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>> No. 3653 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 5:26 am
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I've just pissed the bed. Proper pissed the bed. I've left my other half, still fast asleep, in pissed soaked sheets while I've slunk off to the living room, wrapped in a blanket and shame.

I didn't drink a great deal yesterday and I went for a wee before going to bed, so I'm not sure what else I can do. I had a dream which I think tied in with me pissing, but I woke up after the event and too late to do anything about it. I've pissed in my sleep before, but it's too infrequent to worry about and is usually such a little dribble that I could lie to myself and say it was spunk; this is the first time I've blasted the bed, and all of my bedclothes, with loads of piss.
Expand all images.
>> No. 3654 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 6:21 am
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>>3653
You've got problems mate. I would clamp the tip of my cock if I were you.
>> No. 3655 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 7:31 am
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Must be nice. I was woken up tonight by a kidney stone, the pain and jerking to wide awake was such a shock to my system that I have started shitting liquid.
>> No. 3656 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 7:41 am
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There are better ways to ask your partner if they're into water sports, mate.

Are they awake yet?
>> No. 3657 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 8:43 am
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>>3653
Just blame it on her fanny. Tell her you can't piss while you have a hard-on, and that watching her piss herself meant that you had a hard-on that lasted for eight hours.
>> No. 3658 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 9:11 am
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>>3656
She woke up about half 8, but she's a heavy sleeper and doesn't have a brilliant sense of smell so I don't think she's smelt or felt it.

All I need to do is wash my pissy bedclothes and the bedding and I'm in the clear, but how do I not piss the bed again? Obviously I'm a small child.
>> No. 3659 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 9:42 am
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Bit embarrassing for me to admit, but sometimes this happens to me.

Roughly once a year, since about the age of 16, I've pissed the bed. I can't work out why, it's never when I've drank a lot or whatever, it will just happen, and it always follows the same routine.

I dream something is going on and that I need to do something but have a piss first. I have a piss in my dream and just as I'm finished I'll wake up and realise it was real.

I don't want to go to the doctors but I have no idea why the fuck it happens as an otherwise healthy lad.
>> No. 3660 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 10:17 am
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>>3658

Get a nappy, no shame in it, astronauts wear them, and astronauts are cool.
>> No. 3661 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 10:27 am
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>>3660
That's straying dangerously into >>/iq/55030 territory. Slippery slope.
>> No. 3663 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 3:03 pm
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>>3661

and this post is straying dangerously close to >>/shed/13568. Closet crayfish.
>> No. 3664 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 4:28 pm
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Waterproof mattress protector. You can mention it to your GP if you like but the fact that both of you are dreaming while urinating suggests your brain is just getting a wee (heh) bit confused about releasing your bladder taps. If it's that irregular (less than once every 6 months) then I wouldn't worry about it. If it makes you feel any better, I've had numerous close calls rushing home to try and make it to the toilet, and did once wet myself on my mum's kitchen floor. I have a history of rampant ketamine usage though, so I've always blamed any bladder difficulties on that.
>> No. 3665 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 5:27 pm
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Have you been under allot of stress lately, perhaps from your parents or Mrs noncing you?

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 3666 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 5:37 pm
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A drug called desmopressin reduces urine production and is used to preventing bedwetting. Ask your GP about it.
>> No. 3667 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 5:56 pm
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>>3665

Can we have just one fucking thread without noncing. It's almost Christmas.
>> No. 3668 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 6:09 pm
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>>3667
>It's almost Christmas.

The time for gift givers and receivers?
>> No. 3669 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 6:21 pm
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>>3668
Positively.
>> No. 3670 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 6:46 pm
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I too suffer from occasional nocturnal enuresis, OP. To prevent it I've started making sure I go to sleep on an empty bladder.

Like you and >>3659, it will almost always occur when I'm in a dream and feel like I need to wee, and then wake up and find I've done it for real.

Once, I needed to wee and thought that I'd better check that I wasn't in a dream first, and then started weeing once I was satisfied I was awake... and then woke up.

It's so utterly frustrating and embarrassing. The nightmare is when it inevitably happens whilst I have a bird in my bed.
>> No. 3671 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 7:45 pm
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I occasionally get up and piss up the wall if I'm too drunk but otherwise this never happens to me, thank fuck.
>> No. 3672 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 9:48 pm
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>>3671

Yes, that's much less embarrassing.

"I'll give you the tour. This is our spare room and just along here is the wall I blast with piss occasionally while pissed. Yeah, best not to stand here either..."
>> No. 3673 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 10:03 pm
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>>3671
I once accidentally got up, sleepwalked and pissed on a mate. Two other mates watched this with great amusement. In fact only one of them was awake, but he knew what was going to happen so woke the other up saying "Watch this".

