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>> No. 426868 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 5:49 pm
426868 Dream Thread Mk. II
Fitter when she was fat edition.

You know the drill lads. Here are a few helpful links in order to help you further your proficiency at dreaming, and hopefully elevate the quality of discussion about our nocturnal adventures:



710 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 444853 Anonymous
3rd July 2021
Saturday 12:36 am
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Also the technology is fundamentally different. Buses and trains use series hybrid systems, which are basically just an electric motor hooked up to a diesel generator. Hybrid cars use parallel hybrid, where both the electric motor and the petrol engine are connected to the wheels. Parallel hybrid systems are more complex, but they allow for clever tricks to boost performance and improve efficiency, particularly on small engines with big turbochargers.

With that said, hybrid is a stopgap technology - the (very near) future is pure electric.
>> No. 444854 Anonymous
3rd July 2021
Saturday 12:52 am
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Surely with the growing popularity of SUVs and the like, we can extrapolate that the average car will be bigger than a Plaxton Paladin by 2026?
>> No. 445069 Anonymous
19th July 2021
Monday 12:18 am
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I had a dream that I was in prison. It was for insulting somebody on the Internet or something.
>> No. 445070 Anonymous
19th July 2021
Monday 7:45 am
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I was at a cash machine and it kept spitting loads of money out. I took it home for safe keeping, because I was going to return the money and didn't trust anyone else in that position to but CCTV images of me at the cash machine made the news before I had the chance to do anything, so I was the subject of a witch hunt.
>> No. 445261 Anonymous
26th July 2021
Monday 12:07 pm
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A woman in an office I used to work in visited me while I was in bed. I quickly got my work laptop out and went straight to business to cover the fact that I had just woken up. After a while she awkwardly left and another woman I used to work with came in. "Oh for fucks sake, can't I get some peace!" I thought to myself.

Went straight to work again to resolve her queries but she became annoyed and left repeatedly saying that she won't be visiting me again. Then I realised that it was my birthday and they'd really come to say hello and wish me a happy birthday. Maybe I should be less emotionally detached at work and also in my personal life but that's difficult.

I remember something like this making the news once, a cash machine was spitting out £20 to anyone that asks for £10 so it quickly became very popular with people emptying their accounts. The bank was fine with it and let them all off.

In your next dream just take the money.
>> No. 445457 Anonymous
3rd August 2021
Tuesday 9:24 pm
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Scarlett Moffatt cries as she posts first bikini picture in five years

>> No. 445458 Anonymous
3rd August 2021
Tuesday 9:52 pm
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She looks like a heavily facelifted 50 year old.

Your options may be limited with that kind of figure, but that bikini is disturbingly unflattering.
>> No. 445459 Anonymous
3rd August 2021
Tuesday 9:54 pm
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Phwoaaar. Back on form.

Saving that picture until it's time to make a new thread.
>> No. 445463 Anonymous
3rd August 2021
Tuesday 10:20 pm
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>Saving that picture until it's time to make a new thread

I would favour Sarah Millican for the next thread. After all, she is the other patron saint of .gs, and let's not forget about fruit and veg.
>> No. 445464 Anonymous
3rd August 2021
Tuesday 10:22 pm
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Sarah Millican_jpg_gallery.jpg

>fruit and veg

What happened to Sarah Millican's Squelchy Fanny Custard?
>> No. 445465 Anonymous
3rd August 2021
Tuesday 10:30 pm
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Sarah Millican's Squelchy Fanny Custard?
>> No. 445466 Anonymous
3rd August 2021
Tuesday 10:39 pm
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It used to be the word filter for this.
>> No. 445472 Anonymous
4th August 2021
Wednesday 6:43 am
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It still is.

Sarah Millican's Squelchy Fanny Custard.
>> No. 445492 Anonymous
4th August 2021
Wednesday 9:35 pm
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You'll find it's Sarah Millican's Squelchy Fanny Custard.
>> No. 445493 Anonymous
4th August 2021
Wednesday 9:37 pm
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Interesting. Wonder how I got fruit and veg. Is this one case sensitive?
>> No. 445500 Anonymous
5th August 2021
Thursday 10:50 am
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I got up late today because I needed to finish eating my slice of Black Forest gateau. I don't think I've seen any for about 20 years but I'll be on the lookout now.
>> No. 445501 Anonymous
5th August 2021
Thursday 1:41 pm
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The ones you can get frozen at Tesco's or Asda are a bit different from the original. Just subtle ways in which they aren't the real thing, if you've ever eaten black forest gateau in the Fatherland.
>> No. 445750 Anonymous
18th August 2021
Wednesday 9:31 am
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I was having a lovely and innocent time with a woman, as we discussed how intelligent her young dog was, when my brain decided it was all too relaxing and we ought to have three grotesque and humungous spiders start crawling over the walls. They were so vivid it's taken my heart the best part of an hour to settle down. I even tried to look the big man to the dream girl by offering to collect and dispose of the first, who had a leg span almost as large as a CD and a perfectly spherical abdomen, until it was persued by the second which had legs over a foot and looked like a massive, chitinous, giant house spider and with that we decided to leave the room. The third showed up just as I was waking and it looked like a dark brown orb web.

