https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1woiy5p4h8

I think I took two Mirtazapine tablets last night. I wasn't sure if I'd already taken one when I went to bed, so I took one just to be sure. But going by the way I've been feeling drowsy and not "with it" all morning, it was probably a double dose. So we're talking 60 mg instead of 30. A one-time overdose like that doesn't hurt you, but you'll spend most of the next day feeling a bit shit.

>>469182

I once made the mistake of thinking "I can't sleep, but I've got some old Mirtazapine tablets at the back of the drawer, one of those should do the trick". They were 45mg. I did not feel well.

>>469181

You are single-handedly wrecking my YouTube recommendations.

Bought a lawnmower and it's fucking great.

>>469183

>I once made the mistake of thinking "I can't sleep, but I've got some old Mirtazapine tablets at the back of the drawer, one of those should do the trick". They were 45mg. I did not feel well.

That's about at the upper end of how much you should regularly take per day. If you are taking it off label for sleep related problems, then some sources say 7.5mg is enough. I'm taking 30mg because at that dosage, it has really relieved my anxiety and mild depression.

I take it you've gone off Mirtazapine. Did you ever feel like it was dampening your full range of emotions that you had before? I mean, it's a good thing when you're trying to get rid of your anxiety, but I sometimes feel like everything is just always one homogenous flow that never gets too high or too low. Fears and worries don't get me down like they used to, and I have very few panic attacks. But at the other end, it's been a long time since I had a feeling of being completely overjoyed or otherwise exceedingly happy. When something really good happens to me, it's just a kind of subdued, dulled feeling of quiet contentment. Like it's all through a filter.

Getting a bit /emo/ here, but there are people who have only known me on Mirtazapine, and one of them who doesn't know I'm on it has asked me how I do it. How I'm always cool as a cucumber and all my reactions are completely deadpan. I guess the technical term is flat affect. I've never told anybody besides close family that I'm on antidepressants. So I just said to my friend, well, maybe I'm just that kind of person. Admitting to being on antidepressants still has some stigma today, so it's just one of my little secrets that I'll continue to keep.

I was going to go to the shops, but I lifted my arm up to put a jacket on and realised I'm absolutely honking.

>>469183
>You are single-handedly wrecking my YouTube recommendations.

You've got to open stuff like that in a private tab.

>>469186

>You've got to open stuff like that in a private tab.

Don't most people only use their private tabs for wanks?

>>469187
I use private browsing to come here. If I die and my phone gets broken, nobody will ever know I was here.

>>469185

>Did you ever feel like it was dampening your full range of emotions that you had before?

That's very common with antidepressants, even when given to people who are psychologically healthy. Some psychiatrists think that it's fundamental to how they work, and why they work for depression, anxiety and a variety of other conditions - they don't really change your emotional state, they just turn the volume down on all your feelings.

My depression is so chronic and severe that not feeling anything is a definite upgrade. I'm OK with being a robot, because it's better than total despair. For people with milder symptoms, it's a more difficult tradeoff; I'd encourage them to use antidepressants as a short-term stepping stone rather than a long-term crutch, ideally with some psychotherapy or guided self-help.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8712545/

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41386-022-01523-x

>>469189

See also this excellent qualitative study:

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/emotional-sideeffects-of-selective-serotonin-reuptake-inhibitors-qualitative-study/88C72E9EA0961CDE777C2FDCDBCE1CA9

>>469189

>My depression is so chronic and severe that not feeling anything is a definite upgrade. I'm OK with being a robot, because it's better than total despair.

I kind of told my therapist the same when our sessions first started. She asked me what I thought it would take to make me happy, or happy again. So I said, I just wanted all the pain to stop.

That's something that many normal people often miss. That sometimes, happiness can simply be the absence of emotional suffering. And as long as Mirtazapine just in some way achieves that, I don't really care that it also makes me an emotionally lobotomised version of myself.

