>>427901
Isn't that impossible?

I'm fairly sure fiber is a necessary part of maintaining the functions (e.g. gut bacteria) that break down the nutritionally useful bits of food.

The sci-fi idea of food in pill form is a bit of a weird one, I don't know enough about nutrition and biology to think of even a workable concept.

I can chip in with the idea from fitness and bodybuilding culture (so this may be broscience): in theory, you can cut down on the amount you shit -- even if you eat a lot of food -- by selecting a few easily digestible foods that still cover all your nutritional bases and eating them regularly. Most people do this in some form with dietary staples, but the less you deviate I think the more your body can utilise it, just as a matter of conditioning.

>>427903
Yeah I am not a doctor, but some here are - I am fairly sure that poo-ing is a fairly important part of digestion. You would need to find a food stuff that could be consumed perfectly by your body, with zero waste products whatsoever, even during digestion. It would probably be mostly fluid.

Thinks like Huel/Soylent are becoming popular (at least, considering the number of people at work who seem to be consuming them. Do you shit much if you consume those exclusively?

As others have said, fibre is hugely important.

Scientists are finding more and more and more ways in which gut bacteria impact your health.

But there is also the issue that your body needs to excrete a lot of toxins and other waste products that have been broken down by the liver, but are not water-soluble so can't be passed through the kidneys. These are instead passed into your guy, and get bound up in fibre.
Without enough fibre in your diet for your bowels to move properly, your body wont be able to get rid of these toxins and you wont be feeling good about that.

>>427903
>I'm fairly sure fiber is a necessary part of maintaining the functions (e.g. gut bacteria) that break down the nutritionally useful bits of food.

What about poo capsules? I've heard ingesting those, possibly up the old chocolate bon-bon factory, can do wonders for people's innards.

>>427906
This whole poo-transplant culture really gets me thinking sometimes. What if, instead of dieting, I just find someone who keeps the weight off effortlessly and begin a sexual relationship for the purpose of harvesting their poo germs (faecal vampirism), would that work? Should I avoid spending time with fat people because I might catch some of their bacteria?

I always knew the future would be shit.

>>427907
>faecal vampirism

In the year 2119 this is so going to be a thing. People will (literally) sell their own shit. There is probably an episode of Black Mirror here.

I think glucose is absorbed 100% by the body from the food you eat. Because in them old caveperson days, pure glucose was rare in people's diets and only occurred naturally in fruit and honey. So everytime you happened upon an apple or a bee colonly while foraging, your body made sure this source of pure energy wasn't wasted. Because your body practically runs on glucose, it is the body's fuel to sustain large parts of its metabolism.

I think fat is also absorbed almost 100 percent, because it, too, used to be a rare energy source.

>>427905
>Scientists are finding more and more and more ways in which gut bacteria impact your health.

Think I read that a recent study showed a deficiency in a particular gut bacteria was a cause of autism, of all things.

>>427911

Possibly propagated by the same people who think vaccinations give you autism.

Big Pharma and Big Autism are out to get us.

>>427913
Wait till the rise of Big Faeces.

>>427915
Mate, just flush the fucking loo.

>>427911

The new thinking is that your guts can lie behind a lot of things we'd previously not considered. You have shit tons of neurons in your bowels, essentially the same type as in your central nervous system. It's been theorised that the butterfly in your stomach feeling associated with anxiety is literally your guts being worried.

Who knows what weird revelations this might bring us to in a few years.

Is pic related okay? I know I didn't blur my face but it's just a bare skull so I think that's undoxable.

>>427911
Scientists have induced the hallmarks of autism in mice by giving them faecal transplants from humans with the condition.

The experiments were designed to test whether the communities of gut microbes found in people with autism have a role in their symptoms, an idea that is gaining ground among researchers.

In the study, animals that had faecal transplants from children with autism became less sociable, less vocal and developed repetitive behaviours. In contrast, genetically identical mice that had transplants from people without autism were unaffected by the procedure.

