>>230493
Me.

Buy out britfa.gs and the britchan.org domain and return this place to how it once was, before the time of yubyub.

>>230493

Well it wasn't me so it must have been the other guy.

>>230498

I can confirm that is was indeed me. However as I am an uneducated lower class lout, I've already spent half of it on cocaine and stella.

That bird who won loads of money a few years ago did the same iirc. But because she had no idea about the prices, he charged her like £3000 for what would normally be about £100.

I'll use it to pay 0.018% of our national debt.

No need to thank me.

>>230500

Could have got more value by paying my debts since you'd have paid 1610000%.

>>230493

I spent it all on hookers already.

I'd recruit a rag-tag team of Britfa.gs and go Pirate/Treasure hunting around Africa and the Caribbean.

We'd drink Rum and smoke all day, we'd have an elite team of hookers that every night have to perform reality TV show tasks with a sexual twist, to assure their place on HMS Sodomy.

We'd occasionally host dinner parties in which the finest intellectual minds of the world come to enjoy our company. The proles would call us the Illuminati, we wouldn't care.

I'd buy an island and make it my own country. It would have the age of consent at a Sun front page story low number. I'd make it my goal in life to appear in as many scandals and front page stories filled with moral outrage as possible.

I don't know, probably buy a few acres and a few ounces and relax...if my ticket survived the house fire.

>>230505

Could I perhaps come too, for er, research purposes?

>>230507

Sure. We can have a cabinet and ministers. Perhaps a presidential figure. I have someone in mind for the role of PM/President. Pic related.

>>230509
I'd salute her flag, IYKWIM.

>>230513

u shut be locked up m8

>>230514

With El Presidente there? Cells sometimes have two to a cell, don't they...? I could live with that.

>>230513

>her

You just keep on believing, madm7

One of the local festivals which should draw in tourists to the island.

>>230516

Look at the hair, face, hands, skirt. Female.

I almost shat myself when I got an email from the lottery.

I won £6.40 which I'll probably spend on instants because I don't bother playing the lottery unless it's a massive amount

10 mil for lotto
50 mil for euro millions
Minimum

>>230520

I know what you mean. At least with the Euromillions all the prizes get larger as the pot goes up.

>>230516

use a bumder, lad

If I ever won that much I'd give a substantial portion of it to charity. You can live comfortably for the rest of your life with much less.

>>230526
See I'm a heartless bastard and would spend the entire lot on myself, friends and family.

>>230504

THE DREAM!

>>230504
>>230528

I'd totally go for the big Britfa.gs piss up at the very least. Although the piratical tour idea is growing on me.

One thing I'd do if I had a few grand to waste would be to put in a very genuine looking planning application to turn my house in a quiet residential area into a strip club. It would be great watching the local press go into meltdown with outraged locals signing petitions and all sorts. Would be amazingly funny if you did get granted planning permission despite not really wanting it.

>>230531
Come to think of it, you're right you could have tons of fun doing that for all sorts of outlandish projects, just to raise the ire of the local NIMBYs. I fucking hate NIMBYs.

>>230531
>>230535

Oh yes! The scale of the pranks you could do would be amazing. Legendary wind-ups with a bottomless purse.

>I fucking hate NIMBYs.

Seconded.

If I had that much money I'd go to some country where there's almost no laws and organize a real life battle royale with all the big brother contestants.

I won't even film it.

>>230540
>some country where there's almost no laws
Oh please, narrow it down a bit.

>>230549

Why? Does it matter where as long as there are almost no laws.?You having trouble picturing without more details, autist?

>>230556
No, because I don't believe such a country exists.

Papa New Guinea is meant to be pretty lawless.

>>230556

Indeed. With 160 million you can make it happen, despite the autist.

>>230563
Stop saying 'Indeed.' You're really getting on my tits. It makes you sound so fucking smug.

>>230568

Indeedly-doodly!

>>230572

Indeed.

>>230568
Quite, this "indeed" thing must stop.

>>230575

Quite.

>>230577

It seems that the term has left a this person quite...BAF­FLED!

http://www.youtube.com/v/jY3_4IDYlYA

>>230576

Indubitably.

>>230578

Indeed.

>>230575

THE D­REAM

>>230579

Natch.

I'd buy an enormous house, a boat, and maybe a couple of cars. The rest I would give away.

