>school sports hall edition.

Why does every 'UK General' thread on every imageboard do this?

>>462228
Because you're still getting triggered by it >>441562.

I've never seen a sports hall like that in this country. Why are there so many basketball hoops? Where's The Apparatus and obligatory 80-year-old gymnastics horse thing?

My 2023 was great thanks. Transitional. I finally got myself to a place where I have what I thought I needed to be happy and free to do the things I want and it's working in the way I hoped.

>>462230
My secondary school had one sports hall like this, but we only ever used it for indoor cricket or when we'd play badminton and try to hit the opposition as hard as possible with the shuttlecock. The hoops were never used.

There was a smaller sports hall as well with climbing apparatus, but that was only ever used for playing benchball. We'd only be indoors if it was too wet to be outside.

>>462226
Looks more like a 90's leisure centre.

Only if we can get The Apparatus out.

I haven't really watched much TV and I've probably only seen one or two new films last year so I can't comment on those, but my favourite songs released last year were:-

1. Petit à Petit by Ireke (ft. Agnès Hélène).

https://youtu.be/zHvCfhvlK7c

2. Cold Reactor by Everything Everything.

https://youtu.be/l81HZfkLwpk

3. Nothing Works by Declan McKenna.

https://youtu.be/qyVwCzpI63I

4. You Should Have Known Better by Air Drawn Dagger.

https://youtu.be/wwcU-Y8MHCQ

5. That Time of Year Always by Crawlers.

https://youtu.be/UdvplNzQDNA

6. Sinner by The Last Dinner Party.

https://youtu.be/oFsJuYb42hw

7. Kiss Ur Face Forever by Orla Gartland.

https://youtu.be/I7G_nk7zb0k

8. Black Eye by Allie X.

https://youtu.be/19aPQJ2HYc8

9. Labour by Paris Paloma.

https://youtu.be/jvU4xWsN7-A

10. Brambles by Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes.

https://youtu.be/E9RdRtLUeQw

That's off the top of my head while I'm having a poo, so there's bound to be some I've missed off. My taste in music is a lot mellower than it used to be.

>>462236
Hey, it's you again. I probably listened to all of those songs that you posted here, and I'm very grateful for a couple of them. Please keep doing it.

>>462230

My school sports hall looked almost identical to that, only with 20 years of scuff marks on the floor and six layers of paint peeling off the walls. There was a big walk-in cupboard that housed The Apparatus; it smelled of feet and was rumoured to be the scene of a variety of events that we would now describe as sexual assaults.

Found an old Anna Kournikova calendar from 2002 again in a corner of my basement under some rubbish.

She was insanely fit. Nobody cares that she was a shit tennis player.

>>462242
You're welcome. I think the only song I missed off the list would be Another Good Year for the Roses by Kurt Vile.

Is Warhammer 40K really satirical? I think there was a thing last year where someone turned up a tournament in Nazi attire, and Games Workshop released a statement stressing that 40K is satire. But playing Rogue Trader and listening to an Adepta Sororitas audiobook, it's not really satirical is it? It very much celebrates the fascist theocracy of the Imperium of Man. I don't have an issue with it, but lots of 40K spin off media is played completely straight, so them saying the fashy stuff is satire feels a bit disingenuous.

>>462230

My school had three distinct ones, actually maybe four if we count the main hall where assemblies etc took place (because as I understand it way back in the old days that was probably the sports hall too).

There was the 1960s gym which was exactly as you describe. Parkour wooden floor that smelt of that distinct weird musty popcorn odour, it never needed the lights on because two sides of it were made of floor to ceiling windows. That was where The Apparatus, the blue mats, and The Horse lived.

Then there was one that was much more like OP's picture, and it had the most disgusting orange flourescent lighting; but it had a more lino type floor with various markings for basketballs, tennis, and all that, and loads of curtains you could draw across to divide it into squash or cricket lanes. This was where they made us do barn dancing every christmas.

Then there was the one which was basically just a big empty white room and ostensibly a sports hall, but for some reason was only ever used as an overflow lunch hall, and one time we had That Talk About Drugs.

I really want to revisit my old school now and see how it holds up to my memory. How bad of an idea do you reckon it is to break in at night and just have a wander around?

>>462250

It's not "satirical" in the sense that it's not directly taking the piss out of real life ideologies or figures, it's not a direct analogy for a specific target. But honestly, I don't understand why people get hung up on this.

We are used to the concept of anti-heroes; characters who ultimately aren't good people and who we shouldn't see as rolemodels, but are still acceptable and sympathetic protagonists who do the "right" thing in the end. 40k's Imperium of Man is perhaps what you might see as an anti-hero on the scale of an entire civillisation.

The setting in general is pretty much the genre defining example of what we call "grimdark", so it's not exactly going to be full of suinshine and rainbows. If there's a few wehraboo wankers out there who get a bit too enthusiastic about Death Korps of Krieg, well, so be it. I refuse to even approach the line of thinking that representation implies endorsement because going down that road will ultimately destroy the very idea of storytelling and fiction.

>>462252
Perhaps I'm overthinking it. I think a lot of 40K media is played fairly straight, it doesn't have the sort of nudge and wink of Starship Troopers or RoboCop (except for Ciaphas Cain maybe?). I really like the world they've built, it's probably my favourite sci-fi setting, but I can totally see why Nazis would be attracted to the franchise.

Speaking of the Adepta Sororitas audiobook, it actually managed to make Orks really scary and sinister, compared to something like Dawn Of War where the Orks are wacky cockney ruffians.

My mum is staying over for a few nights this week. I've just gone downstairs, only to find her coat on the floor and my cat shitting on it. For fuck's sake.

>>462235

Bagsy hiding in the horse when it gets put away so I can scare the Dinner Ladies when they put the tables and chairs out.

>>462253

I think a lot of it does come down to the way different writers handle the setting. A lot of the Black Library stuff is pretty terrible, in that you can tell the writers just do not get it.

But I have always put it in the same category as stuff like those Verhoeven movies like you mention. It doesn't have the outright humour any more- It used to in the old days, at least if you went looking for it, but I don't think it really needs that in order to convey the same thing.

Like... Yeah, it might play everything straight, but it'd take a complete fucking idiot (I dare venture a blue haired, bespectacled, Acrobat using idiot) to mistake anything about the setting as intended to glorify the fascism and genocide etc contained within. Like... Everything about it, the entire point, hammered in from the very fist page when you open any of the main 40K rulebooks, is that this is a terrible, awful, hellish setting.

Know what I mean? Like, the whole entire point is that the closest thing you have to a "good guy" is a literal fascist, indoctrinated zealot, pumped up on space steroids, in power armour. You know he isn't actually a good guy, he's outright awful, but that's how fucked the 41st millenium is.

>>462256

We've established that it does enable actual fascists (at least, at a higher rate than other hobbies; woodworking, crochet) and your contention is that simultaneously, someone would have to be some sort of (imagined) trans-inclusive progressive outgroup Marxist untermensch (an image you conjoured using the far right's clichés and stereotypes) to see it as something that enables fascists, and that that person is stupid rather than you?
I think you may be retarded. I don't think the space marine to white nationalist pipeline is big enough to be an issue, but I do think you're retarded.