Last month, researchers at Arizona State University announced that faecal transplants had almost halved symptoms of autism in 18 children. Two years after the procedure, the number of children rated as having “severe” autism had fallen from 83% to 17%.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/may/30/autism-symptoms-replicated-mice-after-faecal-transplants

It's only a matter of time until this is used in chemical warfare. We'll take over the world by making all of our enemies autistic.

>>427921

>It's only a matter of time until this is used in chemical warfare. We'll take over the world by making all of our enemies autistic.

By shoving other people's poo up their arses. Genius.

>>427925
A fart is floating particles of shit. All we need to do is create a super concentrated autism fart bomb.

Seriously, lads. Don't let an autistic person fart near you as who knows what the effects could be, especially to any future kids you may have.

>>427926

I used to volunteer now and then for a charity for disabled children.

Nothing quite like getting a whiff from a low-functioning autism kid who just shat himself. Not that he would have noticed, he was usually too busy counting all the Lego pieces in the bin over and over. Maybe I contracted my social awkwardness from him.

>>427901
I think there are sites that will sell you pseudo scientific awful tasing milkshake powdered that is supposed to do this, but since one got mentioned by name in another thread recently and I've seen Ads all over reddit for the same one, I wonder if someone is of the the delusion we are worth targeting for viral marketing and OP is a shill trying to lead discussion that way.

Of all things, why would anyone want to give up on shitting?
It's about the most productive thing I do at work.
>>427910
Mildly curious how the cavemen did their bee colony foraging.

>>427929
Well as Britain's premier discussion forum, it's expected that we will be targeted by such campaigns.

>>427928
>Nothing quite like getting a whiff from a low-functioning autism kid who just shat himself

Better get used to that smell, seeing as all your kids will be autistic now.

I wonder if there should be health warnings for pregnant women to stay away from autists in case they inhale their farts and it ends up stunting their foetus.

>>427926
>A fart is floating particles of shit.
Not really. Farts are mixtures of gases, not diffuse faecal matter. The chemical makeup varies but in the realms of
Nitrogen: 20-90%
Hydrogen: 0-50%
Carbon dioxide: 10-30%
Oxygen: 0-10%
Methane: 0-10%
Farts are no more shit than burps are food. Less so, even.

>All we need to do is create a super concentrated autism fart bomb.
The microbes need to be in your gut, so unless you've connected your gut to your lungs this is unlikely to work.

>>427940
Farts smell like shit. Burps don't smell like food. Check. Mate.

>>427942

>Burps don't smell like food.

Have you never had a kebab?

>>427942
>Check. Mate.
I did, and I'm not your mate.

>>427944
Kebab burps taste like kebab, but don't smell like kebab.

>>427932
It was how they got their buzz.

>>427940
This assumes that faecal particles aren't blasted out when you fart which, as my underwear will reveal, is often not the case. I'm also pretty sure that at least some of the air you breathe ends up in your gut otherwise aerophagia wouldn't be an issue.

Assuming this is all true though we could still spray Britain's enemies with liquid shit.

I'm pretty sure sulphur is also present in eggy farts

>>427910
>Because your body practically runs on glucose, it is the body's fuel to sustain large parts of its metabolism.
>I think fat is also absorbed almost 100 percent, because it, too, used to be a rare energy source.

Sort of.
Your body can run on glucose or fat just as happily.
If you have access to glucose or fructose, your body will use that almost exclusively. Any fructose you eat is metabolised directly to fat. And excess glucose is metabolised into fat if signalled by insulin.
If you deplete your blood sugar and stores of glycogen, you start metabolising fat. After an initial period of your body ramping up the process, you can survive quite happily with no glucose in your diet at all.

The reason why most humans are able and willing to gorge on doughnuts and sweets until they're nearly sick, is because that might have once saved your life. Cavepersons stumbling across a bush full of berries or the like, would have ate as much as they could all in one go, the huge hit of glucose and fructose is nearly all stored as fat, and that fat could keep you alive for a week with no food if you needed it.