I'd get a house in the middle of nowhere, and hire 5-10 high class escorts for like a year. They wouldn't be allowed to leave the house, and they'd be my concubines. After a year, I'd get new ones, and keep cycling it. The one from the first cycle I like best I'd keep paying, and she'd act as my trophy wife.

I think I would buy a football team.

I am investing it in businesses and stocks and then I am going to amass a large sum of money just to troll 'new world order' theorists with.

I think it's a rather good idea.

>>230623

Would you make up your own one out of stars or would you buy a current/local one?

>>230624

...lad.

I actually woke up thinking about this the other day.

I'd buy a game studio and make awesome games that aren't YOBA enough to make a profit.

>>230620

Knowing a few escorts, this wouldn't work. They aren't going to move in with you for a year for any amount of money.

You'd be better off with hot crack whores. Lure them with crack and then get them clean after you get them to you mansion. They will look to you as a savior and the experience will be all the sweeter.

When you throw them out you can either set them up in a nice place so they can start to make something of themselves, or throw them to the dogs. Either is fine.

>>230636

Cunning.

>>230520

Lucky bastard. I won £2.90.

>>230493

Hypothetically though, if I won, I'd apply for a visa, buy a small company, or start a small company in a SE Asian country. Live on the coast, spend my time on a boat, or in a kayak. Needs to be close to some intense biking courses, too. After blowing half of it on parties and drugs for me and my friends.

>>230493
I play the irish lotto lad, more chance of winning even if it is jut 50 euro's and a pint of guiness.

>>230648

I myself would buy a very small square of land, dig down 200 feet, and create my very own Moria, buying more squares and installing air pumps as needed.

>>230660

Sounds perfect to live out the End of Days.

>>230493
A few nights ago my mum was drunk and came up to me with a lottery ticket she had bought, telling me to check the results when they come up. We never play the lottery and her drunkness was annoying me and I told her to go away, and in a huff she put the ticket in the bin.

Due to this thread I am close to tears...

>>230662

This could be the best thing ever.

GET INTO YOUR BIN. START RAKING LAD.

>>230662

Why aren't you in the bin yet?

For £161 million you should be eating the damn rubbish in your frenzy to get through it.

>>230662

Always do what mummy tells you even if she's shitfaced. I hope you've learned a valuable lesson here young man..

>>230662

If I was your mother I would have you aborted for this.

>>230636
Crack whores are gross though. I'll just buy Russian brides if that's the case and have 10 at a time. Russian women are quite nice.

Those of you looking for almost lawless countries need look no further than a small landlocked Himalayan former kingdom. High class escorts are also reasonably priced here.

>>230676

All you need is a balloon and some candy, yeah?

>>230677

THE ANALSEXFIGHT!

>>230678

u wot m8

>>230679

Looks like a new wordfilter. THE ANALSEXFIGHT

>>230680

Perhaps the url of a youtube video about a certain Leonard Nimoy pilot could be wordfiltered too? Please.

>>230688

We'd have to find something appropriate to filter it into, another youtube video?

>>230688

Just filtering the word WITH NOTHING TO SAY BECAUSE I AM A CUNT would fix it I reckon.

>>230691

Yeah, I would just filter the entire post into I HAVE NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS THREAD.

>>230693

WITH NOTHING TO SAY BECAUSE I AM A CUNT ANALSEXFIGHT

>>230691
I'm ahead of you on this...

I see the crybaby thread on /shed/ demanding wordfilters was hidden afterwards too.

Does this mean we can all start posting demands and whinges for wordfilters all the time again? Back to that idiotic cycle we were almost rid of? Something is posted twice and we can demand a knee-jerk reaction because we can't handle anything outside of our autistic cotton wool world? It seems that the word filters are written by humourless twelve year old boys or mentally retarded adults too.

What happened to the clever wordfilters? Wordfiltering something to random swear words makes the staffer who made it look like an immature twat without any creativity.

>>230700

You seem to be the only one having a whinge lad.

>>230703

Only now that the thread posted about the topic has been conveniently swept under the rug. And this was an issue before.

>>230703

whinge, lad.

Tsk. Standards are slipping.

>>230700

>I see the crybaby thread on /shed/ demanding wordfilters was hidden afterwards too.

Whinging about people whinging? You're off to a good start lad, tell me are you the one that kept trying to force either of those memes?

>Does this mean we can all start posting demands and whinges for wordfilters all the time again?

I've only ever seen 3 or 4 demands for filters ever be fulfilled and in all of those cases they were justified.