>>462258

I'm literally a Marxist myself, weak effort mate. Go to bed.

>>462259

With that sort of context we can see what you said was even more idiotic.

It's always important to remember, when discussing stuff like this, is that the far-right is basically incapable of creating it's own cultural output. That's why they adopt, or co-opt might be more apt, anything from Warhammer 40k to MGMT (they got really into Little Dark Age a few years back). Why do they do this? Because the far-right's innately nihilistic, disdainful and anti-intellectual. It almost goes without saying that's not a recipe for creativity.

Anyway, 40k derived media is basically an out-of-control Transformers cartoon so why don't you stinking manchildren go read some real books, like what I don't do!

>>462258
Jesus Christ, stop being such an arsehole before you get me banned for another two weeks.

>>462245
This made me have a flashback to one of those dress up games on Newgrounds having her as a horrible photoshop nude when you took all her clothes off and some yodelling played as the soundtrack. I'm frankly surprised we got any wanking done at all in the past.

>>462256
>Know what I mean? Like, the whole entire point is that the closest thing you have to a "good guy" is a literal fascist, indoctrinated zealot, pumped up on space steroids, in power armour. You know he isn't actually a good guy, he's outright awful, but that's how fucked the 41st millenium is.

I don't think Harlequins are on roids?

>>462261
You should stop for a second and wonder if, when the term 'far-x' comes up whether it is always just a strawman.

>>462256

I'm reminded a bit of the sitcom Till Death Us Do Part. It was completely obvious to most people that Alf Garnett's bigoted views were being mocked rather than celebrated, but a lot of bigots were too thick to realise it.

I'm honestly unsure as to how a writer should react when part of the audience embraces a villain as a hero. On balance I think it's probably for the best that you couldn't make something like that today, but I'm also quite uncomfortable with the idea that what we're allowed to write should be determined by how the lowest-common-denominator idiot might misinterpret it.

I think what really swayed me on the topic was the reaction to Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul. It pains me to say it, but I'm increasingly inclined to believe that mainstream audiences just aren't sophisticated enough to be trusted with nuance; subtext is irrelevant when most of the audience are barely paying enough attention to follow the text. A pervasive culture of self-serving moral relativism means that some people will identify with any protagonist, no matter how awful their actions are.

BBC Archive posted this old clip from Record Breakers. Seeing all the students in stonewash jeans and baggy jumpers and DMs made me tear up a little bit.

https://twitter.com/BBCArchive/status/1742093374323331502

Students used to be twats. They ponced around in their twatty haircuts and their twatty clothes. They talked pretentious nonsense, they did stupid things with traffic cones, they lived in squalor, they hogged the pool table while spunking all their grant money on weak lager.

Maybe I'm old and out of touch, but the students I meet these days aren't twats. They're quiet and sensible and a bit neurotic. They look impossibly young to my old eyes, but they also seem prematurely aged, like they've skipped past youth altogether. It's almost like they're very young-looking thirtysomethings.

They don't talk to me about fomenting revolution or starting a band, they ask me sensible questions about career plans and mortgages and investments. They don't pity the fact that I'm a washed-up former musician with a receding hairline and dreary centrist views, they envy the fact that I've got a modest amount of equity in a two-bed flat and something resembling a pension. In a just world I'd envy their youth, but all I can do is share in their worry for the future.

When people older than me reminisce about the good old days, I know with confidence that those old days were shit. There was nothing good about outdoor toilets and single-glazed windows and casual dolphin rape. I think that my good old days might have actually been the good old days, and it breaks my fucking heart.

>>462262

>harlequins

They're a dying race who believes themselves superior to all forms of life, regarding all other species as little more than livestock, a hubris which will be their downfall. Humanity's xenophobia is a traumatised response to their early encounters with races like the Tyranids, which turned them inward and led to the adoption of hostility as a first response; but the Eldar are much more directly comparable to the traditional Nazi racial superiority type of fascism. And they're not even the "dark" ones.

Nearly every civilisation in 40K can be interpreted as a villainous tyranny, but crucially they can nearly all also have their motivations and the circumstances that led them down that path understood, from a certain angle. They are nearly all responses to desperate, bleak, hopeless circumstances. I think that's the most important aspect of the setting, if we are discussing it on a level this pretentious- It doesn't just deliver a blunt, shallow message about fascism being bad. It doesn't just paint this simple picture of evil people who are irredeemable from the start. Even in its complete over-the-top bombast hence the Verhoeven parallel, it pulls the same trick, it shows us evil as something with complex and multifaceted roots. It warns us that when we are faced with a fight for survival, we quickly abandon morality. We are all capable of evil.

I think this is why I take more issue with the liberal lefty crowd than the 4chan edgelords. The 4chan lot are just plain thick, they're the Alf Garnet bigots '63 mentions, but at the end of the day they are pretty harmless, they are just LARPing their dictator fetish with toy soldiers. You just shake your head and ignore them, and that's the end of it. But when the liberal side misinterpret the setting, they tend to call for it to be dumbed down, they want important elements of the fiction simplified to a trite black and white, and there is more chance of them getting their way. In general, that's the same reason I find all of their cultural critiques (and most of the media they produce with their own messaging baked in) to be asinine.

sage for thinking this hard about toy soldiers, I didn't actually mean to ramble on like this, soz lads

>>462265

Those harmless 4chan edgelords have talked eachother into committing multiple mass murders with explicit political aims and are quite capable of impacting politics through other means. I assume you're familiar with the paradox of tolerance yet you still stand there arguing that fascists need to be humanised and empathised with. Then in the same breath you describe those on the left as caricatures that the right use. You're taking a position Stratfor and other security consultants would label a "realist", someone who thinks they're more pragmatic than the idealists or radicals and that they can change things from the inside - in reality this just leads to them being co-opted by the very thing they claim to want to change. Either cynically used or simply converted by the company they keep. It's telling that you seem to view "liberal lefty types" as a monolith but their opposition as nuanced. That says to me that you're already viewing things through the lens of right wing propaganda. Take that joint of gammon out your eye.

Well in, lads. About 36 hours in to the new year before our first cunt-off.

>>462262
>You should stop for a second and wonder if, when the term 'far-x' comes up whether it is always just a strawman.
No, no it isn't, you dumb-dumb, stupid, very dumb bastard. And it's not just the more junior members of staff for bigger politicians; there's an entire plot called "Project 2025" funded by the Heritage Project that seeks to give a prospective Donald Trump presidency unlimited power, forever. Which is very serious indeed, given the global, imperial reach of the USA's influence. I'm sure you'll dismiss this for one reason or another, but with the AfD second in the polls in Germany, our own country's Conservative Party's ideological future very much up for grabs and those Nazi stickers I kept finding at the bus station, I don't intend to treat these circumstances with the old "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" attitude you have, blithely, adopted.

