|>>|| No. 29975
>consciously knowing it was a ridiculous thing to do
It is difficult to give advice, without sounding callous or harsh to you - and I certainly don't mean it to come across that way, but it probably will.
You both sought and got comfort from a situation that was never, or hardly ever going to resolve in a positive way. She is sharing the fact she "has a date" with you, for a reason - it's the long distance equivalent of a breakup. You were both doing it for "a bit of fun" and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You're obviously capable of forming relationships, friendships with women - focus on that positive aspect. You've done it once, you'll do it again. With time, this pain will pass.