, no JLingz.

>>9159
Only five of those are people I have never heard of, and two of those are the goalies. It's coming home, lads.

I got a great big smile on my face seeing a crowd in the stadium in the Turkey v Italy game just now.

If there's one thing you can be certain of whatever is happening in the world, it's that England will do shit in the football. Not properly shit like we're really bad at it, where it's endearing to see us try and cheer us on to an unlikely quarter final; just shit shit, a team who are capable of winning but simply can't be arsed.

Are you lot seriously deluding yourselves that England won't be completely, predictably, true to form, shit?

>>9183
It's coming home.

>>9184

Bet you a tenner it int.

>>9184
... on its way across the border. Scotland will give you an upset and Wales will pull a shock victory over Italy on their way to the trophy.

>>9185
I'm no thief, you keep your money.

>>9183
I was expecting England to reach the semi-finals and then get spanked by a much better team. After filling in likely outcomes for the matches, I think quarter-finals are more likely. How depressingly predictable if we return to our traditional quarter-final losses every tournament.

Another prediction I made is that England need to lose an early group game, to remind them that they do need to fight to win matches. England are always cursed with complacency, like the match is a victory lap before they are handed the trophy they've already won. They never seem to be aware that they actually need to try to win. This is a terrible curse for the English national team, of course, but it does raise a new Best Possible Scenario: what if Scotland beat England in the group stages, for the official funniest result ever, and then that spurs England on to win the whole tournament? Just imagine that.

>>9188

... No, no I don't think it's worth it. You know what the Scots are like. They'll be saying we stole their trophy for the next twenty years.

>>9189
Scotland beat the world cup winning England side in '67 and still cast it up for banter. It was a pretty good game, that Scotland side was arguably better than ours at the time regardless of us being reigning World Champions.

That's not the case this time. If they beat us, it'll be because they upped their game and we underestimated them and it'll be acknowledged as that, outside of a bit of bragging rights of "we beat the Euro Champs".

Wales were shite.

Severe emotional rollercoaster: Christian Eriksen collapsed on the pitch during Denmark-Finland, and the only question since then has been whether it will be another Marc-Vivien Foe (who died on the pitch) or another Fabrice Muamba (who survived).

Latest news is that it's looking like more of a Muamba situation (this picture shows him awake after his collapse), and that's still horrific but it's really the best anyone could have hoped for.

There's not many people flying England flags this year.

Haha, yes, man!

Football status:

[ ] Not coming home.
[x] Coming home.

The best thing about yesterday was the complete lack of the England band.

I wouldn't have expected an Austrian to get up to racist shenanigans.

>>9196
Do they even do a song? It seems like they do the same few notes over and over for ninety minutes. I'll be honest I don't hate them all that much, but they could earn themselves a lot of goodwill by learning how to play music, like a lot of bands really.

>>9198
They play about three notes from September by Earth, Wind & Fire.

The Scottish anthem is so much better than the English one.

>>9200
Hearing my own death rattle would be better than England's national anthem.

It's not even about the nation, it's just about the Queen. Does it change when there's a King to be about him instead? I just looked up the Italian, German, French and Spanish national anthems and they all have better lyrics than ours.

>>9202
>Does it change when there's a King to be about him instead?
Apparently so. It even gets personalised with their name. That's pathetic.

>>9193
Politicians bought them all. Ironically, they did so to resemble the rest of us.

Grealish would have an absolute field day against that Scottish defence. I'm surprised they didn't work out that repeatedly crossing the ball into a box with seven Czech defenders who are all about half a foot taller than your attackers wasn't going to work.

>>9202

>Spanish national anthem

The Spanish national anthem doesn't have any official lyrics. They got rid of the old fascist lyrics when Franco was deposed, but they didn't get around to writing any new lyrics.

You can make your own joke about the Spanish work ethic.

>>9206
>The Spanish national anthem doesn't have any official lyrics

I know.

>>9206
According to the BBC's "How to Invent a Country" it's got no lyrics because all the various regions of Spain couldn't agree to any, on account of all the inter-regional rivalry. Well, that's what Misha Glenny said anyway.

I just saw the video of Ronaldo moving the Coke Cola bottles and I like him again now.

Has a footballer ever gone to ground and cupped their face with both hands and actually been wounded?

>>9210

Christian Eriken, Marc-Vivien Foe and Fabrice Muamba.

TSUUU!

France are scary as fuck. It's going to take something special to get the beating of them.

