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A typical little shit.jpg
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>> No. 3518 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 5:32 am
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A couple of days ago a kid from my road rode his BMX into my parked car and one of his stuntpegs managed to scratch through to metal along almost the entire length of the lower drivers door. He's got to be at least 13. I know where said little shit lives so I've calmly confronted his mother who denies all responsibility.

Local police suggest I contact my Insurance and to settle the matter with them, ruining my years of no-claims.

I have third party fire and theft so I'm aware that if I damage my car myself that's entirely my own fault, but this is a different matter. Who do I claim against if my car is damaged by a cyclist, nevermind an underage monster energy powered gobby little shitbag that likes to learn how to wheelie in the middle of a packed residential street.

I've kindly been provided with CCTV footage by my neighbor, but I have no idea of how to proceed.

I'm going to have to have the entire door resprayed it's so scuffed up. Surely the parent is liable?
Expand all images.
>> No. 3519 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 6:06 am
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>>3518
>I have third party fire and theft so I'm aware that if I damage my car myself that's entirely my own fault, but this is a different matter.
No it isn't, you bloody chancer. Your policy covers loss to third parties, theft of your motor vehicle and fire damage. You now want accidental damage cover after your property was accidentally damaged?

Light the thing on fire.
>> No. 3520 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 6:15 am
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>>3519

That's not a bad idea actually. Set the door on fire and blame the yoot. As long as you have a police reference number, you're golden.

Getting the mother to pay will be difficult, take her on that Judge program.
>> No. 3521 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 6:18 am
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>>3519
>>3520

I like my car. I've toiled for months on end to be able to afford such a thing. I'm not going to set it alight, some people actually value their possessions you know? It's not a difficult concept.
>> No. 3522 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 6:23 am
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>>3521
Yeah but you're not going to lose the car. Stop being such a numpty and light the motor up. Insurance will pay out, just don't make it blatantly obvious. I can't believe they let utter retards like you drive cars, why would you even bother making a thread, all of the information you need was in the original post.
>> No. 3523 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 6:33 am
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>>3522
This is the last time I ask for legal advice on /mph/, I could have asked my dealer the same thing and he'd say torch it up too.

You guys know how to give advice like a bunch of chavs don't you.
>> No. 3524 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 6:44 am
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>>3523
So you've got money to buy illicit drugs but not to adequately insure the property you claim to care so much about?
>> No. 3525 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 6:50 am
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>>3524

Weed is cheap, insurance for a V8 isn't. I never predicted that a shit for brains London born teen would move up here and charge about like he's got some invisible gang to show up and scratch my car.

You now what, next time he shows face I'm going to give him a back hand and chuck his prized BMX in a ditch, since no-one else cares to lend advice I might as well take it upon myself, no?
>> No. 3526 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 6:52 am
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>>3523
You're just an idiot, this has nothing to do with class and in fact I'm actually happy this has happened to you because you've shown your true colours. Set the bloody thing on fire and stop being such an M&S organic tofu eating sallypally about it.
>> No. 3527 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 6:59 am
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>>3526
Fuck off you spunk gargling wank fest organiser.
>> No. 3528 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 6:59 am
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>>3525
>I'm going to give him a back hand and chuck his prized BMX in a ditch

You wish you had the guts to do that, you're a tottering country bumpkin who can't even pull off a bit of insurance fraud. I don't blame the lad for fucking up your car, you sound like one of those passive aggressive twats who'd send bitchy little postit notes about it. His mum clocked you for the minnow you are, no wonder why she didn't care about your useless mewling.
>> No. 3529 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 7:04 am
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>>3528
That's not a fair comment, you know nothing about me or my family history. We're all boxers you know, you want to see the colours of nature? Come to my house, I'll show you what comes out of your nose.
>> No. 3530 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 7:15 am
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>>3529
The reek of frustrated middle aged man just seeps out of you. Encumbered by the day to day struggles of living in a modern day urban environment is keeping you down eh? Are you feeling particularly emasculated by your inability to control your life and does this little bitchy show of strength make you feel better? Go set the fucking car alight and go to bed.
>> No. 3531 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 8:31 am
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>I have third party fire and theft

Why?
>> No. 3532 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 10:13 am
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>>3531
>Why?

