Got a start date for my new job last week, after being offered it at the end of June. So I now know how much NEETing I have left.

Going to be weird going from near enough infinite free time, to having to really make the most of what I will have.

I was approved for a passport this morning. The interview was a bit weird, because I had to talk about incredibly boring and mundane topics like the local highstreet, my dull job, and what the nearest train station is called. In an actual conversation that's the kind of thing I'd cut myself off from carrying on about by declaring "anyway, who cares?", and changing course.

>>472097
You get used to it eventually but some days you do wish for the neet life again (then you remember having no money and it all balances out)
Good luck lad.

The house opposite have had a full skip on their driveway for about a month now. Almost every other day there'll be someone pull up alongside it in a van before they go skip diving for valuables. As it's the summer holidays there's been a few of them taking their kids along with them.

It can't be that lucrative, can it? All the bloke today took away was an old vertical fan.

Think I've encountered a proper time cube style internet schizo. Go on rudgewick and look for r/lyricaldrugs. It's just one person endlessly posting this incomprehensible shit.

>>472097
What will you be doing?

You will have less free time, but you will have momentum and you will do a lot more with that time. I lost my job around a month ago and I thought of all the things I could do, but I’ve barely touched any of them. I could get a water meter installed in my house, but I haven’t. I was advised to book an annual doctor’s appointment, but I haven’t. I’m doing okay at reading the books on my unread-books shelf, but I haven’t got rid of my old bike yet and there’s no reason why I couldn’t do that today.

>>472107

Procrastination really is the mind killer. It's hard to just kick yourself up the arse and force yourself to do things but it really is the only thing for it. Otherwise you just put it off and put it off, if you can leave it today you can leave it tomorrow and the day after.

>>472106
I'm looking at this and I'm struggling to shake the notion that this is some elaborate clandestine communication. Insane nonsense is a great cover for intelligence service chatter, but then again it really could just be insane nonsense.

Actual viable pictures of Donald have shown up.
He's alive, but looks properly fucked.

Skinny Rock looks like Gregg Wallace.

>>472111

"Skinny" in the Rock's case means still being built like a brick shithouse, but not a bulging brick shithouse.

>>472112
Just like Gregg.

>>472113

Fucking hell. How bizarre.

>>472110
I tried to find them and couldn't. There's too much clickbait and slop. Can you help me?

>>472116
Click on the bit that says "Any Time" and change it to "Past Day".

Spent an hour and a half tonight unbunging the three-port valve on my boiler. It's basically there to switch between heating and hot water. When it gets bunged up, it'll get stuck on one position, and in my case my hot water was really hot, while I had no heat the other night. It's early in the season, if that, and I wanted to give my heat a test run to be aware of any issues before the cold season starts.

Anyway, it's really the kind of job you should leave to your HVAC specialist, but I've done some minor work on this boiler and the heating system in the past, and it's kind of straightforward. The hardest part was shutting off all water valves to the boiler and then draining the boiler itself to remove all the water pressure, so that the valve cartridge could then be safely unscrewed without making a splash. And then with some washing up liquid and chlorine bleach, I was able to remove the gunk from the inside of it so that it now slides up and down again without much resistance.

This kind of job is an easy £250 if you have somebody come in, including whatever silly money they'll charge you in parts for a new cartridge, which is no more than £35 on the Internet. But I definitely recommend eating that cost if you're not good with repairs and don't have a grasp of what you're doing.

This week, I have seen three foxes, one hedgehog, and one particularly brave rat.

One of the foxes even let me take a picture. Usually they can tell when you get your phone out and fuck off.

>>472119
There were two foxes in my garden, and I opened the window and they both turned to look at me. They just stared, and I stared back, for several minutes. It was slightly awkward.

>>472120

Perhaps they wanted you to take a picture?

I know you lads hate clubcards, but Morrisons gave me a £4 off a £25 shop voucher and I'd saved up enough more card points to exchange for a fiver so I've just knocked £9 off my lunchtime shop.

>>472122

That's an expensive lunch. Rest of us are moaning about the meal deal going up and you're buying caviar and champagne.

>>472123
The most extravagant thing I bought was probably vine tomatoes and feta cheese. If I'm going out to the shop on my lunch break it makes sense to me to top up on fruit and fresh bits I'll need at home during the week.

Cut some pears in half, call those singles then get banned from the strip club.

