>>448866
I was going to make a weekend thread but now that's out the bloody window.

I'm going to the shops to buy credit for my phone, because it's 2007 apparently.

>>448868
You snooze, you lose.

Playing lad2 all afternoon probably. Then Going out for a bit of a pub crawl.

>>448871
> lad2
That's sounds very carpet-baggery. I meant lad2 (Left 4 Dead 2)

>>448872
Oh, I see what's happened there.

A friend of mine is DJing at a retro indie night, and I said I'd go. He's part of the social group where absolutely all of them have visible autism, and a few of the social ringleaders don't like this sort of music and refuse to go anywhere except the same places they go every week, so they might not be there. I invited a friend I haven't seen for several years, and she's in a different social group, but I haven't heard back yet because she has issues of her own. I am man enough to go out on my own, so if it happens, it happens, but there's a lot of retro indie music I don't like either, so I guess we'll see.

Drink, play some board games, drink some more, play DnD, then more board games.

>>448875
What counts as retro indie music?

>>448877
Erm, lots of bands I haven't heard of, but also The Smiths, The Clash, the Waterboys, and a load of heavy metal. It's basically whatever he has on vinyl. No New Model Army, I don't think.

I had to drive up and down a substantial chunk of the A1 today.

The A1 is a particularly grim road at the best of times, it always feels like it exists in a sort of pocket dimension that's perpetually stuck in 1963, exclusively joining up the most forgettable, least scenic, semi-rural shitholes the country has to offer. It's like the spartan concrete service corridors in a shopping centre or airport, as opposed to the nice welcoming main thoroughfare of the M1.

Anyway that would be enough to make me miserable about it, but it was pissing it down so thoroughly most of the way that visibility was almost entirely obscured, and traffic was forced to slow to 40-50 at the most daring. So that's three and a bit hours of my life I'll never get back.

>>448879
>The A1 is a particularly grim road at the best of times, it always feels like it exists in a sort of pocket dimension that's perpetually stuck in 1963, exclusively joining up the most forgettable, least scenic, semi-rural shitholes the country has to offer.

The A1 is parallel to what was the Great North Road, which was the main route from Edinburgh to London from Roman times until the 20th century.

>>448879

>The A1 is a particularly grim road at the best of times, it always feels like it exists in a sort of pocket dimension that's perpetually stuck in 1963

That's exactly why I love the A1. It's the backbone of Britain, for better and for worse. Britain is supposed to be shit. Drizzle, melancholy and pervasive greyness are a fundamental part of our national character.

I messed up my sleep cycle with all the time off and now I need to stay up for the next 24 hours to put it right. This is not just because I have work on Monday but I'm also supposed to be going out for dinner afterwards that a bird has booked.

I've been trying to sort it for the past few days but I find it gets harder and harder as you get old and once day breaks. Any tips?

>>448879
Surely this is confirmation that the entire country is like that, given the length of the A1? It's not like skirting around Manchester and driving over Birmingham would change the impression you'd get very much. Though I was a little awe struck when I saw Manchester while up in the Penines, looked unbelievably small from up there.

>>448875
I went. It was very good, but I wouldn't recommend doing what I did. My friend the DJ did all his DJing, and as it turns out, the post-punk he played didn't really need the "post-". I have nothing against music I've never heard before, but I do need to like it. I recognised this song, and noticed that all the other songs he played basically sounded the same, if anyone would like to pretend they were there with me:

Of all our other friends who went, there was literally one. She's very cool and the least autistic one, but she thought nobody else would go so she brought some Tinder date with her. Meaning that I had two people there that I knew, both of whom I avoided so as not to get in their way. Because I'm nice. Have you ever been on a night out by yourself, to a nightclub that mostly plays music you hate? It's a challenge. The music got more normal as the night went on (Rock Lobster by the B-52s!!!!!!!!), but by that point the feeling that I was just in the way and depressing everyone was wearing on me, and I went home. Now I'm here to tell you about it. A gay guy chatted me up, despite me being profoundly un-gay, so I guess that's something at least. I'm not completely alone because I'm worthless, or repellent, or lacking in charm; I'm just utterly and irredeemably cursed.

But like I say. Rock Lobster. What a fucking banger.

>>448897

Nah, there's something quite specific about the A1. The main stretch of it of it south of Leeds and north of London, anyway- The bits above the are proper modern motorway and actually quite nice, because it goes up alongside the Moors, and then beyond Newcastle it's a really very scenic coastal drive in places.

But that main stretch along Britain's neglected interior... Maybe it's because of how it sits in relation to my own personal internal sense of geography and concept of home (I'm one of the resident Beestonlads so I grew up nestled between the M1 and M62, access north south east and west lay at my doorstep which gave me a big sense of freedom as a younger lad when I first started driving), but it feels like it's really uniquely desolate, like it's in the middle of nowhere despite connecting a lot of places. It's straddled by phone masts, electricity pylons, dotted by really tatty old brutalist concrete bridges from the 60s, it's got all these really dodgy little petrol stations and cafes just right at the side of the road...

It's just weird.

>>448899

That stretch of the A1 has three sex shops in former branches of Little Chef. Could anything be more emblematic of Shit Britain?

Parents have asked me to sit their dog whilst they go away for a couple of days. They left the house at 7.30 and it has done nothing but scream and wail since then. Horrible thing; it's a whippet so it's not even cute or cuddly -- it's just a skeleton with anxiety. And now I've got to pick up its shit.

>>448900
It must be a business model for them. There were two Little Chefs on the A63 near Hull; the westbound one is now a sex shop but the eastbound one has been empty for about 10 years.

>>448901

I hope you got the dog to calm down. If you can, take it out somewhere and exercise it. Distraction can help with separation anxiety.

Also show a bit more compassion, as far as that dog is concerned the points on which every aspect of its existence hinge just wandered off and might never be seen again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEs-BiVSG30

Judi Love again. She's everywhere.

>>448903
Nah, sod that. Same thing happened to me and it's a fucking bollock.

It's the owners fault - in our case this was the second time in a year the dog had been at our flat, and the owner didn't even leave & come back a couple of times to show it was okay, she didn't leave us any sentimental dog items, she just dropped the dog off and pissed off. And we've spent a lot of time at her flat with this dog and she knows us well, but she was still a fucking wreck and shat everywhere. It's her owner's fault but we can still vent at, or about, the dog because it's just a dog and it can't hear you, or read your chatlogs.

That lad's well within his rights to be fucked off about this. It's bloody annoying.

>>448902
There's also a sex shop former little chef on the A38 before Burton

>>448904

She's represented by Off The Kerb, who also represent deep breath:

Alan Carr, Andy Parsons, Angela Barnes, Dara O'Briain, Jack Dee, Jessica Knappett, Jo Brand, Jon Richardson, Jonathan Ross, Josh Widdicombe, Kerry Godliman, Kevin Bridges, Marcus Brigstocke, Michael McIntyre, Phill Jupitus, Rob Beckett, Romesh Ranganathan, Rosie Jones, Russell Kane, Sean Lock (RIP), Simon Evans, Suzi Ruffell and Tom Allen.

IMO Judi Love is being prepared for an attempt to break America. Gina Yashere struggled a bit over here, but she's absolutely massive in the US. Judi Love is a bit brash and annoying for British tastes, but I think she could do well in the US. Shoehorning her onto our telly is just a warm-up, like a promising young striker going on loan to a Championship club for a couple of seasons.

