>>6189
>PICRELATED: some hobo beating schoolboy who was teasing poor peasant, servers him (boy) right.

My experience of teachers tells me you're perfect.

>>6181

>side effects may include short-term memory loss
>side effects may include short-term memory loss

Currently living in Cyprus, 19 years, working in the restaurant, wasting my life. As far as I know, my russian school leaving certificate doesn't qualify the entry requirements to the university (reason: in ex-USSR countries students spend in school 1 year less). The only one option for me is to sit 3 A-levels (Math, Physics and English) as an independent student, or to take Foundation Level for which I don't have money, but I suddenly found, that British Council center in Cyprus charges around 200 pounds per unit, is it really so expensive and is there any other cheap centers within Europe excl UK where I can take International A level's as an independent student? Should I sit all 3 exams in one academic year or I can combine them from different years to get entry points? I'm getting upset thinking that I may never go to the university and won't become an engineer. Sorry for my english, bratya.

>>6185
Depends on how clever you are - for most 19 year olds, taking 3 A Levels in a year is a bit of a push. You can usually combine them and take them whenever you want, it doesn't matter which year you get them in, you just need the points.

>>6186
No university worth its salt cares about UCAS points, but you're right that you don't have to take A levels all at once either.

Have you looked into IB? I'd have thought that would be easier to take abroad given that it is, ya know, international and all.

>>6183

They've been fracking in the North Sea for years, and no-one complained.

>>6156

That was an informative post, thanks.

I wasn't asking out of any backhanded political agenda by the way, I just find it interesting to hear from people with jobs like this that you don't really ever have an insight into as an average prole.

Degree route here.

>I guess I'm looking out for the hope somebody here has done something similar and can offer some guidance, particularly as to how much 'legal' experience I have to give my soul for before standing a chance.

None unless you want to get in somewhere decent in which case proportionally more. You work in lobbying so the sun already shines out of your trousers.

Thank you and goodnight.

>>6148

>The olden days used to see me keep a very close eye on the news and check legislation on the Parliament website and debates.

I thought you were only about 22? Or do we have another lobbyist lad here?

>>6159

Usually you do a politics degree and then sell your soul to an MP for a bit after uni (good luck getting one of these jobs by the way, about 200-300 people apply for each job, most of them won't hire you without at least three months interning experience which is obviously impossible to get unless you can somehow afford to live in London for that time for free or living wage and limited hours), then apply for jobs on w4mp or the public affairs network website. Most jobs have titles like Parliamentary officer, corporate affairs (officer/manager/assistant) or public affairs or policy advisor. Everything but lobbyist basically, because those names sound much nicer.

Then you have to decide which way you want to do it. I work in house - this means that I work for a company and only that company. Everything I do is for the company, I'm part of the team like anybody else and sit in one of their offices only ever working for them. These jobs are rare and hard to come by, most people getting these are promoted internally or come from some sort of grad scheme.

The most common lobbyist way is working for an agency, who then obtains contracts with companies who outsource it and pay you to manage the accounts. Most of these jobs are shit and so are the companies, bar the exception of Hanover (hope you're Oxbridge educated and can sense a political opening three months before you're meant to ) and Michael Page, maybe a few others.

I fucking wouldn't though, I get paid little more than most assistants/secretaries, I have to often report to, brief, prepare and look after our chief Exec and board (who all get paid in excess of £4m a year) with important people despite having no money to match the responsibility, I have to sometimes deal with people that are super important myself, again for none of the salary and make sure that it never goes wrong so I don't get bollocked.

Most of my time is spent dealing with cunty Parliamentary Assistants who are the gatekeeper to the MPs we want to see, so I have to juggle diaries and chase everything up with people who get precious of their MP and won't fit you in because they want them to attend the church bake sale for the sixth week running.

Oh and if that wasn't enough, my job title includes corporate affairs, my old one was something like Parliamentary Officer, others might include public affairs as mentioned. What does this mean? Nobody appreciates the dedication, work and level of political know how you need. Whenever I tell people my job title they either think it's a fancy name for working as a customer service person or at best some sort of public relations marketer. I am none of those things and neither is the job. Nobody, except those who work in the area, will never understand the job title and assume you do something like go to public meetings and deal with the public.

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>>6163
>Law might be boring, shit, hard work and more of a vocation than a job, but so is this, and I'd rather take the extra money. Hence why I want to swap.

I would avoid anything related to in-house or criminal law then. I cannot stress enough that you should avoid in-house especially now that accountancy firms are starting to move into the territory. I spent a summer working for a major financial institution in London and it was cubicle hell.

Criminal law comes with the proviso that you can make decent pay but your first few years will be hand to mouth even as a Barrister. I've been told by non-criminal law types that this could be bullshit though.

