I'm 49 this year, and haven't felt better to be frank. I look at the Spine Race and think ooh that looks interesting,maybe I should give it a go.
The people that I have known since school and who are still friends seem to live on a different planet. A so called comfortable bubble filled with interpersonal psychological projections. Doing the same things, living in the suck, treating anything new as alien and trying to capture the times of youth gone by.
How are you doing, otherolderlad?
I've always had the personality of a middle-aged man, but my body took a few decades to catch up.
I do slightly miss being the unusually young person at the steam rally/antiques fair/folk club/woodworking show. I miss having all my hair. I occasionally get panicked at the passage of time and how much the man in the bathroom mirror looks like my dad.
Otherwise, middle age is treating me very well indeed. My elbows hurt for no discernible reason, but that seems like a fair trade for being so much more comfortable in my own skin. It's like I unlocked a cheat code at some point in my mid-thirties that made me totally immune to any kind of shame. I didn't notice it happening, there was no grand awakening, I just gradually stopped giving a shit about other people's opinions. If I pissed myself in public, the only thing I'd feel is damp. It's a frankly dangerous level of Mad Uncle Energy. I feel like I'm five years off walking around with a ferret in my coat pocket or letting teenagers smoke weed in my caravan.
Well, that's rather boring from an olderlad perspective.
Did you know that the average man in their 20's today has the same level of testosterone in their bodies as a 60 year old man in the 1990's. Look at Wim Hof, top olderlad, now it's Harry Styles.
I don't give a toss how much testosterone I have, because it has nothing to do with my sense of masculinity. My self-image as a man is completely tied up in being useful. I'm not the person you come to if you need a shoulder to cry on, but I am the person you come to when you need someone to sort your fucking life out. I'll fix your car, I'll rod your drains, I'll show you how to do your tax return, I'll pick you up when you've missed the last train.
Wim Hof just seems a bit sad to me. He can withstand the cold, but what's the fucking point? I've got a coat mate. He seems to be just another vacuous "motivational" type who prattles on about overcoming your limits and harnessing your inner power. I don't need inner power, I've got a load of Dewalt batteries in the van and three phase running to the shed.
Covid killed my business (adventure travel related), and I lost 20-25k on stock and fund investments but I sort of feel like I can do anything. My fitness levels are way higher than most men in their 20s, I can pass the majority of military fitness test by a good margin, obviously not as good as when it mattered, I’ve gotten back into Muay Thai after a long time away and had my first professional fight a week after my birthday, I’ve also started coaching it for local yoof and it’s going well.
I also took six months out to travel which was amazing and I will do more of, my only problem right now is deciding what to do next as I have several options. Maybe I will make a choose your own adventure type thread.
>>450829 I do give a toss about my testosterone, because it dictates my ease of building muscle and how much of a gutty fucker I am. I don't use those things to gauge my 'manhood' whatever that is, but simply because it makes me healthier and fitter.
Can you actually influence your own level of testosterone? I'm not a /fit/lad so I've never really thought about these things. I'd imagine diet makes a difference, but it can't make that much difference or else surely evangelist christian korean youtubers would jut eat loads of brocolli or whatever instead of taking pills.
Does having high T make your willy get stiff more often/more easily? I'm only in my early 30s, but I've noticed the old chap can be a bit lazy compared to the days of my youth. I'm not worried about wrinkles or going grey or any of those visible signs of ageing, but I'm not prepared to let age leave me a floppy sausage.
>>450833 I'm not sure you can unfortunately. Exercise - and sexercise - probably help a bit. I've asked on here before why steroids are bad and the answer was that it can fuck up your body's natural production.
I too am in the early thirties and have noticed erections are slightly tougher to achieve. Nothing to start taking pills over though.
Better cardiovascular health will plainly make it easier to get erections. If I remember right, blood serum testosterone levels correlate with bodyfat, and especially abdominal bodyfat. Sleep deprivation also has a terrible effect on testosterone, both acutely and chronically.
With exercise, you can tick off all of these pathways to better testosterone to some degree.
>>450817 Wim Hof (stupid name) looks a lot more stereotypically masculine than Audie Murphy, but...
>The Germans scored a direct hit on an M10 tank destroyer. Murphy ordered his men to retreat to positions in the woods, remaining alone at his post... directing artillery fire via his field radio while the Germans aimed fire directly at his position. Murphy mounted the abandoned, burning tank destroyer and began firing its .50 caliber machine gun at the advancing Germans... For an hour, Murphy stood on the flaming tank destroyer returning German fire from foot soldiers and advancing tanks, killing or wounding 50 Germans. He sustained a leg wound during his stand, and stopped only after he ran out of ammunition. Murphy rejoined his men and led them back to repel the Germans. He insisted on remaining with his men while his wounds were treated.
So I'm not sure how important being all hairy is in terms of being a dead hard, masculine, bloke.
