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>> No. 426868 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 5:49 pm
426868 Dream Thread Mk. II
Fitter when she was fat edition.

You know the drill lads. Here are a few helpful links in order to help you further your proficiency at dreaming, and hopefully elevate the quality of discussion about our nocturnal adventures:



143 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 434571 Anonymous
19th February 2020
Wednesday 10:10 pm
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>I'm still dreaming
>> No. 434598 Anonymous
20th February 2020
Thursday 10:45 am
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My dream brain seems to be convinced I own a terraced house somewhere. I've been dreaming about it occasionally for a couple of years now. It's become a bit derelict as obviously I don't live there myself but last night someone was advising me to get a small farm grant (?) from the government that would come to about 40k and as long as I did some minimal lip service to qualify it as a "farm" I could spend the rest on doing it up. It's a slightly weird property but remarkably consistent from one dream to the next.
>> No. 434679 Anonymous
21st February 2020
Friday 8:02 pm
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I was being held prisoner by the North Korean government along with a few other westerners. For political purposes we were kept in relative comfort, only having to attend classes on Juche and perform strenuous agricultural work for nebulous socialist reasons.

Sooner or later I knew we would be transferred to one of the labour camps when the public interest back home died down. Then I'd die when one of the guards fancies smashing a foreigners head in. I also knew that if I was caught trying to escape I would be moved to a labour camp anyway. My conundrum was do I try my luck trying to escape or do I at least stay in the warm for a little while longer.

Seemed rational to try and run early when the guards wouldn't expect it and maybe I'd just get shot on my feet.

What kind of farm are you thinking? Are you going to buy a load of chickens to live in the house like a giant chicken coop and slowly close rooms of the house off as you fix them up?
>> No. 434680 Anonymous
21st February 2020
Friday 8:04 pm
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Weird coincidence this just came up on the BBC website:
>> No. 434709 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 12:13 am
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Where is her picture? I can't evaluate whether the story is worth reading without knowing if she was worth betraying his employer.
>> No. 434981 Anonymous
29th February 2020
Saturday 11:16 am
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A manager from had gone to california for a wedding
and come back.

I'd gone on holiday there the next week. I'm walking along, and overhear two brits talking about the manager, and it turned out they were the couple who got married.

Went to a party later with them and maybe some other people i know. things got a bit weird and the couple commited suicide by jumping into a river in the garden at this party, and drowning.

Turns out they were fine and a friend had slipped me some acid. Sissy acid he called it, because it wasn't very strong.

Later I'm down at the tip of california, railyards and stuff, and some disused ramshackle flats. For some reason I'm wandering about the flats, checking if any of the electricity supplies and appliances still work. Turns out my dad is living next door in a slightly less ramshackle place.

I'm with some old friends out and about somewhere. I go for a piss and I'm pissing at this urinal. Then this cleaning lady tells me to stop because of maintenance or something,
and I start to hover off the ground by a few feet. I hovered outside to a lobby, and no-one seemed that suprised or that bothered. After a few minutes I landed.
>> No. 435123 Anonymous
6th March 2020
Friday 1:40 pm
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I dreamed that i woke up in the dark and felt the cool air on my back as i sat up. Stumbling to my feet and over to the wall, i felt the burn of light from beneath my eyelids as i hit the light switch. I Turned around, open my eyes and saw my bed laid open before me. Suddenly i found myself back in bed, waking up in a dark room. This process repeated 3 times, each thinking "i'm definitely awake now".

During this/these dream/s i found it very difficult to move and breath. The fourth time i managed to fully wake up and put the radio on, seemingly breaking the cycle. It was really weird.

Does anyone actually read these or is it just a thread for datamining our psyche?
>> No. 435126 Anonymous
6th March 2020
Friday 3:41 pm
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> Does anyone actually read these or is it just a thread for datamining our psyche?

Well my dream about shagging Sarah Millican from the other week seemed to draw actual interest from otherlad, and gave us a new but slightly obscure word filter.
>> No. 435199 Anonymous
8th March 2020
Sunday 6:59 pm
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To be honest I only just realised this was the dream thread and that the one with the lads from the Fosters ads had died. Whenever I see the picture of the bird on /*/ I just assume it's from /x/ and scroll past.
>> No. 435206 Anonymous
8th March 2020
Sunday 7:47 pm
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And thus my fight against the closure of the fosters thread is validated.
>> No. 435245 Anonymous
9th March 2020
Monday 7:26 pm
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>and that the one with the lads from the Fosters ads had died.