>I'm a bit tired and grumpy, but I can't tell if you're taking the piss? Will my background actually help? Nobody seems to give a shit when I've asked around about what I do now.

I'm being flippant but yes you shine with the public law experience you have. I suspect you might need to present it better but you have relevant and certainly interesting experience to offer.

If you have any holiday time I recommend emailing your local chambers and of course law firms about any shadowing opportunities they have (for chambers its called a mini-pupilage and usually lasts ~3 days). Following a Barrister around may not sound like something you are chasing right now but I assure you they are wizards when it comes to knowing who to ask and you might end up fancying it in which case joining an Inn is complicated but they take care of you.

>>6120
>>6122
Or considered the Open University or a part time course?

>>6122
I have considered the idea that it is no longer a realistic path.

>>6124

Lad. You failed a foundation year.

Unless there were some seriously mitigating circumstances which caused you to fail, you'll never have a university degree.

>>6125
I failed for personal reasons, and by a very small margin. I don't think I'm being delusional or dishonest with myself when I say that getting a degree is not beyond my intellectual capacity.

>you'll never have a university degree.
But I do think this is the case.

>>6100
>I have mediocre A-levels, and it seems that even average universities want better grades than I have.

Bollocks. Mid-table universities won't give a fuck and I'm proof of this.

>>6105
No, for mature students they like to see experience. That said this whole idea of a foundation degree sounds like a scam to me - do a year part-time at the OU in a relevant subject and you are golden.

>>6119
I didn't borrow another penny at uni (the interest free overdraft did help at some points). You'll need a part-time job to pay for the weed but I made do even without a scholarship which I find out at the end of the final year I was entitled to.

Why is everyone making me angry?

>>6120
What went wrong?

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>>5727
You find in some communities that people use some really fucking awful hosts. In general, the worse the host, the more likely it is they're just uploading to get money or credit. If you see some sites where people post large files and haven't split them into small enough chunks, you get people complaining that "hey, this file can only be downloaded with a premium account" and the response will always be "go premium, it's totally worth it" by which they mean "go premium, preferably from the link on that error page, because then I get a substantial commission". Some of the more odious places advertise to downloaders about their high speeds and no wait times while at the same time advertising to uploaders about the commission they can earn on premium sales and rebills for users that go premium having landed on one of their links. You may remember old Rapidshare and Megaupload (pbut) had points systems so that uploaders could redeem their rewards for premium time or merchandise, but not usually cash (though Megaupload apparently did offer cash rewards on the hush-hush). Basically MU going under is what killed /rs/, since suddenly most of the links didn't work (RS were less passive when it came to IP complaints), and none of the alternatives were being indexed.

One of the regular uploaders on /co/ (now gone) would say how in a typical Wednesday to Friday he might get several thousand downloads between everything he uploaded in that time. At one point it was a standing joke that all you needed to earn all the points you'd ever need on e-hentai was to upload a gallery, post a link to it on /a/ and watch the points flood in. Understandably what is perhaps the largest message board on the English-speaking Web doesn't particularly want what is effectively people making money on copyright infringement at their expense.

>>5728
I've been worried about this post all night. I just can't tell if that apostrophe is meant to be there or not. I've stared at it on my mobile phone in bed, but couldn't post about it because Opera Mini is blocked here (in fact I have to use a web proxy via OM to view the place, which I certainly can't post from).
And of course I'm one of those arseholes who sets their browser to forget everything when I close it so I can't delete the post even if I wanted to.

It's wrong isn't it? It shouldn't be there. I kept refreshing the page in bed expecting the red text to appear.

>>5730

It is, but your frank and honest delirium on the subject has won me over you cheeky chappie. Run along, you scamp.

Use sci-hub.io

So for example, if you want to open

http://www.jstor.org/stable/2872097

you add .sci-hub.io after the .org

http://www.jstor.org.sci-hub.io/stable/2872097

>>6096
Alternatively, just copy and paste the DOI into Sci-Hub. That stubborn little Russian lady is doing all of us a favour that work at shit universities with undersubscribed libraries. And non-academics, I guess, but they're not important.

>>6089
By non intrinsic I mean not football or rugby for the reasons later stated.

>>6085
Your uni might have a half-decent DJing society. Mine did, they used to run nights all over the city, they were excellent.

As far as sports go, the other lads are right that you should try something more obscure. Football and rugby are more or less a no-go unless you're actually good at them before you get there, that's universal across the country bar any intramural leagues (but you would need friends already to make a team).

Field hockey tends to be up there among the top "university experience" sports because it's fucking pointless so all they do is go out and drink, cricket is similar since you only get cricket weather in the three months you're not actually at uni, but cricket lads are about the biggest cunts you'll encounter at uni. American football is a decent shout if you're reasonable athletic to begin with.