>>462266

>Those harmless 4chan edgelords have talked eachother into committing multiple mass murders with explicit political aims

And to what extent do you think Warhammer had a hand in that?

>Then in the same breath you describe those on the left as caricatures that the right use. You're taking a position Stratfor and other security consultants would label a "realist", someone who thinks they're more pragmatic than the idealists or radicals and that they can change things from the inside - in reality this just leads to them being co-opted by the very thing they claim to want to change.

... Okay.

>you seem to view "liberal lefty types" as a monolith

I really don't, my entire viewpoint comes from the fact we largely are, or at least should be, on the same side. Except that they are dogmatic, counterproductive, shit stirrers who do more harm than good.

And like them, you're only here to cause bad blood. You have very little interest in good faith discussion of the subject you started the debate about in the first place. I don't really feel like going any further with you.

>>462270
>And to what extent do you think Warhammer had a hand in that?
Very little, as I said and haven't seen anyone else suggesting otherwise. I've only seen someone who's raging about women with blue hair and glasses hypothetically saying something, with no evidence it's a commonly held belief by said caricature. Just a sort of vague "I bet those stupid wokies would hate this! Grr they make me so angry!".

>you started the debate about in the first place.
I didn't, you have no reason to believe I did, that itself is a bad faith argument.

I see two possibilities here, either you're just looking for excuses to move further right and someone to blame that on so you can tell yourself it's not your fault, or you've just been so heavily inundated with right wing propaganda - and this seems obvious given you use their language and imagery so reflexively - that you've internalised the idea that it's inherently shameful and your insecurities are driving you to distance yourself from that. There's a wojack in your head and you're so terrified he might associate you with your own allies that you're desperately trying to distance yourself from them.

>>462271

If you say so lad. You got me, bang to rights. I'm a closeted feels frog meme and you have ripped away the illusions.

>>462272

Based. Gottem.

>>462268
>those Nazi stickers I kept finding at the bus station

Look, we all hate those Extinction Rebellion stickers but I think equating them with the Nazis is a bit far.

>>462274
Maybe in the poncy uni town you live in, richboy, but out here in the muck and the filth it's not really like that.

>>462267
Good! There weren't nearly enough last year. We've been getting soft, giving each other "emotional support" and meekly agreeing about UK politics, it's embarrassing. No more!

It turns out that buying something over a long weekend and trying to return it over the same weekend does some funny things. The original transaction is still pending, and there's no corresponding refund transaction, so at this point I don't know if I've still paid for the item or not.

>>462275

I'm not sure what it says about my neighbourhood that there are no political stickers on lampposts, just adverts for drug dealers.

I, for one, don't even own a lamppost.

>>462278
So where are you supposed to hang your fascist decorations?

I've spent two hours listening to songs from Serious About Men on repeat and now I'm much too jazzed to sleep. Proper adult problems.

>>462279
How do you understand stickers to work?

>>462280
>How do you understand stickers to work?
I imagine that one might stick them to lampposts, though for visibility you might want to stick them on the side opposite to the one you hang the fascists from.

>>462265
>their early encounters with races like the Tyranids, which turned them inward and led to the adoption of hostility as a first response

The Tyranids came much later, I think what you're referring to is the general close-minded hostility to the other that if we want to be generous emerged with Psykers and Orks during the Age of Strife and came to dominate via natural selection. Yeah there's conflict that happened but it's obvious that the Great Crusade also just murdered everyone indiscriminately and that the Emperor himself deliberately set out to wipe the galaxy of non-human sentience to cement humanities (in reality, his) power.

Let's not get confused in our game of crude metal soldiers. Humanities extreme xenophobia is part of the humour.

Obviously the Emperor is some sort of chaos being who has twisted humanity and the Machine God is just a void dragon. I am not a Genestealer.

>but the Eldar are much more directly comparable to the traditional Nazi racial superiority type of fascism

No, the Eldar are just decadent and don't care. I don't think there's any malice just extreme arrogance. The harlequins in particular just implement the will of the laughing God to defeat slaanesh and reset the universe.

The laughing god is Tzeentch and Ynnead is a joke.

>>462275
>Maybe in the poncy uni town you live in, richboy, but out here in the muck and the filth it's not really like that.

Muck and the filth? We could only be so lucky 'round my end, farmer-boy. Enjoy the fertiliser.

Fucking hell lads, save some fanny for the rest of us.

>>462282

>all of that heretical nonsense

Oh, you're one of those people who gets their lore from contemporary releases and Black Library fanfiction.

Where I'm from everything is extremely ambiguous because it's presented as scarce surviving historical sources long after the fact. More or less any information about the dark age of technology is lost to time, and we don't know anything concrete about the Emperor's ultimate plans, the details of what exactly happened during the Heresy, let alone the motivations of the inscrutable powers of chaos. It was all a matter of faith.

Everything they have added on since I was old enough to have sex with girls is wrong and I don't accept it.

>Walkers Launches New Vegan Crisp Flavors

https://plantbasednews.org/lifestyle/food/walkers-vegan-grilled-cheese-toastie/

Aren't crisps vegan anyways?

>>462285

Vegans already have a shit diet, we really shouldn't be encouraging them.

>>462286
Imagine life without crisp sandwiches though. It wouldn't be worth living.

Lads, talk me out of spending over £700 on a watch.

https://www.christopherward.com/sale/c60-trident-pro-300---nearly-new/N60-38ADA31S0KK0-B0.html

>>462288
That was easy. Unless I'm too late and you've bought it already.

>>462289
It turns out that and the others I was looking at have all sold out while I was deliberating. Oh well.

>>462288

Give me the £700 and I'll spend it on cocaine instead. It will be less of a waste that way.

>>462290
Problem solved.

>>462285
Depends on how the flavourings are manufactured. It's long been known that some flavours were not suitable for vegetarians, and that it wasn't necessarily the flavours you'd think.

>>462296
As far as I'm aware, cheese and onion is the only (mainstream) flavour of Walkers crisps which contain milk. The meat flavours were already vegan.

>>462297

>The meat flavours were already vegan.


Blasphemy!

It's like vegan sausages. They boil my piss. Either you eat meat or you fucking don't. You can't pick and choose.

So lads, it seems my blood pressure is high and my cholesterol is double what they would like it to be.

It seems I need to get off my arse and stop eating shite.

>>462299
When you start moving it gets easier to avoid shite.

You ever notice that with some people you just need to sit down with them sometimes when they're worried/worked-up and listen to them as they work it out for themselves?

I know that sounds like an incredibly trite observation with an entire profession built around it but my twist is that it's incredibly important trick for managing educated people who often end up driving themselves a bit mental. You sit with them and listen, coming with the odd chilled out observation, and that's really what they need. Maybe that's why LLMs immediately ended up being used by some as therapy tools - I mostly use them in a similar way for a range of tasks, as soundboards to think my own ideas through.

>>462299
I think what really brought mine down was getting into the habit of eating a big banana for breakfast every morning.