>>448907
>Rosie Jones

Is she the disabled one? I've no idea who she is but my girlfriend had a right rant about her the other day, saying she isn't funny and people in the audience aren't laughing because they think she's funny but because they're patronising her and thinking "aww, isn't she going well for a disabled person!" like when you see basic white girls telling someone horribly disfigured how beautiful they are in order to stroke their own ego about how lovely they are. Apparently she was very good in the Joe Lycett thing checking out disability friendly gyms but I have absolutely no idea who she is so can't say.

>>448905
>It's her owner's fault but we can still vent at, or about, the dog because it's just a dog and it can't hear you, or read your chatlogs.

Dogs are pretty good at sensing human moods through facial expressions and tone of voice. They might pick up on the unease or annoyance.

I agree it's the owner's fault and they could have done more, but the dog shouldn't have to take the brunt of this if the dogsitter can help it.

Maybe it's just because I love dogs and see their vulnerabilities, but I do everything I can for them if I'm asked to take care of them.

>>448908
Yes, she's the disabled one. I wasn't really a fan until I saw her on The Last Leg during the Paralympics, where she made some impressively offensive jokes because she can obviously get away with them when most other people couldn't. In one episode, she said she was so inspired to see athletes with cerebral palsy that she wished the Paralympics could be only for people with cerebral palsy, and that she wants all other disabled people to be rounded up and killed. She said that! In almost those exact words!

I mean, I assume she did. It all just sounded like bluh-bluh-bluh to me.

>>448910

>Dogs are pretty good at sensing human moods through facial expressions and tone of voice. They might pick up on the unease or annoyance.

Seconded. I greatly dislike dogs, but they only become more annoying if you let it show. If you exude calm and stillness, they'll usually follow suit.

>>448911

Her "the wobbly girl is actually an awful bastard" schtick is consistently amusing and her comic timing is extraordinarily precise. She has really thought about how her particular speech patterns work comedically and uses her slow pace to really hammer a punchline home. She's occasionally a bit hack and could do with more live experience, but she's fundamentally talented. Also she's got a cracking pair of tits.

>>448913
I think she could be funny, she has decent material, but unfortunately her comic timing is, for obvious reasons beyond her control, pants.

>>448913
>Also she's got a cracking pair of tits.

Give it 30 years and she'll start looking like Ruth Goodman.

>>448914
If you watch a slightly longer stand-up set you'll see that a lot of material is subverting the punchline because it takes her so long to get to it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKkMZz1Uxgk

I think she's alright, based on those two clips. Fuck knows what my girlfriend's got against her.

>>448915

>Fuck knows what my girlfriend's got against her.

Did you tell her you'd had a wank to her, by any chance?

>>448902

I wonder if they actually do better business this way than at a more regular central, urbanised location? I would theorise people are more comfortable with the idea of going to a sex shop when it's on a laybay off some godforsaken bit of the A1 near Donny, than when it's on a normal street in town where people will see them going in.

>>448917

>"The [shops] are good for a number of reasons," said Graham Kidd, one of the directors of Pulse & Cocktails, which has been in business for 21 years. "They have good car parking, they are high profile and they are discreet - you're not likely to run into your neighbour inside.

>"We can never get away from the fact that we are British and everyone is frightened to death of being seen going into a local adult store, but if they are 100 miles from home they have the confidence to go in."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-48387010

Basically, you're spot on.

>>448916
I haven't bashed one out over her, but it looks like she does have the chin for it.

I don't think women are the best judges of comedy. My friend's girlfriend is a fan of Amy Schumer, not because she thinks she's actually funny but because she's unattractive so feels like she's unthreatening.

I went on a bit of a catch up with YouTubers who I used to watch but whom The Almighty Algorithm has stopped showing me. One of those is Lindsay Ellis; and it turns out she has been cancelled over some incredibly petty twitter bollocks.

I told you, lads. I remember saying it would inevitably happen to her, but you said I was being daft. Well, I was right, wasn't I. I told you so. Nyer nyer, take that.

>>448920
Yeah it's sad. Was the Raya/Avatar comparison the one that cemented her as a racist worthy of being trolled off the internet? Or am I missing another gaffe?

>>448918

Also I'd expect they sell a lot of porn and wank sleeves to truckers.

>>448921

Mainly that from what I can tell, I haven't delved too deeply but it looks like she dug herself pretty deep pretty quickly and ended up pulling a classic DeviantArt style "quitting the internet forever!1!" over it.

She's a smart girl, so presumably she had the sense to realise the smart thing to do is turn the gun on yourself, before the more committed mentalists out there start digging every long forgotten skeleton out of your closet. Everyone has something to hide if you look hard enough.

>>448921
That was the one she responded to with a long video atoning for all her past sins though wasn't it? No I think this was about something else.

>>448921
>>448924

>>448921

In her own words, that "banal" take on a Disney movie "napalmed her life". So, yeah, while there's probably a lot more to it I will never care enough to find out, it looks like she really did throw it all in the shitter over a daft tweet.

It's like I said in the first place.

>One of these days, thought Winston with sudden deep conviction, Syme will be vaporized.

It's 10:10am on Monday and none of you lazy fuckers have bothered making the new weekday thread you kept saying you would. Honestly, this place would fall apart without me.

>>448928
None of us are Monday morning people.

I've just seen an advert for vegan chips. Why have they got to ruin chips by making them vegan?

>>449035
Why are you watching adverts, thicky?

>>449036
I've never bothered with any form of adblock for my phone.

>>449037
Shut up, bitch.

>>449038
Why?

>>449035

How dare they not prepare these vegetables in dirty bacon fat with crumbs of carbon.

>>449040

Wrong thread. FUCK. I'm going back to bed.

>>449041
Which other thread was talking about vegetables?

>>448915

>Ruth Goodman

She's a bit weatherbeaten, but have you seen that woman churn butter?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9zf0KK4EEw

Cor.

>>449043

Brian, you dopey twat - you've broken my embed and now you won't let me delete the post. Keep on like this and you're going into a home for befuddled imageboard backends.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9zf0KK4EEw

>>449044

Oh for fuck's sake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9zf0KK4EEw

I've recently got into learning about a lot of tech related areas, I've been fully engrossed in linux, python, cloud, raspberry pi, mac os superuser stuff, networking.

What kind of job would encompass these areas? Sounds a bit weird but I've particularly enjoyed my time with linux and diagnosing obscure issues, learning about log files, writing little bash/python scripts to help me automate or monitor things, playing with aws free tier to make fun things and generally just tinkering. I don't really know the tech industry at all, and I'm a late starter clearly, but I'm getting lost in this stuff for hours. I wish I had focused on it when I was younger.

>>449045
Nah you do it like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9zf0KK4EEw

Bloody Wolves, dirty cheating bastards.

You embed it like this.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9zf0KK4EEw

>>449046
Sysadmin.

>>449050
Or devops. If you don't already have a good job it's worth having a look at what they're asking for on stackoverflow job adverts and learn those things. You could break into the field professionally.

>>449050
>>449051
Problem is I'm 30 and without any relevant experience. I look at all these kids online with certifications at 20 and think what chance do I have really? From what I gather the A+ certification is a good place to start.

>>449052
DevOps is what you want; it's a fairly new thing that combines being the office IT guy with also doing programming. But you might struggle, because since someone invented a "do everything" job, a lot of those jobs pay a lot, and if you're new you might need to start out doing something more plebeian.

