>>466478
Well that's karma for you.

Why does Jodie Marsh hate gamers?

>>466480

>Must Haves

>Hard worker - No laziness


u wot.

Pompous bint.

>>466477

>That said, karma is probably one of those things where we try to see order in a chaotic universe. Not that the universe as such is chaotic, it's often the opposite. But humans like to think in categories of cause and effect, and in turn that also means that we struggle to make sense of events that seem to have no real discernible cause.

The funny thing is that in a way, yews, "karma" even in the most wanky philosopher buddhist sense kind of is true purely in terms of things averaging out. There's no reason a coin flipped a hundred times will land tails half the time and heads the other, but over a long term, it does balance out.

Not to be a cunt but I think you missed a large part of the gist of that post. It doesn't have to be an actual force of the universe, and actual measurable phenomenon, but it's the name we give to all the patterns and coincidences nevertheless.

>>466480

There's nothing wrong with playing computer games, but it shouldn't be your personality. Anyone who calls themselves a "gamer" - especially in an online dating profile - is probably a basement-dwelling lump of a manchild.

>>466482

Come on mate, she isn't asking for the moon on a stick, she just wants a functioning adult man.

>>466485
Can you honestly, cross your heart and hope to die, say that you tick every single one of her boxes? Haha you thought this would be a joke about Jodie Marsh's box but instead I am just wasting your time. Some of her demands are effectively mutually exclusive: I have a job, which means I can't go out and be spontaneous on a Wednesday afternoon. Considering that she is a washed-up former professional bucket-minged slag, I do believe she is asking for more than she's offering there.

>>466485

>she just wants a functioning adult man

Then until she learns to type out full sentences and cut out the emoji nonsense she'll bloody well get what she's gi'n wain't she.

>>466486

I think she's an intelligent woman and I give her the benefit of the doubt, so yes, I do think I tick all of her boxes. I think by "spontaneous" she probably means "I've heard about this great new restaurant, shall we go there tonight?" rather than "let's drop everything and move to Mexico". She isn't even asking for a man with a good job and a nice house.

Online dating is a market for lemons - the decent people get coupled off quite quickly, but the weirdos and losers are on there constantly. If a woman told me "half the matches I get on Tinder are blokes who live with their mum and work part-time in CEX" I'd totally believe her, because I know how many matches I get from slobby single mums who want a sugar daddy.

Fuck it, I might DM her.

>>466486
It's been about 20 minutes since I wrote this, and while I stand by the content of what I wrote, I think I might nevertheless have been too harsh. So many women say, "Don't be this sort of man", but nobody ever says, "Be this sort of man instead." We've got a whole thread right now that has devolved into pontification about directionless men, and everyone agrees that society is full of such people. I think I'm one myself. Here, we have a woman, and not just any woman but an expert in being a slag, giving constructive, proactive advice on how to be a better man. It's what I've always been asking for, and I kicked off just because I don't have a car. She might be a desiccated trough of AIDS, but she's giving some excellent advice to a lot of people who really need it, so perhaps I should be more forgiving.

>>466486

>Some of her demands are effectively mutually exclusive: I have a job, which means I can't go out and be spontaneous on a Wednesday afternoon. Considering that she is a washed-up former professional bucket-minged slag, I do believe she is asking for more than she's offering there.

Part of me thinks she's just throwing stuff out there to see what sticks, but it's a recent trend among many women online to have an absolutely insurmountable list of demands where they see every single one of them equally as a dealbreaker.

The problem with that is often that those men who do tick all those boxes will likely have enough options with other, less demanding women that they don't have to settle for somebody who makes such a blunt endless list of "must-haves". Which then leaves the latter nowhere and pricing themselves out of the market, unless they agree to compromise, and maybe even drastically. Which probably isn't the kind of change of heart you'll get from somebody who tells you 20 things up front that you need to be and do before you'll even get in the running.

>>466485
>Anyone who calls themselves a "gamer" is probably a basement-dwelling lump of a manchild.
I don't actually call myself a gamer but 'gaming' takes up a significant amount of time in my day to day life. It's becoming increasingly harder to justify the activity - I can barely maintain a disbelief that videogames (or any, infact) are anything but closed systems. Mastering them is not an achievement, possibly even in competetive e-sports.
And it's a hard won realisation considering I've practiced no other hobbies or skills throughout my life.

