Due to a fucked up relationship, fucked up mental health, fucked up finances, and whatever else I've personally managed to fuck up, I have had to move a few hundred miles away from where I hoped I'd be spending the rest of my life to live back with my mum in my "family home."
The place is so much worse than I remember. Here are just a few of the highlights for you:
- No functioning toilet. Get rid of your shit and piss by pouring consecutive jugs of water into the bowl. This has been the case for 8+ years and never been fixed.
- No functioning shower. It "broke" at some point and has been pried off the wall. The tiles around that end of the bath have also been removed and covered with a shower curtain gaffer taped to the remaining tiles to stop the black mold / damp from getting into the bathwater.
- A gaping hole in the ceiling of my old bedroom that leaks during heavy rain. This has been present since I was a child. Thankfully I am not currently in that room as it is full of hoarder trash, now likely water damaged and moldy.
- A hole in the exterior wall into the bedroom I'm currently living in from where my brother tried to DIY an extractor set-up for his weed grow operation a few years before I moved back here. It is currently "sealed" with a pair of old jeans that stop the worst of the draught.
- 2 of 4 bedrooms and the entire dining room filled wall-to-wall and to the ceiling with absolute fucking shite to the point that they are unenterable.
I am an asthmatic and suffer from contact dermatitis so time within these walls is agonising. I've only been back a month and already I've felt my respiratory health deteriorate significantly and had to stave off a skin infection from the awful, awful reactions I've had to the ancient dust and black mold that seem to be caked on to every surface. It is disgusting and I cannot believe that such a fetid shit-hole would be left standing for very long if the Powers That Be caught wind of it.
What's more is that this house was intended as a nest egg by my dad before my parents divorced and my mum ended up getting it. Apparently it was a £70,000 mortgage (bought in 1996) with £40,000 left on it when they split in 2000. Somehow, in 23 years she has not only managed to pay off £15,000 of it but has wiped at least £100,000 off the value just by how derelict it's become.
I don't know what to do but every day that passes with me under this roof saps my energy more and more to get away from it all. I'm going to go insane and die of some exotic disease festering in the walls. Either that or murder her, or myself, or both of us.
Addendum: I don't think there is any solution to this, I just really needed to get it off my chest. I've got no mates and no other means of support in my life at this point. It's the least I could do to just have a whine.
Sucks to hear that mate. I sympathise quite viscerally. You don't realise how important and comforting a clean and hygienic living space is until you are forced to spend time somewhere that isn't.
My experience is nowhere near as severe, but I felt similarly when I had a relationship break down a few years ago and moved back in at my parents. In the years since leaving I'd forgotten just how grubby and unclean and unhygienic in general that house is, like I didn't realise as a kid because you don't have much of a point of reference, and only started to wake up to it as a young adult. Suddenly feeling terribly ashamed for all the times I'd had guests over and what impression it must have given, and how obviously being brought up in that environment explains a lot of my own issues being a weedy, sickly kid, and all the bad habits I had to correct as an adult when I got out on my own two feet.
If it's worth anything you can at least look at all this and assure yourself that it's no wonder your mental health is a state. It's a weight off the mind not to blame yourself for mental health issues.
>>32668 >I'm going to go insane and die of some exotic disease festering in the walls.
I've got pleurisy. How do I burn a house to the ground without getting caught?
>>32688 In a house like that, probably very easily. So easily, in fact, that I am reluctant to tell you in case I get arrested when the house just explodes naturally. But then you'd be homeless and need to move somewhere else, and if you're going to move somewhere else anyway, you might as well do so now without sabotaging the utilities. Do you have any friends with a spare room?