It's sort of been retired, I think I saw it on page two or three of /b/ a few weeks ago. You could probably still post in it, but then incur the wrath of the mods who will tell you that we can't have that sort of thing.
>> No. 435551 Anonymous
22nd March 2020
Sunday 7:04 am
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When I was 14/15 there was a lass who fancied the pants off of me but I was rather oblivious to the whole thing. On reflection I'm not entirely sure how as, at one point, she decided we were girlfriend and boyfriend; I really was as thick as shit back then and missed so many chances with the opposite sex. I can't recall having a crush on her but she was exactly the type of girl I'd go for.

Anyway, I dreamt last night that I didn't miss those great big massive fuck off signals she was sending my way and I hooked up with her. In other words, whilst sleeping next to my wife I spent the night dreaming about lots of shagging with a lass I haven't thought about in about 15 years.
>> No. 435552 Anonymous
22nd March 2020
Sunday 11:49 am
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Dreaming about shagging 15yr olds is illegal in Britain.
>> No. 435553 Anonymous
22nd March 2020
Sunday 12:31 pm
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Thinking about him dreaming about it is illegal too then. So you're both nicked, and so am I.
>> No. 435554 Anonymous
22nd March 2020
Sunday 12:52 pm
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If you're also 15 in the dream then it's alright.
>> No. 435555 Anonymous
22nd March 2020
Sunday 1:39 pm
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I had a dream that I was back in school and studying for my A levels, but I was doing them at the other school in my hometown, not my actual school that I went to. I kept telling people in my dream that it only made sense to go back to a different school, because I already knew what my old school was like, so where would the fun have been in that.

It was only when somebody asked me, "Do you think it makes much sense in the first place to retake your A levels in middle age?" that I thought, "Right, what am I doing here with all these kids half my age. Even a few of the teachers are younger than me!"
>> No. 435556 Anonymous
22nd March 2020
Sunday 2:57 pm
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It's always the lasses you could've shagged by didn't that make the memories that haunt you.
>> No. 435557 Anonymous
22nd March 2020
Sunday 10:31 pm
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Not necessarily. It's entirely possible that a lass that you shagged on a regular basis for four or five years can mess you up so badly that you'll never quite move on completely.
>> No. 435558 Anonymous
22nd March 2020
Sunday 10:50 pm
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Apples and oranges. A lass you've been shagging for half a decade might give you nightmares and a lifetime or therapy, but a lass you managed to fuck up shagging will always have you thinking "what if?".
>> No. 435559 Anonymous
22nd March 2020
Sunday 11:08 pm
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>but a lass you managed to fuck up shagging will always have you thinking "what if?".

I think that only becomes a real problem if you didn't shag many lasses to begin with. True, there's one lass that I keep thinking about, I really regret fucking things up on the two or three dates we had, because that's really what happened. I fucked up. But even though she had a body that was beyond anybody's wet dreams, and a nice enough personality as far as I was able to tell, there were enough other lasses in my life as a younglad to get over one botched date.
>> No. 435562 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 12:20 am
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>I think that only becomes a real problem if you didn't shag many lasses to begin with.

How many's enough? Every summer I'll have a dream about this girl or that. It's like the curse of colleague dreams only without the instantaneous removal of any tinted glasses when you next interact.
>> No. 435564 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 12:49 am
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I've shagged objectively too many lasses and I still think about the ones I missed.

I suppose for anyone in the healthy middle ground of bedpost notches you're probably right, though. For me it's like having all the pokemon in pokemon red except Bellsprout and you don't know anyone with Bellsprout.
>> No. 435565 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:24 am
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I'm pretty sure to some extent there's always an impulse for a bloke to shag more women. No matter how many you've shagged, more and new ones will play on your mind.

Personally I've got this annoying thing where whatever girl I'm currently in a relationship, I always have a rose tinted fantasy about fucking the previous ex. It always seems like the sex was better with the last girl, regardless of if it was or not, and I always have to fight down the lust and stop myself from texting them. It becomes an utter pre-occupation sometimes.