I awoke halfway through the act. I found it hilarious as well. The lad who had been pissed on less so.
>> No. 3674 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 11:20 pm
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>>3671

It's better than posing in the laundry basket, but for fuck's sake, get an amphora.
>> No. 3675 Anonymous
16th December 2015
Wednesday 11:21 pm
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>>3674

I mean pissing, not posing. My phone deleted all my swear words and now I have to manually re-add them.
>> No. 3676 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 12:18 am
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>>3672
It's easy to clean up in the morning and I don't have to sleep in it.

I'm not sure what use an amphora would be but a chamberpot might be sensible.
>> No. 3677 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 7:15 am
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Good news, lads. I didn't piss myself last night.
>> No. 3678 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 9:37 am
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>>3677
Put a gold star on your wall chart.
>> No. 3679 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 10:09 am
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>>3678
What do I get when I have 10 gold stars?
>> No. 3680 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 10:11 am
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>>3679

The ultimate sign of mastery.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 3681 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 11:39 am
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>>3680

Lad.
>> No. 3682 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 1:01 pm
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>>3679
Big boy pants. And a lingering thought that nappies might be comfier than waking up in a swamp?
>> No. 3683 Anonymous
17th December 2015
Thursday 4:09 pm
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>>3682
Adults in nappies reminds me of the Teletubbies. Did they actually soil themselves or were they for aesthetic purposes?
>> No. 3722 Anonymous
25th January 2016
Monday 6:46 am
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OP here, I woke up damp again this morning. Fortunately I'm 99% sure it was jizz on this occasion, as I was having a sex dream at the time.
>> No. 3723 Anonymous
25th January 2016
Monday 9:31 am
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>>3722

You should be able to tell for sure from the smell.
>> No. 3925 Anonymous
19th October 2016
Wednesday 6:54 am
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It happened again last night, albeit not much more than a trickle. Fortunately it only wet my pyjama bottoms and they dried relatively quickly. The thing is, I'd pissed in my dream, including making the active decision in it whether to piss or not, but then I woke up and I'd pissed in real life too.
>> No. 3926 Anonymous
19th October 2016
Wednesday 10:51 am
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>>3925
Pyjama bottoms? How old are you?
>> No. 3927 Anonymous
19th October 2016
Wednesday 11:52 am
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>>3926
It's cold weather.
>> No. 3928 Anonymous
19th October 2016
Wednesday 12:00 pm
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>>3925
You sound disgusting. Scum.
>> No. 3929 Anonymous
19th October 2016
Wednesday 12:27 pm
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>>3925
How old are you now? Have you had your prostate checked yet?
>> No. 3930 Anonymous
19th October 2016
Wednesday 8:48 pm
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I don't really have any advice to offer, but I can imagine it must be awful waiting for that spinning top to fall over every time you need to go for a piss.
>> No. 3931 Anonymous
20th October 2016
Thursday 6:54 am
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>>3929
30 and no.
>> No. 3932 Anonymous
20th October 2016
Thursday 6:11 pm
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>>3931
Best make an appointment at the GP then, hadn't you.
>> No. 3933 Anonymous
20th October 2016
Thursday 7:05 pm
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I pissed in a mates living room earlier this year. I'd been drinking a lot, I was asleep on the sofa and another friend on the floor. I got up in the dark, he asked what I was doing, and apparently I said "not pissing in the river." He thought I was joking, but then I really did start to piss, so he was shouting that I should stop it, and I kept saying "I'm not even pissing," then he shouted our mutual friend and I woke up mid-stream. I tried to do the same thing a couple of months later and found out why you don't wake up sleepwalkers. I started throwing punches at him, don't remember that though (cos I was asleep, obviously) and it turned into a full fight. So I just woke up in the middle of a fight.

Still got the better of him though.

Also, about ten years ago I did it at an ex-girlfriends house, again after a lot of alcohol that evening, but unique to this incident, it was all over he dads clothes which were drying on a clothes horse. He wasn't happy.
>> No. 3935 Anonymous
20th October 2016
Thursday 7:16 pm
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>>3653
Jokes aside though, the real question you should be asking is why you didn't *at the very least* piss on her tits. I understand that you were asleep, so a proper arse-pissing would be a tricky manoeuvre - but come on.
>> No. 4536 Anonymous
20th June 2018
Wednesday 3:50 am
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It's happened again, the first time in about 20 months.

On this occasion I can't recall what I was dreaming about, so it's not the scenario of what's happened previously where I've pissed in a dream and it's actually happened in real life and I don't think it was preceded by a wet dream either.

I think it's because I didn't go for a wee immediately before going to sleep. Fortunately it was a relatively small trickle, but enough to dampen my bed clothes and the bedsheets a little, as I needed a monster piss when I woke up.
>> No. 4537 Anonymous
20th June 2018
Wednesday 10:03 am
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>>4536
Is the Mrs into water sports after all that?

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