I once read a study of how emotional states can induce compulsive behaviours. If I remember correctly, researchers tested whether exposure to pleasant stories, moving and profoundly sad stories, or outrageous and provocative stories induced participants to read further. Almost universally, those participants who experienced strong feelings of irritation continued reading the longest. This seems to corroborate findings that people with OCD experience anger more frequently.
I've realised I'm guilty of this compulsive behaviour, and I'd like to change it. Back in my 20s, I was an angry young man with a lot to prove and a lot of energy to change his life. I was a bit of an arsehole, if I'm honest, but I at least felt I was getting angry about the right things and acting accordingly. Now, my life is good. Genuinely, I worked myself to some early greys and am now kind of blindsided by the fact that these efforts have paid off, and everyday life is... basically nice.
I still have a desire to change things about the world, but now the anger feels scattershot and useless, even a bit precious. Yet, I still find myself fuelling the feelings of irritation, not with real injustices that should be addressed, but with internet garbage and irrelevancies that are embarrassing to even acknowledge. I can reflexively type certain URLs or recall particular memories to get a quick irritation-fix:
- The instagram account of a friend I had a falling out with several years ago. The vain twat still hasn't apologised, so I'll show them (absolute waste of time)
- A subreddit dedicated to work annoyances (possibly slightly more meaningful)
- An ex-girlfriend's Twitter account. Her misinformed and reactionary opinions usually do the trick (also absolute waste of time)
TL;DR: How do I stop the compulsive behaviour of getting my little anger fix? At the very least, can't I focus my feelings of irritation on something more productive?
I've got a girlfriend who regularly pisses me off, but I reckon it's more like I just use her as an anger baiting mechanism, because when I look back on it a lot of the stuff she does isn't actually that bad and I was looking for the excuse to be annoyed. Although sometimes she is a complete prick too, I suppose, so I dunno. It's hard to say. I struggle with telling the difference frankly, and that in itself is something I wish I could resolve- When am I being unreasonable, and when am I justified?
Anyway what helps me is just redirecting my energy into productive things. Anger generally isn't productive. It feels good, it's cathartic to seethe about something and sit there all in a huff and rant to yourself, and make yourself feel like you're the only one who's really sensible in a world full or retards and arseholes. But it really doesn't ever achieve anything. It's more of an outlet valve for emotions that, as a male, you probably don't even have the mechanism to express in other ways.
It's trite and cliche to say pick up the weights, go for a long hard run/bike ride, thrash away on a guitar for a bit, or whatever. But it works. I feel at my best and I get angry less often when I keep myself strictly focussed on a routine of those kinds of things, and I can positively reward myself instead of seeking my little anger hit.
Thank you lad, you've nailed it rather well. I usually get to lifting to release that frustration, but unfortunately I burn myself out on it quite often (rest days are needed, I get nagging injuries., etc.)
I suppose it's all about finding enough healthy outlets to cope.
