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|>>|| No. 444219
I'm off to the corner shop to get some sweets. Do you lads want owt?
|>>|| No. 444296
I miss being able to skillfully transfer the gum from a Standard silver paper to the join between a "Three Skinner" to make a smoother toke with only two skins. Of course, this meant fuck-all because the spliff was still letting you suck in unfiltered Old Holborn with a rolled-up train ticket stuffed with a small concertina for support. But it looked like I cared.
|>>|| No. 444324
I skipped straight over the three-skin method and went directly to the two skin gum transfer technique you describe, because I had learned from watching an older and wiser stoner while I was baked. I practised at home and then one day I asked if I could roll, and stunned everyone with a smooth and elegant spliff.
I never used to like rolling for the group though, I'd feel their eyes upon me in anticipation while I preferred to take my time and craft it properly.
|>>|| No. 444362
I just went for buying rips and proper fag filter. It certainly made it rolling a lot easier and saved me from getting a gobful of Samson, Drum or whatever imported tobacco I was smoking at the time.
|>>|| No. 444377
I've only ever seen Panda Pops in bottles. Are you gaslighting me on my memory of trips to corner shops?
|>>|| No. 444378
You're just jealous because you missed out on investing in DogeDooDooShitCoin, it's going to make me a billionaire and I'll be driving a Lambo by next year, Diamond Hands HODL to the moon, bro.
|>>|| No. 444395
I know you're only mimicking the people who talk like that but nonetheless I want you to die a painful death now.
|>>|| No. 444396
Christ. What is it with Drum? How did they manage to make it taste like it did? I remember Marlboro used to do blacks, which reminded me very much of Drum but in real ciggy format. I actually quite liked those mind you.
Is it some specific type of leaf or what?
|>>|| No. 444397
>Is it some specific type of leaf or what?
My guess is it's smoked in some way. Though I've only ever smoked it when people on council estates in Byker have offered me 50g for a tenner. What a time to be alive.
|>>|| No. 446793
When I was younger you used to be able to get these lollies from the chemist that I'd say were hard boiled but were actually brittle and chewy. They weren't whistle lollies but were quite similar. Ribbed rectangular cuboids. I could really go for one of those right now, but I haven't seen them in donkeys.
|>>|| No. 446794
When I was younger, the chemist was the only place that sold Lucozade so I automatically associate it drinking it with getting better from something.
|>>|| No. 446797
When I was a kid and got sick my mum would bring me 2000AD magazine and a litre bottle of lucozade. Best drugs there is.
|>>|| No. 446800
I've noticed a lot of energy drinks taste distinctly medicinal. The last Monster or Relentless I bought tasted exactly like those synthetic-orange flavour soluble/effervescent vitamin C tables.
|>>|| No. 447096
They all borrow from Red Bull, which is a super cheap drink. So they replicate it and cash in by charging less. They may miss nuances, but ultimately there's a reason Red Bull brothers sponsors so much fringe shit. It's because if you shift enough cheap shit to make bank you can afford to do so to make sure you sell more cheap shit.
|>>|| No. 447099
It's psychological marketing. Most drugss could taste nice, but research shows that you get a weaker placebo effect because we subconsciously believe that nice-tasting drugs must be more effective. If an energy drink tastes slightly medicinal and unpleasant, then your subconscious assumes that you must be drinking it for the energising effect rather than simply the enjoyment of the drink and responds accordingly.