>>9213
Well, they are the tournament favourites. But if they're anything like my Euro 2021 fantasy football team, and they very much are, you can really screw them up by disallowing two of their goals for offside even though the rest of my team has done absolutely bugger all so far.

>>9214
Not to mention being denied a clear penalty. What a burst of pace from Mbappé.

>>9213
They seemed to be going at about 75% too, which is probably just how Deschamps wants them to play this early on. Germany are a bit rough around the edges and France only won with an OG, but that Mbappe fella' is someone I don't wan to see in a foot race with a not-quite-fit Harry Maguire towards the England goal any time soon.

Fucking Keown, Jesus Christ. I'd rather have that photo of a shite OtherLad posted on co-commentary.

>>9217
I like Keown.

>>9218
Shut up, Keown.

Between this TV show and the recent purchase of Wrexham FC, why are American celebrities taking this interest in football? What's going on?

>>9220

Taking an interest in football is a liberal status symbol over there. When COVID stops you from filling your Insta with holiday snaps and exotic restaurant meals, getting into a foreign sport is a useful way of showing that you're cosmopolitan.

I unironically like this shirt, even though it's fucking Ladbaby.

https://www.inthestyle.com/ladbaby-euros-white-three-lions-unisex-t-shirt


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPs706EQEN0

>>9222
Never heard of him. Now it turns out he's been Christmas number one for 3 years in a row? Fucking hell, what's become of us?

>>9222
Why? It looks like they took fifteen minutes to design the lot. I'm almost a bit offended by how lazy the designs are and I'm not even buying one.

>>9223
I think that's a bit like being a "New York Times bestseller" since they started counting streams, if that makes you feel any better.

>>9222

I'm going to start calling the Greek one South Macedonia.

>>9226
It seems like a funny thing for the Greeks to get their knickers in a twist about.

Whenever someone says Macedonia, I hear them, but my mind can't help but think of Montenegro instead. I cannot wrap my head around the notion that they are two separate places. Please don't let the maniacs in the dolphin rape thread find out about me.

>>9226
Agreed, the whole world needs to start doing this. Fair's fair.

Lukaku, man, what the Hell. It's like having two players for the price of one with him on the pitch.

>>9230
I maintain that Belgium will make a deep run in the Euros purely on the back of Lukaku being on an absolute mission. He's been in the press a few times the last season or two frustrated that he's one of the best strikers in the world, and doesn't get the recognition he deserves.

>>9231
They'd face Italy in the quarter-finals if they both top their groups. I'd expect Italy to edge it as the Belgian defence is a little shaky.

Just fucking start Grealish.

I am ambivalent about Grealish.

Alright, maybe we should have started Grealish instead of Mount.

>>9236
I'd have him on for Sterling. Him and Kane have offered pretty much fuck all so far in the tournament, but it'll get overlooked because of Sterling managing to bundle the ball in against Croatia.

It's half-time in England vs Scotland, and it's 0-0, which I thought might happen. I am therefore confident in my other predictions, that if Scotland score first in the second half, this will be an all-time great match, but if England score first, it will just be a rout and end 3-0 or 4-0. I've been right so far, so feel free to trust me completely.

The first goal will be around the 50th minute too, by the way.

I'm currently feeling justified in not watching it, having been thoroughly bored and/or disappointed by the vast majority of previous England games I've watched. Now I've said that I'll no doubt miss a great ending.

Why are England also so... turgid? Bloody Hell. Whatever, that's a point.

>>9238
Got this week's lottery numbers? Don't bother.

Well, that was shit. Scotland were the more dangerous team so it's a good job they don't have anyone who can actually finish.

>>9240
>Why are England also so... turgid?

Southgate.

>>9239
The first half was thrilling. At half-time, England realised that they don't want to win the group and Scotland decided a point was worth it, and they just gave up. Even the allegedly godlike Jack Grealish couldn't kickstart any excitement, and in the end we all just witnessed the 4D chess of Gareth Southgate putting a stop to traditional English complacency.

>>9241
Perhaps you're right about Southgate. Sterling has been doing the same mediocre runs for England since the days of Edward the Confessor and I don't understand why he wasn't taken off in and Foden was, so weird.

SCOTLAND WIN 0-0

Congrats to Scotland on the 0-0 victory against evil England!

>>9243
Sterling has played the full 90 minutes in both matches despite the fact he's had a relatively poor season and today he specialised in slowing down attacks or dribbling into traffic. It's not like we don't have alternatives in this area; Jadon Sancho hasn't even played a single minute.