I do not care for spiders.
>> No. 445751 Anonymous
18th August 2021
Wednesday 9:45 am
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I woke up to the feeling of something crawling on my arm, which turned out to be a spider.
>> No. 445781 Anonymous
19th August 2021
Thursday 5:28 pm
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I was selling some retro games to CEX, and the girl who served me was the typical mosher/goth/emo type, dyed purple hair, pale and spotty, heavy eyeliner. Anyway, I got £83 for my games which was alright, and then she asked if I was free in the evening. I met up with her after she finished work, and she said "you're either gonna cum up my arse, or I'll cum up yours", and I cheated on my gf with her.
>> No. 446057 Anonymous
9th September 2021
Thursday 9:23 am
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I was at my dentist's to have one or two cavities taken care of. He then suddenly handed me a written estimate that said it would cost over £10,000 which I had to pay myself. I said, "Oh you're having a fucking laugh!" and left.
>> No. 446237 Anonymous
17th September 2021
Friday 11:30 pm
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Last night I had my first experience with sleep paralysis.
Must have just drifted off then woke up soon after but I couldn't move. The strange part was I could hear a noise, similar to music being played through earphones rather loud and it was getting closer.
Felt like 10 seconds before I could move and the noise suddenly went.
>> No. 446242 Anonymous
18th September 2021
Saturday 5:26 am
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I keep having a dream that my girlfriend and I break up, she sleeps with someone else and then we get back together. It's happened so often I'm finding it hard to know for certain that this didn't happen, but I can't plausibly think when this would have happened.
>> No. 446653 Anonymous
3rd October 2021
Sunday 8:50 am
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Ever since I started watching Mythic Quest I've been having regular sexual dreams about Jessie Ennis.
>> No. 446654 Anonymous
3rd October 2021
Sunday 11:59 am
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I fell asleep on a train from London to Edinburgh. When I awoke the train had looped back and had now stopped in some shithole market town at night. I got off to see if I could go the opposite way or ride to a rail hub but there was nothing going on and only a corner shop open for food. It was in the North East but felt like the midlands, that's how bad this town was.

In another dream I got a twitter account and it was shit.
>> No. 446655 Anonymous
3rd October 2021
Sunday 12:50 pm
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She is pleasingly plump.
>> No. 446656 Anonymous
3rd October 2021
Sunday 1:03 pm
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Your dreams are so mundane, are you ever truly sure you're awake?
>> No. 446657 Anonymous
3rd October 2021
Sunday 1:54 pm
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In dreams to strategize about my waking life. On the train I should've considered any later stops before getting off as it might still save time or at least not have me freezing in an open train station until 6am, Newcastle or maybe even Leeds.

Of course twitter doesn't make any sense. The level of self-censorship professionals must exercise render the service useless.
>> No. 446659 Anonymous
3rd October 2021
Sunday 2:24 pm
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She's certainly changed a lot since the Olympics.
>> No. 446925 Anonymous
14th October 2021
Thursday 5:42 pm
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I was at the petrol station and the man in front of me in the queue started trying to kill everyone. He didn't have any weapons but he could only be temporarily subdued, we smashed him over the head with a fire extinguisher, and he still got up ten seconds later.

At that point we just decided to run, and I got in my car with the YouTuber jayztwocents. He ended up jumping in the driver's side and he reassured me he knows how to "drive stick", but I became increasingly irate at him revving the arse off the engine before changing gear, like my ex used to.
>> No. 447342 Anonymous
25th October 2021
Monday 4:32 pm
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I was back in secondary school, and got sent to the head teacher's office for punishment for some sort of misdemeanour, but he wasn't there, only his secretary who looked like my old therapist (cross between Dawn French and Liza Tarbuck), who got naked and sat on my face. The head teacher came back and it was Seymour Skinner. Then I woke up with a jolt which woke my partner up.
>> No. 447343 Anonymous
25th October 2021
Monday 5:31 pm
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>looked like my old therapist (cross between Dawn French and Liza Tarbuck),
I immediately knew where this was going.
>> No. 447346 Anonymous
25th October 2021
Monday 5:57 pm
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Just the one jolt, or four or five?
>> No. 447349 Anonymous
25th October 2021
Monday 6:31 pm
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I was in a cheap hotel in Clacton-on-Sea. They didn't even have fish and chips at their restaurant, so I started wandering the streets desperately looking for a chip shop, complaining to passers-by that there were absurdly no fucking chip shops in the whole of Clacton.
>> No. 447374 Anonymous
26th October 2021
Tuesday 7:30 pm
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I was trying to make steak tartare, I did so by frying beef mince with onions, using my hand as a spatula. Then I played the first Assassin's Creed and it held up really well.
>> No. 447375 Anonymous
26th October 2021
Tuesday 7:53 pm
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I keep forgetting this is the dream thread, half-writing angry posts and then having to delete them. Shame to let it go to waste though: STEAK TARTARE IS SUPPOSED TO BE RAW YOU THICK CU
>> No. 447377 Anonymous
26th October 2021
Tuesday 10:01 pm
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Yeah that was the most confusing thing. In the dream I knew it was meant to be raw, yet I continued frying it in the pan, knowing it wouldn't be steak tartate.
>> No. 447419 Anonymous
28th October 2021
Thursday 3:31 pm
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How was Asscreed though?
>> No. 447420 Anonymous
28th October 2021
Thursday 3:49 pm
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The controls were tight and combat was a lot of fun. Which I don't think apply to the original game in reality.
>> No. 447431 Anonymous
29th October 2021
Friday 10:12 am
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I can't remember any specifics about the dream other than at one point I was rating bumholes.
>> No. 447464 Anonymous
30th October 2021
Saturday 5:06 pm
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This is a very uninteresting game, but I dreamt that Rolento was in Street Fighter V and was the best and most fun character to play as. He didn't look like Rolento in my dream, but I still identified him as Rolento. My partner said I kept clicking my fingers and talking in my sleep, maybe this is related.
>> No. 447465 Anonymous
30th October 2021
Saturday 5:30 pm
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I've had two dreams now where I'm shagging my ex, and both times it turned out we were being watched.