>>462301

>Maybe that's why LLMs immediately ended up being used by some as therapy tools

Astonishingly, we'd already figured that out in 1964:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ELIZA

Waitrose gives you a free coffee with any purchase. I say free because buying their overpriced goods for a while means I've paid for that 'free' coffee endless times over.

Anyway this morning I didn't feel amazing so I just popped out for a banana and redeemed my free coffee.

When I got home, Google likes to ask for scans of my receipts in exchange for credit. I got more back from Google than the banana cost me, and I know I can't spend it like money, but I can redeem it on the app store.

In a way I kind of got a free breakfast.

Well, it's four days into the new year, and I'm already back on the strudel.

>>462303
I don't understand. Why are you selling your data for pennies off apps on the google play store?

>>462305
I generally find most people don't really give much of a shit about such things.

>>462306
But I mean, he's actively doing it. He's actively collecting receipts are screenshotting them for google, letting them know how big and curvy he likes his bananas and so on for a few pennies off shit he wouldn't buy otherwise.

It's just so irrational.

>>462307

Well how much are you going to get for your data elsewhere?

Don't get me started though. Most people aren't aware even how much artists in the music industry get shafted, with fractions a penny per play on services like Spotify, while the labels and suits take the majority of the cut for doing effectively fuck all. The situation we all have with our personal data is the same thing, on an even more massive scale.

Some company somewhere is getting millions off selling our data, and we get a few digital good boy points (as long as we spend it towards Brand™️).

I've just had a wee and it's very luminous. It's like one of those Lemsip drinks with added fluorescence.

>>462307
Well I have Google One membership which gives me a VPN, huge amounts of backup space and it covers that membership, plus anything that can be bought via the app store.

I've paid for years of meditation apps, app upgrades, all sorts by just answering questions or giving them a picture of my receipt.

I understand the concerns but I quite frankly don't care that Google know I bought a banana in Waitrose when they know I went there anyway because I had my phone in my pocket and they prompted the survey.

What's irrational about that? It's a fairly rational exchange given I've not developed a better paid, or easier, medium to exchange my shopping habit data.

I'm usually very 'protect my personal data' but Google knowing what I bought for lunch is just something I just do not give one iota about. I've made hundreds of pounds doing this.

>>462309

I had a wee that smelt like popcorn earlier on.

I know we've had discussions about this before, but I was training someone today and watching young people trying to navigate a computer is painful. Weren't people in their 20s now taught how to use things like Excel at school?

>>462312

I honestly never would have thought my generation would be part of only a window of people that knew their way around a desktop computer and everything that comes along with actually working on one. It just seemed like it would be a fixture, as much as reading or maths.

>>462313
I had to restrain myself because it was eating me up inside. All she really had to do was a few basic calculations, but instead of selecting the cells she'd need she was keying the value of each cell in manually (e.g. instead of A1 + B1 + C1 she'd type 10,900.56 + 783.21 + 315.44) but she kept fucking this up when it came to percentages and putting things like 3% instead of 0.03%. When I explained to her how she could select the cell instead she then started manually typing the name of each cell rather than clicking on them.

>>462314

I haven't used Excel since I was forced to do an IT module as part of a college course about 7 years ago, and if it wasn't for that it would be going way back to year 8 or 9 since I had touched it at all. I'm a nerd who builds my own PCs and with a bit of tinkering and Googling can solve just about any issue I ever have with one, but any Excel knowledge I once had has long since dribbled out of my ears and I very much doubt I could even remember how to do the most basic of formulas or that thing where you link them to certain cells or any of it.

The LIMS system I use at work is still some archaic early 90s green text on black background hyperterminal interface bullshit where you type in codes and arrow through the fields, but we can train the most broccoli haired of zoomers to use it in no time at all. The problem isn't that they are shit with computers (although in general I agree, it's shocking how much of a flash in the pan it was for our generation to learn computers like we did), it's that you're expecting people to know how to use specific software.

>>462315
She's been at the company longer than I have, it isn't the first time she's ever had to use Excel. That was only one example anyway, it was more the painfully slow way she navigated around the computer and keyboard in general which was bothering me.

>>462316

Fair enough. She might just be a bit thick, then.

A friend's wife is getting ready to file for divorce. Apparently the holidays have made her realise that she's "no longer emotionally invested" in their relationship. But my friend says he's pretty sure she's fucking a particular coworker.

Too bad for him. If all this goes through then they'll probably have to sell the house they bought just a few years ago. Thankfully no kids are involved. I remember her saying that she wanted to enjoy a few more years of independence before having kids, but I know alarm bells when I hear them.

>>462314

I don't think I'll ever get used to waking up in the pitch dark.

Watched the New Year Taskmaster special. It was pretty dull and not a patch on last year, which had the benefit of three shaggable women.

>>462321

I watched the Big Fat Quiz of 2023 the other night and I was equally underwhelmed.

>>462322

I thought you lot all want to give the spazzy lass one?

>>462321 >>462322
Watching television shows as they come out is like preordering computer games.

I just watched the Taskmaster special from last year on your recommendation and there were indeed at least two ladies wot were nice to look at. There was also Carol Vorderman.

>>462324
Whom did you prefer, chicken shop woman or the slightly plump one with the right prime arse?

>>462323

I know it's a very old man thing to say, but I genuinely do wonder what a lesbian with cerebral palsy does in the sack. Mind you, Rosie Jones does strike me as a bit of a pillow princess.

You know, I can't remember there being a big backlash when Hayley joined Coronation Street but I reckon if that was happening these days instead there'd be an almighty uproar about WOKE NONSENSE on one side and people making a massive celebration about it on the other side.

>>462327
Most people just laughed about it back then and made the same 3 jokes they make nowadays.

>>462327

Nobody really knew what a trans was in those days. Today I think there'd be a small uproar from the usual suspects, but a bigger uproar that a trans character was being played by a cis performer. I think all of the soaps have now had at least one trans character by now.

In a very quiet and unassuming way, Roy Cropper is deeply heroic.

>>462327

The fact that it wasn't so culturally divisive and charged back then is really the only reason they could do it, I think. People were more receptive to the subject because they weren't already weary of the propaganda war they see every time they unlock their phone. And similarly I remember it having a storyline about one of the lads coming to terms with being a bumder and nobody made a great fuss, but it was really quite progressive for how early on it was when I think about it.

I think partially it's to do with Corrie being "the northern soap" and it's couched in that Northern common sense, down to earth, "ah dunt care if yer a poof as long as yer nor a knobhead abart it" sort of mindset, which I think the British public at large is generally on board with. But part of the problem is that kind of live and let live attitude just isn't enough for today's progressive crowd. If you're not out in the streets flying a trans pride flag you're a nazi who wants them all killed, and so they end up antagonising people who wouldn't otherwise have had a problem with them.

We live in a hell world dystopia now though, so any modern take on the subject would be about how if you don't support Israel you are condoning LGBT genocide. It's all so tiresome.

>>462330

I think you're overestimating how many people are actually bothered one way or another. The vast majority of people are very much of the "live and let live" persuasion. There's a very small minority who have a strong opinion either way, but they grab all the attention because they're noisy and angry and spend all their waking hours on Twitter.