He keeps starting Kane and then replacing him with Rashford and they've offered pretty much fuck all because they're quite clearly jaded after a long season. Calvert-Lewin deserves a chance. He could at the very least hold the ball up and be a focal point for attacks.

He started two defensive midfielders against Scotland, fucking Scotland, when they're more than happy to sit back. Someone like Bellingham should have been on the field.

It's fucking anti-football.

https://twitter.com/stewartloveNFL/status/1406208446865850371

Did anyone see that ludicrous display last night?

Is football always this boring? I feel like everyone was being way too conservative and defensive. Even in bonus time, they should have just gone for it instead of passing backwards and forwards, fortune favours the bold and all that.

>>9249
Seen the Portugal v Germany match yet then?

What is it with all these national teams that have experienced Marxist utopia not taking the knee? You'd think they would encourage it.

>>9251
Identity politics is a bourgeois diversion from the class struggle. Having abolished the bourgeoisie, there is nobody to talk about kneeling. Whether or not there is police brutality, I cannot say, because I am [strikethrough]white[/strikethrough] bourgeois.

>>9252
Fuck. Also, not knowing the BBCode for doing a line through a word is not a crime, otherwise I'd have been gunned down long ago.

>>9253

Shame on you. You should have consulted the funky gibbon. It knows all.

>>9251
Not every country out there wants to ape America. If we look at domestic football then Wilfried Zaha has said he finds taking the knee and wearing BLM branded t-shirts degrading; he would rather stand tall. Similarly, Bournemouth stopped taking the knee because they felt the gesture had run its course and feel it's more symbolic to stand together. QPR stopped doing it because they felt the purpose of doing so had been diluted, with it being as hollow as jumping on the latest feel-good trend whilst UEFA/FIFA aren't doing enough to tackle incidents of dolphin rape so they'd rather focus on their own local community initiatives.

Could you FUCK OFF out of the football thread before I stab you through the fucking eyes, you massive fucking cunts. Is the rest of the site not enough room, you gibbering shit-for-brains? Fucking hell.

>>9256
If you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem.

>>9257
The solution is killing these fuckwits, cutting them open and posting their organs one by one in little sandwich bags to their grieving mothers.

>>9257
What if he is part of the solution overall, he's just a bit fucked off with being told otherwise?

I'm reasonably certain the England team are as committed to The Cause of BLM or whatever it even is now, every bit as much as their believe Nike are the best trainers and need their brand highlighted on the world stage.

I really don't think it's worth getting pissy over, because football is the most commercial sport going. Supporting the latest trendy thing is good marketing. Same for any number of the companies who put their rainbow picture on Twitter for pride month and all that, it's all hollow branding.

Incidentally that's what tells you the socially-lefty worldview is actually the majority in the West, nowadays. If companies are branding to market towards it, that means it's the biggest market. We won. The revolution already succeeded, and it's time we moved on to the pressing issue: Wealth.

How much does a player like Marcus Rashford make in a year these days anyway? I'll answer that for you, it's ten million pounds a year. Ten million, a million tens. £10,000,000.

>>9260
>Incidentally that's what tells you the socially-lefty worldview is actually the majority in the West, nowadays.

That's an odd way of saying it appeals to middle class white people.

>>9261

The demographic that makes up the make up the majority westerners, yes.

>>9255
I sympathise, but I'm pretty sure that's not why people are booing it and complaining about it.

>>9260
Or they naivly think that twitter is reflective of the majority.

>>9263
Has anyone actually asked?

If only we had a UK wide national team, we could have Kane and Bale up top and not score for a hundred years.

Not a bad result for Wales. The runner-up of Group B (Finland, Russia or Denmark) in the round of 16 followed by most likely the Netherlands in the quarters.

As I have been saying since the build-up to the tournament, Jack Grealish has to start. One thing we have seen, watching him and Raheem Sterling in the two opening games, is how differently England and Manchester City play, and how difficult that makes it for Phil Foden especially to adapt.

City play in the final third. They keep possession there. And Foden is not a dribbler but a player who plays nice little passes and moves into good positions. At City, the movement of players around him enables it. You will see Kevin De Bruyne making a run into the inside channel, Kyle Walker running on Foden’s outside and Bernardo Silva and Riyad Mahrez making movements infield, and it all happening at speed.

