>>457669

I must have missed that.

>>457671

I often wondered if I could get away with bringing my Sack Truck and some collapsible stacking crates intos Sainsbogs, but this Lad took the Dieter Rams route and won.

>>457695
When you think about it, it's basically just a Screwfix version of one of those tartan shopping trollies.

Alright, I'm blaming you lot. I went on Facebook and loads of the adverts I'm seeing are for fashion sites for fat women. I haven't even gone on anything like this, whatsoever, so it must be happening because one of you lads said they'd been browsing lingerie for heifers and that's triggered something somewhere.

>>457705

The algorithm is a man of taste and discernment.

>>457705
I get dozens of "Suggested for You" poems about women being sad their man left them. There's never any wholesome happy ending or anything like that, I just clicked Like on some poetry that I liked, got more of it, and now I get an endless supply of gloomy miserable shit that isn't even good poetry. Unfortunately, I just went scrolling and couldn't find a single one; they've all vanished just as I need them. If you have rescued me, then thank you. The shit mopey fat-single-woman-with-ice-cream poetry really took off around my 35th birthday; I wonder if Facebook thinks I am a very lonely woman?

>>457712
I have not been rescued. I still get the shit poetry. Look at it. It's awful. Probably 80% of the ones I get are by this same awful woman as well.

>>457717
I think women have much lower standards about what they consider good writing. That's why things like Harry Potter, Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey were incredibly popular with them.

>>457718
Not true; women will tear any male-written description of women to shreds. I think it's more that women relate more easily to this stuff and are more likely to be (publicly) supportive of other women who write it.

I start a new job next month and I'm going to have to be in the office for the first two weeks for my induction, however I'm fairly confident that only two of my pre-lockdown shirts will still fit me.

Where do people buy shirts from these days? In the before times I used to get most of them from Debenhams during their January sales, which isn't an option any more.

>>457717

That is pretty awful. I'm sure it means something to the author. Or they're the first draft of Evanescence lyrics.

£125 on the premium bonds this month. Oii oii.

Had about three hours of sleep. I don't feel tired as such, yet, but I do feel like I've two glasses of wine or thereabouts. Who knows what I might accomplish.

Apparently the NHS pay deal has been approved, meaning I should get a £1000 lump sum in June. Not sure what to spend it on. Was going to upgrade my PC but is it worth spending a grand on parts just so I can play Total War Warhammer 3? Or I could pay off some debts. Or go on a city break.

>>457724

>pay off some debts

This is obviously the sensible option.

>>457720

>Where do people buy shirts from these days?

I get most of mine from Uniqlo.

>>457724
You'll lose about half of it in tax, so keep a few quid to treat yourself to a Calippo and use the rest on your debts.

>>457724

Bit more than a grand, it'll be 5% of your 22/23 pay. So assumingyou have worked for the nhs over a year, it'll be 1600 or thereabouts for band 2, 1700 for band 3, 1800, for band 4, and so on; then you get into the bands who don't even really need a payrise anyway until it caps off around 4k.

But yeah a chunk of it will be swallowed by tax and your usual pension contributions etc, although it's never going to be "half" of it like otherlad says. If you're band 2 or 3 I'd still expect a good 1400 quid. The only bit I doubt is that it'll come in June.

Mines just going to go on a fee things I've been putting off like renewing my passport, getting my oven's heating filament fixed, and then I'll probably treat myself and the missus to a night out with a bit of sniff and put the rest into savings.

>>457727
>although it's never going to be "half" of it like otherlad says

Income tax will be 20% to 40%.
NI will be 12% to 2%.
Student loan will be 9%.

That could quite easily be 51% in deductions, excluding pension contributions.

How dangerous would it be to eat a pigeon? I have found numerous recipes online about eating fancy and delicious pigeons that were bred specifically, but obviously I am talking about the pigeons you see at the bus stop, with chewing gum stuck to them and dog shit on them. If I cleaned it up a bit, would such a pigeon be edible? Would it be nice? I'm willing to cook it for a long time, obviously.

>>457729
People eat fish all the time and they're marinated in pollution and they're full of parasites and microplastics. As long as you don't go for one that's clearly unwell it'd probably be fine if you properly prepared it and cooked it at the right temperature, although I can't see it tasting well.

You'd probably be better catching pigeons and breeding them for a few generations before eating them. That should eradicate any street miasma.

>>457729
>>457730


Just know your limits.


https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/pigeon-eating-incident-treated-crime-460800

>'Pigeon eating' incident treated as a crime, RSPCA 'concerned'

>>457729

>How dangerous would it be to eat a pigeon?

Not very. They can carry diseases that can be transmitted to humans, but you'd be very unlikely to catch anything from cooked meat. The main risk is psittacosis, which is mainly transmitted by inhaling dried shit or feather dust; it's a fairly mild illness that can easily be treated with antibiotics.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/psittacosis

>>457731

It's perfectly legal to stuff a rucksack with pigeons as long as you're doing it to stop people from slipping on their shit. If you happen to eat those pigeons, that's just a bonus.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/wild-birds-licence-to-kill-or-take-for-public-health-or-safety-gl41/gl41-general-licence-to-kill-or-take-certain-species-of-wild-birds-to-preserve-public-health-or-public-safety

>>457732

>It's perfectly legal to stuff a rucksack with pigeons

Just wait till a mob of distraught birdlovers wrestles you to the ground at Exeter city centre.

Also though, animal protection laws still apply, which forbid cruelty to animals even if you are legally allowed to hunt them. Stuffing a dozen live pigeons into a rucksack is probably not allowed.

I have a feeling that pigeon stuffing will become the new canal pushing on .gs.

