Do you need to come out and make a big deal about announcing it if you're bisexual? I instinctively knew I was when I was younger, but my attraction to other males is different from my attraction to females. I also was kind of groomed by an older man when I was 11-12, and I shaped my identity at that age around trying to integrate what had happened. It could have been worse, but it still messed with my head and my development. I repressed these kind of things as I reached my mid-teens, because I was more concerned with pulling girls and scoring points with my mates, but as I approached 20 I knew quite clearly that I put a bit of homosauce on my fish and chips.

I didn't really want to be bisexual when I properly understood my sexuality, because I felt like I was just stuck in the middle identity wise. Flaming homos kind of repulse me, but then so do student, rugby playing ultra-lads, so it's not a prejudice. I used to talk about this when I was younger on occasion, trying to work myself out, and really compared with my hetero encounters I'm only a couple of steps from virginity. But I don't really relate to gay culture, my outward self is pretty straight, with a few camp tendencies - at least I think. And that's not a deliberate act, I try to be honest with myself. Either way, I've not talked about these things for years but a girl I slept with recently asked me if I was bi, because she'd heard I was. So most of my friends and acquaintances know already, I forget that while I was working this out in my late teens and the start of my 20s I was quite open about it. Now I'm shy about, I've accepted it without any shame, but the idea of having a boyfriend still seems weird, distant and alien to me. Also, that would involve telling my parents.

It might be that I've reached a level of maturity where it's not all about sex. I enjoy the platonic company of males and females, and despite being quite introverted I'm very much a social person. It wouldn't be a massive difference to me if I was in a partnered relationship with either gender (don't even go there, moralfag), but the sex thing is going to be an issue. If I have a girlfriend for too long I feel the need to deliver a bumming, and I've never had a 'facebook official' or even a relationship I'd acknowledge to friends with another man. That's still weird to me at this point.

This girl asking me directly though made me realise I'm not harbouring some secret alter life, and that you need to act on these things in a healthy way, because anything you repress will find its way out in other ways anyway. So it's acceptance time for me. I like to think of it as a rap battle between queefs and farts, that can never be won because they just sound the same to me.

We live in a society where sexual freedom is something of your own making, thankfully for me. I didn't want to be bisexual, but I am, so I've just got to go with it. A lot of men are still repulsed by male homosexuality, and some still assume that you look at them the way they look at girls, which I personally don't - as I mentioned earlier my attraction to males is pretty specific and not the same as my attraction to females, which is the regular kind. Something that amuses me though is how many allegedly straight friends will come on to you when they're fucked up once they know you dance with dicks, as well as doing the flange tango. I think everyone is a bit gay when they want to be, call it homosituational.

Should I tell my parents, though? If I was 100% homo I would have done already, because it would define my lifestyle, and this doesn't for me. Should I tell them if I ever start going out with a man? I'm not sure that would happen at this point in my life, but who knows.