City will play quick five-yard passes before a little movement — not a big one — will free Foden up and he has licence to go into the spaces and play as a No 9, at times, or No 10 at others. Whereas with England he is a bit isolated out wide and when he receives the ball, the possession is slow and there is little happening around him. That means he then has to dribble — and if you are playing in such a way that, from your wide players, dribbling is what is required then why not play Grealish and Jadon Sancho, two of the best at doing it.

Against Scotland, I watched Foden getting the ball, playing it to Reece James, not getting it back and nothing really happening. The ball would then go to the centre backs and out to the other side and the tempo was slow. I thought this might happen. I was saying before the tournament that we have to calm down on Foden hype because even though he is an unbelievable talent, you cannot expect young players to come and tear tournaments up. I love Foden as a footballer but you have to realise that, for four years and more, he has been moulded into a City player. Pep Guardiola did not let him go on loan, or experience a different style of football — his whole adult career has been spent playing the Guardiola/City way. It is hard for him to turn up and just change how he has been playing since the age of 16.

Grealish commits defenders. You saw it in glimpses yesterday. What that game showed is that when you are against a side who are playing well defensively, in a good shape and hard to break down, you need players to commit the full backs. It makes a massive difference, opening up gaps where other players can come in and play.

The Czechs are similar in style to Scotland, even if they have a different formation, and I would use Sancho against them too. I would also play Dominic Calvert-Lewin up front with Harry Kane. Why? Well, in both games Harry has been isolated — especially against Scotland where he had to play against three centre halves, which is always very difficult for a single striker. Calvert-Lewin could make a difference. He can run channels, occupy the centre backs, win headers and bring the crossing ability of someone like James into play. He could do for England what Olivier Giroud does for France, offering that different option. Kane could play more in the No 10 role he has started occupying for Spurs.

I have spoken about the need for him, for England, to stay high up, play within the width of the goal and be a No 9 but instead he has dropped deep — especially against Croatia. If that is the way Harry is going to play, you might as well play with a No 9 and free Harry to be in the role he now seems to prefer. Adapt the team to him. You certainly do not drop him — he has to play. It will be obvious to everyone that he has not had the best two games but he is England’s most natural goalscorer by far, so he has to be on the pitch. He just needs better service and to be more connected to the rest of the team. Another change we need is for Jordan Pickford to speed his distribution up. He is taking far too long at goal kicks, keeping England’s tempo slow and giving the opposition time to get back in shape.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/phil-foden-is-moulded-as-a-manchester-city-player-that-doesnt-help-england-ds00kh83d

Rooney's Euros column in The Times. Can't really argue with that.

>>9268
Articles like this get in the player's heads. It happened at the 2010 World Cup, where the players completely turned on the manager, because they agreed with pundits that X should be starting over Y.

John Terry did a fucking press conference about it. It was mental. Ultimately, Rooney isn't there and isn't watching them train.

>>9269
Southgate has said that Sancho isn't playing because he isn't experienced enough at that level. The same Sancho that has played in the Champions League for the past three seasons with Dortmund and scored twice in the German Cup final last month.

Gareth Southgate's managerial pedigree is getting relegated with Middlesbrough after blowing shitloads on flops like Afonso Alves, finishing bottom of the group at the 2015 European Under 21 Championship and then beating the likes of Tunisia and Panama at the World Cup.

Southgate had England playing fearless football early on his tenure but he's now completely shat the bed.

We all said Gareth Southgate was a fool for playing Declan Rice and Kalvin Phillips against Croatia, and that we would be obliterated, and then we weren't. Gareth Southgate knew something we didn't. Punditry and online commentary has been exposed as a bunch of mugs with no idea what they're talking about. I trust Gareth Southgate (for now, at least. I would never post this opinion with my real name attached).

>>9271
I'm holding out judgement as we've only played 2 games but tbh we looked like absolute dogshit in those 2 games.

>>9271
People were basing their opinion on Croatia off reaching the World Cup final. A number of key players in that squad have retired and Modric is almost 36.

If you look at their results over the past couple of years then they've lost to Hungary, Tunisia, Portugal, France, Sweden, Slovenia and Belgium and have drawn with teams like Armenia, Azerbaijan and Wales. They're at risk of being the biggest flops at the tournament after Turkey.

>>9271
I never said that. I said Sterling is too one note and Kane needs to stop coming so deep. I am right.

Sorry lads, can't hear you over the sound of qualifying for the knockout stage already.

>>9275
England have four points so yesterday's results means they're going through as one of the best third-placed teams as a minimum.

