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|>>|| No. 5761
I'm running low on ideas of what to read to my son . We're working our way through the Mr Gum books and if I can't think of something when we're finished my other half will probably subject him to Enid Blyton. We've read The Hobbit and all of Ronald Dahl's books for children but I don't know where to go next, possibly Harry Potter (although I've never read them so I don't know what they're like) or maybe something by Terry Deary as he's obsessed with ancient Egypt. Goosebumps?
I'd be grateful for any tips. Any books you were particularly fond of from your childhood?
|>>|| No. 5762
The Bartimaeus Trilogy will be beyond him at the minute but one day he'll fucking love it. Same (perhaps) for Pratchett's Diggers, Truckers and Wings.
|>>|| No. 5763
I suggest the Artemis Fowl series, I still enjoy them. Lord of the Rings isn't too far away either, I read it myself as a 10 year old.
Harry Potter books are all right, they wont make you want to blow your brains out at least.
The King's Blades series by Dave Duncan are maybe a bit mature, but I loved them as a kid. It has a bit of shagging here and there and copious amounts of awesome knights doing awesome stuff, which I loved.
Have you considered His Dark Materials series? Northern Lights, etc.
|>>|| No. 5765
These were magical for me, no pun intended. I don't know why you're against are Enid. I've heard bad things about Terry Deary on .gs, but I always enjoyed the Horrible Histories books.
I'd suggest these, I really enjoyed them. You might want to check them out before you start reading them with your son though, some of the themes are violent. That's according to wikipedia, I don't remember anything too bad in them. There might have been one where the protagonists were nearly burned at the stake as witches or summat, but that's about it.
|>>|| No. 5766
Harry Potter is good, and you'll likely find yourself getting interested in the story after the second or third book. I might hold off on hitting the end of the series until your child is older, but by the time you've gotten through to Goblet Of Fire they should be able to cope.
You should definitely, definitely read him Horrible Histories and related series (there's some science and technology ones done in the same vein). They're not stories but it's always good to try and capture their imagination with these otherwise "dry" subjects before they hit them at secondary school.
You may also enjoy the Artemis Fowl series, they're quite pithy. Others by Eoin Colfer might be a bit above your kid (they're more 10+ years kinds of books) but I don't doubt your child is smart and would still enjoy that kind of adventure story. There's also the Alex Rider books - they're a bit like watered down James Bond adventures for the modern child.
The Lemony Snicket/A Series Of Unfortunate Events I also remember enjoying around that age, and until I was about 13/14 too. I tended to read quite above my age as a child (I was onto YA fiction and LOTR by my tweens) so you might need to adjust based on your son's development.
He will almost certainly be entranced by the Lynne Reid Banks series The Indian In The Cupboard. They're fantastic. A must-read for kids that age.
I similarly remember enjoying going through my dad's copies of Just William stories. They're a bit antiquated and you might need to explain this to your lad but they're good fun too.
I'll update more as I think of them, I hope this starts you off. If I had to pick one in my list the begin with, it'd be the Indian In The Cupboard. It's just a glorious, glorious series. Anyone who didn't experience it in their childhoods has missed out on something beautiful in the pantheon of classic children's literature. Please expose him to it while he's still young enough to truly be lost in the fantastical.
|>>|| No. 5767
Is he too old for The Phantom Tollbooth? The answer to that is probably no. If he liked The Hobbit you might try Phantastes by George MacDonald. It's preferable to C.S. Lewis, at least. Some things by H.G. Wells are on a similar level to The Hobbit, as is The Tripod Trilogy and even the HHGTTG, if you don't mind him hearing about drinking. Stig of The Dump? Swallows and Amazons?
|>>|| No. 5768
Definitely, then when OP has finished reading that to him, he could help him create his first fursona as a father-son project.
|>>|| No. 5770
Oh christ, I can't believe I left Pullman off the list. It's a great introduction into why to not trust organised religion. It should be required reading for all schoolchildren imo. +1 on that suggestion.
On that vein, it's never too early to read them Lord Of The Flies. Animal Farm too. Well, maybe wait until he's 10 or so. I read them around that age and Animal Farm especially made a distinct impression on me.
|>>|| No. 5771
This series is also worth a crack. It might be a bit confusing and high-brow for a 7 year old (it's basically a fantasy re-imagining of 1984) but it's quite absorbing. Mudnuts!
|>>|| No. 5772
>Same (perhaps) for Pratchett's Diggers, Truckers and Wings.
We had Diggers somewhere, but I can't say that I've seen it since we moved house. I was planning on giving him my Discworld novels when he's a bit older.
Thanks, lad. I have the His Dark Materials trilogy, but I was planning on holding them back for a few years. However I've got most of the Sally Lockhart books so he may be ready for them.
I can't comment on The Faraway Tree series but the Famous Five, Secret Seven, etc. books we've got are dire (actually, the
Five Find-Outers books are alright); always the same dull opening chapters about meeting up for the school holidays, a few chapters where they call each other asses and idiots, the odd chapter where she's forgotten the name of the cook or one of the other characters and starts calling them something else and a chapter or two about suspicious looking foreigners. At least they're not as bad as Horrid Henry.
|>>|| No. 5773
Oh fuck Artemis Fowl is great.
Can I please stress the Bartimaeus trilogy for later, it was easily my favourite book as a child. I might reread it actually.
