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>> No. 427901 Anonymous
23rd June 2019
Sunday 8:43 pm
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Has anyone ever attempted to make a foodstuff that is 100% useful to your body where none of it will be shat out the other end?
24 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 427944 Anonymous
24th June 2019
Monday 2:05 pm
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>>427942

>Burps don't smell like food.

Have you never had a kebab?
>> No. 427945 Anonymous
24th June 2019
Monday 2:24 pm
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>>427942
>Check. Mate.
I did, and I'm not your mate.
>> No. 427948 Anonymous
24th June 2019
Monday 3:06 pm
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>>427944
Kebab burps taste like kebab, but don't smell like kebab.
>> No. 427954 Anonymous
24th June 2019
Monday 5:39 pm
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>>427932
It was how they got their buzz.

>>427940
This assumes that faecal particles aren't blasted out when you fart which, as my underwear will reveal, is often not the case. I'm also pretty sure that at least some of the air you breathe ends up in your gut otherwise aerophagia wouldn't be an issue.

Assuming this is all true though we could still spray Britain's enemies with liquid shit.

I'm pretty sure sulphur is also present in eggy farts
>> No. 427970 Anonymous
24th June 2019
Monday 9:10 pm
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>>427910
>Because your body practically runs on glucose, it is the body's fuel to sustain large parts of its metabolism.
>I think fat is also absorbed almost 100 percent, because it, too, used to be a rare energy source.

Sort of.
Your body can run on glucose or fat just as happily.
If you have access to glucose or fructose, your body will use that almost exclusively. Any fructose you eat is metabolised directly to fat. And excess glucose is metabolised into fat if signalled by insulin.
If you deplete your blood sugar and stores of glycogen, you start metabolising fat. After an initial period of your body ramping up the process, you can survive quite happily with no glucose in your diet at all.

The reason why most humans are able and willing to gorge on doughnuts and sweets until they're nearly sick, is because that might have once saved your life. Cavepersons stumbling across a bush full of berries or the like, would have ate as much as they could all in one go, the huge hit of glucose and fructose is nearly all stored as fat, and that fat could keep you alive for a week with no food if you needed it.

And that's the crux of the modern obesity pandemic. Sugar is perfectly fine for you, except when you have that doughnut Every-Single-Day.

>>427911
>Think I read that a recent study showed a deficiency in a particular gut bacteria was a cause of autism, of all things.
>Possibly propagated by the same people who think vaccinations give you autism.

The difference between this and the anti-vax shite is that the link between autism (and many other mental disorders) and gut health has been verified by good quality research and likely chains of cause and effect are identified.
The idea of "the neurons in your gut", isn't the full picture and can be a bit misleading. However many of the associations between the gut and the brain are due to specific chemicals produced by gut bacteria which can pass into your body and affect your nervous system (the autism link is thought to be due to a chemical produced by c. difficile bacteria. Others associations may be linked to the immune system (depression has been shown to be a direct side-effect of the inflammatory immune response in some circumstances.) Some associations may simply be down to general health (as gut bacteria effect how readily your body will absorb certain vitamins and minerals.)
>> No. 427974 Anonymous
24th June 2019
Monday 10:54 pm
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>>427970
>many of the associations between the gut and the brain are due to specific chemicals produced by gut bacteria which can pass into your body and affect your nervous system

Could these be harvested as some form of weapon?
>> No. 427977 Anonymous
24th June 2019
Monday 11:17 pm
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>>427970

Are you saying I might be able to cheer up a bit if I drink some of that Danone stuff?
>> No. 427978 Anonymous
24th June 2019
Monday 11:51 pm
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>>427977
Speaking of probiotics, pseudoscientific claims for their efficacy are banned in the European Union. Next time you see an ad or read the packaging for a probiotic yoghurt look carefully and you'll notice that they only state that they contain bacteria cultures, and not that the bacteria cultures actually, y'know, do anything.

The latest Yakult campaign is really cheeky. "A little bottle of science", without mentioning what science really says about their product.
>> No. 427979 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 12:32 am
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>>427978

So it's shoving a healthy person's poo up my bum or nothing?

I don't like science sometimes.
>> No. 427980 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 12:34 am
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>>427979
Well it's better than having to put it in the other end.
>> No. 427981 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 1:24 am
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Just eat an entirely fruit diet. It's not zero-waste, maximum efficiancy, but the kind of toilet time you'll be having will be entirely divorced from anything you've known before.
>> No. 427982 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 2:37 am
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>>427980

Some people enjoy that.
>> No. 427985 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 6:00 am
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>>427981

So you'll be having Steve Jobbies?
>> No. 427986 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 6:12 am
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>>427981
If I have three clementines in a day then they go right through me.
>> No. 427988 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 6:54 am
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>>427978
The problem with these is:
A) Most people probably don't need any more lactobacillus in their guts.
B) Your stomach acid will kill everything in them pretty much instantly.