All this talk of Mirtazapine is making me hungry for battenberg cake. It's becoming a problem, I've fallen off the weight-loss wagon entirely since Christmas and now need to break the midnight snack cycle (and various other excuses to pig out).

Went to a wedding recently, and it's very strange to me that we still have weddings while Mars and Earth align. I understand it from an administrative/legal perspective, but the ceremony itself is weird. Having to repeat the magic words in front of people. It can only be done on specified designated wedding locations by designated wedding magic word sayers.

Feels almost like some weird superstitious ritual. Even secular ones have magic words.

>>469193
>it's very strange to me that we still have weddings while Mars and Earth align

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>469194
It legally can't be observed and registered without stating specific words in a specific way as directed by the weddingmancer.

There isn't a ritual like this when registering a birth, funeral services are not mandatory I don't think. It's only weddings which have a mandatory government sanctioned ritual attached, as far as the usual big life things go.

Unless there are more I can't think of.

>>469195

Is that not essentially bureaucracy? Every contract, law and judgement is magic words and rituals.

>>469193

An additional observation I've made through attending a few weddings over the years is that it really is all about the bride that day. If the bloke had his way, they probably would have celebrated with just a bunch of mates and a few cases of beer. Maybe a decent dinner. Formal attire optional. But women are the ones who turn it into the grotesque exuberance that weddings tend to be. Where the fucking napkins need to be colour coordinated with the tablecloth and the candles. And where months are spent working out who should get to sit with whom. And all the other intricate details. Where women get complely worked up over nothing. But oh, don't tell them that, ever.

>>469197
I don't think that's the fault of Women™, I think it's the fault of society and its expectations of women. They probably want all this shit because they're afraid of being judged if they didn't.

I just got a finger up my bum at the doctor. It’s not something I’ve ever tried before, and frankly, I don’t see what the appeal is.

My prostate is slightly bigger than it should be, but nothing to worry about, he said. He did not say, meanwhile, that you do shit yourself a little bit when he pulls the finger out and you just have to pull your underpants back up and sit back at the desk and talk to him like you haven’t shat yourself.

I can't stop fantasising about the new fat lass at work. She's not even fit but I keep thinking about bending her over.

>>469196
True.

Choice B seems pretty straightforward. The other choices are a bit flowerier and they're the ones I find weird being used for making a legal contract.

>>469197
There's a celebration at her parents' at the weekend, but even then she bought a lot of decorations and party stuff for it. But no hiring out a country hotel for 100 guests for thousands of pounds.

>>469199

Judged by who? Women. Yes, it's society, but remember 50% of society is women.

>>469199

>I don't think that's the fault of Women™, I think it's the fault of society and its expectations of women

And women aren't part of society?

The expectations around weddings rarely come from men. Setting aside weddings in more traditional, often eskimo countries, where the wedding effectively symbolises the bride becoming the property of the groom, the pressure in Western society is mostly from other women. From women's magazines, which are written by women for women, from women's web forums, and from women's female friends who tacitly - or openly - try to one-up each other with the grandeur of their weddings. Women aren't above signalling status, they just do it differently than men. And an opulent wedding can be part of that, which then puts other women under pressure to match up.

>>469125
>Why, yes, I was inspired to look up Groundhog Day after seeing another dispute arise on this site about sexual politics.

I was just listening to Sophie Willan on a podcast. She was talking about hooking up with a guy off Feeld with a huge cock, and getting fucked so hard that her IUD fell out. I'm normally quite comfortable in my own skin, but that left me feeling totally inadequate.

>>469208
I just try to tell myself it's all about core strength.

I ignored someone for a month after filing her self assessment return before deadline, because despite doing the work correctly I didn't factor in the 50% prepayment when I told her the full tax amount for the year, and I was somewhat embarrassed but also annoyed as I assumed she'd know this as she's been self employed for 5 years, and just ended up sacking it off until I was less depressed.

