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>> No. 23386 Anonymous
18th November 2020
Wednesday 8:20 pm
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There was an episode of Bernard's Watch where Bernard had stopped time whilst he was on one of his little escapades, trying to catch a rabbit that was on the loose or something like that, and when he unfroze time several hours later it turned out that the chicken his mum had been roasting was burnt to a crisp because it had continued to cook during all of the hours it was frozen.

This has always stayed with me because I thought it was so fucked up. Imagine you've just got into a red hot bath to relax and next thing you know your tender flesh is peeling away from the bone and congealing around you because, completely unbeknownst to you, you've actually been boiled alive for several hours whilst some little scamp has frozen time so he can be at two different friend's birthday parties at the same time or whatever. Fucked up, I tell you.
Expand all images.
>> No. 23387 Anonymous
18th November 2020
Wednesday 8:33 pm
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It does raise some interesting questions about energy and the laws of physics in Bernard's universe.
>> No. 23388 Anonymous
18th November 2020
Wednesday 8:46 pm
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I always wanted the Bernard's Watch finalé to end like the Twilight Zone episode it was based off (presumably, if not it'd be a massive coincidence); Bernie taking too many liberties, breaking the watch whilst in freezetime, and being forced to live forever in a frozen world in which he never ages.
>> No. 23389 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 1:25 am
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>>23388
I'm pretty sure Bernard aged when time was frozen, there was an episode where he hurt himself and wouldn't be able to go on holiday with his family and he just froze time for a week so he could heal
>> No. 23390 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 2:58 am
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My biggest gripe with this show was the fact that for some reason, time being stopped gave him the ability to lift very heavy things that would normally be beyond him. In one episode, he moves a full size bouncy castle under a falling man and saves his live.
>> No. 23391 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 11:28 am
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>>23388

Did something like this happen in The Queen's Nose or Demon Headmaster or something?

I'm sure some of the kids TV in this era had some proper grim themes, covered up by bright jumpers and bowlcuts.
>> No. 23392 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 11:38 am
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>>23388
I think Bernard the little fuck did forget to take it for a service too long and it starting playing up and he basically broke the whole of reality for a while, but then the magic postman guy turned up and deus ex machina'd everything for him.
>> No. 23393 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 11:45 am
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>>23391
I don't think it happened with The Queen's Nose, but I lost interest after it stopped focusing on Harmony and the coin went to weird carny people instead.

Harmony is now a psychotherapist.

https://welldoing.org/email/victoria-shalet-person-centred-humanistic-psychotherapist-london-w1u
>> No. 23394 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 11:49 am
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>>23393

Why did you have to show me this, I'd forgotten about my childhood crush and now she's fucking gorgeous.
>> No. 23395 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 11:50 am
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>>23391
>I'm sure some of the kids TV in this era had some proper grim themes, covered up by bright jumpers and bowlcuts.

A lot of Roald Dalhs books had some dark themes or twists to them, and plenty of 90s kids programming was either directly based on his work or heavily influenced by it. And then of course this was the era of goosebumps, and I think that the short stories by Paul Jennings had a massive influence on me. And then if you think about it you also have childrens cartoons like spiderman which I think were still quite a bit darker in some ways than even adult-orientated superhero movies today.

And then of course going through the optimism of the 2000s all those sorts of darker themes slowly got pushed aside by Harry Potter and LotR driving a big resurgence in fantasy and worlds where good always wins and all your wishes come true.
>> No. 23396 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 11:54 am
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A bit earlier than Bernard's Watch but still full of bowl-cuts and brightly knitted jumpers; was Sapphire & Steel aimed at kids? The first season at least co-starred a pair of children.

>> No. 23397 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 12:31 pm
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>>23395
It seems David Walliams and the like are trying to make a comeback with more cynical kids' books but it does seem rather forced, doesn't it.
>> No. 23398 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 12:34 pm
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>>23386
These days Bernard spends his days tweeting non-stop about Nottingham Forest. He seems like a nice lad.

https://twitter.com/itsmedave41/
>> No. 23399 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 12:56 pm
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>>23397
The PC brigade are angry about the children's books Walliams has written and they seem to have a point; they're not really cynical so much as nasty in the way you should really have expected, coming from the creator of Little Britain.
>> No. 23400 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 1:40 pm
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>>23394
Anyone who preferred Melody over Harmony was a fucking wrong 'un, in my book.