Never liked them.
|>>|| No. 5774
There was a book I read as a child about a few dogs stranded on an island having come off a fishing boat. I can't for the life of me find what it is.
|>>|| No. 5775
I'd disagree with the lad who suggested LOTR since he's seven, but he might be ready for The Hobbit and Tolkein's other shorter bits like Farmer Giles of Ham.
|>>|| No. 5777
Read him the nightly ramblings of .gs of course!
I can't really offer any good advice because I was basically illiterate until year 6.
I know what you mean. The first "proper" book I read was about a millipede and his mum getting smoked out of his home, but I can't remember the name at all.
|>>|| No. 5778
Ah, sorry, had beers this evening. What about Charlotte's Web, Watership Down (though don't let him watch the cartoon) or Lloyd Alexander's Chronicles of Prydain series? I remember enjoying those around OP's lad's age, and I think they're all still in print.
|>>|| No. 5779
>The Lemony Snicket/A Series Of Unfortunate Events I also remember enjoying around that age, and until I was about 13/14 too.
I didn't discover the series until my late twenties and I thought it was very witty.
>Is he too old for The Phantom Tollbooth? The answer to that is probably no.
Heck no. Some of those puns would go way over kids' heads.
The above are my two biggest recommendations.
A Boy and a Bear and a Boat is pretty decent and there's a lot of issue fiction like My Sister Lives On The Mantelpiece, When I Was Joe and R.J. Palacio's Wonder. The latter two are great but might be a little old for him.
I enjoyed Arthur C. Clarke's Dolphin Island as a kid but I had to skip the first couple of chapters. There's this peculiar thing where he drastically changed his prose style after those, like he's just remembered what age bracket he's meant to be writing for.
I liked The Class That Went Wild, A Cat Called Amnesia and Aliens In The Family.
The London Eye Mystery is good too. So are Louis Sachar's.
|>>|| No. 5781
Excuse my ignorance but is seven not old enough to begin solo reading? I know I was devouring Horrible Histories at that age, though I was perhaps advanced.
|>>|| No. 5782
Any book is appropriate for anyone of any age to read. I was reading geology and astronomy books on my own by the time I was seven and could program in basic BASIC using the Amstrad CPC 464 manual. Children are smarter than adults. Don't hold them back.
|>>|| No. 5783
>Any book is appropriate for anyone of any age to read.
I don't know. He might be a bit bemused if you read him Story of the Eye.
|>>|| No. 5784
He will devour a book if it's something he's interested in (Ancient Egypt, space, dragons, nature, etc.) but during the week the usual routine is that he'll read his school book to me and then I'll read him a few chapters. I've read authors say that too many parents punish their children for learning to read by stopping reading to them altogether, plus I like reading to him.
I might have a look at the Ronald Dahl Funny Prize, although I'm sure David Williams has won it and I didn't think much of Mr Stink and Gangsta Granny when we read those.
|>>|| No. 5785
Try the How To Train Your Dragon series of books. They are pretty much nothing to do with the films and have a wit and charm lacking in the Hollywood version.
My boy is just turned 7 and he loves them. You can pick up a dozen of them in a box set for about £35.
|>>|| No. 5786
You seem to be forgetting the important bonding time that exists when parents and children read together. Perhaps you missed out on it in your childhood, but I can still recall every line of Cops and Robbers thanks to my father tirelessly reading it to me what felt like every night when I was a youngun. It's one of my most distinct memories from that age, and my dad still - when prompted - can start reciting the verses with me, and I can tell he enjoys doing so as for a brief moment he remembers me as his 2 year old rapscallion and not the young adult with voting privileges and council tax that I now am.
These things are important, trust me.
|>>|| No. 5787
> I read them around that age and Animal Farm especially made a distinct impression on me.
Eh, you too?
I remember stumbling upon the book about child upbringing. Opened my fucking eyes regarding all those adult trickery.
|>>|| No. 5937
OP here, I've picked up Artemis Fowl today so I'll let you know what
I he thinks of it after he's finished reading The Story of Matthew Buzzington to me.
|>>|| No. 5939
Can't agree more, although it brings up sad memories as well as it reminds me of a time when my father wasn't such a cynical, work orientated selfish prick.
I don't want to bang on about the internet and so on, but it has driven a massive wedge between families. If I ever have kids I'll make reading to them paramount.
Sage for emo tripe
|>>|| No. 5940
Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing et al. are good to read to kids because putting on a small child's voice when reading Fudge's dialogue is fun.
|>>|| No. 5984
>so I'll let you know what he thinks of it after he's finished reading The Story of Matthew Buzzington to me.
We've read a few of them, they're brilliant. Sorry, lads, a bit late with an update here. We've just finished Alex, the Dog and the Unopenable Door and now we're working through Circus of Thieves and the Raffle of Doom.
|>>|| No. 5987
Please, let him work through the Goosebumps when he gets slightly older.
I'm still damaged from that TV episode where the protagonist went all "IF YOU CAN'T BEAT EM, JOIN EM".
|>>|| No. 5988
When I read this I expected to find a reference to your son labelled 7...
|>>|| No. 5989
>>5761 Try the edge chronicles, rarely see them mentioned but they have pirates alchemy, airships, goblins, an odd world on the edge of the world, definitely worth reading if he's into action and some fairly magestic fantasy stories it's worth reading, also inkspell, inkheart. and the boy in striped pyjamas (although the modification to fuhrer and Auschwitz piss me off a bit)
|>>|| No. 5990
>>5989 also the adrien mole books are fairly fun, not sure how well they translate for the modern generation but great books anyway...