Anyway, she contacted me today asking to pay me. I was on the verge of checking back in with her as things are tight, but she's just...fine, didn't seem that bothered she had an extra 9k over expected to pay. And it's come right when I need it, which is nice. Especially considering I fucked up another tax return and owe £100 to HMRC via the client because of a fucking 11 day tax period going unfiled, but whose to say I can't appeal this on the phone..

So I expect something shit to happen later today. Also, don't hire me as your accountant. I'm a consultant, I don't like doing real work.

>>469208
I assumed she was hot, and it made me feel disappointed. Now I see that she's not, and I feel like it's okay to have a distinctly average cock because I can definitely pull better looking women than her. It's concerning that I've found a way to turn this anecdote into putting someone down and raising myself up, but I suppose it's because I suck at Feeld and ugly people are having more sex than me.

>>469211

I think your lack of success on Feeld may be related to your unreasonable standards, because Sophie Willan is bloody gorgeous.

>>469210
>she's just...fine, didn't seem that bothered she had an extra 9k over expected to pay.

To be fair, the self-assessment was for the 2023/24 tax year and if you've made it 10 months into 2024/25 without anything set aside for tax then you'd need to sort your shit out.

>>469211
If you think she looks ugly, wait till you hear her voice.

>>469214

Racist.

At what point do you feel rich? This month I've earned just over £5,200 gross (around £3,660 after tax) which means I'm probably in the top ~15% of earners but I don't feel well off.

>>469216
>I'm probably in the top ~15% of earners but I don't feel well off

That's because we're a low-wage economy. Next you'll start talking about owning some shithole terraced house in the North.

>>469216

Trouble is money is a lot like hard drugs. It's never enough, no matter how much, you still plough through it, and then there's none left and you say "fuck." and resign to getting more, even though you hate it.

Get off money lads, it's poison.

Just worked through my electricity usage for the past year as my tariff is up for renewal. I've used pretty exactly 2900 kWh as the only occupant of a five bedroom, gas heated house. I wonder what keeps eating my electricity, I've swapped out near enough all light bulbs for LED, and I now rarely use the dryer. The only thing I can think of is my ancient washing machine and my even more ancient freezer, which I'm pretty sure is from 1980, like this house.

A few years ago the compressor on the old fridge was failing, to the point that it was pretty much running constantly, and it was drawing an extra 500 kWh per year compared to the brand new fridge I then bought. Maybe it's at least time for a new freezer. I'll get the washing machine sorted at some point, but I don't think I'm using it often enough to make the biggest difference.

>>469219

If you don't fancy a smart meter, you can get a plug-in energy monitor for about a tenner on eBay or Amazon.

>>469216
It's not just the money; you need to have the freedom to spend it. I usually make around £2300 a month after tax, I think, and I'm wedged enough that I don't even know the exact number and I never spend anywhere near all of it (unless I make multiple big purchases in one month, but I bought my new mattress in the same month that I got a bonus, so I still finished the month richer than the previous month, and purchases like that are a rare thing for me). One month, during 2020 pandemic lockdown, I ended the month a full £1000 richer than the previous month.

But I always want to make sure I have enough money to have everything I want, so I rarely buy anything I want. I have around £16,000 in the bank right now, plus various investments which mean I have about 25 grand to my name in the whole world. But that's not enough to pay off my mortgage, and it's not enough to fix every problem in the shitty house I own, and if I paid to fix some of the problems, it's not enough that I wouldn't notice the money was gone. I could pay to go on holiday, but it would be no fun to go on my own and I don't have anyone whom I both like enough to bring along and who is also willing to come. I could buy a car, but then I'd be haemorrhaging money every month and I'd never be able to splash out on anything ever again. I can't afford a bigger, nicer house. I could treat my wife and kids to nice things, but they don't exist. So I just leave that money where it is, in the bank, rotting away. I couldn't really say I was poor, but I don't feel rich at all. But because I'm not poor now, I suspect I wouldn't ever feel rich unless other things in my life changed too.