There's a lad at work who is only about 19 but I can tell he's going to be bald before he's 27. He's not thinning yet but he's the exact template of blokes who go bald dead early. Poor bastard.

>>472131
My brother-in-law started balding before he was 20. He wears a baseball cap all the time now, but it makes him look like a massive carpet-bagger.

>>472132

There was a lad at my school who had the same problem. He was markedly losing hair above his temples by age 16 when he left school. I ran into him again at my gym ten years later, and really didn't recognise him at first, but sure enough, he was completely bald, with the rest of his hair on the sides and back trimmed to about three millimetres.

My barber once told me that if you're not bald by 40, it's not likely you still will be. I'm 51 now and there's about a centimetre of hairline missing above my forehead. Which bugs me some days, but on the other hand, I'm lucky enough to still have enough hair that you wouldn't perceive me as bald if you saw me in the street.

Just made vinaigrette for a salad, but an excess amount of oregano has ruined it. Which I am just now realising as it's already in my salad.

Looks like Bran flakes are back on the menu, boys!

>Explicit images of Welsh Reform councillor found on adult websites

https://nation.cymru/news/explicit-images-of-welsh-reform-councillor-found-on-adult-websites/

Shame on otherlad for keeping Princess Spyderlily all to himself.

>>472136

The torn Atari shirt is truly the icing on the cake.

>>472136
>>472137
Russ Meyer might actually come back to life for this woman.

>>472136
None of it actually has her norks out properly though.

I've just grated about 400g of tofu and put it in tub to marinate with a load of soy sauce for a few hours. Hopefully it turns out alright when I stir fry it later.

>>472173

I had tofu bratwurst the other weekend. It was as underwhelming as it sounds.

>>472165

Probably for the best. When I had a lass with enormous tits, the most unflattering thing she could do was take her bra off.

Weird vibe. Monday night and it's my Friday. Fancy playing some videogames online but my mid-30s friends will all have to be early to bed for work tomorrow won't they. Suckers.

I think I'm going to drink energy drinks and find some really nasty porn to have an extended wank to.

There's this weirdo who rides his quiet racing bike around the neighbourhood town during the earliest hours of the morning. I've been seeing him for years but most recently it's becoming obvious how he tracks my movement from street to street, often doubling back in his course. I would have thought he's just curious, as am I, but a number of time's I've felt the need to duck a bush or two to avoid him. I've enjoyed seeing him search left and right as he passes my presumed location, but he's also crept upon me a few times.
This morning I decided to take a long detour home, listening for badgers. Also found a broken mirror while struggling for meditation. Telling.

Anyone who gets their news from a right wing sexy kitsune V-tuber needs to kill themselves NOW.

>>472118
Underr8ed post, well done m8

>>472104
>The house opposite have had a full skip on their driveway for about a month now. Almost every other day there'll be someone pull up alongside it in a van before they go skip diving for valuables.
Nah people throw out valuable stuff all the time, often for convinience. If you know how to repair or repurpose items, you can usually find some value. I'm pretty sure that's what India does with the rubbish it buys from other countries - grade and reuse.

I've got my eye on some wooden fence posts and carpet underlay on my street that're clearly abandoned.
The posts are about £20 each new. Once tidied up could be used in garden furniture or burned.
The carpet underlay and spare sofa fabric could make a padded carpet for my home - not overly valuable for the quantity but I'm not going to pay if it's just laying there in the street.
There was a huge pile of dark wood planks in a neighbours garden recently, haphazardly dumped in a pile, but I was gone before I could make an offer - was in mind to resell it.

There's that show on broadcast television about 'upcycling', it's not a bad start to see what can be done with pre-owned items and just how much people will pay for shit.

>All the bloke today took away was an old vertical fan.
I'd pay up to £15 if it was clean enough and worked.

I've had to unplug my freezer and let it defrost. The massive iceberg on the roof had become too large for the door to seal properly shut, so it was using loads of electricity and getting extremely loud. I've been putting it off by chiselling away bits of the ice for about 6 months, but push has finally come to shove.

I should be able to fit about twice as many Chicago Towns in there after this though. Iceland here I come.

>>472186
Are you sure he's not one of those Strava nutters? I used to work with a keen cyclist and apparently it got extremely competitive to be the fastest person on Strava to have cycled a particular stretch of road, to the point there were accusations that people were getting towed by cars and all sorts.

