I had a dream about insect bites yesterday. I was going to a mates house and for some reason I couldn't go because the prime ministers car was outside. I had to wait for Dave to go wherever he was going before I could leave. For some reason I was in a street in Padstow, where I've only been once. On the way I got attacked by insects, they bit a track up my arm in two parallel lines and all over one half of my face. For some reason I went to myates house afterwards, which was my old house, and there were three guys I know and an emotional girl I didn't recognise watching telly. She said 'thems epiculus antimony' or some ridiculous Latin name. I sat down on the sofa and woke up.

>>15248
Emo*

First day of the year I open the windows due to the heat was Saturday and within an hour a wasp had decided to land on my eyebrow.

I didn't move at all until it flew below to my chest. Then I screamed like a bitch as it held onto my shirt sleeve.

Fuck wasps.

My weather app says we're due a thunderstorm at noon tomorrow. Should be alright for a bit after that.

Yeah, I miss the winter, it's nice being able to cartwheel across an active volcano without so much as breaking a sweat. Also two big moths have shown up in my room and I'm all "WTF are you doing moths?" and they're all "*flapflapflap* I'm a moth".

Which is stupid because I asked the both of them so to reply in singular fashion like that is just taking the piss.

>>15250

I don't get why people are so scared of wasps. They're just like flies only cleaner/cooler looking. My dad goes mental and chases them around with the nearest broadsheet the second he sees one.

>>15252
>broadsheet
Can I be your friend?

Cunting hell, yes. Thank fuck there're showers at work because by the time I get to that air-conditioned haven I'm bathed in sweat. Though it's worse at night... in the morning I could be mistaken for having pissed the bed it's so moist. A couple more degrees and I'll have to get to flipping the blanket every hour to let one side dry out while I moisten up the other. Global warming is real.

>>15252
I... what? 'Just like flies'? You do know they sting, right?

>>15255
And don't dispose of carrion, shit or other undesirables, instead feasting on wood and nesting in things you like.

>>15255

Of course they sting you, the same way we fire Hellfire missiles at Godzilla. You're like a billion kilometers tall to them, you're a freaky bastard to a wasp. And flies crap on all your food, wasps just take little bites out of the really tasty stuff.

>>15253

Sure, I suppose.

>>15257
A wasp sting on my arm I can handle. But the fucker was near my eye. I'm a little unsure why I panicked when it was on my sleeve rather than my eyebrow but I don't want a stinger in my eye.

>>15258

Clearly he's been watching the recent episodes of Doctor Who that have been airing on BBC3, and had assumed all humans had little people living in their eyes. He was trying to say hello is all.

>>15254
Try using a bed sheet as a duvet, instead of a blanket.

>>15256
They don't eat shit, but do eat carrion. However, they more than make up for that by being bastards and eating fruit which I want to eat.

>>15251
This doesn't help. Not only do I have to go from being assaulted by the nighttime mothageddon, I then have to spend my subsequent nights curled in a ball of primal fear at the sound of the natural world reminding me hello I'm Mother Nature and I can fucking murder you any time I like.

>>15262

Your only hope is befriend the wasps, for they are the most fearsome warriors in all of nature.

Where the hell is this thunderstorm? My weather app had rain all over it and it's been dry as a bone all fucking day. So angry. And hot.

>>15264
Probably north of wherever you are, the rain has just started up Midlands way.

>>15263
Yeah, sure, let's cuddle the grenade with the pin just taken out of it, what could possibly go wrong.

>>15264
I'm in Wales and we had it yesterday daytime, I've not seen rain like it in fucking years. I was driving at the time and couldn't see a thing even with the wipers on max.

>>15263

The worst of it for me is getting my annual case of jungle arse. I wipe thoroughly and it itches and the sweatiness of the situation seems to make it even worse. I should really just get baby wipes.

>>15308
Wash your arse, you filthy infidel.

>>15263

Individually perhaps, but if we're talking about swarms I have to disagree.

https://www.youtube.com/v/K6m40W1s0Wc

https://www.youtube.com/v/qOe5Lmyyxiw

>>15310

The swarms are only so easily angered because when they send emissaries into our homes they're almost also murdered.

>>15311
Emissary? They bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my windowsills. They insult me, and they threaten my family with annoying buzzing sounds and stinging. They can come; I will paint my walls with their blood. THIS. IS. MY HOUSE.