>>460555
I think that was the one over a woman sucking on her poo. I don't have a scat fetish, even though I did make a post last year (I think) about chomping on my girlfriend's poo and it being like warm Weetabix, but there's something so depraved about watching a woman pushing out a solid turd and then sucking on it like a lollipop which really stirs something inside me on the extremely rare occasions I watch it.

>>460556

> but there's something so depraved about watching a woman pushing out a solid turd and then sucking on it like a lollipop which really stirs something inside me on the extremely rare occasions I watch it.

You are truly a man of finer tastes.

>>460557
What do you go for when you need to get your kicks but your usual material isn't doing it for you anymore, so you have to increase the depravity?

>>460556
That's not a fetish, it's a mental illness.

>>460559

>a mental illness

Only if it causes distress or marked functional impairment.

>>460558

> but your usual material isn't doing it for you anymore, so you have to increase the depravity?

My usual material is 20something straight or lesbian college girls, but on days where that doesn't do it, I branch out into young post-op transsexuals. They're a bit hard to find, good looking ones under 30 anyway, so you have to trawl a few niche sites. Or rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk.

>>460561
Lesbian porn is the most boring porn.

I got drunk with a bird at her place but passed out before we could shag. How do you lads balance alcohol's ability to lower social inhibitions with its tendency to make you sleepy? Should I switch from beer to vodka red bulls or summat?

>>460556

My kinks are fucked up, but mine are disturbing in a psychological way, and I really don't understand the appeal of something so viscerally disgusting as this. The gut reaction of aversion is too overwhelming to even contemplate it. Either way I applaud your determination.

Over the years I have grown more and more fond of the idea of watching a lass piss, and also making her hold it. Not having her piss on me, not pissing on her, nothing like that, but just purely making her do it while she knows I'm watching. Making her surrender both control and privacy. Sexualising something that's supposed to be quite innocent. See? It's all psychological with me.

The thing is I never anticipated how strong this kink would sneak up on me as I've got older, and by now I get a bit of a semi if a lass at work says she needs a wee.

>>460560
If it doesn't, are you really trying hard enough?

>>460561
>I branch out into young post-op transsexuals
A evangelist christian korean youtuber without a penis is like an angel without wings - ancient Brazilian proverb

The deathcaps I handled the day before yesterday when removing them from the park so they wouldn't harm children gave me diarrhea and nausea just from touching them with my bare hands and a while later eating a few crisps without remembering to wash my hands first. Even though the Internet says that this shouldn't normally cause problems when handling poisonous mushrooms, as you'd actually have to eat them for the toxins to enter your body.

Being that you have to eat around one whole fully grown deathcap specimen for certain death (without treatment), the amount I may have ingested accidentally from handling them with my bare hands was probably in the microgram range. But it was enough to affect me.

I'm feeling better now, but keeping a close eye on any delayed symptoms that can appear again a few days later when you're dealing with deathcaps, and I'm fully prepared to go into A&E if I have to. At the moment, it still seems like it was a slight brush with what could have been very serious health consequences. I don't think I'm in any real danger.

So yeah. No good deed goes unpunished. Don't even touch deathcaps if you see them. Just avoid them completely. They are evidently extremely poisonous.

>>460564
That's my fetish too, and I wank to it exclusively. Probably over 99% of my wanks involve women's piss somehow. I have often tried to get into poo as well, but I just can't do it. It occurred to me last year that I think the problem with poo is that it never looks like my poo, and I get distracted wondering if she's got an illness or if I do. If they're too dry, or too wet, or too lumpy, then suddenly it's like it's not even poo any more and the whole thing just becomes distractingly confusing.

>>460567
RIP, lad.

>>460560
Scat is on the same level as paedophila, in terms of deviency.

>>460567
Might be an idea to pick up some gloves. I don't want to be left alone with shitmuncherlad. Hope you're alright from here on out.

>>460558
Porn games, try a different genre for novelty. I'd say getting a new bird can shake up your sexual proclivities a little but that might be more trouble than it's worth in your case.

>>460563
1. Never finish the drink she/you pours, I'm surprised I have to explain this one. At that stage it's just counter-productive for the both of you and is a 'we're obviously going to fuck but we need to keep the pretence'. Make your move and move to necking and all that to get you both hot and bothered enough that you don't care.