>Something is posted twice and we can demand a knee-jerk reaction because we can't handle anything outside of our autistic cotton wool world?

If you're going to whinge at least be able to back your accusations with facts, you know forwell that they've been used more than twice.

>It seems that the word filters are written by humourless twelve year old boys or mentally retarded adults too.

As opposed to 17 year old sixth formers on their summer holidaysTOTALLY MATURE WORKING MEN WITH 6 WEEKS PAID HOLIDAY A YEAR?

>What happened to the clever wordfilters? Wordfiltering something to random swear words makes the staffer who made it look like an immature twat without any creativity.

So in the end you resort to name calling, baseless accusations and insulting behaviour to get your point across? You sound more juvenile than the ones moaning or setting up the wordfilters.

>>230704
>Only now that the thread posted about the topic has been conveniently swept under the rug

The user deleted it if you must know. Stop trying to stir up trouble.

Don't we all come here for leisure and intellectual conversation?

You pork products need to calm down and adhere.

>>230706

Replying to posts line by line is so obnoxious especially combined with the 4chan meme image. I don't know what you are trying to prove with that. You've taken everything literally too, like some bizarre internet autist.

"Whinging about whinging"? That old one? That doesn't fly if bother to think about it at all. Otherwise you'd expect people to put up with censorship and tantrums all the time because "oh, that's whinging about whinging and makes you worse!!".

Hardly more juvenile than the moaners or the ones setting up the filters. I didn't post wordfilters that say "POOPOOSHITFUCK" or similar. It's a long slide to that level. I am asking for quality. That doesn't seem unreasonable. Remember the pork product in gravy filter? The Gay Racists one? at least those were a bit better.

So why does a term that's been used for two years here without complaint suddenly get wordfiltered? Because of one person making whinge thread? That's all it clearly took to go back to the heavy handed filters again.

I can see from that text you're another one of these ones that obsess about "memes" and "forced memes" too. This might expain the oddly autistic and aggressive post.

>>230707

Wasn't blaming a mod for it. I expected it was the OP who did it.

The only reason these new wordfiltered terms were posted much at all was because of the constant whinging by the autist who ended up demanding the filter. Someone would post the term once in a while and the autist would start screaming about and so then two or three people would start taunting them, as anyone would expect.

If the autist wasn't whinging about them in the first place then they wouldn't have been posted nearly so much. Filtering won't stop it because the autist will moan about something else and then everyone will pile on again to tease them into another outburst.

>>230711

>A wall of text interspaced with insults without contributing anything other than more whining.

If you fail to see the irony in both your first post and this second post then I put it to you that you that maybe, just maybe you're the one taking things a little too seriously. And just for your information I've never requested a wordfilter ever, I couldn't give a fuck what the Mods and Purple choose to filter it means nothing to me.

>Wasn't blaming a mod for it. I expected it was the OP who did it.

That is exactly what you was trying to do by implying with thinly veiled inuendo but didn't have the balls to directly accuse someone.

>>230720

So you would label anyone 'autistic' who finds it annoying when some dickhead is spamming this site with the same youtube video? I suppose anyone who objects to the recent deluge of sad frog greentext is 'autistic' too?

I imagine the L Nimoy guy is having his bubble burst today if he actually thought we all loved his forced meme, and that it was just a lone rogue 'autist' who had been speaking out all this time.

Fuck off back to 4chan with that shit.

>>230767

Did you actually bother to read before swinging your ape like fists to pound out an answer you mouthbreathing, knee jerk dunce? I'm the one objecting to him moaning about memeforcer et al doing the "WITH NOTHING TO SAY BECAUSE I AM A CUNT" thing.

Green text is there to quote somebody in the absence of actual quote tags and in my case then I did it for brevity. So slow down, take a breath and calm down a little.

>>230772

Wow, calm down.

You seemed to be suggesting memeforcing is actually the fault of those who are annoyed by it.

Well, I don't agree, and I don't agree that anyone who is annoyed by it, or other 4chan behaviour is 'autistic' either.

Requesting 'autistic' be wordfiltered to 'civilised'.

>>230777

>Wow, calm down.

Ah you're that guy who repeats what he has just seen instead of being original.

>Well, I don't agree, and I don't agree that anyone who is annoyed by it, or other 4chan behaviour is 'autistic' either.

They are, haven't you got a thread to derail or something?

>>230778

>Ah you're that guy who repeats what he has just seen instead of being original.

Apologies, I didn't bother reading as far as the end of your post.