Because he's the sort of small-penis-big-ego twat who drives a BMW, but he can barely afford it.
>> No. 3533 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 10:20 am
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>>3530
Fucking hell teenlad, just say sorry for scratching his car and be more careful in future.
>> No. 3534 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 10:42 am
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>>3532
Fully comp is cheaper. Only idiots go for third party.

http://www.theguardian.com/money/2015/oct/31/third-party-insurance-holders-pay-more-money-for-less-cover
>> No. 3535 Anonymous
21st November 2015
Saturday 12:48 pm
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>>3518
>I have third party fire and theft so I'm aware that if I damage my car myself that's entirely my own fault
No, it means damage to your own vehicle is not covered at all. Third party cover is against your liability to third parties, not their liabilities to you (their insurance covers that). If you were to take this to your insurers, without someone else to claim against, they would register it as an own-fault claim against your own policy, at which point they'd then tell you it wasn't covered. The only recourse you might have with them is legal assistance cover, through which you could sue the scrote (through his parents). This is generally considered "ancillary cover" and therefore wouldn't need to be declared when getting a quote.
>> No. 3548 Anonymous
25th November 2015
Wednesday 10:32 pm
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So have you set the car on fire yet?
>> No. 3549 Anonymous
25th November 2015
Wednesday 10:46 pm
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It only needs to be a little one as well, enough to ruin the paint job a bit.
>> No. 3550 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 1:42 am
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Surely if you hand the footage to the police you've done all the work for them needed to charge the kid with criminal damage? Then again you never know with the police, if it isn't a motorist they can make money off for speeding they don't really care.
>> No. 3551 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 3:07 am
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Okay I decided to set it on fire. I want to do it in such a way that it doesn't get traced back to me. How can I go about doing this?
>> No. 3552 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 3:34 am
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>>3551

Just don't post your intentions on an open forum, and you'll be fine.
>> No. 3553 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 4:20 am
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>>3551
Right, your neighbour has your parking space on CCTV so it'd be best if you move it out somewhere, preferably an area known for it's scoundrels so it doesn't arouse suspicion. It's going to have to look like someone was touching the dog's arse and the minor nature of the scratch itself means that it wouldn't look like you were claiming on your insurance so I think you're sorted there. Scout your potential arson spot for cameras and potential nosy twats. Fill the car up on a full tank and then leave it at your desired spot(or get a friend to do this part for you). Wait a day and then take a cab to the place at night, don't take an uber or anything that might leave a trail back to you, walking would be best but I can see how that might not be viable.

Now for the burning itself, you'd want to go for the most simple method possible which is a towel (make it bigger than a face towel but not too big) and then stick it in the petrol tank and set it alight. Go back home and then report your car as missing and eventually the police would get back to you with the story of how some pikeys took it for a joyride and set it alight. Be vehemently angry about the thing and get your police report and hand it to your insurance.

The only feasible way you could get caught is if CCTV catch you on your way to the burning spot so try and make it a short journey, or better yet, get a mate to drive it to the spot, nothing will come back to him because they would only be searching for speeding cars rather than someone driving normally but it's a good precaution to take nonetheless. I've set a few cars alight in my time but don't really know how to claim insurance on them so someone else might guide you on this part. It should be quite simple though.

Good luck lad, we wish you the best.
>> No. 3554 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 5:33 am
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>>3553
Seems like a lot of work and very risky. I was thinking of just setting it alight near my house, but then I realise that would be stupid. I have a bicycle. So I guess I will take it to the area where the smackheads congregate and set it alight next week.

I am a bit frightened. Is the towel going to burn all the way to the petrol in the tank? What if it stops half way? Do I stop till it blows up like they do in films? How far do I have to be? It can't be that simple.
>> No. 3555 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 8:44 am
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Don't be a dick. It's just a fucking scratch. Either claim on the insurance or put up with it.
>> No. 3556 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 11:19 am
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You have a few options:

1. Take the CCTV to the mother, or the polis, and get the cash off them to fix it.

2. Take the hit and get it filled and painted yourself, I'm sure it only costs about a hundred quid.

3. Burn it

Whichever route you take, get fully comp next time, you numpty.
>> No. 3557 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 7:41 pm
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Right lads. I want to do it now, or should I wait a bit longer?
>> No. 3558 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 7:53 pm
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>>3557
Just get some T Cut.
>> No. 3559 Anonymous
26th November 2015
Thursday 8:04 pm
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>>3557
What's that, sir? What was it you wanted to do?
>> No. 3560 Anonymous
29th November 2015
Sunday 1:30 pm
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>>3554
You're only pulling my leg but I forgot to tell you to soak a third of the towel in some petrol and then wait for it to drip out but not become dry. The part that you haven't soaked should be inserted into your tank and you should run away from it after having lit it but it'd take a minute or two for the car to actually become a fireball. Don't do it in a residential area and good luck with it mate.
>> No. 3561 Anonymous
29th November 2015
Sunday 6:18 pm
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>>3560
Sounds like someone knows what's what. All I can add is that used tampons from the bin at your local boozer's ladies bogs can make for splendid DNA red herrings.
>> No. 3562 Anonymous
29th November 2015
Sunday 6:43 pm
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>>3560
It is good to know these things in case you ever need to blow up a car.

