|>>|| No. 29298
One time I snapped at my lass fairly loudly in Nando's. Her work was 2 mins walk away, and her shift started in 10 mins. The queue went all the way to the door.
I literally couldn't fathom how she could be so blase about signing up to be 20 minutes late to work, it genuinely fucked me off, even though the place was fairly relaxed but she was *always* late and I didn't even know the managers but I was just pissed off for some reason, she was fine with it.
Personally not fussed if someone is late, as long as they tell me. Left the house half hour after intended? No biggie, you let me know and I know I now have 30 mins spare to doss about or amuse myself. Keep me waiting? I turn into a fucking ogre. Don't like that about myself but it's just so fucking disrespectful that I can't keep a handle on it. Much better at calming down now but there's always the initial super stern text before getting over myself.
I've genuinely told her off before when she tells me she's meeting someone else and starts faffing about or letting herself get distracted. Straight up "This is incredibly disrespectful" and tangents thereof. Not sure if that helped or just made me look like a prick. Her friends seemed understanding of it, but hearing her say 'Well none of my friends are bothered by this' just led me to launch into "They're just too polite to say, you're literally wasting their time". But she's very free spirited and I'm essentially Stalin without the balls, so my reactions are definitely relatively extreme as well.
I'm still late for a lot of events, but at least managed to get it together for work when a friend of a friend gave me a job on the condition I was there 15 minutes early every shift for 3 months. That helped me a lot.
Anyway, have you talked about it? Does she keep you informed if she suspects she'll be late? What areas/with who does she display this behaviour with, and are there any areas where she's always on time/early/prompt?
My girlfriend has made huge leaps in improving communication, she's apologetic if she doesn't keep me informed (not in like, a terrified way, but just simply acknowledging it and saying sorry goes a huge way to making you feel valued).
Basically, if she can't be on time, and you value her enough for the other aspects of her personality to make up for it, then what she *can* do is keep you informed. That should really help your self worth and prevent resentment.