I started ice hockey at uni and would recommend it to anyone provided they were happy with the investment money-wise and reasonably confident they're going to stick at it. The university league, BUIHA, has really good options for beginners, two non-contact leagues, both with a weekend-long tournament at Easter each year that involves a nice piss-up with players from the rest of the country.

Archery is also a good shout if you just want to make mates and not actually get good at a sport.

>>6090
I don't really see how football or rugby are more 'intrinsic' team-based sports... poor choice of words perhaps?

>>6017
Everyone is a cunt. We're all just muddling along in our own way trying to make sense of life and the hand we've been dealt. Play it. Get the fuck on with it. Everyone is the same.

>>6092
Always been alright at archery so I guess that's a viable option.

>>6070
>neither are there any schools which provide only infant or junior education

Well this part is false - I went to completely separate infant and junior schools.

Now that I think about it, it's probably because before sixth form colleges were a thing people mostly did their A-level studies at their secondary school (and this is still common at many schools, independent schools in particular). So if you subsume A-levels into secondary school, and combine infants/juniors as primary education that gives primary, secondary and then tertiary for university.

A-levels are considered high/secondary school. I thought this was common knowledge.

Now that my ban is over, let me clarify:

Primary,
Secondary,
Tertiary i.e. University.

As some anon pointed out, this is most likely because most schools of moderate size had a combined sixth form department.

Also I was drunk when I posted this thread, and I didn't realise it was on the wrong board, soz.

>>6075
It isn't on the wrong board, it's just a shit thread. Also, we already have a similar shit thread: >>4291­.

>>6078
What a strange coincedence that the OP's image would again be a Nazi.

>>6051
2200 hours or even just the solid month required for German seems a little excessive to me. Roughly how long do you reckon it will take to be able to pick up a newspaper or chat up a Chinese lass before you label me a pervert, its so I can learn the language through submersion.

I suppose its a hard one to answer but you're right that the slog is something I have to keep in mind. I'm trying to get my head around the tones as a bit of practice and I can already see a few cock-ups in the making.

>>6055
>I also studied at Renmin University, one of their political unis in Beijing

Why did you study at Renmin University, one of their political unis in Beijing?

>>6058
Cheers I will give it a whirl.

>>6059

[spoiler}TBH you can just go up to a Chinese lass and ask for her number and she will give it to you. Even if she is with her "boyfriend"of 4 years". it is either amusing or tragic.[/spoiler]

Tonally, and I shit thee not, the best thing is to watch a few of the early Arnie movies and then put on a ham Arnie accent when speaking Mandarin or Cantonese. I learnt this taking the piss out of my missus, and her response the first time was "fuck, how have you finally learnt how to pronounce tones properly?"

Give it a shot and see how well it works.

>>6060
huh, I had assumed that they just wanted to be left alone and that the womenfolk would be ostracised if they started seeing a native. I guess I will get chatting to them in the smoking area at the library and see where it goes.

You' know I think I've heard this advice somewhere before, the other thread also seems to suggest it with the talking like a racist stereotype. I guess I will try doing an Arnie movie marathon before my first lesson.

>>6061

Chinese lasses in the UK, I dunno. In the Mainland, yes.

I think that post was me, but it was not meant as a racist stereotype, more dropping your voice half a tone and enunciating the vowews, as Arnie did when he was learning English.

>>6059
>Why did you study at Renmin University, one of their political unis in Beijing?


Because I was smashing out some bloody good grades in Chinese whilst a unilad.

>>6039
Don't want to speak on OP's behalf, but from what dem forrins have told me, many of them sort of have a leg up over us simply because they've been exposed to a lot of English due to the pervasiveness of Anglo cultural output. They've never "studied" English formally, and often wouldn't even consider claiming to even know "a bit of English", even if they're more competent than a typical GCSE foreign language student over here, but in a good number of countries it's almost impossible not to pick up a decent vocabulary without even trying.

>>6040
Bastards. I can barely speak Spanish, let alone write in it, but I have an A in GCSE Spanish.

>>6036

This. Find language study groups in your native language and offer language exchange via Skype. Christ, the going rate to teach via Skype is 25 quid an hour. This may allow you to earn enough money to take a gap year.

>>6033

Improvement in any subject requires conscious and active practice. Language exchange chat via Skype is an excellent option, as other people have mentioned. Google "language exchange" and you'll find plenty of options.

Think about other opportunities to use English. You might want to take a free course on Coursera or Udacity in a humanities subject. These courses usually include a weekly written assignment that is graded by your peers.

You could try writing for money. Judging by your post, your English is probably good enough. Sites like Upwork and Onespace have lots of entry-level writing jobs available. These jobs don't pay very well by western standards (a few US dollars per short blog post or product description) but that may be an attractive rate of pay in your country. By doing these jobs, you're essentially getting paid to practice your writing skills.

