No. 41075Anonymous 30th September 2023 Saturday 6:32 pm41075'I'ma 35-year-old virgin because I prefer nights in to the pub'
Anya says she wouldn't know where to start when it comes to finding a partner
A 35-year-old virgin who has never been kissed says it is because she picks nights in with cake over socialising. Anya Panchal, 35, has spent most of her adulthood alone and considers herself ''left on the shelf''.
Despite wanting to meet a partner, she has never been on a date and chooses to eat pudding at home over going to the pub. She suffers from social anxiety and admits she only started to make friends aged 22.
After suffering a breakdown in 2010, Anya was determined to turn her social life around started making friends aged of 22 - through a Facebook group for ''fellow loners''. ''When I finally made friends, it was amazing, I was able to start going out and getting my nails done with them and go to the cinema,'' she said.
>''I even started trying the dating apps, but it seemed like the men on there were only looking for sex and it really put me off. 'I haven't dated online since.'' Despite dubbing herself a ''hopeless romantic'', Anya is still terrified at the idea of speaking to or dating a man. She said: ''I know I need to change my ways, or I'll never fully experience life. "I feel like I'd like to meet someone because I don't want to be in my 70s with a load of regrets. I was a recluse for six years and it's only since 2010 that I've had friends, but naturally they've all gotten married and started a family of their own.
>"Don't get me wrong, they're amazing friends but I do feel like there is a part of me missing without a partner. In order to get a partner, you have to go on dates and the thought of it fills me with dread. "Because I'm not in the dating pool, I don't know how to even go about it. The thought of being physical with a man makes my stomach flip because I wouldn't even know where to start. "I'm totally inexperienced with men but I do know I want someone kind with a good personality, who loves to take long walks in the park and with a bit of money. Above all, I want an emotional connection with someone because that's the most important thing - or so I've been told."
I don't know about this. She's pretty fit but I reckon she might be asexual and just looking for someone now that her friends are all married. Surely at some point she will have been gagging for cock and gone on an app? Or got a male escort?
She sounds like a female version of me. I'm not a virgin and I go to the pub regularly, but I'm the same age as her and my social life doesn't give me girlfriend opportunities either. It's nice that she doesn't seem to blame anyone else, though. Think how willing society would be to help me if there wasn't a cohort of people in my situation who keep shooting up university campuses.
Think how willing society would be to help me if there wasn't a cohort of people in my situation who keep shooting up university campuses.
Well, not very. I think that's kind of why they end up shooting up university campuses. Anyway let's not start all that shite eh?
I'm mates with a lass who I've been talking to on and off for about maybe 6 or 7 years. We flirt and talk about sex sometimes and she'll tell me when she's sexually frustrated and more or less overtly asks me to help sort her out. But then she'll always go from hot to cold at some point and we'll end up not meeting up, so it doesn't happen. Se was a virgin into her 30s and several of those near-miss meet ups early on would have resulted in me taking her virginity if they'd gone ahead. She's only had one relatively serious boyfriend from what I know.
Probably a similar situation for OP lass, just generally very shy and socially anxious, and even if she is getting overtly positive and permissive attention from a fella, giving her all the go ahead signals that she's in there and he's up for it, she will over-think it and talk herself out of it, and then cancel the date, etc etc, until the cycle goes around again.
The difference is only really that we think it's weird and unusual when it's a woman, because typically, men come to them. They don't have to be as pro-active as a man. So when it's a woman who's remained single or a virgin for a long time, it means she's either actively choosing to be, or else she is just pretty fundamentally different in her interactions and judgements of situations to your average lass.
Exactly the same as me to be honest, it's an interesting read. Maybe we're similar. I figured out I'm asexual some time ago though, and while sex doesn't matter to me I would still like a partner so I can engage with the romantic side of things, like her I just want an emotional connection.
The problem is you generally can't find people like you just by getting out there, because we're not the ones going to clubs and the like to try and hook up. And as far as asexuality's concerned, appaently only around 0.6% of the population identify as asexual, and it's a spectrum, so the odds of finding someone similar are up against you.
I'm 30 and have no social life. My friends from uni all scattered, I have no social skills so I am unable to make friends at events or at work. Maybe I should hit Anya up she can be my best bud.