2. Yeah definitely, it's calorie dense after all, beer gives you much worse guts than spirits too so I avoid it out of principle. I've warmed to tequila lately, from experience; gin sneaks up on you, whisky effects performance and vodka will give you spots.

>>460567
I've been thinking about the innocent tramp or binman since you first posted about throwing them out with no regard for sealing them away. Next time ring the local council or NPIS who can deal with it properly.

>>460567

You're right to be cautious and please do call A&E if you have to, but do you also think it might just be that picking up things from the ground and not washing your hands, then eating, that might have caused your diarrhea and nausea?

Regular old "I was growing on the floor" bacteria can do exactly that.

Can you lads please stop talking about mushrooms giving you the runs? You're going to set me off again.

>>460572

I called 111 this morning and talked to a poisoning expert, who said that if I really only ingested minute trace amounts of deathcap mushroom accidentally, it's not likely that it'll be life threatening or cause lasting damage, as they normally only see cases where people have actually swallowed and eaten a certain amount of them. But because I appeared to have an initial reaction, she urged me to go and have a blood sample taken to ensure my liver isn't being damaged. Which usually happens from about day three to four after consuming deathcaps, and should be detectable with an adequate blood test.

I've been going mushroom foraging my entire life. This is the first time that I'm having somewhat serious problems. Well, not counting that one time where I discovered that I can't eat sticky bun mushrooms. Which aren't poisonous per se and are eaten by many people, but it's known that some people can get gastrointestinal symptoms from them.

>>460574

Well, go and get your blood test and report back, fam.

>>460574
I ate from a beaten up bruised mushroom from the ground. This one time. I broke the rest of it into pieces only to find it full of tiny white worms. Lovely jubbly.

>>460577

I wasn't expecting .gs to be full of body horror today, but there we are.

So I went into A&E for a blood test. It came back that I had very slightly elevated liver enzymes that they told me they would expect to go up in somebody with liver-toxic mushroom poisoning. But the good news was that they said that they're still not in a range that they'd consider worrying. And that three days after ingestion, somebody with full-on deathcap poisoning from eating an entire meal would normally have their liver enzymes looking "infinitely more dire". They said mushroom toxins cannot really enter the body through skin contact just by touching them, but it's thinkable that tiny amounts of it got on the crisps I was eating without washing my hands.

So anyway, they told me that although it's not that likely at this point that I'll become gravely ill, I need to come back tomorrow for another blood test because they now need to monitor my liver closely, as even small amounts of alpha-amanitin can cause liver damage when it goes into enterohepatic circulation. I was given high-dosage milk thistle extract capsules which I now have to take until further notice, as they're the only known antidote that can protect the liver against liver-toxic mushroom poisoning.

Well, again. Stay away from deathcaps. Fucking bastards.

>>460579
And to think, this all started because
>>460543
>I spotted a few picture perfect deathcaps in a park just down the road here this afternoon.

So my question is: did you actually take any pictures? I don't know anything about mushrooms, and while it's true that I don't go picking mushrooms ever, you're still making me really want to know exactly which ones I need to doubly avoid.

>>460580

No, I didn't take pictures. But just look at pictures of deathcaps online. Once you know what they look like, they're hard to get wrong.

If you want to get a taste of mushroom foraging but want to play it safe, go to a pine or fir forest and look for bay boletes. They are somewhat abundant if the conditions are right, and you can't really go wrong with them and mistake them for deadly or poisonous lookalikes, because there aren't any. If cooked or fried thoroughly, bay boletes are among the best tasting mushrooms you can eat. Do cook them though, they're mildly poisonous when eaten raw.

I fell asleep at work the other day. So to prevent that, today I had half a pack of Pro Plus and four cans of energy drink. But then I was oscillating from excess energy, so I had 4 diazepam pills to try level me out. I don't have much of an appetite and I feel like I could punch a hole through my wall. So it's not going great.

>>460582

>I had half a pack of Pro Plus and four cans of energy drink

Jesus wept, you might as well cut out the middleman and just punch yourself in the heart.

>>460582

You'd have better luck if you just get some amphetamines mate. Stop fucking about like a teenager and do it properly.

