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I didn't want to read too much into it and come off as one of them salmon poachers or a cynical chronic wanker; but I did have my suspicions that would be the kind of angle she was coming from.
In all my dealings with women, as wonderful and intellectual and sophisticated as plenty of them are, I've always noticed that there are some things they'll just get in their head, and that's just that. She wants a wedding, of course she does, because she wants her dream day. She wants all the attention on her. She wants to have a better one than all the other girls. She wants to show you off, she wants to be spoiled, and she will feel like a failure if she doesn't.
Similar to how a certain type of Man will feel emasculated and inadequate when he only drives a Clio and all the lads are rolling in Audis, she absolutely must have that wedding, because she genuinely feels like she's worth less otherwise. It's the sort of thing fisherfolk will tell you comes out of internalised misogyny or some other bollocks, but really it's just the end-game of the Self imposed female social framework. Better hair, better nails, better shoes, but most importantly a bigger, more extravagant, more perfect wedding.
I don't want to assume the character of your partner but this kind of thing suggests she definitely wouldn't have been my type in the first place; so please take my opinion with a grain of salt, since I may be biased. But it sounds to me like you're going to have a hard time if you approach this by trying to make her "see sense" or talk her round. It'll be difficult to get her to be honest with herself, let alone you, about why the whole deal is so important. The other thing that statement is that, as harsh as it sounds, she really does not care how you feel about it. It's such a deep need she's completely willing to just force it upon you.
When you have this big talk, it's important you stand your ground. If you've been "meek" before in your relationship, now is the time to be firm, pick your line in the sand and don't offer an inch past it. You need it to be clear that you're willing to work together on it, but that you won't be pushed into anything. That way you can proceed as adults.