Personally, I got the CompTIA A+, and it helped me absolutely sail into IT support. From there, you will be exposed to more specialised fields (networking? Cloud? Operating systems? Bug testing? Security?) and you can choose which one to get better at. I was probably 27 or 28 when I got my CompTIA A+, and it absolutely is the best place to start, but be warned that it basically just teaches computer repair, so you might get bored. There is no programming at all, but you do get things like DNS, DHCP, different types of IP addresses, and stuff like that.

Do NOT listen to other people online telling you that you need 500 certifications. I don't understand these people, but I think they can't do anything with their lives and have tried to redefine the IT sector as totally impossible to justify their own NEETness to themselves. Were you looking on 4chan's /g/? Leave there immediately. It's a shithole. Nobody there knows anything. People are more likely to pursue programming as a hobby without ever having a job, and lo and behold, /g/ always talks about programming and knows absolutely nothing about, say, web hosting or VMware. I understand I am going off on a bit of a tangent here, but you must never listen to them.

Back to my original point, you do need experience to get a good job anyway, because certifications will only take you so far. Get the A+ and you're fine for starting. You could get another one if you want, but my prediction is you won't want to, at least not yet. Anyone, and I do mean anyone, who says you shouldn't even apply to even the most basic job without a CCNA, CCNP, Security+ and VCP, is a fucking NEET failure who doesn't understand a damn thing. They sit at home and try to discourage you, because they are pathetic themselves. I would happily gas every last one of these fuckers to death and look them in the eyes as I do it.

Go ahead and get started. Worry about more specialised things later on.

>>449052
Also, if you want to check out the CompTIA A+, there's a website called Professor Messer which teaches you it for free. I wouldn't recommend only using that website and nothing else, but it might work.
https://www.professormesser.com

Be warned: it is harder and more boring than you currently expect it to be. This is why others quit.

Cold Domino's pizza with a big tub of garlic mayo dip for breakfast.

Polished off the better part of half a bottle of Jack last night, surprisingly don't feel rough at all. I think I've re-learned one of the most fundamental aspects of my body- I don't get hungover on spirits. When I was a younglad I could hardly tolerate lager or ales and I'd be chucking up within a couple of pints; as an adult I've mostly got over that and I tend to go for ales and wine when I drink. But the hangovers are increasingly brutal as I crossed the 30 year old barrier.

Funny how a taste stays with you though, just drinking a bit of crap Yank whiskey mixed with the over-sweet fizz of cola takes me back nearly fifteen years and makes me feel like I'm back in that time.

>>449046
That's called being a Platform Engineer, which is the more modern and grammatically correct version of being called a DevOps Engineer.

Focus on a first-class scripting language, like Python or Go. Download Terraform, or if really advanced, Pulumi and get a free AWS account. You can learn and do everything on a raspberry pi.

Depending on your learning style (I prefer not to learn from video, but lots do) I can recommend educative.io - if you prefer reading/doing as a learning style, I think it's the best one out there.

>>449053
Thanks a lot for the advice, I'll be heading down the A+ route for sure now. And yes, I posted on /g/ because I was told they knew their stuff but I'll avoid, thanks for the heads up. My biggest preference is doing Unix stuff I think, and looking into the workings of the OS - maybe that OS path is one to keep an eye out for.

>>449056
Hmm interesting, thanks a lot, I'll check those websites out and have a read into platform engineering.

My main path of learning right now is this 100 days of Python course I'm doing, (which has been great), and getting lost in a rabbit hole of googling error messages and reading on this website - https://unix.stackexchange.com/

Went Hurricane Rooms last night, and we created a multiplayer pool game which, after some light research, appears to be a variation of 'Cutthroat Pool' mixed with Killer. It seems obvious but I can't find any evidence of its existence.

You can play a max of 7 players, and each player picks a colour which is theirs for the duration. Start with three lives, pot your own and gain a life, pot someone else and they lose a life. Any time you pot a ball, you take it out of pocket and put it back on either the black spot or the white spot alternating. If they're occupied then you just place it a couple of inches off the spot towards the cushion.

We played it as black being an instant death, but no-one potted it over 3 hours so maybe that rule needs altering, IMO we could have come up with something more useful for black, maybe even something boring like a free ball.

Other than that; potting white loses a life, potting either your own ball or opponents ball gives you another shot, so there's a decent skill ceiling rewarding post-shot positioning.

We were only four, so we left 4 balls of the table, but you could make things easier by keeping all 'unallocated' colours on the table and using them as free balls.

It's fun when you ever so slightly miss a shot and set someone up for an easy pot on you, plus since there's nothing to gain from potting someone else other than taking a life off them, you develop some nice little dramas and rivalries, plus it balances the skill gap because the better players may be picked on but can generally survive through skill, and it's quite clear when someone is pulling ahead so they'll become a target.

Really fun game, possibly because we felt we invented it, but we didn't go back to doubles pool for the rest of the night.

I've been on escitalopram for nearly two months now and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm happy.

I'm motivated, I'm not as lethargic as I was on regular citalopram, I'm worrying less and I'm overall just a much more pleasant person to be around.

I'm sorting out my money, I'm changing my career, I'm addressing my horrible attention span (reading, exercise), engaging with my hobbies once more, and I feel proud of myself for once. What a difference paying for a psychiatrist to give a shit about you makes.

>>449059

Great news mate. Keep the momentum going and let us know how you get on.

I recently moved back to a place where I have quite a lot of friends, and where the weather is fucking magnificent 365 days a year and everything is open all the time. Prior to this, I'd been living in suburban humdrum (which turned out to be a great place to spend a pandemic, what with the amount of space). Living in a place with more of a hard line between work, life, and specifically home-life, I became a bit of a homebody and got used to enjoying my own and my partner's company. Now I'm back in Fun City, I barely have a fucking second to myself. I understand it's first-world problems, but I'm socially knackered and just want to spend a few days being shit at computer games and drinking tea. Setting up boundaries is more difficult when your work colleagues are also your best mates - it feels like everyone knows what I'm doing, or feels the need to know what I'm doing, at all times.

Apologies for the blogfa.gs post, but it's hard to find people to be sympathetic without the veil of anonymity, since effectively I'm complaining that my social life is good.

Came home to a letter from West Yorkshire telling me I have failed to pay a court fine as directed. This is the first I've heard of it, but they have my name and date of birth right, so they've gotten it from somewhere.

I have the urge to pay it immediately, but I also really need to wait until Monday to call and find out what the fuck I've done, I have no idea. I haven't been anywhere near Yorkshire for at least a year. I assume I've committed some sort of traffic offence, I'm not sure how else they could have known my address. I can't imagine it's a mistake. I used to live in Leeds, so unless they've accidentally re-fined me for the speeding ticket I got in 2016, I really can't think what it could be. It's pretty annoying that the scary threat letter doesn't specify whatever crime is worth £308 in fines.

>>449063

A google suggests it might be a historic debt, though the only thing I can think of there was forgetting to cancel a BT contract when I moved, but that was sorted years ago. I have a horrible feeling I'm going to have to pay three hundred quid for no discernible reason, which will ruin my week.

I've had some Boursin open in my fridge for a couple of months, although the use by date was little over a fortnight ago. I've just had some because it wasn't mouldy and there wasn't a funny smell or taste to it, so hopefully I won't be shitting violently in the near future.

>>449065
Gonna be some vivid dreams tonight ladm9.

>>449066
I can't remember all of the details, but at one point I was having a conversation with a sliced lemon and a bottle of water. They'd both grown roots and the lemon was quite insistent about me squeezing it into the water.