If you want to travel abroad, there are often cheap or free ways to do so. Look into volunteering opportunities and working holidays. Because English is the lingua franca, you don't necessarily need to visit an English-speaking country to get lots of speaking and listening experience.

>>6043
>You could try writing for money. Judging by your post, your English is probably good enough. Sites like Upwork and Onespace have lots of entry-level writing jobs available. These jobs don't pay very well by western standards (a few US dollars per short blog post or product description) but that may be an attractive rate of pay in your country. By doing these jobs, you're essentially getting paid to practice your writing skills.
This. There's plenty of demand for translators out there, and if what you've written here is anything to go by, your ability isn't going to hold you back.

>>6013
Waffle courses do lend themselves useful when you're looking for a specific job in that area afterwards. But a lot of the cabbages that do them, might work ok, get a first here and a 2.1 there, but don't pursue internships (usually unpaid), or do any useful networking. After the BA's, they expect a job to land in their lap.

>>6014
Yeah, how dare they expect to get paid for their labour. Next they'll be asking to go home each night instead of working 16 hour days.

>>6015
Thats not what I said you twat. The rest of real degrees usually arm themselves with additional experience outside of uni and that gives a better edge over those who don't.

There's nothing stopping you from consulting other tutors, or even tutors from other universities. Send an email asking if they could spare 15 minutes to talk about your dissertation. Bring some talking material with you to show that you take their time seriously.

>>5618
Thanks for the suggestion. Without giving away enough to identify myself and get myself fucked over for discussing it online, this won't really work.

I'[ve been to other tutors who have informed me they cna't hear or look at any of my work and only my tutor can because it's past a certain date (Apparently this rule is to stop people like me pestering already busy tutors who have their own students), I have my own who I've used up my one small draft with and got once again vague feedback.

It's quite a specific topic so I contacted some other departments across the UK who seem to have a professor or two who writes on it. I got a reply from one saying they passed, and the other said that they'd be happy for me to come in in person and discuss it but they can't really get a flavour of it through email without sending it, which I'm not allowed to do. I'd love to walk in but it's miles away and a 100 quid train ticket for 10 minutes with somebody who may or may not be useful probably isn't going to help.

Honestly, I know it sounds like I'm being an awkward lad but if I hadn't exhausted every possible avenue of support I wouldn't be resigning myself to asking how bad it can be to scrape by. I'm pretty resilient and my posting here only illuminates the desperate predicament I've found myself in.

>>5619
I should add, the picture is probably an accurate reflection of the two phases my face falls into when I'm asked by other students how it's going

>>5619
>I'[ve been to other tutors who have informed me they cna't hear or look at any of my work


You can, however, talk about 'plans' and 'lines of enquiry'. Just condense your dissertation into bullet points and bring that along.

I I'm sure it was burning in the back of a few minds but I just wanted to let you all know it was fine in the end and I took a 65. It's a great sense of relief to look back at how much I was stressing and know I won't have to do that again.

>>5990
Yes.

Funding confirmation (loan) didn't come in until the Friday before term started. Two weeks notice period on my job, came down with a prospective house on Wednesday and then they told me to fuck off. There's nowhere to live that I can afford.

A couple of pensioners let me stay the weekend but I've been turfed out today. Gonna go and sit in the library and collapse on a sofa there but I'll probably get kicked out by security.

It's getting cold out.

>>6007

Hostel?

Then, check the newspapers and every shop window and notice board you can find looking for a room in the morning. Failing that, if you can find an unlocked door that leads to a dry cupboard without getting caught you can sleep in there. I've seen people live inside abandoned spaces inside occupied buildings for months at a time without being caught, because they're smart and they dumpster dive.

Somewhere with warm pipes is the Holy Grail until you can find a place, but even then you might be warmer in the cupboard.

I'm in a similar boat at the moment as my professional and career development loan still hasn't been processed (incidentally the university is threatening to suspend me next week but I've fired off some emails so maybe they won't).

At any rate its only covering 80% of my course fees with £2k leftover to live off for 2 years (i.e. I'm hoping the bank will give me 8k tuition now so I can pay this years tuition in full with 60% saved for next year). I've got one or maybe 2 decent jobs in the pipework but I'm not confident on hearing anything back so I'm in a real pickle on how I'm going to live given securing even shitty part-time work is proving difficult.

I'm presently doing an MRes that I aim to bump into a PhD whenever I can get before a tribunal so I think I might have a chance at securing some form of funding but as I've already started I've got no idea if doors have already closed. Anyone here fought through the process before that can give some pointers on doing this all beyond last minute?

>>5991
Lad, this is silly. Go report your problems to student support and get a delayed start until your finance is in order.

I was offered this at the start of the month because the university cocked up my course administration.