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>> No. 30730 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 3:09 pm
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I think i just accused someone of inapropriate behaviour around children.

A public swimming pool with glass walls around, one directly on a footpath.
The person was stood against the window with a young dog, peering into the pool of children across the far end.
As i aproached, it seemed to me a lifeguard was also coming 'round to investigate from inside - no eye contact was made. What other reason would staff have to come all the way to the opposite end of the pool where no users were present?
As i passed i asked loudly "Do you have a family in there?", to which the person said yes and mumbled something as i walked off.

It's generally known that this location is inapropriate to stop at, especially so if your face is pressed to the glass like this persons was.

All i can think is to talk with the receptionist/manager and offer to pay for blinds to be put in the relevant windows.
I'm trying to convice myself it was right to 'confront' this person yet i feel bad for doing so.
Expand all images.
>> No. 30731 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 3:26 pm
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It’s funny how over 10 years this place has changed from the anarchy of the internet hate machine to the hot spot for curtain twitching neighbourhood watch of interest in the status quo.
>> No. 30732 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 3:37 pm
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We've all grown up and had little certified webmasters of our own. ANYONE TOUCHES MY KIDS I'LL DO TIME
>> No. 30733 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 3:38 pm
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I guess during those 10 years we've all grown up.
>> No. 30735 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 4:37 pm
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If I were you I'd wonder why I gave a toss? Someone staring through the window of a swimming pool for an extended period of time is obviously a creep, but no-one was in immediate danger, so I'd say it's a matter for the staff to handle, and you say they appeared to be aware. Apart from that, it's none of your business. Giving your hard-earned cash to the pool so they can redecorate sounds almost as mental as the bloke with the dog.
>> No. 30736 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 4:40 pm
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If growing up just means repeating the cycle of the people who came before us, and becoming the people you probably hated when we were young, sure.

Give it a few more years and I am sure people will be talking about the left wing like it has no value and a mental illness to even consider, and what the kids need is national service to teach them some values.

I am sure most of you are already at the stage of having dinner parties where you just talk about how the host chose the wallpaper.
>> No. 30737 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 4:51 pm
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Or all the fun people left.
>> No. 30738 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 5:20 pm
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It probably wasn't unless you were looking for a fight. You're best off not getting involved with these things, especially concerning children, unless someone is in immediate danger and even then it's a risky move. Although maybe that's why our kids keep getting abducted by whaling parties.

Can't say I blame you. If I found someone in my wanking spot I'd be annoyed too.

This place hasn't changed since 2011 m8. We just have more generals now. I distinctly remember a enlightened discussion on the merits of air ionisers around that time.
>> No. 30739 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 5:27 pm
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Aren't swimming pools shut due to corona?
>> No. 30740 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 5:34 pm
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>> No. 30741 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 5:48 pm
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Is it a problem to think we should all strive to meet an example of public behaviour? That we could all encourage and support one another in reaching that model?
Do you really want to be part of a community that excuses peeping on children as they play in a pool?
Why can a person not take responcibility rather than passing it down to someone else? Simply because there's money involved?

I am scared to live in a community where this is tollerated. Ofcourse i don't actually know that this person was peeping at the kids - it just seemed suspicious, unusual behaviour. I could indeed ask myself if i want to live in a community rife with paranoia, where anyone met in the wrong place at the wrong time is accused of pedophillia.
>> No. 30742 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 5:50 pm
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>This place hasn't changed since 2011 m8. We just have more generals now. I distinctly remember a enlightened discussion on the merits of air ionisers around that time.

I don't see how at all that is relevant to OP turning into a NIMBY.
>> No. 30743 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 6:43 pm
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>Ofcourse i don't actually know that this person was peeping at the kids

This is the part that's the problem.
>> No. 30745 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 7:52 pm
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I for one would rather not be part of a community of paranoid curtain twitchers who scream carpet-bagger! every time a lone man pauses to check their phone within half a mile of a playground.
That kind of behaviour has a much more corrosive effect on the community as a whole than the occasional potentially creepy guy who's motives the OP jumped to conclusions about looking over a pool fence.

For example:

I remember reading an article about a similar survey from the UK a couple of years ago with similar results but google isn't being particularly helpful.
>> No. 30748 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 8:53 pm
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Maybe the issue here is my perception with regard to children. Both my parents were abused, so i've been vaguely aware of that sort of thing from too young an age. It's like i'm trying to push too far the other way. Projection, init?
Just for context, >>/emo/30452 was my thread also.

I still think the pool guy's was unusual behavior, and i sort of recognised the alleged culprit as someone who was locally known to be engaging in disproportionately aged relationships (though i didn't know that until after i spoke - he looked back at me).
The day previous to this i recognised someone else in the same general location who was historically accused of public masturbation before children. This must have been playing on my mind.