I was in a café with my girlfriend, but she went to sit with some other women because she didn't appreciate me taking the piss out of her so they kept muttering about me. At one point a waiter brought over a shaken up bottle of vodka and said it was like me, because it was all messed up or something? I decided to go for a walk to find our kids because we'd seemingly abandoned them to fend for themselves and a woman was trying to show me crumbs which she said my son had got on her top; when she lifted her top up a bit her tit flopped out and she had an extremely purple nip.

Boursin before bedtime, lads. It'll blow your mind.

First creme egg of the year lads.

I've trapped a nerve in my right shoulder blade by simply existing.

>>449069
I woke up early due to cramp in my leg. First time that's happened in yonks.

>>449070
I had similar recently and it was excruciating - I have since been on a mission to find out what causes them, and I've only got as far as perhaps dehydration or iron deficiency.

>>449069>>449070
Christ lads. How old are we getting?

>>449072
Couple more years, it's wetting ourselves and shoplifting.

>>449072
Proper old. Last year I informed you all of my ordeal with a rogue eyebrow hair after a lifetime of perfect zero-maintenance eyebrows. And just this weekend I realised I had nose hair that needed some attention, again after a lifetime of perfect zero-maintenance nose hair. It felt like it needed a good pick, but after a few attempts I realised it wasn't a bogie but a hair. Now I know why people have those little nose scissors.

>>449074 just wait for the ear hairs, they're annoying bastards.

>>449074>>449075
I've seriously thought about one of those ear/nose trimmers, but they look faintly barbaric and I'm scared it's going to end in a lot of blood.

Also, ears are fine, but pulling out nose hairs really really fucking hurts.

>>449074
Did you find a solution for the increasing eyebrow wildness? Mine are getting more and more mental as the years pass, I pluck out the odd one that decides to go full rogue but it doesn't seem sustainable.

I had an ex who used to use some sort of product on them and had a little brush, I don't think she'd appreciate a message asking about eyebrow maintenance though tbh.

>>449077

Turkish barbers m8. They'll sort out the lot - ears, nose and eyebrows.

I looked up why dads were always so sleepy when I was growing up and now wish I hadn't. So it turns out that your ability to sleep declines with your testosterone causing you to sleep lighter with lots of wakeups and times where you can get into bed exhausted yet unable to sleep. The dads falling asleep with the telly on were literally collapsing into it and even the snoring was being driven in part by physiological changes.

I'm not sure if I'll hack getting old, having a good kip is one of my few true pleasures.

>>449120
When you were growing up men ran on nicotine and lager and these days they post twice weekly reviews of their favourite plant based meat alternatives for their imaginary internet friends to read. You ought to have a solid fifteen more years of restful kipping than they did, though your own children will call it "napping", perhaps renderering you too constantly irritated to sleep well anyway.

>>449120

Getting old is shit, but it's better than the alternative.

The thought of being elderly scares me. I don't want to lose my marbles and end up in a care home, nor do I want to be frail and have carers on minimum wage come to my house for a couple of hours a day tucking me in bed at 5pm because it's the only slot they have for me.

>>449124

I do feel like the need for care homes will decrease as time goes on. More of us take better care of ourselves these days, even povvos, and even the lowliest plebs are engaged with technology and doing more reading via the internet etc in ways that are thought to stimulate the mind and stave off mental degradation through ageing.

Of course genuine degenerative diseases like alzheimers (how the fuck do you spell that) or parkinsons will still present an obstacle, but if we're very lucky, those will be much more treatable by the time we're that age too.

Really today's old people are in a pretty unique situation, as the generation brought up after the wartime "greatest generation". They're all crippled because they spend their whole life living off chip butties, their careers began just as wide scale automation and office work started to come in, and if they weren't sat knocking back pints in the pub, they were sat on their fat arse staring at the tube in their spare time. They've had the worst of all worlds, shit diet, little mental exercise, as well as a sedentary lifestyle.

>>449125
Swings and roundabouts.

People in the 40s and 50s didn't grow up with McDonald's or turkey dinosaurs, they actually played outside as children rather than being glued to a games console, TV or smartphone, jobs are more sedentary now and people are a lot more isolated these days; communicating with people online or via text is nowhere near as good for your mental health as physically spending time with someone.

>>449127

Not really m8. Mental health is not the same as mental exercise. Talking to folk keeps you happy, but it doesn't keep your faculties sharp like reading and learning new things does.

You're getting things a generation behind anyway, people who were children in the 70s are retirement age now. They had TV, they had videogames. People who were kids in the 40s are well into their 80s and mostly dying off.

>>449127

The prevalence of dementia is in quite steep decline. We have more people with dementia because of our ageing society, but the proportion of people with dementia at any given age is falling.

Part of that is explained by the reduction in environmental neurotoxins (we took the lead out of petrol and paint, coal smoke and dust contains a surprisingly high level of heavy metals) but part of it is unexplained and probably related to the Flynn effect - people have been getting cleverer over time, which leaves more people with a reserve to cope with cognitive decline.

I realise this is strictly "back in my day" territory but I've had Challenge on in the background this morning, showing gameshows from ~20 years ago like Wheel of Fortune and Bruce's Price is Right and they seem much better than gameshows these days. I know ITV bring some of them back now and then, but they're inevitably hosted by Stephen Mulhern with extremely minor celebrities as the contestants.

I want Fort Boyard back.

>>449143
Those are the good ones that are still worth watching 35 years later (in the case of early Catchphrase, I think). The shit ones don't get repeated. Wheel of Fortune was amazing, but I never liked Bruce's Price Is Right. I watched it by mistake a couple of times when I was expecting Play Your Cards Right.

Pointless and The Chase are probably the two biggest and most popular game shows right now, and they're already repeating the early episodes on Challenge. Meanwhile, Vernon Kay's 1000 Heartbeats, which was obviously rigged, and the BBC one where you had to snip virtual threads to make sums of money drop (also clearly rigged to be unwinnable) are not being repeated on Challenge, because they were awful, and designed to be unwinnable, and they can fuck off and I'm glad they're dead. Hopefully they will never repeat Tipping Point either.

>>449143
>>449144

I forgot Challenge is a thing. Is it on Freeview? I might actually bother connecting my TV aerial if so. I could sit and watch Takeshi's Castle and Crystal Maze all day long.

I seem to remember back in the day if we were playing out on a Saturday and our parents had gone out to do the Big Shop, we'd go back to one of our houses to take advantage of being able to watch what we wanted on TV. It seemed like there was always one of those two or Brainiac on.

>>449145
Comedy Central now have Takeshi's Castle, but I don't think they're aired it in a couple of years and any version without Craig Charles doing the voice over is a bit shit.

Challenge nowadays is 70% repeats of The Chase, 28% repeats of Family Fortunes, Bullseye and gameshows with Bruce Forsyth or Michael Barrymore and 2% reminding you that the channel is sponsored by Spam.

The only thing I find worthwhile on the 'shit' Freeview channels is Wheeler Dealers.

>>449146
Quest has snooker coverage, sometimes, as does ITV4. ITV4 also repeats Flash Gordon every couple of weeks, and that's fantastic.

>>449147
I think my dad watches ITV4 most mornings, Minder and Sherlock Holmes.

