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>> No. 30904 Anonymous
4th August 2021
Wednesday 1:57 pm
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Going through yet another break-up. I think I'm hardening to it, at this stage.

I'll be honest, the worst part of it from the lad's side is just getting someone to care again. I'm tired of the constant effort it takes to even have the opportunity to date. It's like I have to take all the initiative, all of the rejection, all the risk of making a move, essentially all of the time.

This is only my experience, so it's anecdotal evidence, but I'm just venting on an imageboard and not publishing a sociology study. I'm frustrated that the times in my life that a lass has decided she's interested in me they've variously been passive to the point of non-existent about it (i.e. arseing about with her hair on the other side of the room), or downright obnoxious (i.e. grabbing parts they shouldn't grab), whereas when I want to express my interest I feel like I have to go through a dance of proving my best intentions that, if I'm honest, never really ends throughout the relationship.

I often wish I could just get rid of my libido and need for companionship, because it's that need that's pushing me out there into an arena where the ratio of worthwhile human connection to humiliation and danger is laughably bad.

I'll miss the girl I'm with, but what I'm dreading more is the oncoming cycle of loneliness, complete lack of sexual and physical affection, on top of the expectation that I'm the one that's meant to "Get Out There" and "Make Things Happen" yet again. I just don't know if I have the heart for it, and yet a huge part of myself goes unexpressed when I'm single.

I've sort of tried other "middle grounds" in the past, i.e. dating around, trying short-term relationships, but not only is that unsatisfying, frankly it's a fucking full-time job. Or rather, like working four or five part-time jobs simultaneously.
Expand all images.
>> No. 30905 Anonymous
4th August 2021
Wednesday 2:03 pm
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>frankly it's a fucking full-time job. Or rather, like working four or five part-time jobs simultaneously.
If you're working, you need to make sure you get paid.

https://www.independent.co.uk/asia/east-asia/japan-man-dating-women-gifts-b1836986.html
>> No. 30906 Anonymous
4th August 2021
Wednesday 2:09 pm
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>>30905

I'd just love to know how the fuck he got a 200 GBP suit as a present. My last birthday gift was a set of pens and a visit to her mum's house.
>> No. 30907 Anonymous
4th August 2021
Wednesday 2:11 pm
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That's rough ladmate but it seems like you have a pretty good understanding of your psyche and the way the world works. Currently it all seems way bleaker than it will do in a couple weeks time because you are still responding strongly to the emotional content, this will fade and you'll feel better about get back in the saddle.

Maybe take a bit of time to do self-care (good opportunity to getting back to the gym now that covid restrictions are easing etc). Maybe get along to one of those speed dating events as there are no doubt hordes of horny ladies who have been couped up indoors for a over a year, many of whom have just gotten out of unfulfilling long term relationships.

This post is 90% me trying to pick up my droopy lip after the housemate I was shagging last month has told me that we shall no longer be knocking boots now or at any future time
>> No. 30908 Anonymous
4th August 2021
Wednesday 8:08 pm
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>>34892
>Maybe take a bit of time to do self-care (good opportunity to getting back to the gym now that covid restrictions are easing etc).

Yeah this. OP, take some time to get your life in order first and don't bother jumping straight back into the shark tank for your own sake. Loneliness hurts but begging around like a dog and getting into the first pants that will have you is your worst case scenario.

>Maybe get along to one of those speed dating events as there are no doubt hordes of horny ladies who have been couped up indoors for a over a year, many of whom have just gotten out of unfulfilling long term relationships.

Can confirm this is not the case, it's still as flaky and superficial as always. Partly I think it's a (somewhat justified) cowardice on the part of women-kind however much they actually feel alone. I mean I wouldn't want to get fucked by a bloke either and especially if I had to deal with wolves in sheep's clothing.

>This post is 90% me trying to pick up my droopy lip after the housemate I was shagging last month has told me that we shall no longer be knocking boots now or at any future time

Get out of there before it's too late. Burn your house down and call it self-defence if you have to.
>> No. 30911 Anonymous
6th August 2021
Friday 4:02 pm
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>>30908
>Partly I think it's a (somewhat justified) cowardice on the part of women-kind however much they actually feel alone. I mean I wouldn't want to get fucked by a bloke either and especially if I had to deal with wolves in sheep's clothing.

I appreciate you're trying to take a balanced view, here, but under no circumstances would my "cowardice" ever be viewed as even "somewhat justified", and I really resent the implication that men are wolves by default until they prove otherwise. If you think about it for a second, you should be able to see how viciously sexist that line of thinking is. Lads are human too, after all.

And that was one of the sore points I wanted to express in the OP. I'm really tired of going into every relationship on the backfoot and then having to take a disproportionate responsibility for how well things are going. I just generally feel like I'm jumping through hoops to prove I'm even worth the time.
>> No. 30913 Anonymous
6th August 2021
Friday 7:45 pm
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>>30911
>but under no circumstances would my "cowardice" ever be viewed as even "somewhat justified", and I really resent the implication that men are wolves by default until they prove otherwise.

You're questioning why a woman would be somewhat cautious about opening herself up to an unknown man? Especially when they're literally conditioned to be this way, know full well you'll think less of her for being too keen and has had a pile of other blokes trying to fuck her at any given moment since she turned 12. That goes double on dating apps.

I don't care if you find it sexist. I've personally put up with a lot of shitty women I'd have no interest in were it not for their body and then regretted my logic in post-nut clarity. I now ask myself before I get involved with a woman whether I'd hang out with her if she was a bloke.

>And that was one of the sore points I wanted to express in the OP. I'm really tired of going into every relationship on the backfoot and then having to take a disproportionate responsibility for how well things are going. I just generally feel like I'm jumping through hoops to prove I'm even worth the time.

Tables soon change once you put your dick in her though innit. But yeah the dating game is bullshit, heed the .gs advice of not playing the game - meet women through friends/hobbies. Take this chance to work on yourself.
>> No. 30914 Anonymous
7th August 2021
Saturday 12:06 am
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>>30913

Emo isn't the place to be devil's advocate mate, even if what you were saying was true. Birds have a lot more agency and responsibility than they'd like to admit in why the dating "market" is the way it is. It's just convenient for them that most blokes are happy to play along.

What we can agree on is that the winning move is not to play, but the caveat is it's a much longer search with a much more proactive effort required. Even so it's the last thing OP needs to worry about right now, and he shouldn't even trouble himself thinking about it. That's for another time, and as long as it takes for him to be ready.
>> No. 30915 Anonymous
7th August 2021
Saturday 12:09 am
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>>30914
>Birds have a lot more agency and responsibility than they'd like to admit in why the dating "market" is the way it is.

Yes.

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