(A good day to you Sir!)
|>>|| No. 6185
I'd forgotten how sinister the Thomas the Tank Engine series was until I read Bulstrode to my daughter last night. Bulstrode was complaining at the docks while waiting go get loaded up and when Percy finally arrives the trucks are cheeky little shits whom end up falling off the docks into Bulstrode. They decide to make an example of Bulstrode by leaving him stranded on a beach to get covered in bird shit.
|>>|| No. 6186
It seems ever so slightly cruel to ban someone for poor grammar in a thread about children's books.
|>>|| No. 6187
You're doing your child a great disservice if you don't try something from The Edge Chronicles.
It's what got me started on reading as a kid and I'll never forget how great the book was in opening up my mind and giving me a creative freedom like no other book had.
It has scattered illustrations to help create a picture, but not too many so you can keep your mind solely focused upon the books.
I didn't read them all, but I read The Last of the Sky Pirates, which is part of a trilogy in the series, as they are all broken down into sets of three.
Start on Last of the Sky Pirates man, it is something I'll forever be fond of and remember.
|>>|| No. 6189
My nephew got this for Christmas in about 2003 when train crashes had been in the news a lot. It contained this video
which seemed rather dark, especially the bloodbath at 00:30.
|>>|| No. 6190
The crashes are fairly tame, apart from perhaps the train drivers having mental breakdowns due to having to work with engines that have minds of their own and not infrequently come off the rails.
It's nothing compared to the tyranny of Sodor. Henry getting bricked up in a tunnel for not wanting to go out in the rain. Smudger getting turned into a generator for demonstrating independent thought and nonconformity. Stepney nearly getting murdered by a pair of diesels just for being a steamy. If you don't prove yourself to be a Really Useful Engine then you are in for it.
|>>|| No. 6191
This picture reminds me, better let the cat out of Cat Jail. Half and hour is long enough.
|>>|| No. 6192
>Not reading your children British Empire history
Why not? Educational, fun, interesting, related to life. He will be a mile ahead of all his class mates in history and understanding the world
(A good day to you Sir!)
|>>|| No. 6233
OP here, we're working our way through Narnia. I'd forgotten how much casual sexism is in them.
>The first "proper" book I read was about a millipede and his mum getting smoked out of his home, but I can't remember the name at all.
Harry the Poisonous Centipede? We read that a few months back, although I only get about half the story because he'll read a few chapters himself each night.
|>>|| No. 6234
Brace yourself for more dolphin rape than you remember when the Calormenes start popping up.
|>>|| No. 6265
We've just finished The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Does Aslan turn out to be Jesus? The ending of the book suggests that religion is going to be laid on rather thickly at some point during the final two novels.
|>>|| No. 6266
Aslan is obv. a Christian analogue but as far as I recall there is no direct reference to religion.
|>>|| No. 6267
Aslan is Jesus, there are various Christian themes and parallells in most of them, and later books introduce Tash, the Calormene god. Since the Calormenes are obvious Arab stereotypes, it's ambiguous if Tash is an analogue for Allah or simply a pagan deity; The Last Battle makes it fairly clear that Tash is Satan as I recall, so make of that what you will.
|>>|| No. 6268
Well done, OP. You've read your kid the Narnia novels, and thus brought a wee little ARE SI into the world.
Thanks for reminding me about Harry the Poisonous Centipede though, I missed that post the first time around so thanks whoever bumped the thread too.
|>>|| No. 6269
>You've read your kid the Narnia novels, and thus brought a wee little ARE SI into the world.
It wouldn't actually surprise me if there was a link between reading Enid Blyton as a child and supporting UKIP. Blooming suspicious looking foreigners, always up to no good.
|>>|| No. 6278
Most of the way through The Last Battle, although I'm only getting half the story as he'll read a chapter or two to himself after I've read to him. In the last chapter I read the dwarfs started calling the Calormenes darkies.
|>>|| No. 6613
OP here again, lads.
Laddo is now 10 and still obsessed with ancient mythology, particularly Greek. He's just finished reading the Percy Jackson pentalogy, which he managed in around a fortnight. Are there any books in a similar vein that you'd recommend? I've got the Penguin Little Black Classic of The Fall of Icarus so I may see what he thinks of that; the prose seems fairly accessible.
|>>|| No. 6615
For Greek stuff, Robert Graves is pretty great. If he's still into it in 8 years, you can move him onto Roberto Calasso. For want of anything else to add, the Gaiman book of Norse mythology is pretty decent.
Further moving away from the Greeks, maybe the Alex Rider series by Horowitz or Bloodtide and Bloodsong by Burgess.
|>>|| No. 6616
10 eh? You gonna start him on Animal Farm and all that stuff mentioned above?
If not, at least give him Boris the Tomato. I love reading it even as an adult, both because it's actually quite hilarious and a great satire of totalitarian fascism.
|>>|| No. 6617
You might try "Wolf Brother" and the series Chronicles of Ancient Darkness by Michelle Paver.
|>>|| No. 6618
>You gonna start him on Animal Farm and all that stuff mentioned above?
I tried him with Animal Farm a year or so ago but he wasn't interested. It's been a long time since I've read it, but I think the first couple of chapters are a little on the dry side.