>>449148
>Sherlock Holmes

If it's the Jeremy Brett ones, then those are the Gold Standard, and your Old Man has excellent taste. The new BBC Sherlock was a interesting experiment, which only redeemed itself with the hammminess of the Chrimbo Special. "My name is Shehlawk Hewmes, and ayy Smewk a Paaaip"

I keep seeing birds put "homeowner 🏠" on their Tinder bio, and I think they see it as some sort of brag about how successful they are and how together they have their their shit.

But some of these birds are barely past uni age (don't judge me, It's my first time being single in a while), so there's absolutely, positively, no way they bought that house without mum and dad giving them their deposit.

To me it's just a sign they're going to be a spoilt little tart frankly.

>>449150
Still going to tick them if they have a nice pair of tits though aren't you. You slut.
Coffee Meets Bagel has a much better proportion of Asian women. I think there's actually more Asian women on there than white women. Just something to consider.

>>449150
Yeah but a good old fashioned arse pissing will make it your house too.

>>449151

It isn't the Asians, it's the third tits he's after.

>>449150

I think it's tacitly setting the bar. She's a homeowner, possibly mortgaged to the hilt or with rich parents, in any way she probably didn't pay for whatever home she owns out of her own pocket. Especially not if she's still in her reproductive window. But what it does do is tell potential suitors that she's not going to settle for a pauper. As women do, because few of them want to marry down or even date somebody for a significant amount of time who is a few rungs below them. Men brag about their material possessions to highlight their suitability as a sexual mate and father of offspring. While women may want to appear like they're strong and financially independent and don't need a man's money, but they're really just saying you need to own property as well or be at least of similar social status.

>>449154

That's true for ordinary lads like you or I, but the thing about lasses is they can't even stick to their own standards if you're exceptionally attractive or otherwise have something about you they want.

They might be a lot more mercenary about men and their status than the other way around, but they are still willing to bend that. You might get them in for a one night stand and expect it to be nothing more, but if you impress them by blowing their legs off they will certainly reconsider all that.

They're rarely willing to do it the other way round, importantly- Being loaded and flaunting your best suit and rolex on tinder won't get you a bird if you look like Bernard Manning, but the opposite is possible, sometimes.

I have seen it first hand, there's a lass at my work who is the definition of spoiled little princess- Her parents were originally working class but did well for themselves, wanted to give their little girl the best possible start in life and all that. But her boyfriend sounds like a disaster on a personal level, he's in loads of debt and by the sounds of it she's keeping him afloat. She won't even consider if she could do better, though, because he's "hot". He works out, wears nice shirts, and she likes looking good next to him. He's a trophy boyfriend.

>>449155

I think that's more true the younger a lass is. A 20 year old lass will fall for a layabout bad boy because he's got a chiselled body and a big knob, but lasses do tend to get more serious about who they spread for as they tick closer to 30 or thereabouts. Which is when social status more and more comes into play. The problem then of course at some point being that the higher up women move career wise and socially, the thinner the air gets in terms of finding a suitable lad who is on par with them.

>>449154
> As women do, because few of them want to marry down or even date somebody for a significant amount of time who is a few rungs below them.

This is barnacles and the same with a woman not being able to own a home insider her "reproductive window".

I'm an ugly sod but every woman I've ever dated has been on more than twice my income. There isn't any cock-magic involved or trying to look rich, like blokes they're mostly just looking for someone they get along with, is interesting and whom they consider reasonably attractive. Just the status of being a fairly normal human being puts you above most of the men a woman will encounter on the dating scene.

>>449157

Bollocks. For a start there's no such thing as normal, not these days. And when it comes to the apps (different story in real life dating, where it still exists) being normal is a synonym for being boring, and therefore grabbing absolutely nobody's attention. The truth is likely that you're much more attractive and charming than you give yourself credit for, to be honest, lad.

I've noticed a lot of lasses on the apps are just bone-achingly basic, for want of a better term. Just have absolutely nothing about them. They're like empty shells, blanks, or at least that's how they present themselves. Blonde, picture of them with their mates at a local club, some shite comedy quote in their bio you've seen a hundred times. I'm sure blokes are not much better but I imagine guys at least know they have to stand out a bit.

Who are these people ending up going out with? How does the conversation start when two completely bland, empty people start chatting? I mean I've tried it myself (I don't have a problem getting matches, so don't confuse this kind of talk for a chronic 'bator rant) but they're always the worst ones in conversation too, just pulling teeth. How the bloody hell do they make it into bed.

Do they literally open a conversation "Hi. You seen bake off last night? x"

>>449158

>Who are these people ending up going out with? How does the conversation start when two completely bland, empty people start chatting?

I imagine it's like some of the better episodes of TOWIE.

If there is such a thing.

>>449158
>The truth is likely that you're much more attractive and charming than you give yourself credit for, to be honest, lad.

Yeah, well, I bet your very handsome and charming too, but I don't think I'm saying anything controversial when I say that while normal is a turn-off it's statistically offering more than the majority of the dating scene. I even included interesting on top just to emphasise that factor. It's much more complicated than get money = acquire bitches, well, unless you want to be robbed anyway.

>I've noticed a lot of lasses on the apps are just bone-achingly basic, for want of a better term. Just have absolutely nothing about them. They're like empty shells, blanks, or at least that's how they present themselves. Blonde, picture of them with their mates at a local club, some shite comedy quote in their bio you've seen a hundred times. I'm sure blokes are not much better but I imagine guys at least know they have to stand out a bit.

Won't argue with you on this though; there's been many a time where I've just sat there completely dumbfounded on what to message a profile with. I know women are playing a very different game but fucking hell if only they knew that a little personality and coolness can render any man as putty in their hands.

>>449158

>Do they literally open a conversation "Hi. You seen bake off last night? x"

Yeah, pretty much. Dull people aren't hiding some kind of secret depth, they're just dull. They aren't going to be receptive to any kind of wit or charm, because it all goes over their head.

The mercenary truth is that attractive people don't need a personality, because they'll be inundated with attention anyway. We might purport to care about personality, we might criticise women for being shallow, but we're probably going to swipe left on anyone we consider physically unattractive.

It is absolutely possible to charm your way into someone's pants, but unless that person has serious self-esteem issues then they've probably got a fairly good idea of their own value on the dating market. Unrealistic expectations fuel most of the misery of dating apps for both genders; if you aren't willing to compromise on something, you're probably going to be disappointed.

>>449164

>The mercenary truth is that attractive people don't need a personality, because they'll be inundated with attention anyway.

Divine justice is then that as pretty people age, they tend to lose their looks and thus the one thing that made them attractive in the first place.

Wit and an attractive personality aren't things that are as easily lost as you age.

>>449164
>The mercenary truth is that attractive people don't need a personality, because they'll be inundated with attention anyway. We might purport to care about personality, we might criticise women for being shallow, but we're probably going to swipe left on anyone we consider physically unattractive.

This isn't entirely true from my experience. Not to get too lookist but you can certainly tell when someone has the personality of a bread sandwich as they tend to be quite generic and in some ways childish whereas attractive women are more happy-go-lucky or hippy.

From my experience the universe just isn't fair like that, some of the most interesting people I've met have also been incredibly attractive. Brains is one thing but by interesting I'm thinking more someone who lights up a room.

>>449168

>some of the most interesting people I've met have also been incredibly attractive

I have had to concede that grudgingly as well. One of my mates at uni was blessed with absolute model looks, he was from a solid upper middle class upbringing, and he was in the middle of his Ph.D in electrical engineering. He was a right blokey bloke that you could go and get smashed with, but somebody you could also talk to about the finer points of relationships or the human experience in general. If there is such a thing as a charmed life, then he was certainly living it. The lasses were scratching each other's eyes out for his attention.