>They are, haven't you got a thread to derail or something?

I have a suggestion: if you like 4chan so much, and wish this place could be just like it... why don't you go and post on 4chan instead? I mean, does that not make sense to you?

Calm down, dears.

This is a thread about what we would do with £161 million. You sound like a day out at the autistic societies annual picnic, you really do!

Coincidentally, would you like to buy these clockwork ducks?

>>230772

>Did you actually bother to read before swinging your ape like fists to pound out an answer

Hahaha, I remember being the first one to use this phrase.

Sorry, just checking. Should have saged that one, too.

GAH a pair of fat scotchers.

>>230976

So which one of us is going to go up there and try and woo her away from her fella first?

>>230985
I'm not sure its worth it.

>>230992

I've done worse for free, honestly.

>>230993
You've done... worse...?

Lad.

Jealous? As if!

>>230994

Well, about the equivalent, I guess.

I'd smoked some crack beforehand and been drinking.

>>230996
Dear Lord, I thought only coloured folk smoked crack.

>>231000
Yes, white people smoke cocaine.

http://www.yaaams.org/celebrity/crack-cocaine-and-white-celebrity-users/

>>230995

I've never seen anybody so undeserving of happiness. I hope they spend it all on chunky white gold chains from Argos.

>>230995 "When asked at a media conference in Falkirk what they will do with the money, Chris said: "We're not flashy people.""

Not flashy people! Send me the fucking money then you fat fucks.

Autists whinging at autists whinging at autists. Oh britfags, you do make me lol.

I'll tell you what, I'm not a flashy person either, but if I won £161 million I sure as fuck would be soon.

>>231057
I honestly think I could resist. Am I fooling myself?

>>231058

You have to ask yourself this. Why would you resist? Flash cars, nice things, jewel encrusted golden toilets...

Self respect? Fuck off. I have the money, you don't.

>>231060

I'd buy an apartment in some city and hide in it for the rest of my life, not speaking to anybody except on the net.

Well well, Who would have thought that Harold Bishop and Peter Griffin would win the euro millions!

>>231017

>"We're not flashy people"

>Not flashy
>Went public

Err, no.

Can't believe anyone could be so unbelievably stupid as to win that much and not stay Anonymous. They will be targeted by fucking everyone, charities, scammers, burglars, the lot. They may have the cash but their lives will be a misery because they went public.

My favourite lottery story is still the guy who used to do his own ticket in addition to being in a syndicate with his mates. His own ticket won and he he won a pretty huge amount, felt guilty and gave each of his syndicate mates a cheque for like a grand or something; one of them took all the cheques, tore them up in front of the guy, and demanded a bigger share. He promptly and quite rightly ditched them.

>>230767

>I imagine the L Nimoy guy is having his bubble burst today

I bet he isn't.

>>231081
I found the 'WITH NOTHING TO SAY BECAUSE I AM A CUNT' guy quite amusing. Sorry.

>Initially, they had not wanted to go public with their win. But they realised that they would have had to tell lies and hide their news from those around them, and they wanted to be able to enjoy the moment and all that it meant.

Whaaaa? There's a difference between deciding not to invite paps round to your house, and lying to your friends.

>>231083
This definitely wordfiltered now? WITH NOTHING TO SAY BECAUSE I AM A CUNT. WITH NOTHING TO SAY BECAUSE I AM A CUNT. WITH NOTHING TO SAY BECAUSE I AM A CUNT!

>>231085
Well spotted Sherlock.

I loved the BÁFFLED meme, and quite frankly the fact that people are getting so worked up over it has me...BÁFFLED!

http://www.youtube.com/v/jY3_4IDYlYA

(also, the fact the mods have actually wordfiltered it means they have been sucessfully trolled. Well done, Team BÁFFLED!)

>>231087
Oh you.

>>230767

>the L Nimoy guy

It's more than one person.

>>231084

You'd seriously tell all your friends if you won £167 million? I wouldn't, because I'm not a stupid arsehole. I'd tell them I got left £10k by a relative or something to account for all the spending I'd be getting up to, but I wouldn't let them know just how rich I was.

They'd treat me different.

If I won that much money, I'd probably start by financing a new series of Interceptor

>>231091
Ly.

