Send her some statistics on single use plastic waste and explain how what she's doing doesn't help at all.

>Is 'WITH NOTHING TO SAY BECAUSE I AM A CUNT' still wordfiltered?

That's a yes.

>>428026

Clearly a lad who's never had a bird.

They do utterly illogical things, not just things that are slightly inefficient, but things that go against any possible thread of sensible thought whatsoever. And the worst thing you can ever possibly do is try and reason with them about it.

Don't worry OP, you're not alone. All my my previous partners did ridiculous stuff like this at some stage or another. My current missus is only an exception because I'm fairly sure she's on the spectrum.

>>428025
Probably looks nicer though. I like her style.

There are big wooden letters mounted on my living room wall that spell "LOVE" and all my kitchen utensils are stored in mismatched vases from a charity shop. There's a plant in a welly outside, and enough fairy lights to guide in a helicopter.

There's no point fighting it - though she didn't notice for about two weeks that I'd changed the letters to say "VOLE" so who even fucking knows why they bother.

I'd recommend switching the bottles around deliberately.

>>428030

well that's clearly the reasoning behind it isn't it. practicality is put second to her vision of a model home, it doesn't function as a living space but you can look at it and feel warm and fuzy that it is yours and YOU've shaped your enviroment, and expressed yourself in the stylistic choices YOU've made, like having matching glass bottles for everything.

>>428025

OP if you are looking for a friend to invite over to accidently break it and therefore never be invited round again but you can live with sanity I'm willing to take the hit.

>>428032

>it doesn't function as a living space but you can look at it and feel warm and fuzy that it is yours

And more importantly when you have guests over, they'll see it, and know that it is yours. It's basically the female equivalent of having a flash car or expensive wristwatch.

>There are big wooden letters mounted on my living room wall that spell "LOVE"

That's grounds for re-evaluating the relationship, however. Next thing you know she'll have you watching I'm A Celebrity and using bath bombs.

Unless she's cat-ears-at-work girl, in which case fair play to you lad.

I think women often care more for, not exactly the aesthetics, but something akin to that, of how things are in a home. Having being brought up by a single father I can't say this is inherently worse than a totally functional way of living that men seem to skew towards, which often leads to a house that feels like a garage lock up by way of a computer fair, rather than a home. I've seen men do this who aren't my father too. However, washing up liquid does belong in a squeezy bottle, you're right. It's not like you can buy it loose either, so what's the point of putting it into another container? Do either of you make your own? Even then you could reuse a plastic bottle.

Enjoy your bacon la Fairy Liquid, OP.

>>428034

>I think women often care more for, not exactly the aesthetics, but something akin to that, of how things are in a home.

It's nest-building really, isn't it. There's a part of our lizard brains that still compels us to be very predictable when it comes to gender roles, and it manifests in women decorating the cave and men leaving their pointy sticks all over the shop.

Is she just going to top it up when it gets 3/4 empty.
Washing up bottles are squeezy so you can squeeze some out when grabity gives up.
Does your better half have some sort of special power that allows her to manipulate matter on an atomic level to make it soft?

>>428033
>Next thing you know she'll have you watching I'm A Celebrity and using bath bombs.

There's far to many lads at work who are really into Love Island but claim they only watch it because their girlfriends put it on.

>>428036
>Does your better half have some sort of special power that allows her to manipulate matter on an atomic level to make it soft?

Women don't care. They're more often than not happy to stubbornly persist with something rather than admit they are wrong and lose face, especially in front of a partner.

It's like the trope about women complaining about the toilet seat being left up. The real reason behind this is generally that they have fallen down the toilet at some point because they didn't check to see whether the seat was down before sitting. Is it their fault for not looking before sitting down? Of course not, it's the man's fault for leaving the seat up in the first place. That and women don't realise how much piss they spray on the underside of the toilet seat, because they never fucking wipe it off, sometimes leaving menstruate there to stain it too.

>>428039
>They're more often than not happy to stubbornly persist with something rather than admit they are wrong and lose face
Thankfully men never do this and are Spock-esque in their commitment to rationality and logic.

>>428033

>Unless she's cat-ears-at-work girl, in which case fair play to you lad.

She's actually pretty good in this department, everything you could imagine in a kitchen to have a picture of a cat on and some things you couldn't (like the cutlery) has a picture of a cat on it. But it is all functional.

The bedroom has an entire book shelf used to display/store her collection of what must be 50 cat ears and tails and there are enough stuffed animals around the house to populate a game reserve but that's all really.

The greatest aesthetic white elephant in the house is actually my Lego street it is around a dozen buildings strong and it must run a solid 2 and a half meters along the top of some IKEA storage units now.


>>428025

What you need to do is get her to pick out a squirt hand pump head she likes so you can stick it in the top of the bottle. It's the best you can do to mitigate this whilst accepting her choice.

>>428043

Oh actually that's a lie there is storage space being used to display dolls and figurines nicely spaced out.

>>428043
Your house sounds like an uncomfortable place to be.

>>428043
>my Lego street it is around a dozen buildings strong and it must run a solid 2 and a half meters along the top of some IKEA storage units now

I think you need to grow up and get into model trains.

>>428045

It is like stepping into otaku wet dream but only not one focused around being a weaboo.