He got married to an equally beautiful lass, who was as pretty and smart as she was an incredibly kind and pleasant person to be around.

Sometimes in the Universe, the stars just align like that. The rest of us are simply going to have to work harder for everything.

>>449169

It's just like anything else though, if you have a leg up in the first place everything else comes easier on an exponential curve. Being wealthy makes it easier to build more wealth because you can reinvest; likewise being attractive makes it easier to develop a well rounded and likeable personality because you'll simply get more chances to socialise, and people will naturally respond to you better. In turn that makes it easier to cultivate a rich social network, have a diverse range of connections, and develop a well rounded appreciation of life, experience lots of different things and so on.

I've learned to accept my place in the world though I suppose. I'll only ever be the type for the council estate goth lass, and every time I get involved with someone from a higher station it ends up going horribly wrong because I can't sustain pushing myself to live up to their expectations over the long term. It's a strange place to be caught when dating, when your background and life experience mainly comes from the scummy chavvy underworld of the post industrial North but you're enough of a pseudo-intellectual to be able to hold conversation and culturally relate with middle class birds who did archeology degrees or whatever. One foot over the threshold but never quite allowed in.

No, look, this is bollocks. Attractive people can't all be simultaneously dull because they never had to develop a personality but also scintillating because they had the opportunities to socialise. It's one or the other or you have to find a better hypothesis.

>>449183

Fine. Then let the hypothesis be that both can be observed in the wild. You can be physically attractive and a vapid dimwit, or a beautiful mind in a beautiful body. And both have their own set of determinants.

>>449183

As the original lad who brought up boring lasses, I never said a word about their attractiveness, so it's the otherlads who have a wire crossed somewhere.

What's the old saying though, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Attractive people (and wealthy people, and whatever other kind of privelege you want to talk about) have a leg up, but that doesn't always stop them being a thicko who squanders their advantage.

>>449185

>Attractive people (and wealthy people, and whatever other kind of privelege you want to talk about) have a leg up, but that doesn't always stop them being a thicko who squanders their advantage

I was going to say look at Joey Essex, who is dumber than a bag of bollocks, but on second thought, I'm not sure where he fits into all of that.

>>449203

That's just the natural injustice of some people being very fortunate, like that lad was moaning about in /emo/ the other day. It's easier not to be bothered about it when it's abstract strangers on telly, but it can sometimes really sting when you witness it in front of your face, I suppose.

The steam coming out of my iron has a brownish orange tint to it. Rusty steam can't be a good sign.

I've been to Halifax this afternoon. I swear every single road was gridlocked.

There seems to be quite a few towns and cities that have far more cars than their roads can cope with.

>>449285
My one experience with Halifax was trying to get a 52 plate Clio up a 45° hill in the snow.

>>449288
If it was really 45° the snow would have melted.

Has anyone been on an Access to Higher Education course, and if so, what sort of people were taking it? I'm trying to work out the feasibility of doing one, but am scared that as a 31 year old man I'd stand out if it's full of 17 year olds.

>>449296
I've a few mates that did them as a route into uni as a mature student, with varying degrees of success and comfort about the arrangement. The ones who didn't get along with it were invariably people who either went back into education because they felt like they'd missed out on some nebulous "uni experience", or had no idea what else to do so thought they'd give it a go. As long as you're serious about seeing it through, you'll be reyt.

>>449296

>Has anyone been on an Access to Higher Education course, and if so, what sort of people were taking it?

Yes. At least on my course it was a real mix, from teenagers who had cocked up their A-levels through to a bloke in his late 40s who had recently been made redundant. IIRC about half of Access students are over 25.

The learning curve is quite steep, so as >>449297 suggests, anyone who isn't seriously committed will drop out fairly quickly. That's not to say it's hostile or deliberately difficult, but the point of the course is to get you prepared for university in a hurry and you can't get away with slacking.

IME there was a real sense of camaraderie once people had settled in. All our lives hadn't quite gone to plan in some respect, but we were all motivated to change for the better. Everyone came to the course with a different background, but we were all facing a similar challenge. The younger students were more familiar with being in education, but were often scarred by recent bad experiences and a sense of failure. Us older students were often quite daunted by the prospect of sitting in a classroom or writing essays for the first time in decades, but we had the kind of toughness you get from being out in the real world and a clearer motivation to study.

I think that mix was beneficial for everyone. For an 18-year-old, it's an immense confidence boost when a bloke old enough to be your dad asks you to help with his homework. For the older students, there was a sort of catharsis in seeing just how young and insecure the kids were and how much we had learned and grown since we were that age. I think if we were all older, we might have regressed a bit into the mindset we had when we were last in school.

>>449298
I'm in a weird position where I did go to uni for several years, but had to leave due to illness, but I know how to write an essay. Now years later, I'm wanting to reskill to progress in my current job, so I don't know if my previous uni study would preclude me from getting on this Access course. My A-levels are all completely unrelated from the Access course I'm looking at, so again don't know if that's a factor.

>>449299

Given your previous study, you might not need to do an access course as entry requirements are often more flexible for mature students. Your illness is an extenuating circumstance that can be taken into account. Most universities have a mature student recruitment advisor and it's well worth getting in touch to see where you stand.

You should be eligible for an Advanced Learner Loan to do an access course, but you might have funding issues if you go on to university and have previously taken out student loans. The system is quite complicated because it has changed repeatedly over the years, but I'd suggest getting in touch with Student Finance England to see what you'd be eligible for.

Since November my energy bill's been well over £100pm. I haven't used significantly less this month but just got a bill for 38p.

>>449301
I got double billed towards the end of last year with whichever middleman I was using going bust and Shell taking over.

>>449302
If they double-bill me 38p I think I'll cope.

I'm noticing how much more of my time talking to a childhood friend is taken up by energy prices and medical issues these days.

Windy out.

>>449305
Storm Malik - ITZ.

My girlfriend offered to dress up for me, how do I tell her I want her to dress up as a slightly chubby thick thighed 21 year old with dyed hair who works at CEX?

I went out earlier and it was bright and the perfect level of breezy. I loved it. I did what I planned to do, which takes about 15 minutes, then I spent another hour wandering around just relishing the weather. It was beautiful. I got really euphoric, to the point where I tried to think my usual embittered rants and I just abandoned them, because they didn't feel like me any more. I even went to a small local park that I have never been to before in the 11 years I've lived here.

Now that I'm home, I've switched off the heating and opened the windows until it gets too cold to do this. Today has been such a lovely experience that I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me that only today could cure. It's not a vitamin D deficiency because I take those pills you can buy.

>>449307
Hand her a picture of Thora Birch in Ghost World.

>>449308
I don't think pills are a substitute for actual sunlight.

>>449309
Brilliant idea. Or Lindsay Ellis.

>>449307
My understanding was that only neckbeards worked at CEX, thick thighs and all, so she could be a little offended.

If you ask me, which you haven't, anyone who likes the banana flakes Muller corners is a fucking wrong 'un.

Morecambe and Wise is on. Is it just me or are all their jokes and sketches just... really fucking weak? Just really, plainly bad. They are supposed to be national treasures but apart from The Stripper and the paper bag trick hardly anything they do makes me laugh. It's mind boggling.

>>449324
I've got the shitty Michael McIntyre Saturday night quiz on in the background. At least Lucy Worsley is looking fine.

