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>> No. 22594 Anonymous
26th March 2019
Tuesday 9:19 pm
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If I could have the superpowers from any film then it would be those of the character Hal from Shallow Hal, portrayed by Jack Black.

Any girl you saw with a genuinely nice personality would look like a legitimate 10/10 stunner, so you could spend the rest of your days sleeping with absolute fuggos who look like supermodels to you and they'd probably so grateful for attention that they'd let you do almost any depraved thing you wanted like pissing up their arse.

You'd have this lovely wholesome girl who looked like an absolute worldwide, guaranteed to have an amazing personality, who would do anything in bed to please you and you wouldn't have the hassle of other lads constantly hitting on her like you'd have with a 10/10 in real life.

If I had the powers of Hal from Shallow Hal then life would be pretty sweet, pretty sweet indeed.
Expand all images.
>> No. 22595 Anonymous
26th March 2019
Tuesday 9:35 pm
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Sucks to be you mate - fat birds are the business.
>> No. 22596 Anonymous
26th March 2019
Tuesday 9:46 pm
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Horrible personalities, though.
>> No. 22597 Anonymous
26th March 2019
Tuesday 10:43 pm
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Looking like a stunner wouldn't stop them from absolutely fucking reeking.
>> No. 22598 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 12:00 am
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Truth. 10/10 birds are always a nightmare.
>> No. 22599 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 12:06 am
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I'm sure we're all smart enough to visualise the nightmare of what a 'genuinely nice personality' would be. I'd just go for using the force to pick up things that are slightly outside of my reach.
>> No. 22600 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 12:07 am
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So true. They're awful and never even learn how to shag properly. They just lie there.
>> No. 22601 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 12:29 am
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>They just lie there.

Like a stinky starfish. Beautiful people often have other issues.
>> No. 22602 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 12:36 am
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Have you considered that maybe everyone they've have ever been with has been a one pump chump? I've dated a couple of birds I had to "break in", because they didn't know how to have sex properly or understand how enjoyable it can for them, because of shit partners.

You really need to meet the right person at the right time to have a sexual awakening. Some people don't ever experience it.
>> No. 22603 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 1:02 am
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For me? It's the guy from Super. He had the power to pull Liv Tyler.
>> No. 22604 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 4:45 am
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>Have you considered that maybe everyone they've have ever been with has been a one pump chump?

Seems unlikely odds. They don't try because they don't have to.
>> No. 22605 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 6:51 am
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My most attractive female friend is known to lay there like a dead fish during sex, which is strange because she's by far had the highest number of sexual partners.

This is why fucking someone who looks like a 10/10 but has the sexual appetite of a 6/10 would be the dream.
>> No. 22606 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 12:53 pm
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It's true. Attractive birds are terrible in bed, it's all to do with how they've constantly had everything done for them on account of being fit. They hate it the moment they have to do something for someone else's sake.

The most attractive bird I've ever snagged was awful, so bad it broke the relationship down. She blamed it, of all things, on my cock being too big, saying it hurt too much to enjoy, and in the years since she's occasionally done this wierd reverse size humiliation thing where she tells me in detail about the much more satisfying sex she's had with more "average" chaps. Now, I'm not about to reject that kind of compliment- But the fact is it had little to do with the size of my cock and everything to do with the fact she wasn't willing to put the effort into finding ways it felt good. I've never had the same problem with another bird.

My current partner is a solid 7/10, but she has a definite case of Dunning–Kruger effect when it comes to sex, where she thinks she's highly experienced and knows everything when really she's just read a lot of Reddit and can't handle more than five minutes of anal. I've got a good feeling I've fucked more blokes than she has.
>> No. 22607 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 5:31 pm
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The replies in this thread suggest otherwise.
>> No. 22608 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 5:51 pm
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What? No they don't. They're almost all saying the same thing.
>> No. 22609 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 7:33 pm
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I have my own theory on this based on having slept with girls from all over the "objective attractiveness scale", of varying degrees of promiscuity, mental illness, and sexual ability.

Basically the type of lay someone becomes is dependent on the type of sex and the type of sexual partners that someone has during their period of formative sexual development.

If someone has a string of casual sex partners during this period they are very unlikely to develop the intimacy, and therefore the confidence to engage in the kind of sexual exploration that allows a person to find out what both they and other people like in bed. The upshot of this is that girls become dead fish and lads become sweaty humpers.

