If you pop to Argos or Wilkos or whatever and get a new seat (less than a tenner) it will come with all the bits and pieces you need. It all screws together by hand quite easily.

What is it with you pair? Just sit on it normally.

>>2900

Presumably their giant-arsed, third-titted fat girlfriends are knocking the seats off kilter.

>>2898

You could have cleaned it first. I've never seen that style of fitting before, it looks thoroughly chowdered and I'd just buy a new bog seat. Get a cheapo one if you're renting, but spend a few quid extra on a seat with non-loosening topfix fittings if you can.

>>2901

Us serious chubby-chasers have learned to buy commercial toilet seats.

>>2898
Check to see if you can see where those bits come out underneath. If you can, get the cheapest thing that'll fit the spacing. If you can't, then you have a top fixing which means you'll need to shop around to find a suitable seat.

Though if you're renting, then it's likely wear and tear which means it's on your landlord to fix it.

When this happened to mine there were big plastic thumbscrews on the underside that were fused closed through age/piss and they had to be undone with pliers which managed to chip a sharp piece off the porcelain which fucked my thumb up. Hopefully that knowledge helps.

>>2902
It's not unreasonable to intend to clean it once it's apart so you can get into all the inaccessible places.

>>2898
We know you have a 'weird ass', that's obviously why it detached, but let's concentrate on the problem at hand please.

>>2898
Looks like the screws that hold it on are still in place, the seats just broke off completely.
As others have said get a new one, and it's probably just done up with thumbscrews underneath.

>>2899

Thanks. Cleaned it up, got the cheapest one from Argos, and it works just fine now.