We've read a few of the books suggested in this thread, with Artemis Fowl being the clear favourite.
|>>|| No. 6619
Fair enough, that's Orwell for you. Boris the Tomato may have similar themes - talking vegetables in a Kent greenhouse with plans of world domination - but it's a lot more accessible. I love it.
|>>|| No. 6642
>>5761 can fully recommend
"His dark materials" by Phillip Pullman.
"His Dark Materials is an epic trilogy of fantasy novels by Philip Pullman consisting of Northern Lights, The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass"
So so good. Nothing like the film.
|>>|| No. 6648
Fucking Golden Compass bullshit. IT'S NOT A COMPASS HOLLYWOOD, DID YOU EVEN READ THE BOOK
|>>|| No. 6650
Since this is up top again, I'm going to repeat my support for the Bartimaeus trilogy (>>5762) because they were so much fun when I was young, its about a young twatty kid in a pseudo-alternative reality where the British empire is still on the go, and a certain class of people (aristocracy types) can summon different levels of imps, genies, etc. It's about this kid who gives it a shot at a young age and his adventures with this sassy Djinn called Bartimaeus and how they end up getting involved in higher level politics (that makes it sound dull but it's really not).
Please give it a shot, I might buy the first again since I've lost it. It's not that well known a series but it was my favourite series at the time. I think I read it when I was about 12.
Also, Artemis Fowl. Rich supervillain child gets involved with a (literally) underground civilisation of super technologically advanced 'fairies' who have kept themselves secret from humanity for millenia. He runs into a fairy who is a newbie officer for the L.E.P. Recon unit.
|>>|| No. 6652
Didn't realise this is the third time I've wanked over this series, sorry. Whinge.
|>>|| No. 6656
To be fair to hollywood, the religious messages in the book were so offensive to most of America (and enough of the rest of the world) that the only options they had were to massively deviate from the book, or not make it at all.
The correct decision would have been to not make the film at all.
|>>|| No. 6671
I really enjoyed the Hungry Cities Chronicles (I.e. Mortal Engines + about five sequels)- All about a basically steampunk dystopian future where cities are jacked up on a giant sets of tracks and engaged in 'municipal darwinism'. I thought it was wicked sick when I was about 10.
I'll support the Wind Singer series, and you should definately go with His Dark Materials before year 5/6 as they offer a pretty solid critique and/or narrative regarding religion at a time when those ideas count (I say that from experience).
On Harry Potter - I think you need to start those at a bit of a later date, purely because they pretty rapidly mature from kids on an adventure to moody teens being moody - something I actually found to be pretty awkward/dull by the final tomes, and I was reading these as they came out, at pretty much a similar age to the characters.
|>>|| No. 6672
>I really enjoyed the Hungry Cities Chronicles (I.e. Mortal Engines + about five sequels)- All about a basically steampunk dystopian future where cities are jacked up on a giant sets of tracks and engaged in 'municipal darwinism'. I thought it was wicked sick when I was about 10.
I loved the first book when I was younger. For years I've been meaning to get round to reading the rest of the series.
|>>|| No. 6673
Go for it - it meanders for a bit but from what I remember (I re-read it about 4 years ago) it ends a satisfying distance from where it begins.
Oh also, they've just wrapped up shooting for a film of the first book, due out 2018.
|>>|| No. 6674
It's Mortal Engines, not 'Hungry Cities'. It'll be bloody sorcerers stones next.
They're making an Artemis Fowl film too. I have absolutely no idea how that will work, I'd put money on it being a disaster.
|>>|| No. 6675
Part of the reason I didn't carry on reading the series when I was younger is because of how despondent I was at the end of the first book that London was destroyed.
|>>|| No. 6676
Going off on the horns of a furious tangent...
Anyone else ever get the thing where reminiscing about one thing automatically ties to a different thing because of two things happening at the same time in the past?
I first read mortal engines at the same time as listening to 40ft by Franz Ferdinand, now those two memories are stuck together in my head and a mention of the book always makes me think of that song.
|>>|| No. 6678
Sorry slightly tilt this towards a cunt-off, but I was referring to the series, which is titled as such, cunt.
Upon further inspection of the Wiki, the series appears to be known to the Author as the 'Mortal Engines Quartet'. Cuntoff averted.
|>>|| No. 6745
Tiffany Aching is one of Terry's best characters, if you're looking for a meatier segue after you're finished. The Wee Free Men will introduce him to Granny Weatherwax at the end, and you can jump off into her books from there, returning to Tiffany Aching for the heart breaking finale.
|>>|| No. 6747
Yeah but Maurice himself is a bit obnoxious if I recall. It's the rats who are all interesting characters in their own right.
|>>|| No. 6749
> Tiffany Aching is one of Terry's best characters
I'm not a Young Adult so my opinion probably doesn't count for much, but imo he Mary-Sued the hell out of her in a way that made the rapid and largely inexplicable social rises of Vimes and Von Lipwig to seem almost rational. The only book in the that sub-series I liked was Wintersmith, plot, characterisation, character growth, good stuff.
> , if you're looking for a meatier segue after you're finished. The Wee Free Men will introduce him to Granny Weatherwax at the end, and you can jump off into her books from there, returning to Tiffany Aching
You'd probably be better off working from Wee Free Men up to I shall wear Midnight or at least Wintersmith if you want to keep the city watch and Esk and so on out of the picture at first, then go back to the earlier witches books and work your way forward.