George Orwells 1984 radio adaption starts tonight on BBC R4 - https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01qhd0y

>>449323
Aye they're not the best. I prefer the vanilla with milk and white chocolate balls.

Have you ever thought about buying jellyfish? I looked into it as they might make a cool display and it seems more blokey than having houseplants.

The major downside seems to that you can't have many different types together in the same tank and they're better off if you feed them small amounts multiple times a day as they're hungry buggers. Of course the plus is that you can farm plankton for them to eat really easily.

Still, fascinating stuff to look into - jellyfish are kept in circular tanks because their lack of eyes can mean they become trapped by corners and unlike fish the battle is to keep the water cool. Also they orientate themselves by growing calcium crystals in their bodies whose movement they have tiny hairs to pick up and understand which way gravity is pulling - this may sound familiar as you also have tiny crystals (otoliths) in your ears.

>>449323
I've never really understood Muller corners in general. Why not just buy a yogurt and throw some stuff in there? Is it portion control?

>>449327
Yes - every time I see a jellyfish tank in an aquarium (or the world's only submarium), I think about how cool it would be to have a tank in my house as a display piece. The comedian Tracy Morgan is a big aquatic animals guy, I saw some TV show one time where they were touring his house, he has a massive fucking shark tank and a rare octopus. I'm more drawn to keeping coral, though, so if I were to have a tank of any sort I think it would be for that.

>>449327

>more blokey than having houseplants.

Regardless of how blokey-or-not keeping houseplants is I very much enjoy it. Makes the room feel a lot nicer, they give you a low maintenance hobby and are relatively cheap as far as decoration goes.

How insecure do you have to be to end up considering keeping jellyfish out of fear Bozza, Ratty and Davvo The Quim Meister might see your houseplant and call you a poof? Don't get me wrong, they do look cool and the tanks are like something from optimistic SF films and Apple stores but where does "blokey" come in?

>>449336
Wahey, lads, get a load of Charlie Dimmock over here.

>>449336

Oooh. Is it that time of month love?

>>449337
>>449338

Kids these days. Alright, spend your money on mood-lit tanks of refrigerated water. Me and your granddad will be down the allotment.

If you want manly plants, you want a cactus. I've also got basil growing on the windowsill in the kitchen for cooking.

>>449339
>Me and your granddad will be down the allotment.

Dirty slag.

>>449340
Do you know who popularised the cactus in interior design? Hitler.

>>449346
Never forget.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjUbU6n4nn0

>>449336
I'd agree with this. Also, people massively underestimate the work and effort involved in keeping an aquarium, particularly if it has animals in it, even more so if a saltwater/coral tank.

The planted tanks by Takashi Amano is where everyone has gone with it - beautiful, but far closer to gardening than keeping fish/animals.

The person leading the investigation into the party stuff on behalf of the Met is Cressida Dick's girlfriend. The Met's Assistant Commissioner for Professionalism, Helen Ball. They're a butch lesbian couple whose surnames are Dick and Ball.

>>449353
I imagine they'll soon fall out of fashion, like bonsai trees did.

>>449361
Dick and Ball investiagate Johnson. I feel like there has been a glitch in the Matrix.

>>449348
That's great, I really enjoyed that.

Fridey neyt, lads. What we up to? What you supping?

I'm off to meet a fat bird I used to shag tomorrow, not intending on going anywhere with it because she's settled with kids and all that now. But I know there will be some flirting and reminiscing after a few cocktails, and that'll rejuvenate some old and well worn supplies tucked away at the back of the wank bank.

I'm listening to Budgie. Budgie are ace.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEtMO5WOq8U

>>449474
Pizza and a spliff and a night in front of the telly with the missus for me. We just moved house and we've declared tomorrow as the day that we take care of all the niggling little tasks left to do before we're properly moved in, so can't do anything too mad tonight.

Piss in her arse.

>>449474
Cheap bottle of Co-Op wine, celebrating my new job offer. Interviewing has been a fucking nightmare, and I'm glad it's all over.

Binging on Answers with Joe on youtube.

If binging is the right word for someone's youtube channel.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGDvJ1NuZMI

He is really entertaining.

>>449478

I recently binge watched a load of Captain Disillusion, which is sort of a Mythbusters style de-bunking/how it's done channel focussing on VFX, with a strong Mystery Science Theatre vibe to it. Compelling stuff if you want your curiosity peaked but don't want something too heavy and learning-y.

I found it really weird that I'd never seen it before, though. He's been going since the really early days of YouTube and he seems decently popular, so it felt pretty mad that in ten plus years of regularly using YouTube, I've never seen him.

>>449479
I've followed him for, wow, now that I think of it, more than ten years, but I think his channel only got massive-massive about four or five years ago and I think there was quite a dry spell in terms of uploads in there somewhere. It was probably '08 or '09 I found his channel, which isn;'t relavent but it just occured to me how long that is.

The same amount of spice in a massive chilli con carne and a small portion of stir fry will have very different outcomes, it seems. I'm learning a lot this week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrKpuxsLXZ0

Binge watcing Forged in Fire.

I've done the trial to get a free pair of boxers from On That Ass. My free undies have been dispatched but I've got to wait seven days before I can cancel my free trial; if I don't cancel within fourteen days then they'll bill me £9.99 for the first month's subscription, so they're probably banking on me forgetting about it.

Just learned that some of the crew of the Challenger were probably still alive after the initial explosion and might have survived up until the point when the cabin department actually hit the water. Grim, grim, grim.

>>449493
I watched a lot of it about a year ago. Seen pretty much every episode from the first series to seventh. Even by that point they were running out of ideas, a crossbow that shoots rocks isn't very blacksmithy. It's worth watching the spin off Knife Or Death. It's like Total Wipeout except every obstacle must be chopped. Total shit telly.

Forged in Fire is top level bollocks TV. I have spent too much time watching the ads for Cold Steel swords on YouTube, because they're unintentionally hilarious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bdfx7l4z5cQ

I wanted to watch the Afcon final, but I can't because I'm stuck with my mobile data until at least tomorrow, if not longer. At least appears to be the most boring match in history according to the live blog I'm glancing at, so I'm not missing out on much.

I've pissed in my girlfriend's cup of tea again. It's getting out of hand.

>>449510

I had to check that wasn't a wordfilter.

Have you ever thought about going on holiday on your own? I've started getting into trouble at work for never taking time off and I feel like I could do with some sun.

Obviously I could just find a girlfriend and make it work so that she wants to go on holiday with me but what about the less desperate alternative.

>>449518
Travelling alone is excellent, and I'd highly recommend a solo city break if you have never done it. It can even be as simple as just seeing whatever the cheapest flight available is on the day you want to fly, then planning from there.

>>449516
Not all the time, but if my girlfriend asks for a hot beverage on an evening I'll sometimes piss in it before pouring the kettle. Only a little bit of piss, never more than about 50ml, and she hasn't noticed so far.

>>449520

So is this a kink thing, a spite thing, or were you just curious to see if she'd be able to tell?

How do you think she would react if she knew?

>>449523
I genuinely don't know, but it's not a spite thing. I'm not getting anything out of it, but I would like to piss on her face in the shower.

>>449518
I went to Blackpool on my own. If you go alone, you will stay alone, but if you want to do solitary things then it's fine.