I've been trying to watch Limmy play Fallout 4. Fucking 3 hour 47 minute video for 30 minutes of gameplay. Numerous "How'd that happen?!" events when infact 'that' is what Limmy did mere moments ago.
I guess streaming videogames is made up of these funny back and forth moments with the audience but this is so fucking tedius and slow.

How do people gain motivation? I'd like some but don't have any.

>>457735
It's all momentum, so I'm afraid it starts with forcing yourself. What do you want to be motivated to do?

>>457734

That's just Limmy though to be honest. He's not really a conventional videogame streamer, his streams just use videogames a sort of backdrop and justification for what I'd describe as an improvisational comedy persona, and parasocial relationship anchor.

I think he deliberately leans into the parasocial aspect, because a lot of his stuff is just him interacting with chat and so on. And frankly he's just not actually all that funny when he's just dicking about in front of a camera, but he knows how to make it seem like you're actually engaging with him. Which, to be fair, might be entirely genuine- I don't imagine he's got loads of mates IRL either.

>>457734
I find with a lot of streamers it's just annoying watching them learn a game when myself, a level 500 turbovirgin giganto-nerd, can swiftly internalise the controls to basically any game in less than a second. Another problem is often they're just boring as fuck. They don't say anything interesting, they don't crack jokes and they barely even seem to be enjoying what they're playing. As you might have guessed I don't tend to watch many streamers. I did try to watch a stream of Contrapoints playing Subnautica for the first time a while back, because I like her and that game a great deal. However, after about half-an-hour she packed it in and played Oblivion instead. I understood why though, because playing Subnautica for the first time with hundreds of people "backseating" you and telling you to turn the enemies to safe mode and whatever, is a bit like watching a Michael Haneke film on a Friday night in the pub. You aren't really getting the proper experience.

In fairness, streaming is probably harder than it looks. I remember trying to chat online to a mate while I was rallying around in Assetto Corsa one time and I was almost monosyllabic and processing so little of what he was saying that I had to stop. It made me realise Jimmy Broadbent has something of a minor superpower compared to most people, or me anyway.

>>457729
They have already been bred specifically as a food. Pigeons were one of humanities first domesticated animals and the various adaptation we bred into them (tolerance for living cooped up with humans most obviously) have allowed them to hang around us like a mistress that still expects us to leave chicken any day now.

>>457731
>>457733
I knew it wouldn't be long before the woke brigade cried fowl.

>>457739

If you want to eat wild pigeon, then why not go after wood pigeons. At least it'll make it worth your while because some of them can almost grow to the size of a small chicken.

>>457728

It's non-pensionable, which is either a good thing or a bad thing depending how you look at it. And that means it's only going to reach the half threshold if otherlad is pushing the higher bands, which considering he's got debts to pay off, seems unlikely.

I feel like if we were German there'd be a specific word for that little layer you get when you pull apart breadcakes.

Why does tea sometimes taste bad? Home brewed by the same kettle, same brand teabags, same tap (so I'm presuming the same water), but for some reason it tastes like tin.

If I win today's election I will heal society by giving everyone on the electoral register an Xbox 360, a copy of Rockband (2007) and one instrument controller of their choice.

>>457747

Sometimes that happens for me and I think that maybe the water isn't fresh enough or doesn't circulate enough to release the goodness. I always stir it before letting it sit now.

Is there a social services for dogs?

I mentioned last year that someone on my street got a staffie (>>449604>>449606) and it's repeatedly getting loose and jumping up at people; half the time they aren't even aware it's escaped. They rarely walk it and I don't think it's had any training because it has no recall or listen to their commands. I know there's the RSPCA but they'd probably do fuck all as it isn't being abused. It wouldn't surprise me at all if it attacks someone sooner or later.

>>457757
If it's getting out then let the community cops know and maybe they can scare the owners straight. Just mention it's getting into the road or what-have-you.

>>457758
Community cops?

>>457759
I assume he means the old polycystic ovaries (PCSOs).

>>457757

You can try the environmental health department at your local council. A lot of councils have cut back, but some still have a dog warden for dealing with stray and unruly dogs. You could call the police on 101, but they probably won't do anything.

>>457757
You could consider it a street dog and take it under your wing. Be nice to it, train it to be the local public guard dog. It might eventually gregard you and your family with affection and become a loved fixture of the community.

>>457761

This. And you can go to the local police. According to gov.uk, they will take your call at 101.

https://www.gov.uk/control-dog-public/report-a-dog

Staffordshire bull terriers don't fall under the Dangerous Dog Act in the UK, but that doesn't mean a poorly behaved one can't hurt people. And anyone at the council or police who has had to deal with them first-hand will know to take your call seriously. I'm sure they encounter a staffie at every other drug raid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okANIupG-o8

Made me laugh. For some reason.

>>457764

Twenty years ago, I would have been absolutely infatuated with her.

>>457765

Imagine her turning you down in that kind of sing song...

"I'm afraid I won't take it up the arse at this time, but that's a nice tatto you've got. Where did you have it done?"

Christ, this is getting sad. Also Laura Kuenssberg's really annoying.

When you were a kid if someone said "pack it in" would someone reply with "Paķi's don't come in tins, they come in boxes/banana boats/something else" or is that just a northern thing?

>>457767
She's definitely changed over the past year or so into an entirely different person. Almost like she's slowly morphing into Andrew Neil.

>>457769
How has she changed? I haven't noticed anything. She was the main presenter for last night's coverage, which I acknowledge she never used to be, but as a journalist she's still the "ask tough questions, accept worthless softball answers" epitome of BBC reporting that she has always been.

>>457769
If you must insist on posting that photo, at least get his name wrong too.