And that's the crux of the modern obesity pandemic. Sugar is perfectly fine for you, except when you have that doughnut Every-Single-Day.

>>427911
>Think I read that a recent study showed a deficiency in a particular gut bacteria was a cause of autism, of all things.
>Possibly propagated by the same people who think vaccinations give you autism.

The difference between this and the anti-vax shite is that the link between autism (and many other mental disorders) and gut health has been verified by good quality research and likely chains of cause and effect are identified.
The idea of "the neurons in your gut", isn't the full picture and can be a bit misleading. However many of the associations between the gut and the brain are due to specific chemicals produced by gut bacteria which can pass into your body and affect your nervous system (the autism link is thought to be due to a chemical produced by c. difficile bacteria. Others associations may be linked to the immune system (depression has been shown to be a direct side-effect of the inflammatory immune response in some circumstances.) Some associations may simply be down to general health (as gut bacteria effect how readily your body will absorb certain vitamins and minerals.)

>>427970
>many of the associations between the gut and the brain are due to specific chemicals produced by gut bacteria which can pass into your body and affect your nervous system

Could these be harvested as some form of weapon?

>>427970

Are you saying I might be able to cheer up a bit if I drink some of that Danone stuff?

>>427977
Speaking of probiotics, pseudoscientific claims for their efficacy are banned in the European Union. Next time you see an ad or read the packaging for a probiotic yoghurt look carefully and you'll notice that they only state that they contain bacteria cultures, and not that the bacteria cultures actually, y'know, do anything.

The latest Yakult campaign is really cheeky. "A little bottle of science", without mentioning what science really says about their product.

>>427978

So it's shoving a healthy person's poo up my bum or nothing?

I don't like science sometimes.

>>427979
Well it's better than having to put it in the other end.

Just eat an entirely fruit diet. It's not zero-waste, maximum efficiancy, but the kind of toilet time you'll be having will be entirely divorced from anything you've known before.

>>427980

Some people enjoy that.

>>427981

So you'll be having Steve Jobbies?

>>427981
If I have three clementines in a day then they go right through me.

>>427978
The problem with these is:
A) Most people probably don't need any more lactobacillus in their guts.
B) Your stomach acid will kill everything in them pretty much instantly.

You probably get more benefit from sticking a yakult up your arse than from drinking it.

>>427988

When they do fecal transplants (yes lads that's what it's called) as an actual medical procedure, they essentially make it into a milkshake you hold your nose and chug. How come your stomach acid doesn't render that pointless? There's plenty of stuff stomach acid doesn't kill outright, that's how you get food poisoning. I'm guessing whatever is actually in Yakult is just pointless random flora to begin with though.

Regardless, I would like to know if anyone has done the necessary research into putting Yakult up their arse.

>>427989
>I would like to know if anyone has done the necessary research into putting Yakult up their arse

We should put a thesis to Ben Goldacre. I'm sure he'd find Yakult up the arse more palatable than weapons-grade autism.

>>427990
>I'm sure he'd find Yakult up the arse more palatable than weapons-grade autism.

I don't know how or why this distinction was made.

>>427992
The two questions thrown up by this thread are:-

• Are you better off pouring Yakult down your pie hole or your poo hole?

• If a pregnant woman was exposed to enough farts from autistic people would it increase the likelihood of her child being born autistic? If so, can we manufacture chemical weapons to spread autism?

>>427995
The answer to the first two questions is no, the third is probably.

>>428002
>The answer to the first two questions is no

Can you please explain why? If you pour vodka up your arse it's more potent than drinking it so I don't see why that doesn't apply to Yakult.

>>428003
You're not significantly better off pouring vodka or yakult into any part of you really.

>>427995

>If so, can we manufacture chemical weapons to spread autism?

