Lads, I'm scared. What if they're all cunts, what if I'm a cunt. What's everyone's experience with making mates and are there always gonna be solid, like-minded people in uni?
I already had a few mates before I started. Most people seem nice though. Just be friendly. People respond to that and if you're nice they'll invite you out places, I get invites for nights out all the time.
Don't be reactive. Go and meet people in societies and things. People will not come up to you wanting to be your friend (unless you are loaded). Sports, arts and crafts, singing, anything.
>>6021 Everyone's different. My mum is mates from people she was at school and poly. As far as I can tell my dad has no mates from uni. I had good friends at uni but I never ask to catch up.
>>6017 No they won't. Best days are behind you mate. Any friends you make from here on out will always be cunts, but that really doesn't matter because you will soon realise that you too are a cunt. You should really start drinking heavily right about now. It will save you some trouble later on, and make sure that you always remember that cunts are not real people so you can never do any wrong.
>>6026 Now that I think about it, quite a large proportion of the women I slept with at uni were foreign and the ones that weren't were mostly mental. I guess the culture barrier masks my cringingly wooden conversation skills, or maybe our women have all become boring sweater-wearing feminist-types more quickly than those from fresher fields.
In first year, everyone wants to be mates with everyone so just chill and go with it. Even if you don't drink, go out with people and show your face at student parties. I'd recommend leaving the games console at home if you're a gamer (at least for the first year) as you won't have time for it on top of work and socials, and anything other than work that keeps you in your room alone is a bad thing. Oh and make sure to pack a door wedge so you can interact with your corridor mates when you are in.
>>6027 I have a mate in uni who sits in his room all day on Skype with the rest of us, I really don't want to be like that and hopefully when I'm there I'll get him some mates too.
Hopefully, because I'm doing music, everyone will be keen to go out to clubs or gigs.
Just make an effort to spend time with people who clearly want to do the same.
Don't feel forced to go out getting pissed constantly with your new housemates; if there's a night you don't fancy proposition the girls with a movie night - pizza, no-booze/booze, fave board games ,etc - because you'll either end up comfortable with the girls or at least another lad will stick around to keep it interesting.
Admittedly I was not that much better than the mythical guy who spent freshers on WoW but the difference was I kept my door open and was accommodating enough for people to feel like they could visit whenever it wasn't locked.
Ended up with my own nightly spectators for my mixteam on faceit, now the game's alot bigger all the boys who used to watch me think I'm some sort of god for landing top30 lol.
Seriously OP, don't worry because you'll find alot of people in your position and it's a matter of not being a cunt yourself. Try introduce people to things they might like without coming across as a know-it-all on the topic. Ask people how they feel if they start getting weird and try not to spent too much time on the nutters.
>>6027 >Oh and make sure to pack a door wedge so you can interact with your corridor mates when you are in.
Is that a common thing? I've never heard of people doing that before.
>>6045 Well I couldn't really say how common it is in general, but I didn't take one for my first term and ended up propping my door open with whatever would do the job. Most of the people on my corridor were fairly friendly, lot of them did the same. But then, our rooms + kitchen were so small that we basically used the corridor as our communal lounge so it made sense.
I don't bother now because I'm a grad and live with other boring grads. Sigh.
>>6017 My first term was pretty reasonable, everyone's nervous and looking to make friends. Your first stop is always going to be your flatmates so look to make at least one close buddy with one of them. To be honest, I think having larger halls is probably better in the long run as there's a larger pool of people to make friends with and potentially form a closer bond with. Nothing sucks more than accidentally missing the window with a small flat and being stuck cooking at 1am to avoid the awkward conversations.
Number one piece of advice: do a sport. Any sport, even a shit sport that you'll never actually play like fucking lacrosse or something. They party like nuts and if you're smart you can easily get away with not drinking. AND, normally, the sports birds are fit as fuck, yoga pants all the live long day.
I didn't drink all the way through my undergraduate degree and I ended up making casual acquaintances with more or less everyone in my class and friends with maybe around 10. It wasn't until I joined a sports team that I really started to feel like I was making the most out of my university, but even then I didn't drink so I wasn't that good mates with any of them.
Join a sports team and get pissed with them (and, by extension, other sports teams), that's how you make friends at uni.
Shit nigga I don't give a fuck if you do or not, it's just rounded advice. In my experience the only people who are terrible at making friends are either simple cunts or uptight assholes who are afraid of drugs or booze or women or some shit.
I suffer from pretty bad anxiety nowadays, never used to, makes uni a fucking chore when I could be having the time of my life if I had my head straight. Propranolol helps for presentations and shit but it only helps the physical symptoms, nothing mental, I wouldn't want to to touch benzos though.
It really stings because I'm legit good looking and 6'1, get flirted with all the time, I just can't live in the moment and take advantage of it, I only realize what happens when it's too late, then rage about it, like now.
>>6082 I've always liked to join a sports team but I'm shite at all of it. Shite at football, scared of rugby and the rest of it bores the tits off me. I can DJ so maybe there's an in for me there?
You could join a club for an individual sport rather than a team, where there will be less pressure to perform. If you pick something relatively obscure, it's likely that there will be a lot of other novices - climbing, canoeing, archery, something like that.
>>6085 Try American Football. Do something individual. Whatever, it really fucking matter, all I can suggest is doign something that is individual or non-intrinsic team based, ie. not football or rugby since the cunts doing that will have been doign it for years.
Archery is great for people just interested in doing new stuff, I did it for nine years.
>>6088 >American Football
>individual or non-intrinsic team based
Is handegg not a team-based sport?
>not football or rugby since the cunts doing that will have been doign it for years.
This is true, but if you join a fairly chilled team you'll be alright. I'd played a bit of footy as a kid but never played 11-a-side until I started playing for my college team in third year. Well worth it for the fitness, and nothing beats a (im)perfectly timed Stuart Pearce tackle on a sunday afternoon.
>>6085 Your uni might have a half-decent DJing society. Mine did, they used to run nights all over the city, they were excellent.
As far as sports go, the other lads are right that you should try something more obscure. Football and rugby are more or less a no-go unless you're actually good at them before you get there, that's universal across the country bar any intramural leagues (but you would need friends already to make a team).
Field hockey tends to be up there among the top "university experience" sports because it's fucking pointless so all they do is go out and drink, cricket is similar since you only get cricket weather in the three months you're not actually at uni, but cricket lads are about the biggest cunts you'll encounter at uni. American football is a decent shout if you're reasonable athletic to begin with.
I started ice hockey at uni and would recommend it to anyone provided they were happy with the investment money-wise and reasonably confident they're going to stick at it. The university league, BUIHA, has really good options for beginners, two non-contact leagues, both with a weekend-long tournament at Easter each year that involves a nice piss-up with players from the rest of the country.
Archery is also a good shout if you just want to make mates and not actually get good at a sport.
>>6017 Everyone is a cunt. We're all just muddling along in our own way trying to make sense of life and the hand we've been dealt. Play it. Get the fuck on with it. Everyone is the same.