What >>450815 lad said, you just stop giving a toss about many things that were so utterly important in times bygone. You either had a career and plenty of romantic endeavours or you didn't, you're either a millionaire or you're not, but in the end, everybody eats, shits and breathes just the same as you. As long as you've not been a complete failure at every single milestone that's supposed to be a mark of your success as a functioning adult, you're ok with it.
Getting old is pretty downright shit when you think of the whole concept of it, but on the other hand, there's not much you can do. Being in your mid to late 40s isn't the end of the world, although it can feel like it some days when you get up out of your bed. You've still got a number of good years in you. But you also can't deny the fact that a lot of the aging process is about letting go. Of your looks, of your physical fitness and agility, and of certain things you just don't have the energy to do anymore. All the partying you did as a teen- and twenlad and perhaps into your 30s will have become next to impossible, and that's not just because you probably have too many obligations and responsibilities in your life to constantly spend your weeknights off your tits in some trendy new bar or club. You just bloody can't do it anymore, because waking up the next day after five pints will feel like you're coming off chemotherapy. Back at uni, I at least managed to go to the less demanding lectures the next day like it was nothing. Nowadays, I'd probably have to take the whole day off and stay in bed nursing a gigantic hangover.
And as that implies, nothing is sadder than a lad who tries to cling to his youth in that way. It's bad enough to see your contemporaries trying to pull off the printed T shirt, sport jacket, jeans and trainers look at age 47.
>And as that implies, nothing is sadder than a lad who tries to cling to his youth in that way. It's bad enough to see your contemporaries trying to pull off the printed T shirt, sport jacket, jeans and trainers look at age 47.
I haven't changed the way I dress since I was about 17 and I don't plan to.
The part that makes you look like a sad bastard is when you're trying to play catch up and stick with what's fashionable today, but for me there will be a ton of middle aged blokes walking around in Vans and skinny jeans so I won't look out of place. That will just be what middle aged men look like in the 2030s.
You're right in that implicit dress codes for middle aged men have changed fundamentally in the last 20 years or so. It's much more acceptable these days to keep dressing the way you did 20 years ago. That said, it's not really a bad idea to tone it down a little, because with your sense of style as you age, there's a thin line between being young at heart and just being a sad case.
There was a good article on the GQ website a while ago with some good pointers, although some of the suggested otufits are indeed a bit daft. At any age.
How old is an olderlad? I kind of view it more as a place you arrive at; house, family, comfortable career position, that sort of thing. So I'm early 30s but I don't feel old because I still have the stressful fuckabouts you have in your 20s.
>>450833 If it's below a certain point I know doctors will prescribe supplements, although as you can imagine you don't really want to be fucking about with your hormones lest you grow a pair of tits or shrink your testicles.
>>450815 lad again. It might just be me, but I think you just become more grateful for making it through the day unscathed. The trivialities of everyday life bother you much less when you've watched your dad die or had a cancer scare or been through a rough divorce. It might sound pessimistic, but life is fucking hard. Either you learn to roll with the punches and find happiness in the small things, or you turn into a bitter husk.
>>450808 I'm 52 soon. Still feel pretty great about getting old, my forties and fifties are way way easier than say my thirties were.
The one aspect that gave me pause for thought this past year was changing job - I found that for the first time, I wasn't getting asked for interviews I would have expected to get, and didn't get offered a couple of jobs I really thought I would get - it all worked out fine in the end, and I found something pretty fantastic, higher paid and remote-only - but it took a bit longer than I was expecting and definitely felt that age could be a factor.
>>450849 I'm 34, and lately, there have been a suspiciously high number of posters here who are 1-5 years younger than me. That, or one poster who really likes mentioning his age, but only in very vague terms.
>I think you just become more grateful for making it through the day unscathed. The trivialities of everyday life bother you much less when you've watched your dad die or had a cancer scare or been through a rough divorce. It might sound pessimistic, but life is fucking hard.
Very well said. I've had some absolute fucking tragedy in my life of a magnitude that would have done other people's head in. As a result, a lot of people today actually say they admire my ability to not become unsettled by all the everyday annoyances and just keep calm and carry on. Well, it is hard earned. Every shrug of my shoulders at something that is as minor as it is inevitable is the consequence of having been to hell and back in my life and having realised what really matters.
One thing where I really notice nowadays that life is about drawing enjoyment from all the little things is that I've really gotten into gardening. It's absolutely brilliant, nothing beats the feeling of spending a few hours in the back garden planting two dozen new strawberry plants like I did yesterday and then looking at the result with great satisfaction and looking forward to plenty of your own homegrown strawberries come June. I used to roll my eyes at my parents for their love of gardening, telling them that it was "such an old people's hobby", but here we are now, I'm old, and I enjoy it every bit as much as they did.
Think the most important thing here is not to end up with the all too typical beer gut. That'll fuck up how you look no matter if you're 21 or 61. My dad's just hit 59 but he was a fireman and cycles a shit load and I dare say he'd pull just as well as me.