There has been research into producing a gay bomb to be used on enemy soldiers, so why not develop an autism bomb as well.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_bomb

>The "gay bomb" and "halitosis bomb" are formal names for two non-lethal psychochemical weapons that a United States Air Force research laboratory speculated about producing. The theories involve discharging female sex pheromones over enemy forces in order to make them sexually attracted to each other.

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase Make Love Not War.

>>428006
I don't think just dousing someone's bunkmate in hormones would be enough to start a platoon wide M2M arsepissing extravaganza. He's still going to look, smell and sound like something dredged out of a swamp.

>>428008
I dunno, lad. Sometimes when I've majorly got the horn I'd be prepared to do all sorts of depraved deeds that would utterly horrify me once the post-ejaculation clarity arrives. If someone invented some form of severe stonk on spray who knows what sordid scenarios I could find myself in.

>>428008
Careful, now. We've got horses and dogs, and they get completely obsessed when they smell receptive lady-horse or dog. They'd be absolutely no fucking use in a war. Are you so sure we're not susceptible? I know it's not so obvious, but how much of it is less drive, and how much is politeness? As a hetero, it's obviously going to take a fair amount of convincing to jump on a hairy arse, but if half your squaddies really, really want a wank, I can see that being unhelpful.
Officers can just sort it out over a biscuit, as usual.

>>428012

I think as a soldier in combat, your sex drive is not your main concern, it's going to be dodging bulets and mortar shells, and drones. Not really the kind of environment that's going to make you want to jump anything that moves.

But if you're locked up in a prison with little to do all day, that's a different matter. "Prison gay" is really a thing, where men have sex with other men simply because of the fact that that is going to be the only human intimacy with another person that they will have for the next five or ten years.

Between having a cell mate wank you off or not having anybody at all give you a hand job for the next decade, which are you going to choose?

>>428014
>I think as a soldier in combat, your sex drive is not your main concern, it's going to be dodging bulets and mortar shells, and drones. Not really the kind of environment that's going to make you want to jump anything that moves.

Isn't there a lot of rape in war zones?

>>427989
As far as I know that's never done.
The usually do it via colonoscopy, and rarely with a feeding tube through your nose directly to your stomach.

>>428015

There is, but I think that's usually more about humiliating the enemy. Also, I am sure it doesn't happen right while there's bombs and bullets flying all around you.

>>428015
>Isn't there a lot of rape in war zones?

yeah, but that's after you've won

>>428018
What if the pheromones were so strong that they elicited the sensation that your side has already won, prompting them to aggressively bum one another? I bet they'd be so ashamed afterwards that many would kill themselves. Now that's a weapon.

>>428022
Like some kind of weaponised cloak sweat?

>>428028 In all this rain, what with constantly going in & out, I've been seriously considering a cloak or poncho or something. I'm sure I spend more than 10 minutes a day wrestling my arms in & out of coats.
Problem is, it's a fucking cloak. Surely there's some alternative. At the moment, I'm tending to just wear a big hat, but that's not ideal either.

>>428041
How is it you find putting a coat on so difficult?

>>428041

There's nothing wrong with a cloak. Pitch yourself into the cup of tea!

>>427978
What about the health benefits of Kefir? Or is that bunk too?

Motor neurone disease researchers find link to microbes in gut

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jul/22/motor-neurone-disease-researchers-find-link-to-microbes-in-gut

I'm telling you, weaponised farts are the future. If we'd wrapped a bottle around Stephen Hawking's ringpiece we'd have probably created a MND bomb by now.

US doctors are hoping to start offering women vaginal fluid transplants and have set up a programme to screen potential donors.

They believe some women could benefit from a dose of healthy vaginal microbes to protect against an infection called bacterial vaginosis (BV). The Johns Hopkins University team say they were inspired by the success of faecal or poo transplants.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-49646907

It won't be long now.

The guy who invented Soylent almost killed himself by destroying his gut flora and then only drinking Soylent, based on OPs theory.