What do you think Greta smells like?

>>472198

She looks like a middle aged mum before her time in that picture.

There was always something about her that you knew she'd peak before her twenties. And i mean that in a strictly non-carpet-baggery way. Some young women do.

>>472198

BO. The eggy type.

I really can't understand how some people fetishise that kind of thing.

I need to find a good forearm exercise. Besides wanking, anyway. Other than that it's nice how, after just a few week's exercise, I no longer sound like I have boneitis when I move.

>>472201
No one smells of eggs. That's made up. Where do you people live? Are you even people? Am I on a forum for beings from another planet by mistake? In fact I think I've heard that grey aliens smell of eggs and piss, so is that what's going on?

>>472203

Sorry to break it to you lad but they do.

Most of the time you are simply deceived by deodorant products, because it's so ingrained in our culture that I don't think any self respecting person (so yes, that excludes all three of you) who regularly has close contact with other humans goes a day in their adult lives without wearing it, but they do. People fucking stink actually. Their sexy bits especially. Not always in an unpleasant way, but I think that's more conditioning than anything at this point. Some people smell a bit more oniony than eggy, some people smell a bit more like what I can only describe as wet animal. But people definitely do smell.

Actually now that I think of it, I too only noticed this when I stopped smoking. Do you smoke?

>>472203
If your farts smell of eggs, and you fart, then you too will smell of eggs.

Bouldering will give you superhuman forearms. If you don't want to go to a special rock-climbing place, just lift a dumbbell a bunch of times and your forearms will get big too. If you only want giant forearms and nothing else, place your arm on a flat table with your hand hanging over the edge, and lift the weight with just your hand while keeping your arm flat on the table. You'll never be able to roll your sleeves up again.

It someone says that people don't smell like eggs, chances are they smell like eggs and have gone nose blind to it.

If someone says people smell of eggs then the dirty fucker has been eating rotten eggs. Healthy eggs don't smell of farts.

>>472204
> People fucking stink actually. Their sexy bits especially. Not always in an unpleasant way, but I think that's more conditioning than anything at this point.

Agreed, there's a fine line between fresh sweat after someone's done exercise and the pong you get if that person has been wearing the same sweaty clothes hours later even if they themselves had a shower. All deodorant achieves in that scenario is that they smell of stale sweat and deodorant.

Short of smothering it all in deodorant there are a few things that can help. Scrub properly with a brush, loofa, or wash cloth in the shower, this cuts down on the "wet dog" smell. Don't be afraid of a light moisturiser. Make sure your washing machine smells of nothing except detergent otherwise your clothes will have a subtle or not so subtle smell of mildew; run bleach through it if in doubt. If you cook anything fragrant or greasy have cooking clothes or change afterwards.

More than people, though, what fascinates me is the "house smell". Everyone's house or flat seems to have a unique smell, rarely unpleasant but noticeable enough that with practice you could identify where you are by smell alone.

>>472204
I know people can smell, you dafty. I'm saying they don't smell like eggs, not in my experience. Or onions for that matter. Are you friends with a lot of people who work in food production or catering? In my experience body odour doesn't smell like anything besides body odour.

>>472205
Thanks for the advice.

>>472207
Fuck you, pal, I have a Fragrantica profile.

>>472212

I feel like we shouldn't have to explain it's not a literal egg smell we are referring to here, just the closest way you can describe smells. We don't have a defined set of words for fragrances in the way we do colours or sounds, which is pretty interesting in itself when you think about it, but we just compare them to various other things, usually foods.

The eggy smell people associate with that distinct type of BO is the sulphury, ammonia type of smell caused by the metabolic activity of various bacteria. That's why fresh sweat doesn't smell that way, you only get that smell when the sweat has been allowed to soak into the clothes and continue to stew for a number of hours. It's the same odour they put in those stink bombs you may remember from your school days.

Fat birds nearly always get the onion-y smell (again, not literally onions, it's just "sharp" in the same way as freshly chopped onions, and reminds of that) presumably because it's a different kind of bacteria that accumulates in their disgusting ham folds. But I've smelled it on slim healthy women, usually first thing in the morning if you had a particularly physical sweaty shag the night before.