>>449518
Everything that is shitty about traveling is much less so when you're alone. You can arrive to your connections late or early, whichever makes you less stressed and nobody will give you shit for it. If you fuck up your plan and end up having to do something unexpected, walk miles at night through a foreign country to find the bus station, there's nobody to feel guilty about putting them through it. You can find food when you're hungry and if there is none available, there's nobody to fall out with due to low blood sugar. You can spend the whole holiday drinking by the pool with nobody dragging you away to see the local historical sites; or you can spend the whole time at historical sites without wasting days in the hotel. Not that there's much sun in Blackpool.
All that said, I'd be reluctant to do it if there wasn't at least one person I knew who lived nearby who can give you some direction or meet for a couple of hours.

>>449532

Everything you said in this post applies to life in general, not just travelling. Other people just make things so tedious, it's far better when you can be selfish without having to feel guilty about being selfish.

Of course, the downside is you don't have anyone to do anything with, which in the end, makes most things feel quite pointless and empty. Going to see the historical sights is boring with nobody to talk to about it. Sitting by the pool drinking by yourself is just alkie behaviour, and I love sitting by the pool drinking.

Then again, maybe I'm just bitter because I've always had culturally (if not financially) middle class partners who want to go see the sights and all that and they don't appreciate the virtues of just hedonistically baking under the sun for a couple of weeks, occasionally wandering down the strip to find a new bar to sit and watch people out of.

Ahhh fuck I miss holidays. Can't be arsed with all the bullshit while it's still virus o'clock though.

Ted Kaczinsky is dying of cancer and still trying to persuade people to organise for an anti-tech revolution.

>>449534
>Everything you said in this post applies to life in general, not just travelling.
Yes but everything is intensified in the stress of traveling. Besides, it's supposed to be a holiday isn't it?

>>449535
If he doesn't want people who will half-ass his personal crusade, he will never appeal to the people whose support he needs and his crusade will fail. Which would be a shame.

>>449537
He won't be around to gatekeep once he's a dead and a martyr.

>>449520
>only a little bit of piss
>about 50 ml
Lad that's 20% of a cup

I absolutely fucked that job interview I had today. I didn't fancy my chances much going into it, but that trainwreck sealed the deal. My nerves got the better of me, I don't even remember what I said, but considering the whole thing only lasted 15 minutes I reckon it can't have been great.

I'm taking a vallium next time.

>>449550
It's tough when that happens. I'm forever thinking of better answers afterwards. It gets easier.

If I perceive a fictional race as analogues for Jews, am I the antisemitic one, or is it the creators? There was a mild outcry recently about the bankers in Harry Potter being horrible little hooknosed bastards. Is JK Rowling an antisemite, or are the people identifying the goblins as Jews being antisemitic by saying "yeah Jews sure do have hook noses and like money"? Then you've got the Ferengi from Star Trek, goblins from WoW, Volus from Mass Effect, to name but a few.

>>449561
If someone asks such a stupid question are they idiots or asking in bad faith?

Can we please just focus on the fact that otherlad is pissing in his girlfriend's beverages?

>>449564
Negligible traces of piss.

You ever feel like you just date the same people again and again? It's not like I'm picky either.

>>449561
There's actually a clear example of this in the Glass Harmonica directed by Andrey Khrzhanovskiy where you can see anti-Semitic imagery just because it portrays people consumed by greed.

>>449566
Well, not just because of the greed...

>>449564
Still reeling from it. Not sure how to process.

Definitely one of the oddest things we've learned.

>>449561
I've encountered similar thought when using the term like 'retarded' (Which is apparently known as 'the R word' these days). To my mind, the person hearing the word is assosiating it with themselves, their children or whoever, not necessarily as the speaker intends. It's the identification of self with the word that causes the offense. Basically "Retarded? Don't say 'retarded' because it makes me think of my retarded brother". Do you see what I mean?

I suppose experiences inherantly produce certain responses in most people - disgust, happiness, whatever .. but these can be trained out or dismissed. If asking one way or another, does it really matter who gives (IE neither)?

There is that Loius CK joke about "the N word" putting the thought into your head and just owning the responsibility for meaning it, and there's a truth to that, but it's surely a learned response that can be unlearned, especially considering it's linguistic and not a biological response.

>>449563
I wouldn't have thought it was stupid and, in good faith, would like an explaination why I'm wrong if you have the time.

>>449565
Up to 50 millilitres of human urine. 10 teaspoons of piss.

>>449571

A double measure of piss.

Has the piss guy posted about this before? It sounds vaguely familiar.

I just want to know why he does it. Maybe she's the breadwinner and this is hisbway of levelling the field. Yeah, you might make 50k more than me, but sometimes you drink my piss tea.

I've also just imagined him making her a pissy bovril, and that's somehow a thousand times more sickening than piss tea or coffee.

>>449575
I've never known a woman drink a bovril.

>>449575
There was the lad who liked to put his willy into a cup of tea or "teacock" but I'm not sure if it's the same person, similar sorts of deviancy though. I just don't think it's right to degrade a cup of tea in general, summink wrong with you lot.

>>449494
>I've done the trial to get a free pair of boxers from On That Ass. My free undies have been dispatched but I've got to wait seven days before I can cancel my free trial; if I don't cancel within fourteen days then they'll bill me £9.99 for the first month's subscription, so they're probably banking on me forgetting about it.

Here again. It's a fucking con.

I'm trying to cancel during the free trial period but the only option it's giving me is to stop my membership as of this month "The last payment for your membership will occur at the end of February 2022. You will receive your last boxer shorts from the 17th of March 2022."

I don't want to pay them a penny, I guess I'll have to block them on PayPal or something?

I've just had to run for a train, must have only been a few hundred yards down the street, and fuck. I think I might be having cardiac arrest.

I don't know when I got this out of shape, but come to think of it that short run is the most physically strenuous thing I've had to do in months, possibly years at this point.

What do

>>449617
Why would anyone need to spend £10 on boxers every month? Their home page is broken currently and the English on their FAQ pages is pretty bad. I wouldn't give them any money.

>>449618

The BBC's couch to 5k app doesn't have any ads or microtransactions. This is a good time of year to start.

>>449619
They're a Dutch company. Their website says you can try a pair for free and cancel, but that's evidently bollocks. Roughly 50 out of 60 reviews on Trustpilot are calling the free trial a scam.

I only did it for a freebie, so I have cancelled the automatic payments with PayPal. I guess people do it because they like subscription models. The pants definitely aren't worth a tenner each, based on what I've received.

Left the house in brown boots and black jeans today. Felt just like Niko Bellic.

>>449626

Do you want to go bowling?

>>449618
Such is life. Assuming you're older than about 25, I think most people feel that way after running for a train. Sometimes I run across a road if a car is approaching from far away, and that's the only running I do now and sometimes I wonder how it would feel to keep running for longer than the width of a road. Probably awful, but I haven't needed to run for a bus or train for a few years now so that's the only running I have done. I certainly feel like death after close calls for catching trains, though.

>>449618

I recently got back into cycling after some time off. I couldn't believe how unfit I had become - after three or four miles of relatively flat riding my legs were completely fucked.

Mercifully, it didn't take all that long to start getting back to a reasonable level of fitness. After five or six weeks of nearly-daily riding, I could comfortably manage a 30 mile round trip.

I think the key is to just get into a routine. Doing something is always better than doing nothing, so try to find something you find easy to do regularly.

>>449631
>I think the key is to just get into a routine
This unfortunately is the key to just about anything health-related, but fuck if it isn't difficult when your life is a mess and so are you, which is what I assume to be the case for just about anyone from our generation.