|>>|| No. 24480
There's also the completely legal sites if you want like Smashwords, and Lulu and Amazon. This free horror novel garnered 151, largely positive, reviews on Amazon and it's soooooooo bad.
This is one of the very few reviews which is representative of the experience of actually reading it.
>I'll admit I downloaded "Surviving the Fog" on the strength of it's reviews from other readers however I'm highly sceptical as to how genuine they are. The problems with this story are evident from the very beginning and unfortunately they run throughout.
>The story begins with a prologue that commits the cardinal sin of creating a false suspense by writing about the "thing" without actually describing it. This method could have been achieved much better and leaves the reader no better off. They have not been given a taster of what is to come and the first line hook fails miserably.
>That being said I was hopeful the rest of the story was better constructed however I was rather short sighted. The main story was just as bad and it was completely evident from the woeful first chapters. The story doesn't flow whatsoever and seems to jump at irragular points. One of the worst examples of this was a section where the lead character simply goes to bed because there was nothing else worth writing about. The next line (no break in story or anything, just a new paragraph!) begins "the next morning he awoke late". Nothing else worth saying?? Another puzzling example directly quoted "he walked downstream until he was opposite the bales of hay that were used for archery practice. He stared thoughtfully at the bales for sometime and then he walked back to the dining hall". This passage had no significance on anything that was to follow and again just felt like filler and was a painful example of blow by blow low value writing.
>Another passage that had me shaking my head in disbelief was one that depicted a huge jump in time. One character leaves the camp to find help, the children make spears then 6 days later the character returns. This happened in the space of two or three lines and felt simply awful.
>On to the characters. All the characters are linear and could have been carbon copies of each other. They are so one-dimensional that you lose interest in them almost instantly. The dialogue is particularly poor and they do not converse like regular teenagers would. It's all very cliche.
>One particularly annoying occurance was the constant desription of the location. Description is essential to progress a story but to endlessly list items in a room that are of no interest whatsoever to the story is just bad writing. i counted one section where 22 lines were written where a cabin was decribed at length, only for it to be used as a house for a radio. The radio was picked up and the scene left. It seemed like such a waste of narrative to describe all this when it had no value to the scene. It's like picking up a menu in a restaurant. You want a brief description of the food, but you dont need to know what time it was bought, what cooker it was make in, whhere the plates came from and what dishwasher powder was used to clean the knives and forkes. It makes the story boring and the additional lines are unneccessary.
>The are lots of annoying traits within the writing itself too. It's ok to use "he said" after most passages of speech. However in the first couple of pages characters had answered, asked, hazarded guesses, suggested, muttered, argued, replied, repeated, growled, exclaimed and even groused (?!). It's a classic case of trying to tell the reader how the customer is speaking because the dialogue itself is ineffective. The phrase "something is wrong" is way over used too. I felt like shouting out "We get the point something is wrong!!" The fact that there are too many cliches and that every character is described by their haircut doesn't help give the book any professional feel. It's like the writer believes the whole story will fail if we don't know what colour and style of hair character A or B has.
>The first chapter came to a long overdue end with a HUGE passage off contant dialogue where everything and nothing is discussed. The conversations just go on forever but nothing of any interest is really discussed or concluded.
>Overall the writing seems very basic and amateur. It is obvious that little or no effort has gone into editing this story as simply reading the first chapter out loud you can pick up on a whole raft of serious flaws.
>On to those "reader reviews". As mentioned before I am deeply sceptical about these. The story was so poor that the amount of 5* reviews is highly suspicious. Quoting from one it was "a compelling, well crafted mini masterpiece. Exceptionally well written, absorbing and interesting". Were we reading the same book!?! Another likened the story to the master of the genre, Stephen King which is truely the final insult.
>However one review did hit the nail on the head perfectly - "Free does not mean good value, the time spent reading a bad book comes out of your life just as if it were a good book." I couldn't have said it better myself.