Emmerdale currently has a trans lad in the cast, but nobody gives a shit. Until last year, Hollyoaks had a trans woman, but nobody gave a shit. I mean, that's mainly because nobody actually watches Hollyoaks, but you get my point. That trans bloke who was in Holby City? Non-issue. The they/them who was in Casualty? Nobody cared. The trans lad who was in Eastenders for a year until they realised that he couldn't act for toffees? Forgettable and forgotten. I only pay any attention because I'm a pervert. That lass off of Boy Meets Girl was well fit.

I think that the vast majority of people react to trans people on TV in basically the same way as my mum, who might ask "Do you reckon she's one of them pronouns?" with exactly the same level of indifference as if she'd said "Wasn't she in that thing the other week with that bloke off of Doctor Who?". Mild curiosity, but not enough curiosity to bother Googling it. Doesn't know all the new terminology, but would give it her best effort because she wouldn't want to cause offence. Noticed that one of the lads on the checkouts in Asda has started wearing makeup, thinks he'd actually make quite a pretty girl, might make a well-intentioned but mildly politically incorrect supportive comment if his/her lane has the shortest queue next week but probably won't bother.

>>462331

Well, yeah, that's kind of my point. Most people are more accepting of all this stuff than you'd think if you pay attention to the people who care the most about it. And the people who make the most noise about it are either the vocal critics, or the people who have made advocacy their entire purpose in life.

I get most of my news and information about the world from broadly lefty sources, but the media being what it is also means they are filtered through a hand-wringing upper middle class lens, and it's always been an annoyance of mine how they have their own prejudice about more ordinary folk. Discussions seem to take place from the default assumption, and the background context of the debate always seems to be, that the average person, particularly the lower classes, are just generally bigoted and reactionary.

In turn, I guess that colours how I feel compelled to respond to the subject myself when it comes up. I feel like that context is something that in itself colours the debate (such that there is one).

In Hell's Bells, the opening track of AC/DC's 1980 comeback album Back in Black, released amid uncertainty over the band's future following the untimely death of frontman Bon Scott, Brian Johnson sang the following line:

>See the white light flashing as I split the night
>'Cause if good's on the left, then I'm sticking to the right

Is this an allusion to fascism? Does the "white light" splitting the night refer to white power? Is it a veiled metaphor to the lightning symbol which was, as we know, popularly used by well known Hitler fanclub the SS? Is "sticking to the right" an endorsement of far right politics?

Am I still allowed to listen to AC/DC?

>>462372
If you interpret everything through the lens where you're consciously searching for fascism in everything then you're going to find fascism.

>>462372
I really hope this satire.

is £75 a month on food reasonable? I've come to this figure by averaging the cost of my most recent supermarket recipts then multiplying that over the frequency of my shopping trips. I could reduce this to ~£50 per month by stretching each basket of food only a single day more, which is entirely possible seeing as I tend to binge every so often, most recently eating an entire large pizza when I could have saved it for tomorrow.

The shop mostly consists of fresh fruit, fresh and frozen veg, bread, butter and whatever I can find in the reduced sections. I haven't counted for milk and various treats as they're bought from a different shop, thus I don't have the figures.

>>462376
It's all relative, innit.

>>462376
I budget £220 for household (food, shitpaper, shower stuff etc.) so you're doing very well by my estimate. Although I feel that food is one of those areas where you should be comfortable to live a little with and pay extra to get proper food your body needs.

>>462376

According to government data, the national average expenditure on household food is £28.23 per person per week, which works out to £122.33 per calendar month. That's probably a slight under-estimate, because it's based on self-reporting through a weekly diary and people tend to forget about "top-up" purchases from convenience stores - the midweek bread and milk, or the ready meal on their way home when they can't be bothered cooking. Obviously averages are just that and there's a great deal of individual variation based on household income and personal preference.

You could economise a bit more and still eat a healthy diet if you're sensible, but likewise it'd be perfectly reasonable for you to spend more.

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/family-food-fye-2022/family-food-fye-2022

Always a weird feeling when they numb your cheek at the dentist's and then a few hours later sensation gradually comes back.

I had a filling redone on a wisdom tooth in my lower jaw this afternoon at 2 pm, and my whole left side was numb until about ten minutes ago, and now it's more and more coming back by the minute. Bit of pain in my wisdom tooth as well, but at least it's taken care of now.

>>462379
It tends to be a tradeoff bewtween engery required to keep food and prepapre food, v.s. up front purchase cost.

A wedding couple have said that no gifts are necessary but if you really want they would take any money to put towards the honeymoon. So how does that work, do I stuff an envelope? Is it something for family to think about? Do I give it to them well beforehand so they can fuck off after the wedding?

Weddings seems like hard work but I bet it would be easy to organise if you just called it something vaguely Star Wars like a 'life ceremony' and made it up as you went along. If you do that then it's pretty much catering and a venue space. Plus a band playing jizz music of course.

I am absolutely fucked.

>>462383
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2019/11/what-is-vaguebooking-and-why-is-it-bad-for-mental-health

>>462384
Okay. I am absolutely fucked if I don't get £200 by Friday.

>>462385

I know you probably just wanted to vent, but if you give some more details about your financial situation, there's a good chance that we'll be able to help you sort it out.

What's the £200 for? Are you working? On benefits? Do you have any other debts? Are you struggling to pay your bills? Do you have any health conditions or a disability? What local authority area do you live in?

>>462387
I have no money coming in. I had tried to sell some things online, but ten quid from one vinyl record was all I got out of that endevour. If I don't find this money I'm probably going to be back living with the more alcoholic wing of my genetically worthless family and it's all my fault. My only disability is being thick as shit, I live in a field in the North West of England.

>>462388

It sounds like you're in a shit situation and I'm honestly quite worried for you.

Is there a reason why you aren't claiming benefits? You could start a Universal Credit claim and get an advance on your first payment within a few days. I don't want to assume anything, but it seems like you might be struggling with your mental health; if you are, you may be able to claim without having to actively look for work.

https://www.gov.uk/universal-credit/how-to-claim

When you say "I live in a field", does that mean you're homeless? If so, have you made a homelessness application to the local council? They probably won't be obliged to find you immediate emergency accommodation, but they do have a legal duty to help you find somewhere to live.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/homelessness/get_help_from_the_council/how_to_ask_the_council_for_help

If you're not sure where to start, I'd suggest getting in touch with Citizens Advice. They can't wave a magic wand, but they are experts on welfare and housing rights and they'll make sure that you get everything you're entitled to.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/contact-us/contact-us/contact-us/

I hope you can keep us updated on how you're getting on, but what really matters is that you ask for the help that you need. I've been there myself and I know how difficult it can be, but I promise you that your situation isn't hopeless, even if it feels that way.

Currently in Sheffield. Apparently red traffic lights here mean another 3 or 4 cars and still go through.

It's pretty cold out.

