The only sin I can imagine the past 18 months has enabled is rampant onanism.

Sometimes when my girlfriend asks me to make her a hot chocolate I've started to do a little piss in it after adding the powder.

I coveted my neighbour's oxen.

Since the end of lockdown I've started chatting up lassies again, and it seems I'm in demand to Eastern European girls right now. Not complaining mind, but it's like busses, I've always fancied one, but after a decade of nothing I get two at once.

Thing is I'm not even actively angling to fuck them; they seem like earnestly very good company even if I don't try dive into an affair... But nevertheless. I doubt my missus would be pleased, and I don't know if I'll be able to resist if it goes that way.

You know how it is, lads. Erm, I mean, father.

I’m responsible for highly compromising research material for at least three PhDs, possibly to the point of invalidating it. Why? Because I’m pathologically lazy, a narcissist and will do almost anything in the hope of sexual gratification.

>>446195
You've always fancied buses?

>>446206
Academia is all just networking anyway. Nobody will care but you. If anything, sexual gratification is a cornerstone of PhD studies.

>>446206

I was similiarly lazy with my master's dissertation in service management. By and large, it fulfilled all the formal criteria to be above average but unremarkable, but my method was generally to find facts and sources and throw them around to corroborate my preconceived notions. With the exception of a few well-known works by renowned authors in a field, which you have to get right text- and tonality wise, nobody who grades your paper will bother to check if you misquoted or misrepresented a reference in a slightly obscure journal, periodical or newspaper.

But I guess that's one reason why other people's dissertations were not deemed permissible sources for my own thesis. I'm sure I wasn't the first person in the world to more or less pull it out of my arse. The guidelines expressly stated that anything below the level of a doctoral thesis was not credible enough to be used as a reference.

I’ve booked a sex holiday.

>>446216

Imagine having so much sex you'd need to book a holiday from it. Impressive, lad.

>>446217
I used to work with a woman who went to Barbados at least once a year to get fucked by black men. She was in her sixties and had a massive picture of Didier Drogba topless on her desk.

>>446218
>I used to work with a woman who went to Barbados at least once a year to get fucked by black men.

I've got some respect for this though - I've read a few articles, and there are a couple of scientific studies written about it - I find it strangely fascinating.

There's a dodgy massage place down the street that is almost certainly dishing out tug-jobs. I sometimes fantasise about my fiancée being away for long enough that I can go and get a handy from a Chinese lady.

>>446221

Would she really be that suspicious if you went out for an hour or so?

>>446222
I don't think it'd last an hour from a professional tugger.

>>446221

Same, but the one near mine is run by Thais, so I can give the Lady a handjob in return.

>>446218

I’m curious as to how you know this?

>>446225

A massive picture of Didier Drogba topless would be rather difficult to miss.

>>446225
She sat next to me. As >>446226 said, it was pretty hard to miss.

>>446227

Sure, but it’s quite a big leap to get from her having a topless picture to being a full on sex tourist.

>>446228
She told me about it. She's also had sex in a bank vault.

>>446229

What’s the backstory? She’s a divorced/widowed swinger? Is she attractive?

>>446219

Wasn’t Phil’s mum like that?

>>446222
Her being gone is a specific part of the fantasy.

>>446230
She had been married but was now either divorced or widowed; I can't remember the specifics because it's more than 10 years since I worked with her.

She wasn't attractive, just a short and unassuming slightly plump woman in her early sixties that you wouldn't really suspect of this sort of thing.

>>446219
I've been meaning to complain about this being a feature of the dating scene in the city.

The place is full of foreign professional women who have come over for a year or two, usually around age 30. Australians, Americans, Canadians, the usual suspects who can get a visa. Sure they like my working class Brummie accent and eccentric mannerisms, it sounds all well and good, but ultimately it's dehumanising when you realise you're just some girls fantasy of an Englishman off the telly. I can't help but become a bit xenophobic about the whole thing or at least unwilling to see them as anything more than a cheap shag.

It reminds me of living with black immigrants and when we'd go to an African dancehall club there would be middle aged white women everywhere. They weren't looked upon kindly.

>>446234
It's hard to sympathise with you having easy access to horny 30-year-olds from across the Anglosphere.

>>446234

I found similar when I spent some time in New York. I have a geordie accent, but the amount of septic lasses who said I sounded like royalty - fucking hell.

I was young enough and horny enough to enjoy it though. I was using them as much they were me.

>>446235
I just want a British lass, I know it's controversial but it's a strangely lonely life where I only interact with other British people at work.

>>446233
>She wasn't attractive, just a short and unassuming slightly plump woman in her early sixties
Careful, you'll get otherlad going again.

>>446236
>I was using them as much they were me
That accurately describes my first year in the US also. Being a Brit out here really is as good as that scene from Love Actually where Kris Marshall gets his end away in the most basic local pub in Wisconsin.