The first time I went round to visit her, she had texted me in desperation to help fix her leaky roof and we ended up fucking in front of the open wall where they were having an extension built, and it turned out the house opposite could see straight in. The second time we were in one of my mate's old houses where they had a bedroom on the lower floor for some reason, and I looked over to see the neighbours peering in through the window.

I'm not sure what exactly that implies from a subconscious symbolism point of view. I haven't even spoken to said ex in maybe two and a half years, and while I do occasionally still dig some of her material out of the wank bank, I'm not sure I was exactly pining for her. I mean I wouldn't say no if she asked me for a fuck out of the blue, but even if I wanted to slide into her DMs, I can't, since we have a few mutual friends and it would no doubt just turn out to be an embarrassment for me.

Maybe it's something to do with that.
>> No. 447466 Anonymous
30th October 2021
Saturday 5:51 pm
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How much awake shagging have you been doing?
>> No. 447476 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 9:27 pm
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I dreamt I was in some kind of school/workplace hybrid, doing work in a large open plan cafeteria-like hall. Mark Hamill was the teacher/boss.

He confronted me at my desk with a bug zapper I own and asked me if it was mine and if it was a toy. I said yes it's mine and no it's not a toy. He said 'good' and switched it on and attached it to the table next to mine, which then caught fire. I suppose he was trying to make some point about it being a fire risk.

After that Hamill stood at the end of the hall leaning against a desk with his eyes closed. I imagined he was waiting for the end of the lesson/workday so he could lecture me on my way out, so instead of waiting I marched up there and asked if he had something he wanted to say to me.

He launched into a collection of anecdotes about his time filming Star Wars, talking about such and such actor or crew member and what they were doing. I thought he was building up to a moral lesson he going to impart to me but instead he just kept going on with his anecdotes. He must have prepared them in advance because he had even brought comic-book illustrations along with him.
>> No. 448018 Anonymous
22nd November 2021
Monday 8:40 am
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I just had a dream that my bank called me and questioned the legality of certain money transfers I had made into my ISA. I told them that I earned it by making profitable stock investments that I had just sold off, but the guy said, "Be that as it may, I feel we have to report you to HMRC".
>> No. 448027 Anonymous
22nd November 2021
Monday 11:27 pm
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For some reason I was slicing up the palm of my hand with a tomato knife. When I woke up my hand was painful all on its own. I couldn't stop looking at it.
>> No. 448045 Anonymous
23rd November 2021
Tuesday 11:12 pm
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I had a dream that I was suffering from schizophrenia, and that I was hearing voices in my head that were telling me to do all kinds of bad things.

It was a genuinely disturbing dream, and I then woke up and left the light on for the rest of the night, because I was afraid the voices would come back.
>> No. 448046 Anonymous
24th November 2021
Wednesday 1:54 am
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Dreamt that my grandma had passed away in her sleep, and I found her in her bed in the morning. The bulk of the dream was me trying to decide whether you're supposed to call 999, 101, or just find the local police station number, or if indeed there was a special "my grandma has died in an entirely expected fashion" sort of number.

This is a question I definitely have considered in real life, I definitely don't think calling 999 was the right thing to do when my grandad died of his fourth heart attack a day after leaving hospital specifically so he could go and die at home, but I suppose the cleaning lady probably panicked.
>> No. 448051 Anonymous
24th November 2021
Wednesday 10:41 am
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I was going to a meetup event at a bar somewhere up the northern line from Waterloo - let's say Leicester Square. We got to this bar and for some reason I was obsessed in calculating 77% of the distance between Waterloo and this bar. Just ignoring people trying to chat to me so I can scrawl out some calculations on a piece of paper.
>> No. 448073 Anonymous
25th November 2021
Thursday 7:59 pm
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I was driving through town in the dark when there were suddenly a few members of the local public drinking community blocking the road, all of whom were wearing bright yellow high visibility vests. So I rolled down the window and said to them, "You are a right lot... can't be arsed to get a job, but you care that you don't get run over!".

Didn't think the dream me was that judgemental.

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