The recolection of these 2 factors seems to add more weight away from the 'just let it be' attitude apparent here (which i may well be misunderstanding). I'm moderately aware of the process by which we search for complimentary evidence and discard anything contrary to our conclusions, by the way.
This is emotionally charged so it's difficult to let go - how could someone forgive themselves for discarding the safety of a child for fuck sake.
Where is the ballance between hypervigilance and complete apathy?
How do people develop their ability to appropriately detect and mitigate threats?

I'm not sure where to go from here. It's quite possible i made a mistake in my comment to the guy looking into the pool - i've made such faux pas before though of lesser consequence.

>Most men are reluctant to help lost kids
This one time a kid fell off his scooter near me with an audiable slap to the concrete. The kids parent was quite a way off and appeared to make little effort to help him, so i knelt down to pat him on the back. You can't just walk away from that, you know? When i bent down the woman started running toward us shouting "thank you!" in that sort of 'please dont' kind of way. He was a little shocked to interact with me, so I picked up the scooter and left before the woman made it to us.
>> No. 30749 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 8:58 pm
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>> No. 31616 Anonymous
17th February 2022
Thursday 10:43 pm
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explain yourself.jpg
Alright so the specific issue posted at the begining of this thread is gone and forgotten, but today I had a fight with my brother because I thought he was handling his child badly. Essentially I tried to convince him from the room where he was disiplining his child, thinking that the method was sustaining the problem rather than solving it.

I knew that approaching was to risk my brothers anger. I could have closed the door so I didn't hear. But I don't want to give up my nephews percieved wellbeing for personal comfort or cowardice. Again for reference, >emo/30452 was also my post.

I don't doubt that it takes a great deal of energy to raise a child well and that I myself would not meet the measure of a good parent.. but I don't understand how I can witness what I percieve to be poor parenting skills (hesitate to say 'boarderline abuse') without doing anything to address it. Atleast stranger families are nothing to do with me, but the thought that my nephew may one day in the future come to me saying "You could have done something" pains my soul.

Today I even realised how easy it would be to pay with my life if it allowed my brother the chance to witness his own actions. Allow him to kill me so hes the consequence of his rage.

My brother has a great deal more patience for his son then he does me, but his resort to throttling me today makes me think it was already in his mind to do and I believe I provided a preferable surrogate for the child.

I don't know, man. I might be regretting it. I'm calming down now and wondering why did that happen? My brothers reaction was certainly excessive and I believe it has more to do with our relationship than his child.

The issue is too complex to really understand over a forum without going too deeply into our personal realtionships.

When does poor parenting technique become abuse?
Or is this my problem?
I don't even want to confront the question is this the reality of parenting.
Both our parents were abused throughout their childhoods and my brother blames them for his problems. It's fucking disfunctional.
He won't even talk to me about it. Just dismisses our problems by smoking weed.
>> No. 31617 Anonymous
17th February 2022
Thursday 10:53 pm
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>> No. 31618 Anonymous
17th February 2022
Thursday 10:57 pm
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>Essentially I tried to convince him from the room where he was disiplining his child, thinking that the method was sustaining the problem rather than solving it.

You undermined his parenting in front of his son? Even if you were in the right that was never going to go down well.
>> No. 31670 Anonymous
24th April 2022
Sunday 12:28 am
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You confronted somebody being a creep at the pool and you're concerned that *you* are you problem? Chill out OP.


Where did they go? There's nowhere left.


Sounds like you have a good soul but your brother has issues that are too big for you to handle yourself.
>> No. 31671 Anonymous
24th April 2022
Sunday 10:09 pm
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>you're concerned that *you* are you problem?
Well, yeah. It's abnormal behaviour to confront this sort of thing, and the fact that I appear inclined to see child abuse 'everywhere' could show it's an issue in my perception, not reality (but I don't want to convince myself that because the risk feels too great). Do you see what I mean? Not to mention the inversion of all this stuff going on in my mind.

I have a complex; for one reason or another It was charged considerably when I made this thread.
>> No. 31678 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 12:39 am
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Just because it's abnormal doesn't mean it's wrong per se, so long as you handled it tactfully. From the situation you describe it does seem like he was being a bit of a creep and warranted a bit of "what you doing mate?"

>the fact that I appear inclined to see child abuse 'everywhere' could show it's an issue in my perception, not reality

Yes I think you're right. Absolutely everything we observe is passed through the lens of our perception. Many of us have neuroses that cause us to have funky behaviour in certain situations. Talking this through with a mate or therapist or whatever can be very helpful... I find that I can convince myself of all sorts of bullshit when I don't have the opportunity to talk about it with another human being.

If you're feeling a bit cringy after the fact then in future you could have a quick word with a member of staff, then they can decide what that person's conduct amounts to.

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