Nothing's ever easy is it.
>> No. 435566 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 9:10 am
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I remember one occasion where I was out at a pub with my then-girlfriend, and suddenly ran into my ex. We talked for a moment, as there was never bad blood between us, just the realisation that we were no good match at all when we broke up. Anyway, that night when my girlfriend and I went home, we had some of the best sex ever, at least as far as she was concerned. But the reality was, meeting my ex gave me that tingle in my groin, and I kept thinking about the sex I had with her, even while I was in bed with my girlfriend, so I was essentially shagging my girlfriend but phantasizing about my ex the whole time. Which gave me a proper stonk on, and which was probably the reason my performance that night was so pleasant for my girlfriend. But I never told her that, because it seemed like something that only would have hurt her. I just didn't want to take the illusion from her that it was all because she herself was such a turn on.
>> No. 435568 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 12:38 pm
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I find the fact you both know about fucking pokemon and shagged more lasses than I did utterly fucking depressing. In my day kids like you got stomped on in the playground and had your gameboys nicked.
>> No. 435569 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 12:43 pm
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As a lifelong virginlad, it's hard to not get huffy at people like >>435564, but then I have to remind myself that I'm the pathetic freak and everyone's problems are at different levels.

At least this year means that I can use the experience I have in being a lonely cunt.
>> No. 435570 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 1:24 pm
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If I was on my deathbed and someone asked me what I most regretted about my shagging career I'd have to say it was being too conscientious.

Sometimes I think I did the right thing, like the two virgin lasses I could have strung on for a few months even though I wasn't looking for the same level of commitment as they were. Other times I was simply a mug; staying faithful to lasses who were playing away behind my back, thinking myself virtuous for knocking back their mates and sometimes even their sisters.

Basically if god could leave me a birthmark spelling out "shag everyone you want and do all the drugs you can" next time around I'll probably have a happier life.
>> No. 435571 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 1:37 pm
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>As a lifelong virginlad

Not meaning to twist the knife, but I think a lot of late virgins struggle to lose their virginity because they overthink everything. Maybe that's true in your case also. And seeing yourself as a pathetic freak also doesn't help much.
>> No. 435572 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 1:42 pm
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At one point Pokemon was popular among the entire fucking school, nationwide.
>> No. 435573 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 1:56 pm
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The only games that were ever popular at my school were 10p up and nutmeg rush.
>> No. 435574 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:01 pm
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I know one lass who's still a virgin at 31, which probably seems unthinkable while Mars and Earth align but there you go - between being a bit of a salad dodger, concentrating on her masters and then her PhD, and having a checklist of deal breakers as long as your arm that's where she's ended up.

One of these days I'll forget to take my lithium for a week, have a sub-manic episode and finally go spelunking her lady cave. Then hate myself for a month.
>> No. 435575 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:03 pm
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I was 10 or 11 when Red and Blue were released here. Everyone had it. Everyone had the cards. It would have been weirder to not know about pokemon during this time at that age.

If it helps, I was still, underneath it all, miserable during most of my peak shagging (and drugs) years, I was just going too hard to notice. I was a fucking mess. I guess if I was honest I wouldn't change much, though, just maybe have a bit more down time.
>> No. 435576 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:06 pm
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Can you describe them to us?
>> No. 435577 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:11 pm
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10p up: A group of lads would throw 10p coins (or 20p if really wanted to up the stakes) at a playground wall. Whoever got their coin closest to the wall without bouncing back off it would win all the coins.

Nutmeg rush: A group of lads would kick a crushed coke can around with the idea of "nutmegging" someone (getting the can to pass between their legs). When someone was nutmegged they would run for their lives while everyone in the playground, whether they'd been playing or not would give chase like a fucking lynch mob. If you made it to the dinner hall you had "rushed" and were given reprieve, if you got caught you got seventeen shades of shit kicked out of you.

I think I went to school in a very different time and place to you young ossetlads with your gameboys and your pokemons.
>> No. 435578 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:12 pm
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I think you're exaggerating from your own experience there mate. I've always been into videogames, and was 11 when that Pokemon craze happened but I couldn't tell you anything much about it - JRPGs have never really done it for me, and the TV show was shite. I don't actually remember the cards, I thought that was Yu-Gi-Oh but I guess Pokemon did it too.
>> No. 435579 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:13 pm
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Well it didn't involve any sexual abuse so you're definitely weren't at Eton.
>> No. 435580 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:16 pm
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I could only tell you about Red/Blue and the TV show, and obviously I'm talking about my own experience, but my own experience was that everyone in the school was into it. They banned pokemon cards eventually because kids kept throwing piles of cards into crowds (we called them chucky outs) and injuries were sustained in the scrabble.
>> No. 435581 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:18 pm
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>10p up: A group of lads would throw 10p coins (or 20p if really wanted to up the stakes) at a playground wall. Whoever got their coin closest to the wall without bouncing back off it would win all the coins.