Jumping straight from a Mary Sue with an iron saucepan fairy tale like the wee free men back into books as early in the series as Equal Rites or even Wyrd Sisters would, imo, be too jarring.
|>>|| No. 6750
The Nac Mac Feegle are to blame for her having major plot armour though, Rob Anybody is sworn to protect her with his afterlife.
|>>|| No. 6751
Success, lads. He's asked if I'll buy him more Terry Pratchett books.
|>>|| No. 6752
Top lad that kid, then. We'll be here to quibble over what you read next although I'll probably cede to the other lad as I haven't read Pratchett to anyone but myself GNU Terry Pratchett.
|>>|| No. 6753
While I'm here:
I never really considered the NMF as plot armour for T because her plot armour comes directly from being the impossible heroine in a series of children's' novels.
We see this very early on when the queen of the elves, who would have defeated Granny Weatherwax herself in Lords and Ladies if sly old Nanny Ogg hadn't gone down the long mound and done a malcolm tucker on the King. You have to remember that whatever borrowing Granny did with the bees wasn't offensive in nature, it was purely to survive the Queen's attack while everything only went back to normal when the King turned up and said "c'mon lads, nough ching the night la les get haem for wuz forget wuz fukkin uber is fur".
Anyway, this basically undefeatable elven queen who had to be disposed of by way of subterfuge by two of the Ramtops' most powerful witches is then done away with by a 9yo with a frying pan.
Suspension of disbelief and all that, but they could have at least built her up over the books rather than having basically giving her powers beyond all the other witches right off the bat - he might have well slapped Glasses and a birthmark in the shape of her dead gran's old dead sheepdogs and called her Harriot Puking ("I'm puking when I go to bed and I'm puking when I wake up" - the dad was an alkie).
For what little it's worth, I think that T becoming the kelda, briefly, in the first book is more of a deus ex to keep the NMH around to provide comic relief between Pratchett's increasingly nonsensical multi-threaded plots with rushed and unsatisfactory conclusions (because hey Terry it's, like, October and we've got to go print 20 million copies of whatever you have sort of half ready before Christmas) and some of the worst pseudo-sexual innuendo that I've ever seen in a young adult series.
Anyway, yeah. Not a fan. But then I'm also not nine any more. Who knows, I might not find Narnia, the bible, and that tantric sex book of my mum's so interesting now as I did at nine years old either.
Sage definitely ticked for a old an getting stuck into the failings of a kids book series. Boo me.
|>>|| No. 6758
Isn't Juliet the elf? Hmm. I don't mind the bodyguard being a burly black bloke, but elves are usually white. When you say black, do you actually mean exotic mystery meat that appeals to the global market?
Either way, it'll probably be watchable but I'm not holding out any hopes for it being Harry Potter tier wish fulfilment.
|>>|| No. 6759
I can see Dench being a good Root, though I struggle to see why they felt the need to gender swap him, it's not like there aren't enough women/girls in the story or anything, with Holly and Juliet being co-leads, basically.
I'm not particularly bothered what colour Butler is but they chap they've gone with just doesn't look right. He's supposed to be an elite operative and described essentially Agent 47 but even more effective. This fella looks like a fat teddy bear.
|>>|| No. 6761
>I can see Dench being a good Root
I just saw that out of context while scrolling and thought you meant root as in Australian slang.
|>>|| No. 6762
It's Artemis that'll break it. Far too complicated a character for 99.999% of child actors.
Holly has been cast as a child actor which is bizarre, I always imagined her to be mid 20s, just an elf.
|>>|| No. 6763
>Holly has been cast as a child actor which is bizarre, I always imagined her to be mid 20s, just an elf
From what I remember that was a huge part of her character, being older than Artemis and not putting up with his shit. She's a militarised police captain for fucks sake.
|>>|| No. 6765
>I can see Dench being a good Root
It's been a while since I've read Artemis Fowl, but I'm fairly certain that a major part of Holly's character and her development was how she was the first female to make Captain in the LEPrecon and constantly feeling like she had to prove herself. Make the Commander female and you're pretty much having to rewrite Holly from scratch.
Also, it appears that they've cast the only person of Indian extraction playing a main role in the film as Foaly, i.e. the tech support. It seems bizarre to change the ethnicity and gender of other major characters and then to go and pander to a massive stereotype like that.
|>>|| No. 6766
Everyone seems to have been horribly miscast. It's an exceedingly difficult film to make and nothing I've heard about it so far sounds right.
Let's talk about something else.
|>>|| No. 6768
Why... why was there the five second YouTube ad mini-trailer included at the start of the actual posted video? Such lazy fucks.
|>>|| No. 6769
I'm working with some very hazy recollections of the Artemis Fowl series, but wasn't Domovoi/Butler (and by extent Juliet) heavily implied to be of Balkan-to-Middle-East ish extraction? Y'know, somewhere that used to be part of the Ottoman Empire, full of olive skin and dark hair. Fucking Georgia or Armenia or somewhere. A country with an appropriately violent and tragic backstory to produce someone as gruff as Butler.
Weirdly the only casting I can think of that fulfils my mental image of Butler is Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson but only because he's meant to be an elite operative mountain with a deeply hidden fudgy heart. I realise I'm shit at casting for ethnicity.