>>460582
Fatigue is one sign of mushroom poisoning. This is it, mushroom ITZ

>>460581
>If you want to get a taste of mushroom foraging but want to play it safe, go to a pine or fir forest and look for bay boletes.
I'm not eating this. It looks like my cock.

>>460586
Still? If it's not gone back to normal after a week you might want to see a GP.

>>460586

Wait till you see the Common Stinkhorn, phallus impudicus.

They're actually edible during the immature egg stage. I've heard they taste like radish.

>>460588
Mushrooms don't lay eggs.

>>460589

https://www.thegrizzlyforager.co.uk/witch-eggs/

I might have posted this before but I found a 'Clethrus Rubar' Devils Cage many years ago, they're apparently quite rare. I went back for a few years hoping to find it again but no.
The strange thing was it smelled very sweet and pleasant - contrary to the reccorded smell of death and decomposition. I imagine this to be because the thing itself was decaying, not in fruit or whatever.

>>460591
Need a Rule 34 on the Common Stinkhorn doing the nasty with the Devils Cage.

>>460591

>it smelled very sweet and pleasant - contrary to the reccorded smell of death and decomposition

Rotting corpses have a very particular sickly-sweet smell that's quite unlike anything else. When someone dies alone and their corpse starts stinking out their house, I'm not surprised that often the neighbours don't realise what the bad smell is - it doesn't smell like you'd imagine it would.

>>460593

>Rotting corpses have a very particular sickly-sweet smell that's quite unlike anything else.

True.

When I was a younglad, one time there was a dead cat lying in the bushes on the side of a road around where I lived, it probably got run over and died, and I still remember walking past it every other day and smelling the stench that came off the carcass.

>>460593
I donno mate, I smelled numerous dead rabits, ferrets and the like. They definitely smelled awful.

It's good to see you've all got appropriate life events for the opening of any true crime documentaries they make about you. I remember one about Shipman where they tried to make a big deal about how much he went jogging and it didn't land imo, but this stuff's way better.

I'm not saying never have kids but, fucking hell, Roblox creates so much drama.

At risk of sounding like a wagie corporate dick sucker, my current job at a call centre for a private sector multinational energy firm, is significantly more understanding of my mental health situation than the NHS or civil service. It's bizarre because I'd always been told public sector are super lenient and private sector are heartless bastards, but I've found the opposite to be true.

Today I skipped lunch because I had a poorly tum-tum. But then I was extra hungry at dinner and ended up eating a whole stuffed crust pizza from Iceland for myself along with a pack of doughnuts and a multipack of Monter Munch. And Last Friday I thought I could afford the calories to have a McDonald's for lunch and just some Sarah Millican's Squelchy Fanny Custard for dinner. It didn't work out.

Don't skip lunch, lads. And they've monkeyed with the Monster Munch recipe, it tastes stale now.

>>460602
Which flavour did you go for? I find the beef one smells of piss, and pickled onion is obviously vile. Only flamin' hot is worth it.

Went in for another blood test tonight. Liver enzymes look better than yesterday. No further action needed but I was told to keep watching for symptoms.

Sat across from a council estate looking mum with her probably underage daughter in the waiting area. They didn't really say why they were there, but I gathered that it was because her daughter was having pregnancy complications.

Broken Britain.

>>460603
>pickled onion is obviously vile

Didn't realise I'd be spending my weekend having a cunt-off about crisps. What's wrong, is it too strong a flavour for you?

>>460601

As an ex-NHSLad, I can confirm that the supposedly "outstanding" rated trust I used to work for did not give a fuck about mental health. Especially if you made the mistake of telling your manager that you're actually autistic (and not the internet flavour of it). Then they can't get rid of you quickly enough, even if you've cleary been smashing it at your job until the bomb dropped. It's like"oh christ, I can' be arsed with a having a retard on my team".

>>460606
I have an aversion to strong smelling crisps, and I find pickled onion's sharp smell penetrates my senses in an unpleasant way. Also certain flavours in crisp form make me feel sick. I like cheese, but cheesy crisps are vile. I like sour cream and chive dip, but again the crisp version is offputting.

How do I become a eskimo? Can I just rock up at a igloo like you can a CofE church? I'm white but I do have a big beard.

>>460615
I imagine they would welcome you, but treat you with suspicion for a while to make absolutely sure you aren't going to become a daft militant wog or join ISIS.