>>9275
Yeah, but he didn't help much, did he?

>>9277
Except he assisted in both goals against Turkey, even if he skyed the penalty.

Alright, point made, Mr Sterling.

>>9278
Oh, I see. He did fluff that volley too.

Start Grealish, you fucking see what happen s.

What happens if Scotland win and England lose?

Apart from the tears, obviously.

>>9281
The only way England could finish third is on goal difference if Scotland beat Croatia. Scotland can't finish ahead of the Czechs because of their head-to-head record. The only way the Czechs can finish third is on goal difference if Croatia hammer Scotland. Croatia can't finish above England due to the head-to-head.

RASHFORD INSTEAD OF SANCHO, FUCKING HELL.

I wish our home fans would cheer every touch the way the Danish fans did. Obviously there's a lot of emotion around that side right now, but it'd be still be nice if our were less sour.

>>9283
You know what happens when England fans get too supportive, though. They sing about World War II and it's faintly depressing because we haven't had anything else to sing about for 50 years.

Also, Grealish is just a pleb Saka. Bukayo Saka was the real mastermind tonight. Popping up all over the pitch, giving pundits something to discuss so they never had to accept how disastrously out of form Harry Kane has been.

>>9284
When you think about it, the only war we've won since then was the Falklands, and there's not really much point in going on about that to a bunch of European opponents. Maybe we could stir up a conflict with Liechtenstein or something just to get another notch in the belt.

>>9286
I'm not giving Gary Lineker another penny. His crisp fortune should be enough.

The problem with Spain is that with Morata up from they've no chance of scoring goals.

What do I want more, England to face Hungary in the knockout stage or Germany to go out in the group stage?

The winner of England vs. Germany should make it through to the final.

>>9285
>>9284
I'm sure our American cousins can lend their support if that's what you want

We need a loud footballer. These ones are too quiet.

I'm surprised the Netherlands made it as far as they did under De Boer. He's clueless.

It's exactly like I told you isn't it lads. Quarter finals and done.

We're the footy equivalent of a bloke who loses it and spaffs his load as soon as the bird starts to say she's getting close.

>>9295
If we go out in the quarters after beating Germany I'd take that.

>>9295
>We're the footy equivalent of a bloke who loses it and spaffs his load as soon as the bird starts to say she's getting close.

This is my favourite ever analogy about England football team and its supporters. Well done.

>>9295
This sounds bad and it is. However, it wasn't so many years ago we'd get our foot caught in our trouser leg trying take them off, start hopping around uncontrollably and prat fall forehead first into the corner of the sideboard, waking up half an hour later to a text asking us never to make contact again, so it's progress, of a sort.

>>9298
Bit of a step down from driving the entire world to climax with a good old stiff upper rogering.

>>9299
Now you're conflating imperial prestige with footballing prowess. Empire was all but finito in '66 and the founders of the greatest empire the world's seen, the Romans, all wore sandles so they would've been appalling over ninety minutes.

Would pollinate.

So France are out on penalties. I don't think there is a single team left that has played well in all their matches. Belgium and Italy are probably the most likely winners in my opinion, but they face each other in the next round. Spain and Germany are picking up, but they were pretty crap earlier in the tournament. I guess it's time to all cross our fingers for Ukraine to take it home.

>>9302
Deschamps wasn't able to stop them staying up late watching Netflix and playing video games.

https://www.getfootballnewsfrance.com/2021/the-french-national-team-isnt-sleeping-well-didier-deschamps-is-concerned-about-it/

If De Bruyne is injured, it's likely he won't be the only one after Portugal spent most of their match kicking lumps out of them, then I'd expect Italy to beat them.

The stars are aligning. Football is coming home.

I honestly hope we get stuffed this afternoon - we deserve it. The country will be fucking unbearable if we get through.

>>9304
Nah, it'd be far funnier if we hammer the Germans but then lose to the winner of Sweden v. Ukraine in the next round.

>>9305
Losing to Ukraine is a good shout and would upset everyone.

>>9304
I don't want England to lose to Germany, because damn it, it's just so predictable. Losing in the quarter-finals is predictable too, but at least it gives up a bit longer to believe it's coming home. A semifinal is acceptable, and a final loss, losing in the final, would be frankly delicious.

I've got a bad feeling about this, Scoob.

The directors really need to stop cutting to the attractive women in the crowds because I don't have the emotional fortitude to handle that right now.

How knackered are Kane's ankles? He doesn't appear terribly mobile.