Katy Hill. Harmony from Queen's Nose. Hannah from S Club 7. Cavegirl. Those were the days.
>> No. 23401 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 2:25 pm
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>>23400
> Katy Hill. Harmony from Queen's Nose. Hannah from S Club 7. Cavegirl.

Never forget.
>> No. 23402 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 6:09 pm
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>>23400

Natalie or Serena?
>> No. 23403 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 6:28 pm
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>>23402

Natalie for me every time. Then again I was only about thirteen myself when that show came out.

Didn't the older sister eventually move out and get replaced by some kind of goth cousin or has my long term memory finally turned to fudge?
>> No. 23404 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 7:23 pm
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>>23402
I'd completely forgot that show existed.

Julia Jekyll or Harriet Hyde? Wanked myself silly to her when Sugar Rush was on.
>> No. 23405 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 7:55 pm
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>>23404
I never realised that was the same actress, thanks.
>> No. 23406 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 8:53 pm
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Auntie Mabel or Pippin?
>> No. 23407 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 10:12 pm
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So lads, Tilly, Tom, or Tiny?
>> No. 23408 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 10:14 pm
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>>23407
Is Rosie supposed to be Romany or black?
>> No. 23409 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 10:15 pm
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>>23406
Fun fact: the second Pippin was the dog in the Bakers logo.
>> No. 23410 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 10:43 pm
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>>23408
Rosie is mixed race but what you could call a new age traveller. She met Jim who is one of the last of those canal boat people who used to transport coal and settled down. I don't like to think about how they're creepy dolls that come alive when nobody is looking because it's a bit unsettling.

Nobody told me this but for some reason its the story that has been in my mind since I saw the show.
>> No. 23411 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 11:36 pm
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>>23407

Absolute pricks.

>>23408

That concertina is a cheap piece of tat and the Ragdoll is a horrible sardine can of a boat.

Little felt bastards with their knitting wool hair, trying to steal your soul when you aren't looking. Send them all back to whatever haberdashery they came from.
>> No. 23412 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 2:31 am
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Maybe we should move this on to /x/
>> No. 23413 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 6:45 am
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>>23412
None of us mentioned the episode of Bernard's Watch with Leslie Grantham.
>> No. 23414 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 10:46 am
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>>23413
Fucking hell what's going on here? Is he going to send him on a conveyer belt towards a buzzsaw like in a Bond supervillain? I thought Bernard's Watch was supposed to be about stopping time because his mum forgot to get milk from the shops and the like.
>> No. 23415 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 11:03 am
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>>23414
Different times.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asL8xuZa9Vk
>> No. 23416 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 11:10 am
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>>23415
Hah! Hilarious!
>> No. 23417 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 11:28 am
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Do you reckon you could knock someone out with a sack of spuds to their bonce?
>> No. 23418 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 11:37 am
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>>23417
Frozen, maybe.
>> No. 23419 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 11:39 am
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2e229FQwEs
>> No. 23420 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 11:39 am
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>>23417

Thrown, no. Dropped from height, yes.
>> No. 23421 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 11:44 am
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>>23420
What if you twatted them with it? A big back of baking potatoes.
>> No. 23422 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 11:45 am
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>>23419

>> No. 23423 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 11:52 am
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>>23420

Makes sense. The terminal velocity of a 3"3, or 300g potato is about 92m/s which is more than double the upper velocity a human can throw.
>> No. 23424 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 11:56 am
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>>23423
I'd imagine some form of slingshot would work as well.
>> No. 23425 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 11:59 am
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>>23424
Your average* person can easily match that speed with an atlatl, if they know what they're doing.

*in good shape, so not an average modern Anglo.
>> No. 23426 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 12:11 pm
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>>23421

Maybe if I whirled it around like a discus thrower, but I suspect that the loose spuds would dissipate a lot of the energy. It'd be a nasty knock, but I wouldn't bank on it as a knockout blow. I'd be more confident with one big spud in a football sock.
>> No. 23427 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 12:26 pm
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>>23425
Even a spear with a potato on the end of it?
>> No. 23428 Anonymous
20th November 2020
Friday 12:44 pm
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>>23427
Drop a spud in one of these, should be about the same.

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