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>> No. 13535 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 9:29 am
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Take the government retraining quiz and post results.

I got Microbrewer, Non-distructive Testing Technician and professional sportsman.

https://beta.nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/
Expand all images.
>> No. 13536 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 9:34 am
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I already did a few weeks ago and got creative media or whatever. If I wasn't so lazy and stupid I'd probably be doing alright.
>> No. 13537 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 9:52 am
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My top results were in manufacturing - brewery, rail engineer, testing technician and working in a meat factory. I'm not a handy person at all.

It suggested my girlfriend be a stunt double when she's the least athletic person I know.
>> No. 13538 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 10:31 am
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My top results in each category were actor, helicopter pilot, magistrate, aromatherapist, sports professional, order picker, celebrant, carpet fitter/floor layer, insurance loss adjuster, and information scientist.
>> No. 13539 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 11:30 am
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I got my own career so that's nice. Let's hope I never get fired for spending my morning dossing on some test.

Something that surprised me was seeing how many careers bottom out at 50k and under which is still good money but fuck all in terms of being at the summit of a life's work. I would've assumed at least thought Office Manager would pay more than 35k given how much responsibility it entails.

To me it points to a problem when it comes to us being a low-wage economy - why bother?
>> No. 13540 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 11:35 am
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Profile says I enjoy working and engaging with the public, so it recommended I retrain as a chef - i.e. long, unsociable hours where you only rarely meet a member of the public, and rely on amphetamines, coke and drinks from the bar to cope.
>> No. 13541 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 12:15 pm
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I got creative media --> actor, which is ironic considering they are telling anyone in creative media to retrain.
>> No. 13542 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 12:22 pm
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Somehow it suggested my actual job.
>> No. 13543 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 12:25 pm
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How the fuck do you answer these things? The questions are so vague, I'm ticking "It depends" for each one because I can see the situation going either way. For instance I don't mind working with numbers, but if I'm stuck in front of a screen with Excel all day I'd kill myself.
>> No. 13544 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 12:44 pm
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>>13543
A few of them are useless - only sociopaths would strongly disagree with "I want to make things better for people". There's a similar problem with "I will get involved if I think I can help", and I'm not sure what the converse of "I like to get to the centre of the issue" is supposed to be - wasting time on the irrelevant bits, I suppose.
>> No. 13545 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 1:02 pm
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It crashes about halfway through, every time I try to take it.
>> No. 13546 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 1:23 pm
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I got told that they couldn't find any jobs based on my answers, so the best they could suggest was to go back and make sure they were all correct.
>> No. 13547 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 3:47 pm
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Are there a lot of vacancies for film critics?

To be fair they did recommend my actual job under the "Computing, technology and digital" category, so maybe I should start reviewing films. It's not like they've stopped making new films, have they? Oh.

>>13544

>only sociopaths would strongly disagree with "I want to make things better for people"

The world needs lawyers and bankers.
>> No. 13548 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 4:52 pm
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>>13535

I got head chef, technical architect, and office manager. I'm a bit offended at the last one, but as I was a chef for many years and now am in a technical, operational role (though not in IT), I have to say for once the government has got something right.

Though they also suggested football referee and aromatherapist, so who the fuck knows.
>> No. 13549 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 4:54 pm
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>>13544

>not sure what the converse of "I like to get to the centre of the issue" is supposed to be

I took that to mean either wanting to understand the whole problem vs "if it works, it works". Presumably anyone who chooses the latter would be a good fit for middle management or purchasing.
>> No. 13550 Anonymous
12th October 2020
Monday 4:56 pm
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I went through it being as difficult and contradictory a person as I could ("I love to plan my day out", "I hate to follow rules/a routine")and got the same as >>13546
>> No. 13551 Anonymous
13th October 2020
Tuesday 12:22 am
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As someone who got the managerial profession allow me to explain your answers:

>>13545
Test and Trace application developer.

>>13550
>>13546
Career unemployment. Be sure to look and behave like an animal to discourage the workforce from complaining of their position.

>>13547
You could review classic movies for Talking Pictures TV or just set up a patreon and do it through youtube. There's probably a need for someone to find all the gems of old.

Get started:


And make us a thread on classic spooky stories for the season.

>>13548
>Though they also suggested football referee and aromatherapist, so who the fuck knows.

A petty tyrant who likes the smell of his own farts is a rough description of .gs
>> No. 13552 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 10:01 pm
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>>13535
That looks like Jez & Ed, a pair of detectives who sort it out proper. Ed is about to nut the bloke in the puffa jacket.
>> No. 13553 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 10:24 pm
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>>13541
>>13539
Surely the most fucking ridiculous thing about this is that the government is suggesting that people do this without offering a single thing to help people into any of these jobs.

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