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>> No. 20109 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 1:32 am
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Hello GamesMaster. I'm trying to get back into gaming and wonder if you can help.

My first experiences with playing computer games was on an Amstrad ZX Spectrum, a Commodore 64 and an Atari ST. I have frustrated memories of the Dizzy series and shitty KungFu Master style games. Done the Mario thing on NES & SNES. And Street Fighter II and Star Fox. I briefly owned the original XBOX and enjoyed playing Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne. I ended up giving it to my little sister cos I was too busy getting high and chasing that sweet tang (Not my sister's tang by the way - I'm not from the Fens).

My Mrs currently has an Ipad. I recently found myself playing Shadowgun:Deadzone on the shitter. I like hiding in the shitter. ITZ my safe place. The game is pretty boring though.

Anyhow, I hate cut scenes and crappy stories some retard game writer agonised over. I want to wack in my tape I shoplifted bought from the local paki discount corner store, wait twenty minutes for the pixels to do their thing and then frantically start shooting shit and running away with my legs held tensely in the air as my wife calls me a silly spastic. I guess I like Doom. But possibly with multiplayer. And on my new laptop (see pic).

Oh, and I don't want to have to learn how to operate a mouse / trackpad / 50 key option-combo-super-fiddle to play the fucking thing. I have a mouse and full size keyboard that I can use with my lappy. And my hand-eye coordination is as about as good as your dads. Cos I'm probably almost as old. And I'm normally really, really stoned. I don't mind buying a games controller. Although I'll need help setting it up. And I'd begrudge spending more than a tenner on a game.

Thank you Games Master. I'd really like to hear your suggestions. Cheers in advance
Expand all images.
>> No. 20112 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 1:49 am
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Team Fortress 2. It's free, it will run OK on a laptop, and it's an absolute hoot.
>> No. 20113 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 1:55 am
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Thank you GamesMaster. Just watched a YouTube trailer and it looks absolutely top banana. Might order a games controller to make the most of it. I don't suppose you have any suggestions? I reckon the wife won't mind if I spend £20 on it.
>> No. 20114 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 2:30 am
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You'll be far better off with a keyboard and mouse. Thumbsticks just aren't well suited to first person shooters.
>> No. 20115 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 2:32 am
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Not sure if you're serious but definitely just use mouse and keyboard for TF2. It's a fun game but since people have been playing it for so long, it'll take a while to get used to the quirky mechanics and get any good at it.

If you like FPS but prefer single player, then I'd recommend the original Bioshock if you haven't played it. It has almost no cutscenes, it's not too difficult (when you die you get instantly revived at no cost) and should run smooth on your lappy even on high settings due to its age.
>> No. 20116 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 11:33 am
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I vouch for TF 2 as well.

BUT - please OP, don't buy into the hat silliness. TF2 has changed A LOT since its inception - but the core gameplay remains, all the weapons you see players using that are weird/exotic aren't that crazy in comparison to the stock ones (most of which I use primarily). Just be a good sport, play on some decent UK servers - and have fun.
>> No. 20117 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 12:58 pm
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Quake Live. It's a free updated version of Quake 3 Arena:


Available through steam too.
>> No. 20118 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 1:47 pm
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QL has one downside, though: a really mature and decade old player base with all the experience that implies. Predictive rockets, item timer tracking, strafe/rocket jumping as second nature and so on and so forth. As an almost life long quake gamer they are no issue for me, but to someone new to the quake genre (fast movement based twitch resource management FPS) these can be a bit daunting and frustrating to deal with, especially if the new player is only used to "modern" FPS games.

It's still a hugely satisfying game to play and the steam launch brought in some much needed newbie blood letting new players feel more comfortable, but the skill gap once your ELO rises a bit is still there and requires pratice and perseverance to overcome.
>> No. 20119 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 2:12 pm
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Yeah I'm not sure how good a suggestion Quake Live is for someone who says "my hand-eye coordination is as about as good as your dad's". I guess it's free to find out, though.
>> No. 20120 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 2:17 pm
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QL has a ranking system though, so it goes from fairly crap players to super human no-lifers. The lowest level QL player is about a high-mid TF 2 player. As with everything, practice is key, and there is nothing more satisfying than winning a match at a high level. It's got excellent server support and the game engine has aged incredibly well.
>> No. 20121 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 2:37 pm
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Cheers lads. Downloaded both Quake Live and TF2. Depending how I get on I'll also give Bioshock a go. I have to wait till the wife goes to bed before I can play though. I'll update everyone once I have.
>> No. 20122 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 3:30 pm
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Get Civ 5 when it's £8 on Steam - it comes with every conceivable DLC and it's just the biggest time-sink ever. Amazing game.
>> No. 20128 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 10:29 pm
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Just had another thought, if you're looking for a free-to-play online game that isn't an FPS you might want to check out League of Legends. I never really got into it but quite a few people I know play it, I'd say it requires less hand-eye coordination than an FPS as well. System requirements are practically nothing, you could probably run it on a potato.
>> No. 20129 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 11:17 pm
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>you could probably run it on a potato.
>> No. 20130 Anonymous
16th April 2015
Thursday 11:21 pm
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Get some good emulators complemented by a USB-JOYPAD adaptor, along side real authentic pads from the system of your choosing.
>> No. 20131 Anonymous
17th April 2015
Friday 1:23 am
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Can't recommend this post enough. The emu scene is great for an old timer.
>> No. 20133 Anonymous
17th April 2015
Friday 1:51 am
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Seconding these. If you do, then go for the proper pads and an adapter rather than a modern USB lookalike as the latter are almost universally cheaply made shite.

(Sega did kick out a small run of USB Saturn pads some years ago that were supposedly as good as the originals, but last I checked they cost more than a regular pad and adapter.)
>> No. 20135 Anonymous
17th April 2015
Friday 9:09 am
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With the steam launch they made it more accessible to newer players with loadouts and item timers. Plus with a new weapon: heavy machinegun. I do agree though it has a high learning curve. Took me maybe 2 weeks or a month to win my first match of FFA and I'd played Quake 1, 2 and 4 also UT.
>> No. 20184 Anonymous
21st April 2015
Tuesday 10:38 pm
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I think Madcatz released some USB pads in the sega saturn pad style, meant to be for fighters but it's 10 buttons and a d pad, so you can't really go wrong.
>> No. 20185 Anonymous
21st April 2015
Tuesday 11:06 pm
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Skip to 3:08, her reaction is priceless.
>> No. 20186 Anonymous
23rd April 2015
Thursday 8:15 pm
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Mad Catz Street Fight IV Fight Pad[1].jpg
I have one of these, garish designs aside they're fantastic pads, I use mine for any 2D game I play. My only complaint would be that the d-pad is just a little bit too big - it's a good design choice for rolling a fireball in SF but not so great for snapping back and forth in platformers.
>> No. 20187 Anonymous
23rd April 2015
Thursday 11:09 pm
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Get an arcade stick for that. With a box gate and my Guile and Blanka were untouchable.

chargers for life
>> No. 20188 Anonymous
24th April 2015
Friday 8:20 pm
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I never managed to find an arcade stick I was comfortable with. I know all the crazy Japanese arcade pros use various Sanwa parts and there's this whole cottage industry built around it and all that, but I'm absolutely useless with one.

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