>>446238
>I want a British lass
Better you than me.

>>446234
Imagine being black, and they say "Oh you sound so British..."

I'm from fucking Croydon you bitch. I ate free school meals so that I could sell my soul to the fucking big 4 accounting firms, you dumb American slag. I am an inch away from stabbing you.

>>446241
That's the kind of classic English patter they love though, mate. There's no winning.

>>446240
>Better you than me.

Says the man dicking about with American women. Has their odd tinge of condescending cruelty towards anyone with vulnerability come out yet?

>>446253

>Has their odd tinge of condescending cruelty towards anyone with vulnerability come out yet?

Have you never met a tory voter?

>>446255
Exactly, you meet an American who calls themselves left but that basically boils down to healthcare reform and whatever daft culture war bullshit the Democrats are pushing.

>>446255

Even the progressive Yanks are to the right of Tories, and their women are absolutely Darwinistic in their choice of mate.

They can't help it, it's been seared into them by the world's most aggressive propaganda machine, but still. It's quite a thing to witness when one of them lets her Disney Princess facade drop and you see her true colours.

>>446258
>Even the progressive Yanks are to the right of Tories

I am so SICK of reading this shit here. Fuck off.

>>446290
What are you sick of and why? That statement seems to be fairly apt if you look at issues other than IDpol. Criticism of the tory party as of late is focused on them being too weak on immigration, social funding, taxes, NHS, etc.

>>446297
Where is the socialist wing of the Tory party? Where are all the monarchists on the progressive left in the U.S?

I look forward to you not responding and then making the same point again in another thread that has nothing to do with politics in a few weeks.

>>446307
>Where is the socialist wing of the Tory party?
The Labour front bench.

Look, someone was going to say it, so I figured I'd spout it like a tired meme before anyone could say it seriously.

>>446307
Where is the socialist wing of the democrats? They can't even get Bernie to lead them.

>Where are all the monarchists on the progressive left in the U.S?

They're the one's arguing for more presidential powers.

>>446307

I think all americans are monarchists, if we're talking about the british monarchy, which is the only way that question even remotely makes sense.

>>446307

Show me one thing, even one thing, a sigle fucking vermicelli noodle hair thin strand of policy, from the Democrats that amounts to anything further than the centre.

The Democrats are right wing. Americans don't have a right to paid holiday time, a respectable minimum wage, healthcare, unemployment insurance, pension, any of it. None of those things are policy for either of the mainstream political parties in America. They are right wing.

It's a valid statement, and as far as the attitudes of American people themselves go, even more true. The only way you can remotely argue that anything about American politics is even vaguely left is in relativity to the fact their Overton window is about thirty kilometres to the right to begin with.

You dick.

>>446314
https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Executive_Order_on_Increasing_the_Minimum_Wage_for_Federal_Contractors

>>446316
What does that even answer?

>>446316
Aye, but they're still a bunch of fucking Yanks hahaha.

>>446317
It's a si(n)gle fucking vermicelli noodle hair thin strand of polic(y).

>>446319

It's a very thin strand of policy though - a minimum wage just for people who work (directly or indirectly) for the federal government doesn't cover all that many people. A minimum wage of £10.92 sounds fairly generous, but after tax and healthcare costs it works out to considerably less than the British minimum wage.

>>446307
I don't know what you expect. Someone makes a general statement and you flounce in with "My projection onto this general statement makes me so angry!" and then share that, but nothing else, nothing worth discussing. We're not your facebook feed, would you mind posting some interesting content if you're going to take up a post number? Getting pissy at people who are at least attempting to help you elucidate what you're thinking just makes you look like a div. You've still not elaborated on what you believe or why.

>>446316

If that doesn't prove the point I don't know what does. Vermicelli noodle indeed.

>>446321
>a minimum wage just for people who work (directly or indirectly) for the federal government doesn't cover all that many people
You'd be surprised how many it would cover, but the main reason this exists is that it's entirely within the power of the executive and doesn't require legislation to be dragged through a Congress that is probably the least productive it's ever been.

I've recently worked out I quite enjoy dressing a bit more girly.
Not unusual, but i'm a 35 year old bloke with a ZZ Top beard.

>>446494

Define “a bit”? You mean you are actually cross dressing or is it just emo eyeliner etc?

>>446495
According to the missus I've started dressing like teenage girl. Skinny jeans, plaid shirts etc. Probably having a midlife moment.

>>446497

>Skinny jeans, plaid shirts etc.

That's just how every mid twenties bearded man dressed five years ago, I think you'll be fine.

>>446497

I'm 30 and that's pretty much all my wardrobe is. My fashion sense hasn't really moved past 1994.

>>447176
Given you were a toddler in 1994, do you also still have the standard issue bowl cut or curtains hairstyle of children at the time?