It's the same reason why Red Bull comes in a small can - the little can sends the subconscious message that it's very potent, like a shot of espresso or vodka. I'm not sure what's going on with the big cans of Monster and Relentless, but I assume there's a psychological effect from them a) being a different size to conventional soft drinks and b) being the same size as beer cans.
|>>|| No. 447106
>I'm not sure what's going on with the big cans of Monster and Relentless
I think the clue is in the names. And the imagery they use. And the way they prominently have ingredients called things like TAURINE and L-CARNITINE written on them in big letters. I imagine their marketing people wet themselves with glee every time a chemical (that's at the very least just not actively toxic) gets given a similarly macho or brutish name.
|>>|| No. 447107
Monster also has enough sugar in it to kill a diabetic, so it doesn't taste remotely drugsicinal. I think they're relying more on just the fact that sugar in such quantities is all but physically addictive to some people, and your inner child can't resist something so toe curlingly sweet. Everything else in life starts to feel a bit boring as you age and your senses dull, but a can of pop that's 85% sugar never fails to zap your tastebuds.
|>>|| No. 447109
The marketing of Yorkie always tickled me, as if there is anything innately macho about a lump of milk chocolate.
|>>|| No. 447110
>It's the same reason why Red Bull comes in a small can - the little can sends the subconscious message that it's very potent, like a shot of espresso or vodka
IIRC, when Gü were doing market research they found that the smaller they made their desserts the more luxurious people thought they were.
|>>|| No. 447111
Equally, the facebook page the google search for that image took me to had a commenter suggesting before that advertising campaign, men didn't eat chocolate and it was some sort of big turning point.
|>>|| No. 447119
I was about to say that's bollocks, because Yorkie was launched in the 70s, but maybe that's what they meant. Before that it was all Milkybar, Flake and Milk Tray.
The Secret World of Chocolate went into interesting detail about this. Rowntree's developed it in response to Dairy Milk reducing the size of its chunks, and the first adverts in the 70s featured lorry drivers having a Yorkie for lunch, as though its chunkiness is such it keeps you going all day. I guess over time that got generalised to just men.
Then Cadbury's launched Wispa to fuck over Aero, and their industry dominance was restored.
Anyway, I think anyone eating a Yorkie as a result of the marketing, of any gender, would have been very insecure indeed.
|>>|| No. 447121
The only person I know who eats Yorkies on a regular basis is one of the most insecure people I've ever met.
|>>|| No. 447122
I think Monster attracts people with its branding. I remember back when it first came out, I think they had varieties like 'Ripper' and 'Khaos' and 'Assault'. All with Call Of Duty XP boosts you could redeem from buying a can. I suppose that speaks volumes about the target market for Monster. In recent years they've done a lot more sugar free flavours, and the branding is less dudebroish, compared to Assault's digital camo design on the can. I think they're trying to move away from 15 year olds drinking it between quickscope headshots on Hijacked, and calling team mates "faggots".
|>>|| No. 447123
>the first adverts in the 70s featured lorry drivers having a Yorkie for lunch, as though its chunkiness is such it keeps you going all day. I guess over time that got generalised to just men.
Very strange, and I could be way off with this, but it kind of smacks of female marketers writing for what they imagine men want to hear. Marketing it as a substantially filling complement to a lunch makes a lot more sense.
If it were up to me Yorkie adverts would show people mountaineering and shit. Try to market it as Kendall mint cake but that you can buy from a corner shop.
|>>|| No. 447124
If the blurb on the side of their cans is to be believed, they are after people who do either extreme sports, or the sort of sports you do if you are blonde, have abs, and are from california. Sl it's still a bit bro-ish, but a slightly less offensive type than you describe. They sponsor race cars and surfers and skaters and all that, and talk on the can about how they developed x flavour for their snowboard team and shit like that.
I don't know what it means, I've always bought it because it tastes nicer than red bull, has about the same energising effect for me per 100ml, and you get more of it for your money. But marketing doesn't always work on me because I'm a weird cynical britfa on the spectrum.
|>>|| No. 447127
Remember that pretty much all other chocolate is marketed to women. I eat more chocolate than the rest of you combined, if your weird pro-ana diet threads are anything to go by, and I can assure you that it feels weird to buy a Galaxy. They're delicious, but the messaging is that they don't want me; I don't belong in their customer base. Eating an Aero bar is like needing a scarf and putting on a feather boa. I eat Aero bars anyway because they're amazing, but not all chunky gluttons are as secure as I am. Yorkie bars were the only bar for 50% of the population. Unless you just do what any normal person does and eat the genderless ones that don't even need to advertise, like Club bars.