ITT:

>implying that the introduction of a wordfilter will stop people forcing a meme the mods don't like

>>231094
I think the Meme Master will have something to say about your
>implying

>>231094

Quite frankly the notion that I'm supposed to be discouraged is leaving me... BАFFLED!

http://www.youtube.com/v/jY3_4IDYlYA

>>231091
>I'm not a stupid arsehole
Yes you are:
>account for all the spending I'd be getting up to
If you're going to be so ostentatious about a sudden windfall then you deserve beggars at your doorstep. I wouldn't live very differently to how I do now. If you stop thinking about things before you spend on them then of course people are going to treat you differently, because it will be blatantly obvious that you can be taken for a ride.

Then again I have always wanted to buy a gold-coloured tuxedo, just so people would say 'ah, there goes the guy that won the lottery'.

Probably swiftly followed by 'what a cunt'.

>>231094

gb24chan with your

>implying

It's for quotes; nothing more.

It isn't for your stories (I know how upset you must've been when /r9k/ was shut down) or whatever this fucking Implying is; Most of the time is completely without context.

Sage for rant!

>>231099

>implying that implying is a 4chan-only thing

>>231097

Seriously, BAFFLÉD! is the greatest meme this site has had since HALF PAST TWO when it was in its prime. I suspect the people who hate it are in fact the kind of people who miss HALF PAST TWO and all the Chanology drama and long for a return of the 'old days'

EIther way, they're still autists

>>231098

I like how you're going on about gold tuxedos like you know anything about my situation - I have a very low income and as a result have to be frugal, to such an extent that even spending £10 on something non-essential would be immediately noticed by my peers as out of character.

Wanker.

>>231104
What? No. It's me that wants the gold tuxedo, not you.

So, you're pisspoor and surrounded by people who scrutinise your financial situation in the hope that if you ever become rich they can treat you differently?

Dude.

I'm really sick of all the whining autists on here of late.

STOP LIKING THINGS I DON'T LIKE

STOP FORCING A MEME I DON'T FIND FUNNY

Seriously, fuck off and get a sense of humour before you continue posting on here.

>>231113

Yeah well I'm sick of people whining about people whining.
So there!
Plus I know how to sage.

>>231118

I know how to sage, I just chose not to. So there

Let's just all calm down and sort this out over a cup of tea like true gents.

Forgetting to sage makes an Autist rage

>>231123

The word autist has been so overused that it's lost all meaning to me. Like when you repeat a word over and over and it just becomes incoherent babble.
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist
autistautisautisautistautistautistautistautisautisautistautistautist

Does this hat make me look FLY?

>>231107

No, I'm piss poor and am well known for being the biggest scrooge in my social circle as a result. These things which I call "friends" knnow me well enough to notice a change in my behaviour.

Why would I want to turn down 90% of invitations to events when I could actually afford them?

>>231145
Nah m8, makes you look well buzzin innit.

>>231150
that gave me a hearty laugh.

Also what's wrong with these people? The biggest lottery win in Europe and they did the stupid thing of not staying anonymous. They may as well said "come rob us"

>>231107
>Dude.
No.

>>231154
Did you see them, they went public for the company.

>>231154

They've got more than enough money to hire the best "security consultants" around. I'd be more worried about people taking my family hostage and ransoming them to be honest.

>>231154

They will end up with people they love kidnapped and all sorts of horrors unleashed.

They're crazy.

Not quite as serious but still

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2015539/Lottery-winners-flee-Spain-begging-letters-pour-in.html

What idiots. Surely they realised that choosing not to go public doesn't mean they're not allowed to tell their close friends.

I thought Camelot always told big winners to go on holiday as soon as they win? Apparently it's healthier for some reason.

If I'd have won I'd have kept it very quiet. I'd tell people I'd won a bit of money but infer it was only 6 or so figures, apart from very close family of course. If I'd won £161m I'd have bought every regular britfa.g poster a shed and given them a million or so.

>>231372
>If I'd won £161m I'd have bought every regular britfa.g poster a shed and given them a million or so.

Three million out of that ammout isn't a lot m8.

>>231373

I know but I wouldn't want to give them anymore lest I finance some sort of autistic supervillan who uses space lasers to vaporise anyone who mixes up you're and your.

>>231381

What's the difference between a space laser and a normal laser?

>>231382

One is based in space and the other is terrestrial? Stop trying to be a smart cunt.

>>231386

I just wanted to know, you arsehole. Suck on my average-sized penis so I can blow my slightly sour sperm all over your face.

>>231386>>231388

Now imagine these two people had multiple millions of pounds. You begin to see my point.

>>231388

This lad, I think he's new.