Have you lads ever noticed that cleaners are generally very short? I don't think I'm pointing out the merits of eugenics, but it does kind of feel like genetically inferior specimens are predestined to end up in jobs which are the bottom rung of society.

>>462391

Pretty cold in too. I'm usually nice and toasty only running the heating pretty low, but when it drops down to near zero like this I do start to feel the nip, and I refuse to turn it up at today's energy prices.

On the other hand my kitchen is cold enough I can probably turn the fridge off to save even more energy, because my milk would stay just as cold left out on the counter.

Just been into Burger King. Witnessed an extremely rotund woman order three meals for herself, three chicken royale meals with a box of Doritos chicken fries each, before demolishing them all. What a sight to behold.

It's the first time I've had one in ages and it's ridiculous how much better they are than McDonald's, but even with the app it's reaching silly money for a meal.

>>462393
I invested in some cheap blankets before Christmas and I think they've already paid for themselves. I could get used to draping a blanket over my legs and having a wee kip on the sofa.

>>462392

My cleaner is taller than me and has a distractingly lovely arse, but she is one of those foreigners.

>>462397
How much does she cost in the end, not for that but for cleaning duties? I've been tempted to get one but it's hard to work out how much they cost without one coming 'round to suck their teeth at how you live.

>>462398

She does whatever needs doing once a fortnight for thirty quid. I've got a robot hoover, I'm fairly tidy and I don't have pets or kids, so it usually doesn't take her too long. I like not having to do grubby jobs like cleaning the oven, but also the risk of embarrassment stops me from going fully feral.

Unfortunately I do think this is one of those things they need to quote you for, because they've got no way of knowing how clean your house is without actually having a neb around.

>>462394
A cheeky BK at the services was the highlight of many long drives.

>>462397
I imagine tall cleaners don't last long because they'll be more likely to get things like back ache.

>>462401

This why the tall, as a species, are congenitally unclean. They can neither see nor bend to clean the muck they spread around them. Lankies will shit down their own leg and not notice until it's pointed out, then blame the government for not wiping it up for them claiming it's too far for them to reach on their own.

>>462402
I have noticed that my ears have started getting hairier.

>>462403

Hairy ears are a trait evolved by the tall to keep tree branches from getting lodged in their ear canals.

I find the idea of people having cleaners just frankly a bit pathetic. Like, when it's wealthy opulent people who have servants to do everything from cooking and cleaning to rearing the kids, it's more understandable. It still disgusts me but I mean, when you're filthy rich you might as well and at least it's creating jobs, I suppose.

But when you're just a lad who can't be arsed to clean up your own pot noodles and wash your own undies I think that's just a bit embarrassing. Being able to look after yourself like that is a pretty vital life skill, we shouldn't outsource every aspect of our lives. You're the kind of lad who gets sucked in by an overbearing motherly woman who slowly takes over control of your life and then posts on /emo/ about if you should leave her because you haven't had sex for ten years.

>>462405
Have you considered not being poor?

>>462405

>Being able to look after yourself like that is a pretty vital life skill, we shouldn't outsource every aspect of our lives.

I'm perfectly capable of cleaning my own oven, I've just got better things to do with my time. My cleaner is lovely, but with the best will in the world, scrubbing the limescale off my taps is genuinely the most intellectually demanding work that she's capable of. Lazy bastards like myself mean that she gets to live a pretty nice life by global standards. Yes, she has to scour my hob for a living, but she still gets to live in a warm house and go on foreign holidays and eat well enough to cultivate a first rate arse.

If you were to say that an economic system in which some people clean other people's houses is inherently unfair, I don't think I'd have a good argument. It is purely through accident of birth that I get to lark about with robots all day instead of scrubbing toilets. In the economic system that we do live in, my cleaner and I are both better off if I keep employing her - if we weren't, either she'd quit or I'd sack her.

>>462407
I do wonder how much those cleaners make actually. You might think yourself the clever one but she's making £30 for hour's work at your gaff and then probably doing a load of other places for whatever many hours she feels like. I mean it seems like exhausting work to us but it probably keeps her active and she's an expert at it.

Then when she gets home she probably has a few robots of her own to play with.

>>462406

It has nothing to do with being poor. Thanks to the wonders of mass immigration, anyone but the lowliest dolescum can afford a cleaner.

For a change, my argument here isn't based on the injustices of capitalism. Cleaning is noble work. I just look down on men who are domestically inept or lazy.

>>462408

I assume cleaners never get an email at 10pm with the subject line "Re: Re: Re: Re: URGENT", which must be nice.

"Having a cleaner" is pathetic, paying a cleaner to help out is a bit different. The latter implies empathy, the former implies they are tools to be used. There's a point where it flips over, but if you think the "poorest" can afford one... you think someone who earns jack shit can pay someone else earning the same jack shit?

> I assume cleaners never get an email at 10pm with the subject line

No, they get a call that says "go here, clean" and failing that lose their job. Get out of your own arse.

>>462411

>if you think the "poorest" can afford one

Nobody said that did they lad.

>>462411

>"Having a cleaner" is pathetic, paying a cleaner to help out is a bit different. The latter implies empathy, the former implies they are tools to be used.

Mate, there's an opinion column waiting for you at The Guardian.

I've got an accountant too - should I refer to him as "a person who I pay to help out with my tax returns"? I suppose referring to my doctor implies some sort of feudal ownership and I should instead refer to him as "a person who the NHS pays to stop me from dying"? Have I just done a hate crime by referring to them both as him, when I've never actually checked what pronouns they prefer?

>>462412
> thanks to the wonders of mass immigration, anyone but the lowliest dolescum can afford a cleaner.

>>462413
I don't think the guardian would take me. I whinge enough on /A/, but I stand by what I said in sentiment.

>>462411
>The latter implies empathy, the former implies they are tools to be used

You can't be too chummy with the help. You're not their pal, you're their client and there's a lot of implicit trust if you want to change that status but you'll never be one of the lads. The man at the pizza shop calls you 'bossman' because you give him money, it doesn't mean you should picture your life together. Believe me.

>No, they get a call that says "go here, clean" and failing that lose their job.

That's not how it works. Professional cleaners are in absurd demand, they have set schedules and you can't even feel their bum anymore. For the commercial sector they have specific hours for obvious reasons and regimented patterns.

No, we abuse workers in the proper way in this country. By setting them pointless tasks and paying them so little statutory sick pay that they die on the job.
https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2020/jun/26/emanuel-gomes-died-just-hours-after-his-cleaning-shift-why-was-he-working

>>462416
If you're calling them "the help" then there is the problem.

> Professional cleaners are in absurd demand

I don't doubt that, my view is skewed by living in that there place, but "professional" does a lot of heavy lifting here. The typical agencies here charge so little it's nigh impossible that the people doing the work actually get paid a living wage. The last couple of times it was akin to a brothel, the Mama taking the money and directing the distinctly younger women to do the work. I can't tell if you have rose tinted goggles or I do, but it's absolutely no paradise for cleaners here.

My sister works as a cleaner beside being a single mother. I'm recluse dolescum. You all sound like cunts.