Genuinely worries me how someone who invented a nutritional supplement could be so fucking thick.

>>430422
Is Soylent dense enough?

I'm not a doctor, a biologist or even a self-accredited "nutrition expert", but could it have been folly for the OP to assume that shitting is not "useful"?

This was probably already brought up months ago, but whatever, I didn't force you to read my post.

>>430472
It appears that the most useful thing is the microbes in your gut, which is why transplanting faecal matter from healthy people to unhealthy people to make them better is becoming a thing. This begs the question whether you could transplant faecal matter from an unhealthy person to a healthy person to make them ill and if this could be weaponised.

>>430474
Reverse poz loading...

>>430474

All you really have to do to make someone unwell is shit on their food. Healthy or not.

>>430474
Why are you so obsessed with this? It's like the super dinosaur from Jurassic World 2, just a less efficient way of killing someone than shooting them. You're trying to reinvent the wheel.

>>430480
Think about it, lad. If you shoot someone then people will know about it. If you create biological weapons from the guts of people with autism and release them undetected in say, Finland, then you could turn it into a country of barely communicative stunted spergs without anyone being any the wiser.

>>430481
And what are you going to do with it after, turn it into a zombie apocalypse theme park?

>>430481

>people with autism and release them undetected in say, Finland

I was going to post a picture of Pertti Pasanen, but I fear the mods' wrath.

>>430482
Take over the world.

I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but it seems awfully convenient that this thread was made a few months before Covid-19 escaped from a laboratory in China. Covid-19 may well be their early attempt at making airborne weapons-grade autism.

All I'm saying is Chinkspooks may be reading our posts and getting ideas. Be vigilant.

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>438694
Seriously hoping they steal our ideas for a tap that produces custard then. We should probably have patented that one.

>>438696
The person who posted about a soup tap on rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk a week or so before that thread would have a strong counter-claim to the idea.

>>438697>>438696
Who are we kidding, like the Chinese care about patents.

>>438698
I wonder if we'll be able to buy autism fart bombs on AliExpress.

>Faecal transplants could help patients with a dangerous form of skin cancer respond to immunotherapy, research suggests.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/feb/04/faecal-transplants-could-help-patients-with-form-of-skin-cancer

Poo science!

If I ate nothing but chocolate would my shit eventually taste like chocolate? I imagine this would only work with dark chocolate rather than milk chocolate.

>>442902

Just shove a snapped darkmilk up yer bum. Post results in an /emo/ thread when everything eventually turns necrotic.

Lads, I need you to settle an argument. Is it normal to feel hungrier after having a poo?

>>443582
I don't think so.

>>443582

I can't say I've ever felt this myself. If anything I have less of an appetite after being haunted by a shit.

>>443582
I need to shit after eating so it makes sense to me that shitting would make you hungry, there's only so much space in your digestive system.

COVID-19 clears up rapidly after stool transplant to treat bacterial infection

Researchers suggest that faecal microbiota transplant (FMT) might be worth exploring as a treatment option for coronavirus.

Doctors from Imperial College London and the Medical University of Warsaw have published a letter online in the journal Gut, exploring the use of stool transplants to treat COVID-19 infection, after they used the procedure in two patients for another bacterial infection.

As well as being infected with Clostridioides difficile (a bacterial gut infection), both patients also happened to have COVID-19 infection, the symptoms of which cleared up rapidly after the stool transplant. Furthermore, while SARS-CoV-2 (the virus that causes COVID-19) may be detectable in stool for prolonged periods after the infection, researchers found that the virus was no longer detectable within stool after an apparently shorter period than is typically found.

https://www.imperial.ac.uk/news/225634/covid-19-clears-rapidly-after-stool-transplant/

Poo transplants clear up coronavirus. Poo science!

>>444942

))<>((

>>444942

))<>((

NHS patients struggling with superbugs to be offered poo transplants

Hundreds of patients struggling to ward off superbugs are to be treated with poo transplants on the NHS using gut bacteria taken from healthy donors’ faeces.