>>9310
He's fucked but he's undroppable. England are looking distinctly second-best so far.

>>9311
Not really, England are just a slow team by design. It's 50/50 at least in this match so far.

>>9312
Unfortunately, a 50/50 game means potential penalties, and England handle penalties about as well as Labour handle general elections.

>>9310
If this was his chance to justify a £100m transfer from Spurs, then he's fucked it.

Sterling's not very good. Every time I go to say this he does something like scoring our only goals at the tournament, but it's true, he's got a very clear ceiling and he hits it regularly in the England system.

>>9315
He's very good at running into traffic.

Those lads in the crowd looked like they were going to jizz themselves over Grealish coming on.

>>9315
>Every time I go to say this he does something like scoring our only goals at the tournament

Do it again.

It was a tap in. Rashford could have do it too.

>>9317
Done.

FOOTBALL STATUS:

[ ] NOT COMING HOME
[X] COMING HOME

>>9320
FOOTBALL STATUS:

[ ] LEAVE TO REMAIN
[X] PENDING DEPORTATION

Wow what the fuck. I almost wish I'd been watching but I forgot. Justr beating Germany is unprecedented in my lifetime.

... Wait shit, I had Germany in the sweepstakes.

Scheiß.

>>9323
> Scheiß!
Scheiße!

>>9322
You missed one of the most blatant fouls in football:

>>9325
I know it was the title of the event, but there's something about the word "legends" flashing up on screen that makes it.

>>9325

Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

The UK would be a joke if it were funny rather than tragic.

>>9325
Do you think he asked for number 10 on his shirt? I can't imagine Boris Johnson would actually play in the second-striker position.

>>9328
I'm sure there's a joke about playing in the hole there.

>>9322

It did take us 55 years to beat them.

Bit sad for Mr. Low though. Not a high point to end your career on.

>>9330
He should have stepped down after the highs of the last World Cup.

>>9327
Oh, come off it. If he was a good PM then all this would come off as endearing.

>>9325
Honestly can't stop watching it, it's quite hilarious.

Oh Rishi. Must do better.

>>9332

What about this one then?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBt8AoLBCoo

>>9335
I thought the first clip above was a masterfully spliced version of this video and a professional football match. I enjoyed the score overlay being consistently on screen and thought the editing was marvellous. Then I realised he had literally rugby tackled a football player and it was some sort of charity game. Top japes. Tbf I think it's probably muscle memory at that point of the collision, he seemed to be falling over rather than tackling, and just went into rugby mode.

>>9334
Remember when chavs used to keep the price tags on clothes so it looked like they'd nicked them?

>>9336

Is headbutting someone in the plums not a foul in rugby?

If not, it bloody well should be.

>>9338
Boris is very short, so I doubt he could help himself.

>>9338
Deliberately nutting someone, in the nuts or otherwise, contravenes Law 9.12:
>A player must not physically or verbally abuse anyone. Physical abuse includes, but is not limited to, biting, punching, contact with the eye or eye area, striking with any part of the arm (including stiff-arm tackles), shoulder, head or knee(s), stamping, trampling, tripping or kicking.

Referee
🇩🇪 Felix Brych (GER)

Assistant referees
🇩🇪 Mark Borsch (GER)
🇩🇪 Stefan Lupp (GER)

Video Assistant Referee
🇩🇪 Marco Fritz (GER)

Assistant Video Referee
🇩🇪 Christian Dingert (GER)
🇩🇪 Christian Gittelmann (GER)
🇩🇪 Bastian Dankert (GER)

Err, lads, we might have a problem with tomorrows game.

>>9341
On the contrary, the Germans will want to be knocked out by the team who wins the competition.

Imagine the humiliation of getting knocked out by a team who then goes on to lose to Ukraine.

>>9341
First time I've seen an international played by three teams.

Some good old-fashioned cheating from Italy to end this game. Belgium have looked like scoring all second half, but the last ten minutes of the game were completely drained of energy by these Italian players flopping to the ground and holding their ribs, faces and legs like they'd been shot by a police sniper. Hate to see it.

>>9344
Agreed. I've a funny feeling we might be meeting them in the final.

>>9344
I don't think the referee helped matters. He never wanted to play the advantage if there was a foul and immediately blew his whistle, plus the penalty for the Belgian goal was extremely borderline.

Just rocked up in front of the ITV Hub expecting to watch England. Very silly.

And of course England's run to the final would be Ukraine and Denmark. Which will make it doubly embarrassing if it doesn't come home.