>>462418
Cool, anything constructive to add?

I just rang a builder because my roof terrace will need some work this spring. He got into semantics with me that what I have isn't a roof terrace but a roof balcony, and he tried to convince me that it'll be a far bigger job than just replacing a few tiles, and that the whole balcony floor underneath probably needs to be redone. He was a bit too giddy on the phone. He said he could come by to take a look this afternoon, but I told him I'd get back to him.

I hate when people like that make you look dumb and become pushy, and try to talk you into wildly expensive repairs. I have no doubt that some customers fall for it, but I know I won't hire him to do the job.

How bad an idea is it to make an account on a porn site that runs algorithms to curate a suggestions list based on viewing habits?

>>462419
No.

>>462421
I had a pornhub account back when they did that free month during lockdown. I can't say I got much use out of the recommended function, in fact it's a annoying because when you go on porn it's a case that:

1. You're doing it as a spur of the moment exercise with a thought popping into your head or seeing someone bend down to reach something. The algorithm can't predict that, it's effectively random.
2. What you really want to GOOD porn. The sad reality is there isn't enough of it in any given genre to pigeonhole so you'll take what you can get, if you want a picture of the future, imagine living off of random porn bush leavings – forever.

And I'll add that the Rick and Morty porn game everyone was going on about is boring. Yes it engages in a range of scenarios but that's it.

Who needs porn sites? I just saw tit in The Guardian.

I got bored of porn a long time ago, nowadays I just construct elaborate and highly implausible fantasies about lasses I know in my head and wank to that.

The all-metal ceiling lamp in that one room here at my house never had a protective earth lead connected to it. So I installed one today. The lamp was like that for 40 years. Absolute time bomb.

>>462427
Was the light insulated from the housing?

>>462428

Yes, but the wiring inside looked dodgy. The insulation around the wires was brittle and coming apart in places. So I put in all new wires from the screw connectors to the three light bulb sockets. And added protective earth. Probably not worth the bother for a 40 year old lamp, but it has sentimental value.

I really love eating breakfast foods (eggs, bacon, toast, etc) for my dinner on an evening. It's definitely the tastiest meal, I've always got the ingredients in, and it's some of the easiest stuff to cook.

Who decided bacon and eggs are a morning thing, but chicken and pasta are later on things?

>>462430
Never heard of all day breakfast?

I get up at 7AM, to get to work for 8AM. I finish work at 5PM, and I get home by 6PM. I have to cook/eat dinner, which could take up until 7PM. I then have four hours for chores/leisure time, before I have to be in bed by 11PM (I need at least 8 hours sleep to operate normally). I know this is normal wagie life, but I spent so long as a student/NEET/part time worker that it's really hard to adjust to.

My girlfriend wants us to start going on day trips on a weekend. We don't really spend time together during the week because I'm so burned out from my job I have no energy to deal with her on an evening because I've spent all day dealing with people. But if we go on a day trip every Saturday or something, that's around half my weekend taken away from me so we can wander round a nature reserve or something. I'm really struggling to find a work-life balance.

>>462432

Welcome to working life m8. You'll get used to it.

>>462432
You're not going to like hearing this but an evening class or hobby during the week definately helps break you out of the funk. Even going to the gym will at least slow down your perception of time for an hour or two.

Life is shit like that, you can't even sit on your arse properly without having to work to enjoy it. We'll all be pensioners growing tomatoes one day.

>>462432

I think spending one day on a weekend with your missus and then keeping the other day reserved for yourself is a pretty fair compromise to be honest lad, and it's quite healthy for your relationship to keep some structured time together instead of falling into that rut where all you do is exist in the same room staring at a screen together.

Set yourself a little deal where you agree to give her the couple time on a Saturday, as long as she agrees to give you undisturbed gaming/Warhammering/furry ERPing time on the Sunday, for example. It is hard to find a balance when you work full time, but it sounds like she's being quite reasonable, she's not asking you to completely surrender your individuality like some women seem to expect of a man.

For evenings I find it's really important to try spend a bit of time on a hobby every night, even if it's just half an hours or an hour, to stop time just slipping through your fingers. I'll usually have A Nice Sit Down And A Brew for the first hour, then make dinner, then have a shower or whatever depending, then go off to my man cave to play guitar or paint some minis for an hour. After that it's usually about 9-10, and I'll go play videogames or shitpost on here for the last couple of hours until bed.

>>462431

What the fuck is a pork and egg nugget?

>>462436
Imagine a scotch egg without the breadcrumbs.

>>462437

do you still deep fry it like a nugget? That could be rather nice.

>>462438

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aueah-mOjDI

Had a chat with someone working at the British Museum. Apparently visitors can't resist coming up to staff and asking where all the British exhibits are while cackling to themselves about it.

>>462441
When I worked at Tesco as a student, about 15 years ago, it was the rule that if something had been smashed you had to stand over it until the cleaners arrived. Every single time you'd get the same smartarse comments about playing catch and dropping it from the public, who thought they were being original. At least I wasn't down the booze aisles because if a bottle of red wine spilled then, without fail, a group of fat women would materialise to sing UB40. It happened far more often than you'd think.

I'm glad I don't have a public facing job these days.

>>462442

>if a bottle of red wine spilled then, without fail, a group of fat women would materialise to sing UB40

Well, I know what I'm doing this weekend.

>>462444

You're going to Tesco's to knock over wine bottles?

Can I come?

>>462445
>Tesco's
>'s
I think it would be better for all of us if you stayed home.

>>462443
I think he's caught on to me.

>>462446
He's right though.

Steve Pemberton, the annoying one in Ted Lasso and three people I've never heard of. Not sure about this.

>>462486
Be fair! That John Robins bloke goes golfing with Alex Horne. How fucking famous do you want them to be?

>>462487
>How fucking famous do you want them to be?

That's slightly less noteworthy than his main claim to fame, getting dumped by Sara Pascoe.

It feels like ten years ago or whatever superinjunctions were in the news all the time, Giggsy, Elton John, Hugh Bonneville, etc, but you never hear about them anywhere. Do they no longer happen or can they just not be reported on because of Leveson or whatever?

>>462389
Hey, it's a few days later than it should be, but I wanted to say thank you for this post. Some of the info in it has really bought be a lifeline and I really can't thank you enough through the medium of anonymous imageboard text posts.

I'm developing a Snickers addiction.

The past few nights I've woken up in the early hours feeling like someone is at the foot of my bed watching me. The weather has changed to a cold snap recently which might be what is doing it, I remember waking up last night cold. Similar thing happens when I'm sleeping too hot only then I get nightmares.

A couple months ago I awoke in the night to what felt like someone peering at me from my bedroom door. This made me very angry and I bolted out of bed to mash up whoever was intruder only to find my door closed when I arrived at it. Fortunately I was alone I guess to hide any embarrassment at barking at shadows.

𓂸

Can we kill Ed Balls now? Surely this is the final straw.

>>462497
What’s he done now? Is he even still a politician?

