Sounds like it could be trapped wind. Pop into the chemist for some fart pills and on the way back pick up a cheap disposable trumpet to make your evening more interesting.

If you're a bit nervous about going to the chemist then pick up some Peppermint Tea.

>>3859

>About two weeks ago I started to swell and it just gets worse
>I am now in severe physical discomfort
>my diet changed a couple of weeks ago

Lad. Why are you even asking us, you've already answered yourself? Change your diet back to how it was before.

>>3859
>>3861

I got the idea that OP had just recently moved back to Blighty after a couple of years in a civilization, hence the sudden diet change.

OP, try taking the wheat and dairy back out of your diet then phasing them back in slowly. I'm no "wheat and dairy" are bad you for crazy, but bread and beer in particular make my stomach bloat out like crazy.

PS: If you're eating more meat and dairy than usual it's also quite possible that you're simply "backed up".

>>3859

Liver failure.

Lay off the veggies and carbs, eat plenty of protein, take tylenol for discomfort. Should go away after a bit.

>>3863
We call it paracetamol over here, now begone you filthy dipsomaniac yank-troll.

>>3863

>Lay off the veggies and carbs, eat plenty of protein

Hmmm....now should I take medical advice from the Interwebz posted by some retard septic, or follow my doctor's almost completely opposing advice. I wonder...

>>3864

Tylenol is a brand name, yanks call paracetamol acetaminophen.

>>3872

Have you ever noticed how Yanks call everything by its most common brand name? e.g saran wrap instead of cling film, scotch tape for sellotape, sharpie instead of marker, etc.

>>3873

Hoover
Vaseline
Tupperware
Rawlplug
Jaffacakes
Stanley knife


I agree it's much more common in America, but we're not exactly innocent.

>>3874

Are there non-jaffacake jaffacakes ?

>>3875
Supermarkets sell own-brand jaffacakes but they still call them jaffacakes.

>>3876
Do they have a non-brand name, then?

>>3877
The name was never registered as a trademark, and so everyone calls them Jaffa cakes.

>>3878
Furthermore, there is a fucking space in it as it is two words you utter plebs.

>>3873
>>3874

Sellotape is actually a brand name too.

Sage for being too know it all for my own good.

>>3872
No yank has ever woken up hungover and asked around for some acetaminophen you pedantic daftie.

>>3881

That's because yanks drink like poofs.

Also to double-pedant I'd like to point out that anyone taking paracetamol for a hangover instead of aspirin is a fucking mong anyway.

>>3881

Also I'm sure that plenty of us wake up hungover and ask for a Nurofen rather than a paracetamol.

Honestly though the whole generic aspirin, paracetamol thing is quite particular to the UK. If you go abroad (Europe and the US at least) you're almost exclusively offered expensive brand name stuff, to the point where I often travel with a few boxes of Superdrug brand paracetamol / ibuprofen / aspirin with me if I'm going to be away for more than a month or two.

>>3882
I thought Ibuprofen was the one that doesn't really help very much with hangovers?

My Nan never learnt to pronounce Ibuprofen apparently, so she calls it 'Ibufen' instead bless her.

>>3884
Paracetamol stresses your liver (when used properly, this is not much of an issue in an otherwise healthy person), so if you drop it on a hangover you're stressing and already stressed liver. It's an incredibly forgiving organ, but it's still not a great idea.

>>3885
Do all drugs not stress your liver to an extent though? Why would aspirin be any better?

>>3884
The swelling in your head, caused largely by dehydration, is part of what makes hangovers so bad. Ibuprofen is an anti-inflammatory and reduces that swelling.

At least, that's my understanding (I'm no chemist, just repeating what I've read elsewhere); it's certainly helped me out on a good few hangovers though.

Am I the only one thinking that after the sorts of night out I have, a couple of painkillers is the least of my worries?

>>3884

For some reason my parents both call it "brufen". My mum should know better, she's a fucking nurse.

>>3888

Brufen was the first trade name for ibuprofen. It was under patent until the mid-80s, so all ibuprofen was branded as brufen until then. A lot of older medical professionals never got out of the habit of using the proprietary name.

Younger medical professionals are trained to always use the generic name, mainly for cost reasons - if the generic name is used on a prescription, the pharmacist can dispense whatever is cheapest.