You probably get more benefit from sticking a yakult up your arse than from drinking it.
>> No. 427989 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 7:49 am
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>>427988

When they do fecal transplants (yes lads that's what it's called) as an actual medical procedure, they essentially make it into a milkshake you hold your nose and chug. How come your stomach acid doesn't render that pointless? There's plenty of stuff stomach acid doesn't kill outright, that's how you get food poisoning. I'm guessing whatever is actually in Yakult is just pointless random flora to begin with though.

Regardless, I would like to know if anyone has done the necessary research into putting Yakult up their arse.
>> No. 427990 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 9:08 am
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>>427989
>I would like to know if anyone has done the necessary research into putting Yakult up their arse

We should put a thesis to Ben Goldacre. I'm sure he'd find Yakult up the arse more palatable than weapons-grade autism.
>> No. 427992 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 10:45 am
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>>427990
>I'm sure he'd find Yakult up the arse more palatable than weapons-grade autism.

I don't know how or why this distinction was made.
>> No. 427995 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 12:06 pm
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>>427992
The two questions thrown up by this thread are:-

• Are you better off pouring Yakult down your pie hole or your poo hole?

• If a pregnant woman was exposed to enough farts from autistic people would it increase the likelihood of her child being born autistic? If so, can we manufacture chemical weapons to spread autism?
>> No. 428002 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 2:59 pm
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>>427995
The answer to the first two questions is no, the third is probably.
>> No. 428003 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 3:02 pm
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>>428002
>The answer to the first two questions is no

Can you please explain why? If you pour vodka up your arse it's more potent than drinking it so I don't see why that doesn't apply to Yakult.
>> No. 428004 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 3:04 pm
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>>428003
You're not significantly better off pouring vodka or yakult into any part of you really.
>> No. 428006 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 3:42 pm
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>>427995

>If so, can we manufacture chemical weapons to spread autism?

There has been research into producing a gay bomb to be used on enemy soldiers, so why not develop an autism bomb as well.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_bomb

>The "gay bomb" and "halitosis bomb" are formal names for two non-lethal psychochemical weapons that a United States Air Force research laboratory speculated about producing. The theories involve discharging female sex pheromones over enemy forces in order to make them sexually attracted to each other.

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase Make Love Not War.
>> No. 428008 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 4:33 pm
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>>428006
I don't think just dousing someone's bunkmate in hormones would be enough to start a platoon wide M2M arsepissing extravaganza. He's still going to look, smell and sound like something dredged out of a swamp.
>> No. 428011 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 5:50 pm
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>>428008
I dunno, lad. Sometimes when I've majorly got the horn I'd be prepared to do all sorts of depraved deeds that would utterly horrify me once the post-ejaculation clarity arrives. If someone invented some form of severe stonk on spray who knows what sordid scenarios I could find myself in.
>> No. 428012 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 5:52 pm
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>>428008
Careful, now. We've got horses and dogs, and they get completely obsessed when they smell receptive lady-horse or dog. They'd be absolutely no fucking use in a war. Are you so sure we're not susceptible? I know it's not so obvious, but how much of it is less drive, and how much is politeness? As a hetero, it's obviously going to take a fair amount of convincing to jump on a hairy arse, but if half your squaddies really, really want a wank, I can see that being unhelpful.
Officers can just sort it out over a biscuit, as usual.
>> No. 428014 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 6:37 pm
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>>428012

I think as a soldier in combat, your sex drive is not your main concern, it's going to be dodging bulets and mortar shells, and drones. Not really the kind of environment that's going to make you want to jump anything that moves.

But if you're locked up in a prison with little to do all day, that's a different matter. "Prison gay" is really a thing, where men have sex with other men simply because of the fact that that is going to be the only human intimacy with another person that they will have for the next five or ten years.

Between having a cell mate wank you off or not having anybody at all give you a hand job for the next decade, which are you going to choose?
>> No. 428015 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 6:49 pm
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>>428014
>I think as a soldier in combat, your sex drive is not your main concern, it's going to be dodging bulets and mortar shells, and drones. Not really the kind of environment that's going to make you want to jump anything that moves.