>>466480
picrel

>>466489
I’m not that lad but if I wanted advice on how to be a better man, why would I go to a woman?

>>466491

I like the double question mark. It suggests he isn't certain about his teeth, or perhaps the concept of teeth. Maybe that's why he isn't smiling. Maybe he's got things that are sort of like teeth but not really. Maybe he's got a gleaming yellow set of Lego heads sticking out of his gums.

>>466489

Good on you for shifting your position, but I really don't think that "washed up former professional bucket-minged slag" is fair. She has obviously had a lot of ups and downs, but I really do admire what she has made of her life. She's a successful businesswoman who is now running a charity that she is absolutely passionate about. Fair play to her.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-67023670

>>466488
>>466489

See, you fell for the most basic trap. You're actually listening to her as though the words that come out of her silly female mouth hole mean anything at all. If there's one thing we all agree on, it seems, it's that women don't know what they want.

I'm saying that in the most whale poacheric way possible to get a rise out of whiteknightlad when he shows up, you all know I don't mean it. And yet nevertheless the point stands- I bet you a tenner she'd be perfectly happy with a gamer as long as he wasn't skint, looks after himself, and has the charm and confidence to make her smile.

>>466493

>I like the double question mark. It suggests he isn't certain about his teeth

Nah, that's just what an emoji shows up as in plaintext, grandad.

>>466489

>Here, we have a woman, and not just any woman but an expert in being a slag, giving constructive, proactive advice on how to be a better man.

>She might be a desiccated trough of AIDS, but she's giving some excellent advice to a lot of people who really need it, so perhaps I should be more forgiving.


Lad. Have you followed her career at all the last 20 years. She's a fucking ditz.

I wouldn't take advice from her on how to open a pack of biscuits.

>>466493
>I like the double question mark. It suggests he isn't certain about his teeth ..
I took it more as subtle suggestion that he's an above average 'healthy, successful bloke' as opposed to the other people you might meet in life with busted teeth who take a bus to the job center.
Although >>466495 might have it right considering the second instance of questionmarks doesn't include a preceding space.

>>466494

I refer you back to my previous comment about the difference between someone who plays computer games and "a gamer".

Do you ever catch your subconcious in mid conversation with itself and end up wonder just what the fuck it's talking about?

>>466497

>as opposed to the other people you might meet in life with busted teeth who take a bus to the job center.

Nothing wrong with using public transport. Always think green.

I guess what matters to most women is that you've got at least a bit of direction in your life. Have a decent job you go to every day that supports you, have some interests and hobbies, don't be a door knob to talk to.

If you can manage that, then you'll already have a reasonable chance of attracting somebody who is just about average. Most of us can't realistically hope for more than that anyway.

I think I have welfare concerns about a volunteer at work. I'm so far out of my depth breaching this sort of thing, but I would posit that even someone with a severe learning disability should know which way their underwear are suppose to face, should have access to their own mobile when they want it, and should not be walking around with a jacket full of holes, especially in this weather. First time I met him he said he'd thrown up in the street because he'd eaten severely undercooked bacon.

>>466499
Maybe. I definitely catch myself gaming out scenarios that have zero chance of actually happening, before realising that and snapping out of it. And I don't mean "what if someone loved me :(" I mean bollocks like "what if my best mate's sister-in-law who lives 300 miles away saw me playing Pokemon Go on my way to catch a train". It sounds like paranoia, but I think it's really more like when a cat gets distracted by a laser pointer on a wall.

Sort of related, but this year I've been getting this strange phenomenon where, between falling asleep and being awake, I'll get a thought along the lines of "damn, I just remembered I was suppose to do x today", but it's completely made up, nothing happened. The other day I "remembered" a conversation I had face-to-face with someone I've only ever spoken to over the phone.

>>466478

Abscess update: I was massaging my gum to try and squeeze out the last of the pus and I felt a hard lump. After a bit of poking and prodding, the lump emerged. On further inspection, I determined it to be a partly decomposed tomato seed. I feel a bit sick, but also weirdly euphoric.