|>>|| No. 447128
Monster sponsored the barber shop I used to go to. They had a Monster mini fridge and would always offer me a can when I went in. It's weird how an obnoxious energy drink is also somehow a lifestyle brand.
|>>|| No. 447129
Nothing like a nice pint of jitter-inducing diuretic when you're sitting still under a blanket for half an hour.
|>>|| No. 447131
>It's weird how an obnoxious energy drink is also somehow a lifestyle brand
It's not really worse than Red Bull owning two formula one teams, at least four football clubs and whatever else they get up to.
|>>|| No. 447134
It's not, but also it is because their entire audience is gamers who commodify shit sleeping patterns and blokes in Oakley sunglasses.
|>>|| No. 447183
I don't know if they still do this but I got into Yorkies because they used to give you a bar in army ration packs when I was a youth. Keep in mind these all tasted gone-off because they had a different recipe but like biscuit-brown al pate or those mystery fish sandwiches it was really fucking nice to eat in some godforsaken forest.
Still pick up a Yorkie egg every Easter if I can and I'm convinced they deliver the most chocolate for your money of the branded eggs.
|>>|| No. 447198
>If it were up to me Yorkie adverts would show people mountaineering and shit.
Before a last-minute change Yorkie was going to be called 'Trek', and its first advert was to feature, yep, mountaineers.
>I got into Yorkies because they used to give you a bar in army ration packs
Another proposed name for what became Yorkie was Rations.
Seriously you two, watch that documentary, it's quite entertaining.
>I can assure you that it feels weird to buy a Galaxy
The only thing weird about it to me it that's it's marketed as a high-quality sophisticated bar, but it tastes like crap.
|>>|| No. 447244
Well all this Yorkie talk has me thinking. I've not had chocolate for a while, just good chocolate on it's own. What's your favourite choccy lads?
I'm the lad who was really disappointed by a Tony's Chocolonely. I thought it tasted exactly like the naff generic chocolate you get in advert calendars and such, so I fail to see how it's ended up with a reputation for being good. If it wasn't for the fact the Yanks fucked with the recipe I would have honestly said my favourite chocolate was a simple, no nonsense Dairy Milk. Now that that's a thing of the past, I'm not sure. I'd have to go with something like Lindt, they do that really nice extra creamy milk chocolate; but it only comes in tiny bars that cost about four quid and that's no good at all for a chocolate binge.
Anything by Mars or Nestle is shite. Stuff like KitKats and Snickerses and so on are perfectly fine confectionary treats, but it's largely because chocolate isn't the central focus. Similarly all American chocolate is shite, and I don't know how they fuck it up so badly when considering what a nation of lard-arsees they are, usually their junk food is incredible.
If I wanted to be a snob about it I'd say I do like dark chocolate better than milk chocolate; but you don't tend to want to binge on it, and it's much harder to fuck up. Anything from a Bournville to one of those fancy 70% Lindt bars will do the trick. I like to let dark chocolate slowly melt in my mouth while I sip on a coffee, but if I want to just sit and eat a kilo of chocolate, it'd be milk chocolate.
|>>|| No. 447245
Re: the American shite. A friend of mine said that it's due to there not actually being enough cocoa solids in the recipes, they sub in more oils to make something that can survive winter in Fargo, ND, as well as summer in Phoenix, AZ. I don't know how much credence I place in that tidbit, given that the country is absolutely massive and there's regional versions of some things, but deffo in the case of the popular chocolate bars I can see how it might work out. They apparently aren't even legally allowed to call it chocolate since it contains so little chocolate, they've instead to label it "chocolate flavoured candy".
As for a favourite, I'm with you on the pre-tampering Dairy Milk, and Bournville was a favourite of mine as a young lad. These days I couldn't tell you what my choice would be if I just wanted a solid bar of the good stuff. Probably I'd scope out a proper chocolatier?
|>>|| No. 447251
I thought it's the cocoa fats that they take out not the solids, because they're somewhat unstable and cause that white fuzz that forms on the surface of the chocolate as temperatures change.