>>469217

> owning some shithole terraced house in the North.

That's not what it used to be. Even those have gone up, and can set you back £100k or more. The only chance to escape that if you're relatively poor is if you're a rent to own tenant who started their contract before the property bubble of the last few years.

>>469222
>and can set you back £100k or more.
Mine was £178,000.

>>469222

£100k isn't what it used to be. If you can scrape together a £5,000 deposit, you could get a mortgage for that even if you're on the minimum wage.

I don't want to pretend that things aren't tough for a lot of people. The north has a lot of fairly bleak problems, primarily related to intergenerational unemployment, long-term sickness and squeezed incomes at the middle. With that said, the standard of living available to a low earner is just radically better, because housing costs are so much more manageable.

If you're a warehouse operative or a van driver in my neck of the woods, buying your own home is a completely viable ambition. You might need to count your pennies and do a bit of OT to get a deposit together, but it's doable. In most of the southeast, that'd be pure fantasy.

>>469223
Mine was £180k when I bought it 10 years ago. Think it's worth about £270k now, but that includes converting the garage into a second living room.

>>469223

>Mine was £178,000.

Otherlad said a "shithole" terraced house.

I just randomly looked up the average current house price in Middlesbrough, if we're talking dreary Northern towns, and Google says it was £134,000 in December 2024. If that's the average, then a less than average terrace will probably be somewhere just below that.

Then again, there are plenty of terraced houses on Rightmove for Middlesbrough, and they actually start somewhere around £60K. But at that price point, you're probably pretty much getting a glorified double bedsit.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/find.html?locationIdentifier=REGION%5E933&sortType=1&propertyTypes=terraced&mustHave=&dontShow=&furnishTypes=&keywords=

>>469218
I've never lost sleep from a lack of hard drugs I've never had.

>>469226
>**PERFECT INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY**

It's been months since I opened Rightmove and part of me had forgotten how disgusting the property market is.

>>469226
I would argue that my sprawling 1970s council estate in Manchester counts as a shithole. But it's true that when I wrote that post, I was guilty of the cardinal urbanite sin of assuming that "Shithole, Greater Manchester" is what everyone would think of, as opposed to "Shithole, Yorkshire", which is a whole lot cheaper.

>>469228
MIDDLESBROUGH ISN'T YORKSHIRE.

>>469229

If you haven't been to Middlesbrough, it really is pretty grim in a few places. I visited a friend there once about ten years ago, who lived in a more middle class part, but we went through a few areas that looked absolutely fucking depressing, in a way that I'm not sure I'd seen before.

>>469229
I'll just shut up now, then. I was going to say "Shithole, South Yorkshire", because that's where most places that I consider to be poverty-stricken shitholes are congregated, and then I had a horrifying vision of your exact reply, from someon assuming that I was dumb enough to think Middlesbrough was in South Yorkshire.

In my defence, though...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middlesbrough
>Middlesbrough (/ˈmɪdəlzbrə/ ⓘ MID-əlz-brə), colloquially known as Boro, is a port town in the Borough of Middlesbrough, North Yorkshire, England.

Student politics hasn't changed in over 10 years. Still people making a big deal about Palestine, trans, and fighting the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.

All totally valid things to be concerned with. Maybe the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society issue is a bit dubious. I thought Gen Z were meant to be the conservative generation, but so far they seem as left wing as millennial students were in 2015.

One guy who is running for president's main goal was an immediate 20% increase to the maintenance loan. I chalked it up to being an overly optimistic, ambitious youth, and appreciated the hopeful but ultimately empty pledge. But he's in his early 30's. So I just think he's mental or stupid.

>>469232
>But he's in his early 30's. So I just think he's mental or stupid.

On the contrary, it sounds like he understands his target audience.