I was getting a coffee, I only saw the end of the replay. Nice one!

This is a bit shit now. I was at least hoping Ukraine would get one of those career ending fouls in.

How are we going to spectacularly fuck up here?

This is the first football match I've watched in literally years, even I can tell Ukraine are playing an utterly crap game. They started out heavily focused on defence and still let one through, then pretty much gave up completely.

>>9352
I wouldn't be too hard on them, they did well to get this far but they're still not in the same league. Saying this now for when Spain sends us crashing out.

>>9352
It's the first England game in years where they passed the ball quite well and stayed in possession - that made Ukraine look a lot worse than they were.

>>9353
They completely forgot how to mark for large parts of the game.

I expect Italy to beat Spain. The game with Denmark will be close as they play with a lot of intensity.

>>9352
I think they played a bit better in the late second half.

Personally, I think Denmark's meme magic can still stop England's momentum. I also don't want Italy or Spain to win the tournament, and it just wouldn't be right for England to be champions. The very concept is just too weird, and that only leaves Denmark for me to cheer for.

And how good a manager is Gareth Southgate? In addition to guiding England (England!) to consecutive semi-finals, he has done so in this tournament with Pickford the gaffe machine, Harry Maguire from all those compilations of atrociously inept defending, and an array of unknown nobodies. Two of our best players this tournament are Bukayo Saka and Kalvin Phillips. What the bloody hell is going on?

Furthermore, has anyone been watching Peter Crouch's TV programme on the BBC about the Euros? Crouchy's Year-Late Euros: Live. It's a second series to his Save Our Summer series from last year, and that was great but this year's series is bloody awful and I don't know why.

Lastly, hello to the Scottish poster from 4chan's comfy /sp/ thread who outed himself as also posting here!

>>9357
>Lastly, hello to the Scottish poster from 4chan's comfy /sp/ thread who outed himself as also posting here!

Don't get taken in by revengelad's dastardly schemes.

>>9357
I caught a bit of that Peter Crouch horrorshow last night. The only redeeming feature was that I discovered Maya Jama.

>>9359
Are they grooming him to be the next Linekar?

>>9360
Hopefully that'll go to Micah Richards.

The next Lineker will be Jermaine Jenas and you're all just going to have to be bored senseless for the following twenty-five years.

>>9360
Peter Crouch is known for his sense of humour and general charm. Remember, this is the man who was asked, "What would you be if you hadn't become a professional footballer?", and replied, "Probably a virgin." And Maya Jama is good enough at presenting and much better than that at being wanked over. But it just feels like they've run out of ideas somehow. That, and the guests are always boring wankers. Look, it's a comedian you vaguely recognise from panel shows, here to talk about his terrible podcast, and a former footballer who is friends with Peter Crouch but is mysteriously available for TV appearances at no notice. Join us next week for two more of basically the exact same people! Although I say "join us next week", but the episodes are on pretty much randomly, and one episode ended with them not even remembering when the next one was going to be on.

Imagine if it comes home, and England's historic triumph is documented forever, with a perfect snapshot of the contemporary zeitgeist, and it's Alex Horne trying to get a coherent sentence out of Paul Merson.

>>9359
Thank you, I now also discovered Maya Jama.

>>9363
>Imagine if it comes home, and England's historic triumph is documented forever

You've made me realise there will never be another 'they think it's all over' moment. And not just because the commentators are too busy sucking off the England squad to say anything imaginative.

Spain were the better side there for the whole 120 minutes. I always think it's a shame to see anyone go out on penalties.

>>9366
If they could finish they would be dangerous. There was an inevitably about Morata fluffing his penalty.

>>9363
>Look, it's a comedian you vaguely recognise from panel shows, here to talk about his terrible podcast, and a former footballer who is friends with Peter Crouch but is mysteriously available for TV appearances at no notice. Join us next week for two more of basically the exact same people!
Tonight's guests were Glen Johnson, Gabby Logan and the cast of People Just Do Nothing. I am the all-seeing oracle of late-night football entertainment.

It's going to be fucking chaos on Sunday night isn't it. Nobody is going to want to go to bed but nothing will be open and I can see this ending in penalties.

Might have to book the Monday off just because I know I will be kept up all night by Danish revellers.

Come on Denmark my sons. Nothing would make me happier than seeing the crushed dreams of football fans. The final would be too good -- at least England could say they were first losers.

This definitely isn't as a result of my being bullied by all the football lads at school and as such developing a pathological hate of it ever since.