>>3561
That's a bit too disgusting. Besides, the more steps in a plan, the more likely it is to fail.
>> No. 3563 Anonymous
29th November 2015
Sunday 7:02 pm
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>>3561

If I was a forensics expert I would definitely be very confused if I was asked to investigate a burnt-out car with a petrol tank full of used tampons.
>> No. 3564 Anonymous
29th November 2015
Sunday 7:03 pm
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>>3554

why would you post this lol

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 3565 Anonymous
29th November 2015
Sunday 11:25 pm
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>>3564
>lol
Lad.
>> No. 3566 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 12:34 am
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Incredible world we live in. A masterpiece of engineering composed of thousands of independent pieces gets a scratch and the solution is to set it on fire like a fucking caveman. And the people who demur are considered hoity-toity. Never mind the danger, the cost to the public purse, the massive waste of time and effort of the whole endeavour. It's all so ladm8 can have it replaced in its entirety for free. Because it got scratched.

This is like 'wash the damn spoon' taken to eleven.
>> No. 3567 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 12:42 am
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>>3566

This is the price we have to pay for the west winning the cold war.
>> No. 3568 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 1:47 am
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>>3566
You are quite correct of course and this actual professor - a fucking hero to me for this and I am glad he ran with his legal defence of not remembering a thing - would agree with you.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-21086848
>> No. 3569 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 3:48 am
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>>3566
To be fair, a new car is better than one with a scratch.
>> No. 3570 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 5:14 am
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I really don't think that towel thing will work. I don't think there's enough oxygen in the fuel tank. I believe cars are also engineered against this sort of thing.

You've already incriminated yourself as well.
>> No. 3571 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 5:16 am
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>>3570

A friend of mine once crashed his car into a canal to get out of a lease.
>> No. 3572 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 5:38 am
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>>3570
Are you just guessing? I would like to hear how you would go about doing it.
>> No. 3573 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 6:23 am
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>>3572

An educated guess. I know for a fact that cars made after a certain year have anti-siphoning designs which would work just as well to prevent this sort of fire. Not only that but you'd need the right ratio of oxygen to gas for it to ignite, and the tank would be full of vapour rather than oxygen.

Personally I would just pay to have the paint fixed, or destroy the vehicle in some other way.
>> No. 3574 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 10:04 am
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>>3573 It doesn't seem to have dawned on OP yet that claiming for a fire isn't going to help when he wants insurance on his next shitheap. 'Any claims in the last five years?' 'Yeah, my last car got 'cough', 'stolen' and, ahem, 'torched'.
Certainly sir, fuck you, here's a comedy quote.
>> No. 3575 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 10:59 am
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>>3574
You do realise this entire thread was nuked the second someone mentioned insurance based arson. No one here is serious because OP doesn't have the balls to go through with it. He's all talk.
>> No. 3576 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 1:45 pm
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>>3575

You sound disappointed about this? Why? Are you a fraudulent claims investigator?
>> No. 3577 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 5:01 pm
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>>3575
I think >>3521 made it eminently clear that OP isn't the sort of numpty to set a slightly scratched car on fire.
>> No. 3578 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 5:33 pm
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>>3577
He was merely waiting to strike when the time was right. They won't suspect a thing.
>> No. 3579 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 6:24 pm
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>>3578
The best part is that if a tree fell on his car, he still wouldn't be covered.
>> No. 3580 Anonymous
30th November 2015
Monday 6:32 pm
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>>3579
Not if the tree was on fire. You know how to put this right OP.
>> No. 3675 Anonymous
20th February 2016
Saturday 9:24 pm
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>>3518

Holy shit just take the door off and do it yourself. It'll cost you £20 tops.
>> No. 3676 Anonymous
22nd February 2016
Monday 2:09 am
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In my opinion, cyclists should have to get insurance if they want to ride in public, seems only fair.
>> No. 3677 Anonymous
22nd February 2016
Monday 2:32 am
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>>3676
Not before they pay road tax!

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