|>>|| No. 9279
The key, as far as I can tell, is to stop anyone from owning multiple houses. There are plenty of houses in this country; we know this because we rent them. We just need to find a way to make the owners sell them.
My own proposal for how to do this is a threefold plan of increasingly militant, but wholly nonviolent, steps:
1) Have a list of who owns every house in the country. The government, yes, the actual Conservative Party, are already introducing plans to do this, so it can't be that extreme. Also, make it so every house must be owned by a person, rather than Anon Ltd. Housing companies will have to put the houses in the names of their CEO, but nothing else needs to change. This will have the added benefit of massively reducing corruption.
2) Cap rents. This means that if, hypothetically, step 3 is going to financially harm professional landlords, they cannot pass the costs on to their tenants. This will make the job of landlord much less attractive, but it's still an entirely reasonable policy. We might not even need step 3 if the landlords can guess where this is going.
3) Anyone whose name is on the homeowner list more than once, gets charged an extremely punitive tax. To begin with, that will be 10% of the value of each additional home they own, per year. That tax money will then be used to hire lots of people, creating jobs, to go around every house in the country and revalue it. Once it has its much higher valuation, due to houses being more expensive now, the tax will increase accordingly. Anyone who is rich enough to have a second home in a holiday area can keep it, but they'll need to be even richer than they already are. Those who aren't that rich can sell their holiday homes. In the event that this incredible plan still doesn't work, let's just increase the punitive tax to 15%. Or 20%. Or 40%, or 50%. If your council tax becomes £400,000 a year on your second home, fantastic. I don't give a fuck. It's this or we hang you. Take the hint.
Obviously there will be some complaints about pension companies having bought all the houses. But we already have a pensions crisis looming. Most people will not be able to live on their pensions when they retire in 10-40 years. The pensions companies are fucked either way. They're not on our side. Fuck them. Other housing companies that rent out hundreds of flats and houses will complain too, that they're going to fold overnight. Good. The job market is looking great for everyone right now; just work somewhere else. Thanks, Boris; you have enabled us to implement this plan of national rescue. And there will also be complaints from old boomers who want to invest their life savings somewhere. Again, that's wonderful. Invest your money in the stock market. Put it into the British economy. Think of the massive increases we'll see in wages, and in business growth, and in employee productivity, and general job satisfaction. It'll be a golden age. And we won't need to hang a single person from a lamppost unless they really insist on it. It's the perfect plan.