>>466477
You lads ever think about Ignatius in Confederacy of Dunces and how we partly find him personable because he was driven by his faith in the wheel of fortuna. His life being a fucking mess that's heading into a mental institution but he never feels like Karma is it work but the whimsy of fate. I hate getting into dualist clichés but it's weird Old World produced a philosophy of shit happens acceptance and another of karmic accounting control - again.

We hate karmic people because they seem fake, anxious and moralising - it's like another branch of the modern obsession of self-improvement and accountability. And of course we like people who embrace shit happens and cynically accept the world is unfair, but equally like most internet people I should get off my arse sometimes.

>>466501

Search online for the name of your local council and the phrase "adult safeguarding". They'll accept referrals from members of the public. Sadly, I do have to warn you that their response might be "that's very unfortunate, but we don't really have the resources to do anything until something more serious happens".

>>466503

There are still many parts of the world where people truly believe that everything is predestined by god. Those places have absolutely terrifying taxi drivers.

>>466505

... Who's the little armchair for?

>>466505
I suppose it's telling that the prime western source for this is Boethius writing while awaiting execution from a barbarian king. And if you read the original translations of Greek epics you notice it too. When fates doom someone in a story they don't have the rage against that we'd expect, up until recent history it was all just things happening to people.

Don't go meet any Arabs on a beach with them either. Why yes it is being nice up my own arse in this weather. I have to keep my hands warm somehow.

Can't sleep. Too much coffee again.

Fuck.

>>466499
I have a psychotic illness so a lot of the time my thoughts are going down bad routes. If I'm busy doing something I enjoy or can focus on, it's not too bad. But if I'm walking around or on the bus or zoning out sometimes I'll catch my head thinking silly/fucked up stuff. Like one time in my last job I was in a one to one with my supervisor and then the thought came up of "I bet she's had a hysterectomy" which I thought was really funny and I started laughing. But then I look like a mong randomly laughing. And I can't explain to her "I had a really funny thought about your sexual organs" to justify the laughing.

How is it that Aldi's knock off biscuits are better than every other supermarket's knock-off biscuits while still being cheaper?

>>466510
Belmont/Tower Gate? You gotta be kidding me have'nt you? Nothing but sweetmeal, they're gross. That's not to say other supermarkets are much better - I had some Tesco digestives recently that were awful - but they're definitely of a diferent standard.

In my group tutorial today, the tutor gave us a hacked SNES Mini to play while each person was individual taken out for a 1-on-1. The others shat on Super Mario Kart, Zombies Ate My Neighbours, Super Bomberman, Street Fighter II Turbo, and Super Mario World. I tried to avoid playing as I don't like competitive games. They made me play a match of SFII. It went exactly how one would expect a manchild in his thirties playing against a 19 year old who never played a fighting game to go. Should I have pretended I don't know most characters' special moves and I don't understand how fighting games work?

>>466512

>Should I have pretended I don't know most characters' special moves and I don't understand how fighting games work?

Nah. They're paying for an education, you should give them one.

>>466512
Usually when playing against a person with less skill or understanding of the game, I'd 'go easy' on them and ensure they're having fun above all else. Infact it's a great mindset to take when playing anything - getting sweaty over something so meaningless changes the way you think and behave, I'd rather the practice be more positively holistic.
It reminds me of playing modern Mario Kart with my younger sibling - how I'd stop before the finish line, run the race backward, constantly keep up with them and let them overtake at key moments, etc. Anything that'd get them to laugh and enjoy the shared experience. Winning doesn't matter in these situations, if it ever does. Granted your performance may have been to display the complexities and content of the game, but context you know?

I'm more interested in your 1-on-1 with the course tutor. Did anything interesting come up? Some of us are quite invested in your progress. Not to put pressure on you, mind, it's just nice to follow a dream by proxy :)

>>466512

No, I think you did absolutely 100% the right thing and I would be disappointed if you hadn't. Just like in one of those animes where the old man the protagonists overlook because they assume he is harmless and weak kicks their arse without breaking a sweat, and turns out to be the mentor they were looking for.