Isn't there a lot of rape in war zones?
>> No. 428016 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 6:55 pm
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>>427989
As far as I know that's never done.
The usually do it via colonoscopy, and rarely with a feeding tube through your nose directly to your stomach.
>> No. 428017 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 6:58 pm
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>>428015

There is, but I think that's usually more about humiliating the enemy. Also, I am sure it doesn't happen right while there's bombs and bullets flying all around you.
>> No. 428018 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 7:07 pm
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>>428015
>Isn't there a lot of rape in war zones?

yeah, but that's after you've won
>> No. 428022 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 9:01 pm
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>>428018
What if the pheromones were so strong that they elicited the sensation that your side has already won, prompting them to aggressively bum one another? I bet they'd be so ashamed afterwards that many would kill themselves. Now that's a weapon.
>> No. 428028 Anonymous
25th June 2019
Tuesday 11:16 pm
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>>428022
Like some kind of weaponised cloak sweat?
>> No. 428041 Anonymous
26th June 2019
Wednesday 8:39 am
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>>428028 In all this rain, what with constantly going in & out, I've been seriously considering a cloak or poncho or something. I'm sure I spend more than 10 minutes a day wrestling my arms in & out of coats.
Problem is, it's a fucking cloak. Surely there's some alternative. At the moment, I'm tending to just wear a big hat, but that's not ideal either.
>> No. 428042 Anonymous
26th June 2019
Wednesday 9:17 am
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>>428041
How is it you find putting a coat on so difficult?
>> No. 428139 Anonymous
28th June 2019
Friday 2:35 pm
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>>428041

There's nothing wrong with a cloak. Pitch yourself into the cup of tea!
>> No. 428185 Anonymous
29th June 2019
Saturday 5:27 pm
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>>427978
What about the health benefits of Kefir? Or is that bunk too?
>> No. 429057 Anonymous
22nd July 2019
Monday 6:39 pm
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Motor neurone disease researchers find link to microbes in gut

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jul/22/motor-neurone-disease-researchers-find-link-to-microbes-in-gut

I'm telling you, weaponised farts are the future. If we'd wrapped a bottle around Stephen Hawking's ringpiece we'd have probably created a MND bomb by now.
>> No. 430396 Anonymous
11th September 2019
Wednesday 5:44 pm
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US doctors are hoping to start offering women vaginal fluid transplants and have set up a programme to screen potential donors.

They believe some women could benefit from a dose of healthy vaginal microbes to protect against an infection called bacterial vaginosis (BV). The Johns Hopkins University team say they were inspired by the success of faecal or poo transplants.


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-49646907

It won't be long now.
>> No. 430422 Anonymous
12th September 2019
Thursday 10:32 am
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The guy who invented Soylent almost killed himself by destroying his gut flora and then only drinking Soylent, based on OPs theory.

Genuinely worries me how someone who invented a nutritional supplement could be so fucking thick.
>> No. 430471 Anonymous
13th September 2019
Friday 12:33 pm
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>>430422
Is Soylent dense enough?
>> No. 430472 Anonymous
13th September 2019
Friday 12:52 pm
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I'm not a doctor, a biologist or even a self-accredited "nutrition expert", but could it have been folly for the OP to assume that shitting is not "useful"?

This was probably already brought up months ago, but whatever, I didn't force you to read my post.
>> No. 430474 Anonymous
13th September 2019
Friday 1:12 pm
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>>430472
It appears that the most useful thing is the microbes in your gut, which is why transplanting faecal matter from healthy people to unhealthy people to make them better is becoming a thing. This begs the question whether you could transplant faecal matter from an unhealthy person to a healthy person to make them ill and if this could be weaponised.
>> No. 430478 Anonymous
13th September 2019
Friday 2:05 pm
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>>430474
Reverse poz loading...
>> No. 430479 Anonymous
13th September 2019
Friday 2:22 pm
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>>430474

All you really have to do to make someone unwell is shit on their food. Healthy or not.
>> No. 430480 Anonymous
13th September 2019
Friday 3:37 pm
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>>430474
Why are you so obsessed with this? It's like the super dinosaur from Jurassic World 2, just a less efficient way of killing someone than shooting them. You're trying to reinvent the wheel.
>> No. 430481 Anonymous
13th September 2019
Friday 4:30 pm
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>>430480
Think about it, lad. If you shoot someone then people will know about it. If you create biological weapons from the guts of people with autism and release them undetected in say, Finland, then you could turn it into a country of barely communicative stunted spergs without anyone being any the wiser.
>> No. 430482 Anonymous
13th September 2019
Friday 4:50 pm
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>>430481
And what are you going to do with it after, turn it into a zombie apocalypse theme park?
>> No. 430483 Anonymous
13th September 2019
Friday 5:06 pm
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>>430481

>people with autism and release them undetected in say, Finland

I was going to post a picture of Pertti Pasanen, but I fear the mods' wrath.
>> No. 430484 Anonymous
13th September 2019
Friday 5:10 pm
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>>430482
Take over the world.

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