>>472209

>More than people, though, what fascinates me is the "house smell". Everyone's house or flat seems to have a unique smell, rarely unpleasant but noticeable enough that with practice you could identify where you are by smell alone

I'd actually imagine you can recognise people's home by the smell a lot more easily than you think, it'll be something completely subconscious you don't normally pay much attention to, but if you were blindfolded and put in your friend's and family's houses, I bet you could identify them all immediately.

There's also that thing about how smells are also the strongest form of memory, which I've always found interesting. Think about how you can imagine the exact scent of your gran's Sunday roast or what have you, it's often a lot clearer and more vivid than attempting to visually recall the kitchen, or you may even not be able to recall one without the other.

I can always distinctly remember the smell of my dolescum council house cousin's house, because it smelt like my house but ten times more. My dad smoked, both their parents smoked. We had a dog, they had two dogs and let them on the sofas. It was overpowering as soon as you walked in, but I never disliked it. My auntie's house always smelt rank to me, but she had two cats, and didn't smoke; so the main smell was cat. For my entire life I've never found any cat owner's house pleasant to be in, and it's likely because they smell of cat, but I grew up with the smell of dog.

>>472214
My mother-in-law has cats and her house always has the vague whiff of cat piss soaked in wood.

My friend's house has a 'poor person' smell that makes me vaguely nostalgic for when I used to visit one of my childhood friends. It took me ages to realise it's a damp, musty smell because she never property cleans the place.

>>472213
>I feel like we shouldn't have to explain it's not a literal egg smell we are referring to here
Oh, well, I have good news, I'm really not fussed about this minor point of disagreement.

>>472209

>the "house smell". Everyone's house or flat seems to have a unique smell

I don't mean to get classist, but I posit that there is such a thing as a working class house smell. It's a mixture of labourer sweat, stale beer and cigarette smoke, cooked processed food, and cheap laundry detergent. Possibly also a slight whiff of mouldy walls or dogshit.

I used to work for a charity that was looking after people in precarious life situations, which was a euphemistic way of saying skint and long-term jobless or in low paying employment, and every second home we would regularly visit had that sort of smell.

>>472217

What do middle and upper class houses smell of?

>>472218
Lower middle class homes smell like reed diffusers and/or Febreze/plug-in air freshener.

>>472218
Lotion.

>>472218

Properly upper class houses smell like an antiques shop or a second-hand book shop - everything is old and threadbare, there isn't a scrap of synthetic material anywhere and they aren't too fastidious about cleaning.

>>472222

I was going to say middle class homes smell of undue aspiration and disproportionate debt, and upper class homes of 18th century fireplaces and quiet disdain for everybody below them. But your explanation will do.


>everything is old and threadbare, there isn't a scrap of synthetic material anywhere and they aren't too fastidious about cleaning.

I was once invited to somebody's house who was proper old money. Not super rich, but definitely refined in their ways and well heeled. It was the kind of place where their study room had wood panelling, top to bottom windows and 18th century wood furniture casually strewn about. And it did smell of old books. And of furniture wax. Maybe even more furniture wax than books.

>>472223
>I was going to say middle class homes smell of undue aspiration and disproportionate debt

Well I smorked. N1 m8.

>>472224
>smorked

Nah fuck it, I'm leaving that in.

>>472225

How easily do you reckon you could clean the dirt off this watch?

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/317238325985

>>472219
I disagree, I think they smell of this kind of cooking smell infused into carpet flooring.

>>472227
>dirt
Pleasurably easy. The surfaces should be fine with rubbing alchohol (Isopropl, from my brief experience - ask an independant chemist). Apply and buff with cottonwool buds.
Works on a lot of materials, though I wont be using it on rubber again.

>>472227

An old toothbrush and washing up liquid will get it sorted in under two minutes.

>>472212
>Fuck you, pal, I have a Fragrantica profile.
Bitch, tell me about it. I once wanted to buy a range of common perfumes so I could get an idea for who wears what. Seems like a subtle but important signal!
'So.. Unique' brand is quite nice for its sweetness but it's noticably cheap.
Can you share any lesser known brands, valuable or not?
What do you wear?

You know what Sweep was a fucking little shit actually, wasn't he.

>>472233
I feel that Sweep is ethnically black.

>>472234
It's possible. Dipsy the Teletubby is clearly black, which gets mentioned oddly rarely.

Got some big thunder going on.