>>9370
We have become arrogant. We are already making plans for the final. We see this match as a mere formality. It's like when Brazil were selling "World Cup Champions 1950" shirts outside the Maracana stadium before the final against Uruguay. Obviously it would be nice to see it come home, but nowhere near as nice as seeing every single person in this country be absolutely, comprehensively humiliated by Denmark.

>>9371
>We

Rio Ferdinand is not representative of England.

>>9372
Racist.

>>9371
I've just put £50 on England winning the tournament so I'm confident we will lose tonight within the first few minutes.

>>9371
I think otherlad is correct. Rio Ferdinand has become a total zealot and thinks nothing can stop us, many English fans likewise think the same. Where I would differ with you both is that I don't think that's the mindset of the England team and that's ultimately where the mentality matters most.

>>9375
Exactly. Before the Europa League final the pundits were talking as if Man Utd had already won it, giving Villarreal absolutely no chance. Most pundits are ex-players who are able to offer absolutely fuck all in terms of tactical insight so they talk in clichés and about pashun. The press aren't much better.

I expect England to win tonight but it's going to be very close. There's quite a few parallels between this Denmark side and 1992.

2-0.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-57743923

>A man who raised £36,000 for a young Germany fan who was filmed crying at a Euro 2020 match says the money will go to charity after her family was found.

>Joel Hughes, of Caerleon, Newport, launched a fundraiser to "show her not everyone in the UK is horrible".

>Some England fans made abusive comments about her after she was pictured crying during Germany's 2-0 defeat at Wembley.

>In a statement on the fundraising page, the girl's family said they wanted the money to be donated to Unicef.


This is what happens when your parents are upper middle class cunts.

It's funny seeing all the pessimistic, self loathing attitudes come out every time England look remotely capable of winning something. This has long been a great problem and indeed conflict at the heart of this country's psyche. For everyone who believes in their country, we have someone else who pathologically despises the very fact they exist.

We never will anything and nothing will ever improve as long as you cunts consciously wish not to. I don't care about your views of politics or history. We might have been shit bastards in the past, but we always will be shit bastards if you cunts can't get your heads out of your arse. You cunts are the reason for a lot of terrible things, your self-flagellation is self-fulfilling.

Anyway we started off pretty strong, but by the looks of it Denmark are all over us right now, England's defence is falling apart like a set of schoolboys, just holding its arms up and going WHERE WO YER?! WHERE WO YER?! which is traditionally our downfall.

Bloody Hell, Erikson keeling over was the best thing that could have happened to this lot.

>>9379
Please stop psychoanalising an entire country because of pre-match nerves.

>>9379

Fuck yeah, England will win the sports if you all just believe.

>>9379

>For everyone who believes in their country,

What does this mean? Define a belief in your country.

>We never will anything and nothing will ever improve as long as you cunts consciously wish not to.

Yes, if I think positive thoughts it makes big football man kick ball better. Everyone knows that.

Aside from that, have you not noticed that people are indeed celebrating the wins? "it's coming home", didn't you hear?

GO ON MY SON!

>>9380

But it's an entirely valid analysis outside the realms of football. Football just brings it out when shiteing middle class tossers have to wrestle with an urge of disgusting irresistible patriotism causing a lump in their throat.

Do I even want us to win now we've conceded? Yes, but it has lessened that desire.

>>9384
I said stop.

>>9384

Outside of football, the improvement of our country is still not achieved by well-wishes, it's achieved by systemic political change.

>>9384

It's those dang fake gamer-classes coming into ARE hobbies and spoiling it for all the men - I mean, for all the blue collar workers. Shut up you mug.

It's a good job Kjær put the ball in his own net. If it had fallen to Sterling he'd have kicked it directly at Schmeichel.

>>9386
>it's achieved by systemic political change

Good thing Boris got us out the EU then.

>>9386

Which is, whichever way you look at it, not achieved by utterly hating your own existence. Why do you think Labour have been slowly imploding over the course of a decade. There's definitely the grain of truth here and I would say that's probably why you're all reacting so strongly.

Tight game though, if we do clinch this it's going to be by the skin of our teeth. Denmark are on really very good form, a slow start but they were dominating us for a lot of the last 30 minutes.

>>9390
Fuck off, you off topic twat.

My current prediction is there will be extra time, but no penalties. I don't know who will score in extra time but I suspect it might be Denmark.

If Michael Keaton chews any harder I think he might break his jaw.