We had that but with some blind bag bits of plastic, little characters that I can't remember the name of - go go bones? something like that. The same game made exponentially more expensive and addictive through the magic of late 90s marketing.
>> No. 435583 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:44 pm
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>and having a checklist of deal breakers as long as your arm that's where she's ended up

That's probably her whole trouble. Plenty of young women are career driven and focused on their academic achievements, but they still find the time to have the odd shag or even a long-term relationship.

I think what happens while you are still a virgin, and this is also kind of true while you're still a teenlad or teenlass and thus haven't really missed the boat yet, is that you tend to over-idealise your perceptions of what a relationship or a partner should be like. A lot of virgins have quite stringent ideas about how they want their partner, or sexual mate to be. Most people, upon actually shagging someone for the first time and then spending some time with then, will then realise that all those ideas about the perfect mate tend to be just a bunch of tosh. You are going to have to make do with the kinds of mates you manage to attract, for better or worse, and make the best of it. Maybe you'll still find your soulmate who's also a rich supermodel and a famous doctor, but it's more than likely that you won't, ever, if that's your dream partner. And I guess that's just the one fundamental realisation that eludes many virgins, and keeps them from getting out there and just trying a few things.

I was slightly late to lose my virginity at age 21, but it indeed happened relatively quickly after I finally said to myself, sod it, nothing's gonna come from just sitting there dreaming about Ms. Right, I'm gonna go and see what's out there for me. And that's what then got me laid a good bit in the following years.

All those illusions that it has to be the perfect person for you or nobody can in the end very well result in there being nobody for you after all.
>> No. 435584 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:48 pm
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>go go bones
Thanks for that, I've often wondered what they were called.
>> No. 435585 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:50 pm
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A bit more research and I've found they were called GoGo's Crazy Bones
>> No. 435586 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:57 pm
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They're called that because the game was originally played with knuckle bones.
>> No. 435587 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 2:58 pm
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I don't think the ones I had were crazy bones. They were monsters. Slimy snotty looking ones. Some of them had a bit where you heated it up with your finger and it told you their score or something like that. I remember one that was like an alien monster vacuum cleaner.
>> No. 435588 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 4:02 pm
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Monster In My Pocket? Or Boglins? They were earlier. Weirdly I can remember their names easily.
>> No. 435594 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 5:54 pm
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You're evidently older than us then to be honest lad, nobody was bullying anybody for Pokemon when I was at school, because everyone was into it. Everyone.

There are people of a certain age (~2 years of my own, and I'm 30 this year) who I simply don't trust if they don't have intimate knowledge of Pokemon, be it the games, card game, or just the anime. It's like Harry Potter, nobody says they're a "Potter fan" unless they're a mentalist, but it's just taken as a given to be part of your shared cultural background.
>> No. 435600 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 10:22 pm
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It's not nice to remind people of their advanced years in times like this.
>> No. 435602 Anonymous
23rd March 2020
Monday 10:33 pm
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Yeah you're a good generation younger than me and probably went to a school with a lot less urban yootz. Good for you lad.
>> No. 435653 Anonymous
26th March 2020
Thursday 1:45 am
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One of you left a post that was also an envelope full of money for people to take as and when they needed it. I don't really need anything, but I liked the dream logic of being able to post a physical wad of cash onto the net, so I'm telling you all about it now.
>> No. 435688 Anonymous
26th March 2020
Thursday 11:56 pm
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Mike Nolan.jpg
I got a chuckle out of this picturing myself being paid for dreaming overtime - cash in hand.

I'd probably do overtime in my sleep if I could.
>> No. 435703 Anonymous
27th March 2020
Friday 7:16 pm
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I've recently been having dreams where I've been living entirely alternate lives.

The other day I woke up feeling like Arnold Rimmer in "Thanks for the memory" after having spent the whole night dreaming about a perfect girlfriend who never existed.

Last night I was dreaming that I was in uni as a foreign exchange student. Not only were all the popular birds dead into me and my ability to speak their language but I was training with and doing private lessons daily with one of my jiu jitsu heroes.

I don't think I have to get on the old ouija board to Sigmund to figure out what's going on in my subconscious lately.

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