The cheap and nasty (But shelf stable) chocolates tend to be a blend of cocoa solids + sugar + hard vegetable oils like palm. Good chocolate is just cocoa solids + cocoa butter.
Then there's the American style milk chocolates like hersheys that taste like sick. This goes back to the days before refrigeration, if you wanted some milk you could get a few bottles locally, but for people trying to set up factories to produce chocolate in industrial quantities there was no way of getting enough milk without it spoiling. So someone invented a method of intentionally souring milk to stabilise it long enough to fill lorry loads and get it to the factory but the result is that flavour that makes it into the chocolate.
So because Hersheys was the only chocolate that could be made cheaply in vast quantities, it completely overtook the market and people just learnt that was how chocolate was meant to taste.
|>>|| No. 447252
>What's your favourite choccy lads?
My favourite chocolate bar was Boost but I haven't had one in yonks so I'm now convinced if I have one I'll be disappointed because they've probably changed the recipe for the worse since then. I used to be quite partial to a Picnic bar but they've definitely fucked them up.
I think the only chocolate bar I have semi-regularly that they haven't fucked up is the red Bounty, but you can't really fuck up coconut and dark chocolate.
|>>|| No. 447253
I ruined Kitkats for myself by over-analysing them. I no longer experience them as Kitkats but as wafer coated thinly with chocolate. It's really nothing like as good.
|>>|| No. 447268
>My favourite chocolate bar was Boost
The Monster energy drink of chocolate bars. Do you have any teeth?
|>>|| No. 447270
>What's your favourite choccy lads?
Ritter Sport's for blocks - you get a decent portion so you don't feel sick with yourself afterwards yet it's good quality chocolate. There are lots of varieties but I like the rum raisin.
Topic for bars - it's okay and eating one (1) doesn't take up 350% of your daily sugar quota.
What is it with Eastern Europeans and wafer chocolate, does having the chocolate padded with cardboard remind them of communism?
|>>|| No. 447272
Think they're called Princess bars, Eastern European snack with a wafer covered in white chocolate but there's also coconut. Very nice. The ones with advocat inside are not so nice, and require age verification due to high alcohol content.
|>>|| No. 447274
Take a KitKat and gently bite into it lengthways rotated on its side, so your teeth separate the layers of the wafer. Inside the wafer you'll find a dark beige paste. Scrape it off and eat it on its own. It's fucking magic.
|>>|| No. 447294
I don't know if this is public knowledge, but part of what's in that paste is other kit kats, ones that come off the line too knackered to be sold. The rest is just regular chocolate paste and sugar.
|>>|| No. 447382
Perhaps instead of raising taxes, politicians could just do product placement deals and advertise snack foods?
|>>|| No. 447384
I want to drill a hole in his skull, pour in the Sprite and plug it with half of the Twix.
|>>|| No. 447387
Evidently of no concern to him, as Chancellor of the fucking Exchequer, that he will have had to pay the best part of a quid for that Twix.
He might have brown skin but he's still a privileged enough little fucker not to notice that a chocolate bar costs twice what it should these days.
|>>|| No. 447400
I wish I knew British sign language. I bet it's a bastard to keep practice but makes for a nice side gig. Plus if I wanted to be BRILLIANT and deny disabled people access to the news I could just sign 'bollocks' again and again.
|>>|| No. 447409
For the benefit of people who don't know, full-on BSL uses movement and facial expressions as well as hand gestures. Non-manual aspects are sign language equivalents to tone and emphasis in spoken language.
|>>|| No. 447415
I think I'm going to order a big fuckoff bag of those things from the OP pic, honestly.
|>>|| No. 447416
I like the rhubarb and custard ones that look similar, but they're all pink and yellow and green. My parents once got me a kilo box of those from Makro for Christmas.
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