>>462498
>Ed Balls kicks Susanna Reid in the head on Good Morning Britain

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2024/jan/17/ed-balls-kicks-susanna-reid-in-the-head-on-good-morning-britain

It's nowhere near as dramatic as it sounds.

It looks like my underfloor heating needs to be flushed. The gas boiler is working fine and the water it pumps into circulation when it fires up has a steady 35 to 40 °C, which is within spec as a low-temperature heating system. But heat distribution is very uneven, especially the areas that are the farthest away from the heating manifold get the least heat. I've looked through HVAC service bills of the last 20 years that I got from my parents and there is no record of the system being flushed in that time at all.

I've asked around, and some HVAC places have told me that I'm looking at anywhere between £500 an £1,000 for a four-bedroom house like mine. I guess what's time consuming is that every individual circuit needs to be flushed with all the other manifold valves closed. They said it can take almost a whole day depending on how bad the blockage is. But going by what you see on youtube, it kind of looks like it's actually a pretty straightforward job for somebody who's good at repairs. So I'll probably end up doing it myself.

>>462497

I'd support Ed Balls as Labour leader, frankly. He's been on Strictly, he's got skills at footy, kicked Susanna Reid in the head, and he holds a cracking coffee morning (Morley and Outwood mfs know).

>>462501

And he can take a joke.

I've been thinking about crumpets. You get the thinking man's crumpet, like Suzannah Lipscomb. Do you also get the average man's crumpet and the thicko's crumpet as well?

>>462503

>and the thicko's crumpet

I posit Amy Childs.

>>462504
Doesn't she look different nowadays?

>>462505

Not to her advantage.

Sky News was just talking about the news of King Charles going to hospital for his enlarged prostate. The ubiquitous Kevin Maguire said, "The palace will have been hoping it didn't leak out." Ewwwww.

>>462507

>"The palace will have been hoping it didn't leak out."

An enlarged prostate usually has the opposite effect.

Big realisation for me just now. Okay, a lot of American voices are unpleasant to listen to, and unfortunately I think women's voices from there are often quite bad. Except no! That's not it at all, because once you remove the vocal fry these beautiful dames are like ambrosia for my ears.

My eighbour is mowing the lawn, in fucking winter. Won't that kill the grass? They mow it extremely close, exposing the earth in some places.

>>462510

The grass will be fine, but it's pointless in mid-winter because it stops growing from about October in our climate due to lower temperatures.

Came into my head today. What ever happened to that old thread for shitposting old internet things, was that a dream?

Bit frosty out.

>>462515
I'm a little sad this weather's going away. I get to wear sunglasses and I don't think I even broke a sweat while climbing a great big hill today, so it's personally ideal even if the crop failures from a complete year of this wouldn't suit anyone longterm.

>>462515
It's been titsoff this week.

>>462515
Don't worry, everybody. I bought some longjohns from a market stall for £3 today. It will never be cold ever again. I can confidently promise that I have jinxed it for eternity. Climate change can now 100% be blamed on me.

>>462515

Very windy here. The wind is blowing the plastic chairs back and forth on the roof balcony upstairs. They're those stackable lightweight chairs that you see everywhere in summer. Last year, one of them got blown off the balcony and into the flower bed below by a strong gust.

Birdhouse has blown over.

The jar of pasta sauce I bought at Lidl this weekend didn't click when I opened it just now. Best not to use that sauce. Who knows, maybe somebody spit in it or put some anthrax in it. Can't be too careful.

>>462534
>jar of pasta sauce I bought
Disgusting.

>>462535

I've just made a garlic, onion and rosemary sauce from triple concentrated tomato puree for my linguine in lieu of the sauce from the jar. Even put in a dash of dried chili pepper.

Are you happy now, snoblad.

Last time I made bolognese I cooked the mince, threw in two or three tins of chopped tomatoes, garlic salt and cheese. It was delicious.

I've had cheese and pickle sandwiches twice in the past week. Before that, must have been years since I last had pickle.

Why does that MrBeast cunt have such a stupid fucking face? I have to keep seeing him in the news and on my YouTube app and I can't stand his face.

>>462537

Try a little red cooking wine and if you like veg, then bell peppers, onion and carrot. Then you basically have the full traditional Bolognese sauce going.

>>462541
Yeah but this is minimal effort and tastes nice.

>>462543

Fair enough. To be honest, just splashing in cooking wine at the end is minimal effort and adds a lot of flavour for me.

>>462548
Have you considered shoplifting? It's a victimless crime.

>>462556
I can give you my crypto holdings if you're desperate (value maybe $40 before transfer fees) but it'll be a while before I'm home and can access that.

>>462549
I would like to thank you, and one other post, for replying to whatever was in this thread before it all got deleted. I saw it briefly, clicked “Last 50 posts” to see what the hell was going on, and it had all disappeared. For a second, I thought I was going mad and the website was haunted. I hope everything is okay with whoever and whatever it is.

>>462558
Otherlad was trying to get us to buy his trainers or vinyl off Ebay because he "needs £20 ASAP or he's homeless".

>>462559
Thank you. I can understand his predicament. You can’t post here on 4G unless you do some special deal with the phone company, so I always try to avoid straying too far from a WiFi connection. If I became homeless but kept my technology, I’d just sit and read Wikipedia on the pavement all day.

>>462540

Some people look like they should be furries (I like to imagine it would be like that early 00s Sci Fi channel show where dinosaurs lived among humans so there would be a mix of both) and I think if he was, he'd be a squirrel or a chipmunk.

>>462560
If you were a tramp how would you keep your electronics charged?

>>462562

There are loads of day centres where you can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal, you can do whatever you feel (until the police throw you out) and you can charge your phone.

>>462562
I'd sit outside a power bank.
I'd teach my phone a trade, then it could charge.
I'd enable saver mode.

I've been at this for hours and those are the best ones I can come up with. You really shouldn't go asking questions that sound like jokes but aren't. It's cruel.

I only wear my white undies on days I've had a shower. I scratched my bum through my pants at work today and I've just seen I've got skiddies now. FFS will it wash off or will I have to throw them away? It's quite yellow/orange in hue.

>>462565
Of course it’ll wash out. If you’re planning on just running them under the tap at work, that probably won’t get them clean, but any washing machine on any cycle will have no issues whatsoever.

Are supermarket flowers a shit present? I want to get my girlfriend a little well done/congratulations present so I was thinking flowers and chocolates, but I probably won't get the chance to go anywhere other than a supermarket. I mean, they're all from the sale wholesale florists aren't they?

>>462568
I've never had any complaints over flowers as a surprise present. You can usually get them for free from the graveyard. Chocolates are more hit and miss so I'd save your money but you usually get to have some as a bonus.

Can you not just do something a bit extra on Valentines in 3 weeks?

>>462568

Just remember to take the stickers off.

>>462569
If I can find some After Eights I'll have her fanny wetter than an otter's pocket. I don't know if you only get After Eights at Christmas; I wish they did frosted Wine Gums all year round because they are the shit.

>>462570
Good idea.