>>466514
I had a weird thing last week where I left a four hour group session after two hours because I couldn't handle people, and I emailed him about it. He asked how I'm doing now and I said I'm coping better (last group session on Monday I actually stuck around and put my ideas across). He asked what I'm playing and I said Stellar Blade which he hadn't heard of, which I thought was weird as it got a lot of coverage with the clunge censorship, but I guess even people who lecture about video games aren't as deeply immersed in the gaming culture wars as I am.

He delivered a lecture about the history of video games this afternoon, some I didn't know about (OXO), some I learned from Atari 50, and some I lived through (16bit era onwards). It was kind of spun that early 3D was shit, which it generally is. But I think I viewed it from a perspective of "this was fucking great in 1996", rather than "haha look at how shit things used to look I cannot imagine it" which I guess many others thought.

Here's a word cloud from answers gathered from students at the end of the lecture. Many shitposts. Maybe interesting insight.

Do you fancy clubbing together to buy Paul O'Grady's house?

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/153066122#/?channel=RES_BUY

>>466512
I wouldn't take it easy during a fighting game because with most of them you can get quite far just by button bashing.

>>466517
If you're button mashing, it's hard to win against someone who slightly knows what they're doing in Street Fighter II I think. If you're Blanka, E Honda or Chun Li, mashing can activate electricity/fast punch/fast kick respectively. Two of them can be countered by jumping over the puncher/kicker, the electricity is harder to deal with without a projectile.

If it was Tekken or SoulCalibur it'd be a different story as even someone with zero fighting game knowledge can do well against mediocre players with the right mashing.

>>466517
There are 3-4 proper human houses on this land. That's not including all the animal stables and multiple floors. Surely at that point it's more trouble than it's worth, you'd either have your entire family staying over and they'd never leave or spend your life maintaining them.

>>466517

Funny how celebrity scousers always leave.

>>466518

Why do black people love Tekken? Not a set-up to a joke, I genuinely want to know.

>>466520
I read something about that a while ago. Something to do with black people coming from lower income backgrounds, where they couldn't afford PCs or home consoles. So arcade games were popular among low economic status blacks, latinos, and Asians, as it's only 50 cents a game or something. It's why you don't really see black CS2 or SC pros, as PC gaming was mostly for wealthier groups such as Koreans and whites. The fighting game community events in the UK are still dominated by non-whites, even though the days of the arcade are long gone. So because of these reasons, fighting games attract a more racially diverse crowd of people than other competitive games.

Coldplay flogging their album on QVC is one of the saddest things I've ever seen.

>>466522
Nobody buys albums any more. It's so bad that Wikipedia has an article written entirely in the past tense about the historical period when people bought albums. I was livid when I discovered that article.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Album_era

When you're making dinner for a lady, how do you do the business with portions and is there some rule to it?

I always just double my own portions but then sometimes the woman will put some of the food onto my plate or say that I've given her loads of food. Which is fine, but I don't know how to handle giving someone the amount of food they want. I know women eat less and I'm a greedy pig but I don't know how to handle this minefield, presumably some people will be angry with me if I give them less food. I fucking would be.

>>466524
You could just leave the pot on the table and then both of you can take as much as you want.

>>466524

I ask them how much they want.

Probably doesn't work if your girlfriend is fat and you're trying to get her to eat less, but I find with a fat bird you have no real choice but to demonstrably eat the same portions as them at mealtimes, and secretly feed yourself the extra calories you actually need as a man without her knowing.

>>466525

That works equally well for those of us with the opposite problem. Most of the lasses I go out with are at least twice my size, so I always order or serve a couple of side dishes "for the table" so they don't feel self-conscious about eating more than me.

>>466523
I still buy albums from time to time. Mostly old ones but occasionally modern. Would buy more if were easier.
I think CDs are still going strong inside developing countries.

I got a new oven and fridge freezer delivered today. They beep a lot more than the old ones.

>>466523

The metal scene definitely still places a lot of value on albums and physical releases in general. One of the better things about it, even though a lot of people criticising it for being an "elitist" scene that discourages newcomers from listening to mainstream artists and all that, and call it "gatekeeping", is that the fans in that genre are still committed to supporting the grassroots of the genre. They are hostile to the corpos and labels taking over and watering everything down, and that's a large part of the reason the genre is still going strong 40 years after its heyday.