Zero fucking idea on Holly or Artemis either. This film is going to be a fucking $130million disappointment from start to finish.
|>>|| No. 6770
>Weirdly the only casting I can think of that fulfils my mental image of Butler is Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson but only because he's meant to be an elite operative mountain with a deeply hidden fudgy heart. I realise I'm shit at casting for ethnicity
Dave Bautista would fit the bill, off the top of my head.l
|>>|| No. 6772
He is also Puerto Rican and can act, fitting both diversity quotas and the basic expectations of an audience. Butler is a nuanced character and Dave used to work for a security firm and was a night club bouncer, he is actually perfect.
|>>|| No. 6780
OP here again. I've slacked a bit on the Pratchett front, he's mainly been reading Horrible Histories and other history books recently, but I picked up The Bromeliad for 50p today so he's having a read of that at the minute.
|>>|| No. 6781
He's a voracious little sod isn't he. Makes me feel ashamed for not reading anything.
|>>|| No. 6783
Not many people knew, but purps was actually non other than Barry Chuckle.
Truly a sad day for us all.
|>>|| No. 6784
Yeah. It's mainly at night time, so I'll usually have to go up a few times to tell him to stop sneakily reading when he should be asleep. His sister is older now than he was when I started this thread and she's the opposite; she'll read but, other than Roald Dahl, she only wants to read relatively simplistic stuff.
I'm off to my local curryhouse tonight, The Giant Peach. Their speciality is rolled dal.
|>>|| No. 6850
Hmmm? Don't be a coward, lad. Tell us what you think. Looks alright, standard Disney fair.
(A good day to you Sir!)
|>>|| No. 6851
Butler just looks wrong, as discussed. Radiohead is an odd choice for the soundtrack.
I was never going to see the film anyway, because I'm thirty, but hopefully it gets some kids to read the books.
|>>|| No. 6852
I know there's artistic licence to deviate from the books, but it suggests to me that a fair few of the main characters are only going to vaguely resemble how they were written. They're going to make it into a mindless action adventure film.
Butler should not me fazed by the fairy transforming in front of him. Fuck knows what that fairy even did that as she's meant to be decrepit from being corrupted by the human world. They've given Butler a bow and arrow because Disney are going to shy away from him having a gun, so it wouldn't surprise me if they've decided to cut out the troll fight. At this stage Butler should also be completely bald.
|>>|| No. 6854
Someone linked to this casting call in the comments of that video : https://www.backstage.com/casting/artemis-fowl-183830/
>most importantly, Artemis is warm-hearted and has a great sense of humour; he has fun in whatever situation he is in and loves life.
I also agree there's almost certainly going to be no troll fight, or if there is, there won't be any tension as Disney can't do him bleeding and having a collapsed lung and all that, and him having hair is odd at this stage, and sort of ruins the reason he has hair later being a heavy handed but effective way to explore that particular event.
And now that I think about it, there's definitely going no Mulch shooting dirt out of his arse as a weapon. What's the fucking point?!
|>>|| No. 6855
Radiohead was the most fitting bit of artistic license of it all, IMO. I'm just afraid they're going to dumb down just how much of a petulant little shit Fowl actually is in favour of it being some magical Narnia-esque romp through unseen magical worlds.
|>>|| No. 6856
>I'm just afraid they're going to dumb down just how much of a petulant little shit Fowl actually is
They absolutely are, see >>6854. He's going to 'love life' and have a sense of humour, instead of being mardy and darkly focused on his father's absence.
It's Disney, though, not sure what else we should have expected.
|>>|| No. 6860
Fuck I didn't even notice. I'm losing my touch.
Please permaban me immediately
(A good day to you Sir!)
|>>|| No. 6862
Yesterday was Laddo's birthday. Christmas tradition is that the kids wake up and there's a stocking at the end of their beds full of little presents and sweets. I went upstairs at almost 1am to place the stockings and the little bugger's got his bedroom light on; he was still up reading. He'd got the Alex Rider books as a present and was already well into the second book. Then his youngest sister came into our bedroom about an hour and a half later to let us know she needed a wee, before spending at least an hour regularly telling us she was listening out for jingling bells. Nothing like Christmas Day on a lack of sleep.
|>>|| No. 6863
Should've given them a bit of Christmas hot toddy to send them off.
|>>|| No. 6865
My mate's kid is now the age yours was when you started the thread - and shares the same birthday, apparently. For Christmas this year he got an xbone and a TV to go in his room, so instead of staying up to sneak in some reading it'll be staying up to play Fortnite and send abusive messages over xbox live.
|>>|| No. 6867
In my day, late night secret TV viewing entailed Eurotrash and pervy Channel 4 programs like "Hookers, Hustlers, Pimps and their Johns."
|>>|| No. 6869
I remember It took me the longest time to realise the one with long hair was a guy and the one with short hair was a girl, although looking at it now, he has a little goatee.
|>>|| No. 6870
Laddo's spent a few nights away at his grandparents. His bedroom there has a TV in and he's been sneakily watching it until 3am, i.e. when the channels he was watching went to teleshopping. He said he's primarily been watching Impossible Engineering on Yesterday, which he complained about because the engineering in it was actually possible, but he's also watched a few true crime shows about murder. I know when he's stayed before he's stayed up late watching Red Dwarf or BBC4 documentaries on ancient Egypt.