The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (Nice), the health regulator, has given the green light for a faecal microbiota transplant (FMT) to be offered to people who have been treated for two or more Clostridium difficile (C diff) infections without success.

The revolutionary treatment aims to restore a healthy population of gut bacteria in sick patients by transferring a batch of different gut bacteria and other microorganisms from healthy donor poo into the gut of the recipient.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/31/nhs-patients-struggling-with-superbugs-to-be-offered-poo-transplants

Poo science!

They can make biscuits that can brush a dog's teeth while they eat it, so why can't Big Biscuit make one that brushes as you eat?

Makes you think.

Pedigree Dentastix = 666 in numerology

>>453687
Sounds like a load of shit to me.

>>453687
From what I've heard, poo transplants really are a miracle cure for everything. I'm almost tempted to see if I can get one myself just to see what parts of me massively improve. But it would have to be a woman's poo. I don't want a man's poo going up my bum. That sounds gay.

>>453691

>I don't want a man's poo going up my bum

Oh, I've got bad news for you mate. That's not how they administer it.

Keep taking the crapsules: how I became a faecal transplant donor

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/mar/20/faecal-transplant-donor-healthy-gut

Poo science!

A man who was hospitalized by debilitating Crohn's disease found relief after putting his mom's poop in his rectum in a DIY treatment — but was surprised to experience her menopause symptoms, too. Charlie Curtis, from Toronto, Canada, who's in his mid 30s, did DIY "poop transplants," or fecal microbiota transplants, for over four years, he told filmmaker Saffron Cassaday in the new documentary "Designer $hit."

Curtis experienced some unexpected side effects from the FMTs: sweating, hot flashes, and mood swings, similar to what his menopausal mom was experiencing. "At the time, I was going through menopause," Sky Curtis said in the documentary. "And so was he!"

The donated poop does "transmit high levels of hormones," Borody told Cassaday, so it's possible that Charlie Curtis was experiencing the same symptoms as his mom because he was absorbing hormones from her poop, although that has not been proven.

This isn't the first time that an FMT is thought to have caused changes outside of the gut in patients. In one 2019 study involving autistic children, as well as helping gastrointestinal issues, FMTs were linked to improvements in social responsiveness and their developmental age, while multiple studies suggest that they can improve symptoms of Parkinson's Disease such as sleep disturbances. There's even been a few cases of people with alopecia regaining some hair growth after FMTs. However, there's not enough research on FMTs yet for them to be approved to treat other health issues, and Charlie Curtis' case is anecdotal.

https://www.insider.com/mom-donates-poop-fecal-microbiota-transplant-son-experiences-menopause-2023-11

>>461345

>but was surprised to experience her menopause symptoms, too.

That sounds more like an urban legend. There aren't going to be enough hormones in a little bit of someone's poo to cause anything like that.

>>461346
What research have you done on testing menopausal poo transplants?

>>461347

Seems a bit niche.

>>461346

More to the point, menopause symptoms are caused by a lack of hormones, hence hormone replacement therapy.

>>461349
So I should be jamming my poo up menopausal women, for science?

>>461351

Only if you ask nicely first.

It's been awhile since anyone mentioned fat girls and 'spoons actually. Maybe they underwent a metamorphosis.

>He who shags with fat birds in a disabled toilet should look to it that he himself does not become a fat bird. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

Also, maybe we shouldn't be dumping sewage everywhere?

>UK doctors are attempting to clear dangerous superbug infections using "poo pills" containing freeze-dried faeces.

>The stool samples come from healthy donors and are packed with good bacteria. Early data suggests superbugs can be flushed out of the dark murky depths of the bowel and replaced with a mix of healthy gut bacteria.

>It is a new approach to tackling infections that resist antibiotics, which are thought to kill a million people each year, external.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clyge290l4xo

Poo science!