>>472232

Not him but if you want a classic, inoffensive everyday fragrance, try Azzaro Chrome. It's kind of a soapy, subtle aquatic scent that can be worn to just about any occasion, from your daily office job to a night out or a day on the beach. And it's still more or less affordable at around £35 for 50 ml from a reputable high street source*.



* I got burned once buying it for £15 online. Never again. It was apparently the genuine article, but it had probably been sitting on a shop shelf or in a warehouse for five to ten years because it pretty much smelled of nothing. You do get what you pay for.

I could sell waffles for dogs, call them wooffles.

>>472234
You can't say enthnically black, it's too broad. I essentially understand you to mean 'not one of us' (presuming you're white, or atleast a britfa.g, rather than say Conganese or Egyptian (I don't even know if the walk likes are considered 'black').
Jesus christ this is like babies first Politico. I don't understand any of this shit. Wept for that lad using all those fuckin'.. alphabet clan acronyms the other week (That shit is nuts, well done for tracking it so closely).

>>472238
You could sell hot, sausage-based cakes for dogs. Hot hot dog dog cakes would sell like hot cakes.

>>472239

You know what he meant lad. We only have three ethnicities in this country. We don't need to overcomplicate it like the Yanks.

>>472240
That's a hot take.

>>472239
You're overthinking things.

Maisie Adam looks increasingly like your mum's mate who gets a bit handsy after two bottles of rosé.

>>472255
I don't think I've seen a single picture of her with a nice hairstyle.

The other lass on Taskmaster is rather shaggable.

Did I ever tell you about the time I saw a crows death ritual? That shit is insane.
A huge great oak, cackling with 50+ crows, huge uproar as one drops dead to the road below. They're all crying with laughter above, hysterics, as the fallen is crushed and ground under the wheels of a passing vehicle.
Carrion, they're fucking brutal.

>>472257
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthropomorphism#Psychology

>>472258
>Modern psychologists generally characterize anthropomorphism as a cognitive bias.
>Anthropomorphism can also function as a strategy to cope with loneliness
Such a lovely experience, when you allow it of yourself.
Here that recommendation again. 75 year old book - simpler times when people could actually talk with animals.

>>472258

Corvids do actually perform death rituals.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/151003-animals-science-crows-birds-culture-brains

>>472261
Fuck me, look at the mask it's horrendous. I would actually shit myself if I saw that while bird watching. Leg it, mate.

>>472261
Do they laugh? Is the understanding of bird laughter a new ornithological break-through I'm unaware of?

Just found out about this place, lads. Alri?

>Press conference announces that the shooter's bullets said:
>Fired bullet:
>"Notices bulges owo whats this?"
>Other unfired cases:
>"hey fascist! Catch! Uparrow, right arrow, three downarrow"
(Apparently a Helldivers reference)
>"O bella ciao, bella ciao, ciao, ciao"
>"If you read this you are gay lmao"

I'm tired.

>>472257
>>472261

I've seen the local magpies do it. They are fascinating creatures. Far more intelligent than most people give them credit for. Here's a video of one:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60Zg9sGnQf8

The same magpie has come to visit my balcony for nearly two years now because it found food there once. I keep meaning to get a bird feeder, because I'd like to befriend them.

>>472263
Tell us about your childhood pets.

I remember, very young, our hamster had laid all week in the corner of its pissy cage, pulsating. I was too scared to put my hand under to lift it up, instead I gently pinched its fur to pull. The entire back of skin peeled away to reveal black ribs and vascules. It twitched.
I don't know what happened after that but the creature and cage had disappeared.

>>472267

Have you spoken with your therapist about this?

>>472268
Not yet, do you suppose it has any relevance?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_dy3HiIFPQ

Have any of you three started foraging for mushrooms this season? I'm planning to go this week, after a fair bit of rain here. Probably Wendesday morning.

I've had the same Amazon driver two days in a row. I wonder at what point it'll start getting weird.

>>472297

There were two younglads parked in a DHL van right in front of my house a few weeks ago. Just parked, for ten minutes. So I went outside to look, and it turned out they were on a fag break. They told me they picked the spot under the big tree in my front garden that leans into the road to have a bit of shade. Fair enough, it was 26 degrees that day.

I guess that's why your parcels keep you waiting, but on the other hand, I thought let them younguns have their break. I had jobs like that when I was that age, and you desperately need a break now and then as a delivery driver. I can only imagine that it's more stressful now than 25 years ago.