Have you tried Chinese made hooks?

If it were me, I'd try something like the attached: https://www.ebay.com/itm/362309806931

Put this hook through both the post and the hooks of the seat, then put the plate against the bottom and screw the bolts on tight enough to hold the seat firmly in place.

Best to measure the distance between the holds of the post, then get a hook where the distance between the bolt threads match.

That said, I'm not much of a cyclist, so maybe some resident cyclistlad can also chime in if there are standard parts for bicycles that make this easier than my solution.

>>3122

Actually, squared off and shorter might hold everything together a bit better. They're called U bolts, with a plate and nuts.

>>3123

It's important that the thread goes up far enough for you to actually tighten the plates against the bottom, by the way. You could probably also fudge something with hook bolts or eye bolts and plats to hold everything together.

Alright, I'll shut up now.

Everyone elses suggestion seems like a faff and you'll probably struggle to find a way to make it stable.

My suggestion, Get a length of wood that will slot through those rails, the tighter the fit the better so if you can get something a quarter inch too wide and then wittle it down that would work.
Then you can get some screws or bolts, pass them through the seatpost on the bike and into the wood.

If the seatpost is a standard size (they come in a range from 25.4mm to 31.6mm diameter and lengths up to 400mm) then it's probably easiest to just buy a new seatpost - they're less than £15 on eBay.

You might be able to fix the saddle to the existing seatpost with P clips, but you won't get any angle adjustment.

>>3120
Loads of duct tape. No Chinese hooks required.

All this talk of hooks and duct tape is making me very aroused.

>>3128

I think half the userbase of .gs needs to be sprayed with cold water every few hours.

>>3129

Thank you, master.

>>3129
How do you know that's not what gets them going?
Boiler's fucked, after a couple of days I had cold showers to keep the miff down. Gas Safe man should be 'round by Thursday, but I might keep having cold... well, cool showers.

Cheers lads. Ended up going with the square u-bolt suggestion. In retrospect I could've saved 8 squid by doing it with just four backing plates and some bolts, but at least it feels quite secure.

>>3137

Not wanting to shit on your parade, but it looks like a bit of a hackjob. And like it'll eventually come loose.

I would honestly try to find somebody with a welding machine and have them do two spots on each side of the bars under your seat. But they need to know what they're doing, because welding stainless steel and mild steel together requires some skill and knowledge.

>>3139

It looks like a hackjob, it is a hackjob, but it'll be fine. If it comes loose, it's hardly beyond his abilities to just tighten the bolts back up. I don't think it's likely to come loose, because it looks like he has used nyloc nuts.

If it was my arse on the line, I'd go in with a flat file and round off the corners on those backing plates. Otherwise, job done.

>>3137

As the lad that recommended the square U-bolt, I was trying to think of ways of eliminating side-to-side wobble. I did mention the long threadless part of the bolt would be useless, and the way you piled up the backing plates did make me laugh, but if it works it works.

Just using backing plates and some bolts would probably look a lot cleaner, but I can't comment on the stability.

Have you actually tried using it, yet?

>>3139

OP asked for a bodge. If it doesn't come loose after many hundreds of hours of bodyweight arse-and-peddling pressure, it is a successful bodge in my book.

>>3140
Yeah I used nyloc nuts and loctite for good measure. Your post reminded me that I had a set of files lying around, so I went to town on the sharp edges too.

>>3141
>Have you actually tried using it, yet?
Yep. Four sessions on the bike so far and there's no sign of anything coming loose.