In contrast if a girl sucks your dick like she's got a PHd in fellatio then I can pretty much guarantee you that somewhere down the line she's had an older, more confident, boyfriend who's taken the time to teach her what to do. Same deal with anal; if a girl genuinely likes it up the chocolate bon bon factory then somewhere down the line she allowed some guy she adored to death to slowly and gently "break her in" to the fine art of backdoor action.

I for one didn't have much of a clue until I ended up shagging a girl who was 5-6 years older than me when I was 21. We were only together for about 5 or 6 months but she turned me from an inexperienced kid into a man who could shag above his weight.
>> No. 22611 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 8:16 pm
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You do get exceptions to this. My last ex sucked my knob like a demon and I was basically only her third or fourth proper sexual partner, she had been in a decently long lived relationship throughout her teens and early twenties until I met her but by the sounds of it he wasn't up to much. I don't think it's as much a case of having an older/more experienced partner to teach you what to do. I think it's more about the intimacy you mentioned, and a natural selflessness that people either have or don't based on other aspects of their upbringing.

I find that the biggest key to sexual chemistry is that they get turned on by the idea of turning you on, and vice versa. I had, until not too long ago, assumed that was a fundamental, natural part of sexuality. That's what makes the chase, the flirtation, the saucy messaging so fun. However, it turns out that there are some people who view sex in pretty much same way as masturbation, only "better" because somebody else is doing the work. The girl who gave me this realisation basically flat out said that she could make do with a dildo if it wasn't for the fact she couldn't quite reach far enough to get the right angle.

Those people can still seem like a really good fuck at first, but you'll gradually notice that they simply don't give much fulfilment. Even if they tick all your deviant fetish boxes you'll eventually begin to feel a cold because they're not doing it for the enjoyment of satisfying one another, it's purely a transactional exchange of orgasms.

Which goes back to the original point. The really pretty girls out there are much more likely to be more selfish, I think. The same probably goes for men, and that's what I think makes for bad sex more than anything. Actual skill comes naturally with time as long as you're not self centred with it.
>> No. 22612 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 10:35 pm
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It's 49% effort, 49% humility and 2% natural talent. Pretty much anyone can become good in bed remarkably quickly if a) they ask you what you like and b) they learn how to do it well. A lot of people are either selfish and lazy, or they have invested their ego in the idea that they're a sex god and know all the right moves. That's why nerdy girls tend to be awkward but eventually excellent in bed - if someone can beat Dark Souls, they'll probably spend the time to figure out how to get you off.

I think time is much less of a factor. If you're both open and communicative and willing to try, you can figure each other out quite well in a single sweaty evening; if you've both lazy or egotistical or prudish, you can go a lifetime without ever really working out how to please each other.
>> No. 22613 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 10:39 pm
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I'd probably go for the genie from Aladdin (post-emancipation from the lamp) because he can do most things plus you get to be voiced by Robin Williams.
>> No. 22614 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 10:41 pm
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Will Smith as Genie in Disney’s Aladdin_resource.jpg
>plus you get to be voiced by Robin Williams

Not anymore you don't.
>> No. 22615 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 11:12 pm
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Just like there are only three Star Wars films and two Terminator films, there is no live-action Aladdin.
>> No. 22616 Anonymous
28th March 2019
Thursday 12:21 am
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Aladdin never sat well with me for this reason. Nobody asked why Genie was enslaved or whether a being that can physically bend reality, to the degree he can make you a celebrated prince, might at least need a background check beforehand.

Incidentally Aladdin doesn't lift a finger to help his new kingdom but spends the film chasing some fanny with similar issues, fuck him and fuck the Sultan for good measure. Jafar did nothing wrong.
>> No. 22617 Anonymous
28th March 2019
Thursday 3:51 am
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And only two Monkey Islands!
>> No. 22618 Anonymous
28th March 2019
Thursday 6:59 am
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Michael Barrymore's said he isn't doing pantomime this year. I did Aladdin a few years back and I've never heard the end of it.
>> No. 22619 Anonymous
28th March 2019
Thursday 8:45 am
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You don't like curse?
>> No. 22620 Anonymous
28th March 2019
Thursday 9:51 am
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>> No. 22663 Anonymous
29th April 2019
Monday 8:44 pm
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No, although it was a long time ago. The graphics were too good, I didn't like that he now had a voice (turned it off), and just my general possibly-unfair-but-perhaps-not sense of things being shit when the original creator leaves.

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