That's why he doesn't have a TV in his bedroom yet.
|>>|| No. 6871
> watching Impossible Engineering
That's probably one of the early indicators of autism
|>>|| No. 6873
I think if he was on the spectrum we'd know about it by now or at least have suspicions; he has no real issues socialising and has a good circle of friends. Lots of children enjoy programmes along the lines of Impossible Engineering, How It's Made, Inside the Factory and everyone's favourite Auntie Mabel.
|>>|| No. 6874
I got a TV / VHS combi in my room when I was about 13 and recorded Monkey Dust on a whim one night. That was probably the beginning of the end for me if I'm being honest, lads.
Back on topic, have you thought about seeing how your lad fares with something like Ender's Game?
|>>|| No. 6875
He sounds like he's got a bright future ahead of him, or at the very least a strong career in britfa cuntoffs.
I don't know if nerds still get bullied at school or not, but make sure he has a cool haircut and at least a baseline level of how football works. He'll thank you for it later.
|>>|| No. 6876
> at the very least a strong career in britfa cuntoffs.
That's what life is all about after all.
|>>|| No. 6877
>have you thought about seeing how your lad fares with something like Ender's Game?
To be honest, I've largely taken a backseat with his reading choices as he's got a library card and I was choosing what I was reading myself when I was his age. I chose a few mythology books for him for his birthday/Christmas but apart from that he mainly received Magnus Chase/Kane Chronicles books because he's really into Rick Riordan at the moment. His mum chose the Alex Rider books which he's been devouring.
>at the very least a strong career in britfa cuntoffs
He'd be banned after his first post. Considering how much he reads his spelling and grammar is fairly atrocious. I don't think he enjoys English at school and he does that typical boy thing where he likes to give as short an answer as possible to questions. Maths has always been his strong point.
He hasn't been picked on, to my knowledge, although his best friend was pinned down the other week and someone threatened to stab him in the eye with a compass.
|>>|| No. 6924
His sister's borrowed a couple of books by David Baddiel from the library. Fucking hell, what an absolute crock of shite they are.
|>>|| No. 6925
I'm starting to get self-conscious from this thread. Your lad has probably now read more books in the last five years than I have in my life. Including during my undergraduate.
|>>|| No. 6926
Read more then lad.
Maybe we should have a .gs goodreads or summat
|>>|| No. 6927
>Maybe we should have a .gs goodreads or summat
I think that's more-or-less covered by >>5456. I'm presently reading What Am I Doing Here thanks to that thread.
|>>|| No. 6928
I recommended The Yiddish Policeman's Union aaaages ago to some lad here. On the offchance you're around, did you enjoy it as much as I did?
|>>|| No. 6930
Well, not everyone posts here every single day. I hear some users actually have the attention span for books!
|>>|| No. 6932
It's about a cynical, alcoholic Jewish detective trying to solve the execution-style murder of a heroin-addicted chess prodigy in a halfway house. It takes place in an alternate reality where Israel lost the 1948 war with the Arabs and the Jews were resettled in Sitka, Alaska (this was an actual proposition for their relocation post-WWII). Our murder takes place decades later when 'reclamation' is about to happen, reverting the land back to full American status since the settlement was only supposed to be temporary. Our grizzled detective has precious little time to clear out the list of unsolved murders before this date, as ordered by his boss who is, of course, his ex-wife. The death of this strange young man soon takes on a conspiratorial bent as he looks into it, finding himself in more danger than he would ever have expected. The language is peppered with Yiddish slang, as Hebrew never took off as their new tongue, and it's got a great sense of humour among the general Jewish fatalism. A cracking read overall.
|>>|| No. 6934
I'm >>6925 and your recommendation has reminded me that probably the last novel I read cover to cover was on holiday the summer before last, The Manual of Detection. It was an interesting Kafkaesque detective fiction. After a detective goes missing, his administrative handler is promoted to find him and has to follow a 'how to be a detective' book, with hilarious consequences. There's also some Gothic fantasy in there.
|>>|| No. 6935
Go on, lad. Read a book. I'm almost halfway through Catch-22 at the minute.
|>>|| No. 6936
If you're exactly halfway through, doesn't that make it Fumble-11?
|>>|| No. 6940
Page 1, left to right, can't go wrong.*
*Unless you got the Hebrew or Arabic translation.
|>>|| No. 6941
Illiteratus here; the only Kafka I ever read all the way through was Metamorphosis and, compared to The Trial which I got bored with, it's a straightforward tale. All the way through I was like "no, stop it, why is this happening", which I think is probably the quintessential reaction to Kafka.
|>>|| No. 6942
Why? The Metamorphosis is well enough known that you can think enough about a lot of its potential interpretations to the point you needn't really read it unless you especially want to, in which case there's your answer.
As >>6941 points out, The Trial is an exercise in bureaucracy that's not a whole barrel of laughs to read through, it's sort of like those bits in Family Guy where Peter's fighting that chicken or hurts his knee and it just keeps going and going and you just want it to end which arguably is the point.
If you want to get anything else out of him, reading something you haven't already heard umpteen different perspectives on then just get a collection of his short stories. Most of them will likely leave you nonplussed but you'll probably get more out of it than just reading the most well known ones.
|>>|| No. 6954
Success, lads. He's just finished The Colour of Magic and has started cracking on with The Light Fantastic.
|>>|| No. 6957
>I'm presently reading What Am I Doing Here thanks to that thread.
I enjoyed the parts on China the most, particularly the section on Emperor Wu-ti and the Heavenly Horses. It's piqued my interest; do you lads have any recommendations for further reading on Ancient China?
|>>|| No. 6960
It didn't fill me with trepidation, unlike the Artemis Fowl trailer, so I guess that's a plus.
|>>|| No. 6978
>Parents spend more on outfits than they do on novels
That's not really surprising. Clothes are expensive, books are not.
|>>|| No. 6986
A quarter of parents are using digital assistants such as Amazon’s Alexa and Apple’s Siri to read bedtime stories to their children, a survey suggests. Two thirds said that they gave their children time on smartphones, tablets or television before they went sleep instead of a bedtime story
Some parenting websites extol the use of Alexa at bedtime. They say that, as well as allowing it to read a story to your child, you can ask it to sing to them, dim the lights, create white noise and respond to them from another room if they wake.
The survey showed that half of parents aimed to share a story with their child every night but barely more than a quarter did. Nearly a third said that work or commuting stopped them getting home in time and a fifth said they were too busy. For parents who did read stories with their child at night more than half said that they would choose to use an app or YouTube for the task. More than two fifths of children younger than 11 own a tablet and one in eight owns a tablet and a smartphone.
|>>|| No. 7017
Are there any decent British comics these days? I'm going to trial The Phoenix for my daughter, but I can't think of any others. The Beano seems to have gone to shit and almost everything else is magazines for about a fiver with a load of tat attached to it.
|>>|| No. 7029
>His sister is older now than he was when I started this thread and she's the opposite; she'll read but, other than Roald Dahl, she only wants to read relatively simplistic stuff
She's now obsessed with Jacqueline Wilson books. I swear at least 90% of them must be about a kid whose parents are going through a divorce. Either that or they've already divorced and the kid now has to look after their younger siblings because their mum has fucked off to Benidorm with her new fella and there's no telling when she'll be back.
|>>|| No. 7031
It might just be that these are the main themes she's decided to follow in her books aimed at 9 to 11 year olds. That and bullying.
She does have books aimed at older girls, but I know they cover things like sex and periods so obviously we aren't going to let her read them yet. Who knows what the themes in these books will be? Backstreet abortions and the time dad held mum's head over the hob for burning dinner?
|>>|| No. 7032
I read James Herbert's The Fog when I was 12 and it never did me any harm. No, watching If.... when I was 11 ruined my life.
|>>|| No. 7066
There's not a fucking chance the BBC of all producers is going to effectively depict a child-maiming aristocracy and a full frontal assault on Catholicism.
Likely it'll just be a bit of an adult Harry Potter cum generic steampunk fantasy.
|>>|| No. 7067
The first episode was alright, albeit I don't think they've got the pacing right yet and it could have benefited from something like the mud wars between Lyra and the gyptian children as no real relationship was established between the two in Oxford. I'm not entirely convinced by Mrs Coulter, either.
I'll see how it goes.
|>>|| No. 7068
I'm watching it and it seems decent but I paused it a while ago and can't be bothered to start it again. I don't like the use of CGI, it makes everything feel like the sets are tiny dioramas with no actual world around them.
|>>|| No. 7069
Laddo's apparently ran out of books to read so I've given him The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I'm guessing he's into it because he didn't want to turn his light off when I went through a few minutes ago. I only really need to tide him over for a week or so until his birthday/Christmas but I'm unsure what to suggest to him next; I might try Orwell on him again.
|>>|| No. 7070
He's 12 now right? Yeah that's a good age for Hitchhiker's, most of my school mates had read it by then.
|>>|| No. 7072
Yeah. A week today and he's a teenager.
I'm not actually sure if I've got any Dirk Gently books, I've certainly got other ones by Adams but I have a feeling they're others in the Hitchhiker's series. He's got around 15 Discworld books plus a few others by Pratchett, such as Dodger and the Nome Trilogy; I'm looking to get more but you see surprisingly few Pratchett books in second-hand and charity shops considering his volume of output.
|>>|| No. 7073
Seconding Pratchett here. I read his truckers/diggers/wings trilogy in primary and loved it and started into discworld at 15 although I'd say an intelligent kid could definitely get it much younger than that.
Dirk Gently always felt a bit more adult, even if I did read them as a Young Adult. Likewise I first read HHGTTG at 14-16 and probably didn't really appreciate them properly.
Sigh because my lad's just hit four and while he loves story time he has the attention span of a goldfish and I suppose I'll be here in a couple of years asking what you can read to an ADHD 6 year old.
I mean I would sit and listen to whole chapters of the Alice, Narnia, and Wind in the Willows when I was 3, I knew I never should have spaffed in his mum. Sage.
|>>|| No. 7075
Did anyone actually watch all of His Dark Materials? It's been a couple of months and I'm still struggling to find the motivation to get around to the second episode.
|>>|| No. 7132
I've just read the first Dirk Gently book. Can you lads recommend some authors similar to Adams and Pratchett? Not sure how alike they are, but the next books I'm planning to read are A Confederacy of Dunces and The Antipope.
|>>|| No. 7133
I tried reading artemis fowl back when I was a teenager, I never get far into the book because it just didn't appeal to me as you have a main character who is meant to be a super-intelligent kid, but mostly just came across to me as a massive bellend.
|>>|| No. 7134
I enjoyed them but agree with your sentiment. It's been a while since I read them but he's only supposed to be a knob cos his dad's missing, which didn't resonate with me at all since I was very pleased my dad was missing.
|>>|| No. 7135
A lot of 'book smart' people are educated fools who lack common sense and emotional intelligence. As a swot in school I can safely say that a lot of us were twats.
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