If there is an agument to be made for the infantilizing of millenials we are probably a case study.

>>428047

You can recognise that and don't feel the need to do anything about it?

>>428046
>I think you need to grow up and get into model trains.
I live in london I don't even have the space for even an N gage track.

I went to one of the big events at Alexandra palace last year I was probably one of the youngest people by 20 years. Highlight was the model of 1980s Brighton train station with half a dozen british rail people in high vis just standing around staring at a bit of track.

>>428048

Why, who is it hurting?

There are a lot stranger things people do for aesthetic that you accept because it is more common. Why would I want a sterile house with vapid buzz phrases on the walls and impratical washing up liquid storage, when I could have one with things I like?

>>428051

>Why would I want a sterile house with vapid buzz phrases on the walls

Oi, everyone likes to be reminded of love, alright?!

>>428051

Who's being hurt by an entire infantilised generation? Arguably everyone, particularly yourselves.

>>428052
He's having a pop at your woman, lad. You gonna take that?

>>428054

I'm going to have to fight him, obviously, but I sometimes wish my missus was actually as vapid and mindless as her interior design suggests. It must be dead easy to live with a bird that's as sharp as a pebble and as thick as mince.

>>428053

You've mistaken the symptom with the cause.

If I could afford a semi detached with a nice garden I would spend my weekend mowing the lawn and making self improvements. Since I can't I have a shoe box with some toys in it to spend my spare time on instead. You also seem to have missed the point to begin with that I live with a cat girl of course our lives are going to be fringe culture. It would be like you wagging your finger at a hippy 50 years ago.

>>428055

Okay let's do this at your place. I have things in my house I actually care about.

>>428057

To be fair, alongside the big wooden letters and signs about prosecco, we also have a track bike on the wall and shit like that, so I don't want the good stuff to get wrecked in my place either.

We could fight in the hall where she's hung loads of stained glass ornaments that all look like fancy drinks coasters. That'd help.

>>428077

I've kind of always disliked the way women clutter up a place with useless tat.

How, in all honesty, does it improve your living surroundings inside your house or flat to have tacky stained glass ornaments hung in the hall.

Also, I may not be a home decoration expert, but wasn't stained glass more a thing in the 80s?

>>428109

The answer to how it improves your living space, is supposed to be that it's visually pleasing, but of course that's in the eye of the beholder. I concede they probably do look better than an entirely bare wall. But at the same time, you're right, clutter is just clutter at the end of the day. My study is cluttered too, but I think I prefer the look of screwdrivers and cables scattered about than completely superfluous and cheap ornamental tat.

I might have described them poorly by saying stained glass. They are coloured glass, but they're more like 2D sculptures or the things in this picture here.

When I lived alone in an apartment, the extent of my wall accoutrements were black and white art prints of photos in black Ikea frames. I thought it looked fine. I also had a couple of plants dotted around the place and that absolutely floored a few of the lasses I took back there, the ones that commented all made it clear they equal parts impressed and suspicious that a man was capable of buying and maintaining house plants. I suppose what I learned there was that the bar for a single man's home decor is incredibly fucking low.

>>428109
>How, in all honesty, does it improve your living surroundings inside your house or flat to have tacky stained glass ornaments hung in the hall.

Mine gets ornaments with owls on them. Shitloads of owls.

>>428115

>the ones that commented all made it clear they equal parts impressed and suspicious that a man was capable of buying and maintaining house plants.

Maintaining house plants isn't witchcraft or black magic. You just read up on how to keep the species of plants happy that you've bought, and then water them as suggested and add a bit of fertiliser now and then.

I've succeeded at growing tomatoes, chili peppers, and cacti from seeds, and I've got a collection of plants like yucca, ficus and other things. And I'm hardly a poof.

I think it's just a cliché that single men are inherently helpless when it comes to things like plant care, cooking, laundry, house cleaning, and all the other things like that. Maybe I'm just an exception, but even then, I'm proof that men can function on their own without pizza boxes and dirty socks piling up in the livingroom.

More than that, some of the wives and girlfriends of my friends tend to be smug, overweening bints about the perceived, not necessarily real, lack of basic housekeeping skills of their lads. And the lads have internalised it in a kind of "yeah... what am I like, eh" kind of way. Not to get all MRA here, but have some fucking pride, lads.

>>428109

Well would you be fine with just concreate rooms with no windows and a matress? These things are a question of degrees about what is wholly practical and what looks nice and is therefore psychologically comforting.

>>428118
>More than that, some of the wives and girlfriends of my friends tend to be smug, overweening bints about the perceived, not necessarily real, lack of basic housekeeping skills of their lads. And the lads have internalised it in a kind of "yeah... what am I like, eh" kind of way. Not to get all MRA here, but have some fucking pride, lads.

I think it goes back to a time before worker equallity, where women psychologically justified their value in ways like that. The alternative was to face the idea you were a second class citizen. No you were better at it, rather than demoted to it, and they were helpless with out you.

>>428119

>Well would you be fine with just concreate rooms with no windows and a matress? 

No, but that's not what a typical lad pad looks like, is it.

>>428118

Good shout mate. I might have slight OCD which makes me better at looking after myself than a lot of lads who live alone; but it does wind me up when women have that patronising motherly attitude, as if all men are just inherently childish and incapable. Like you I've also observed it in a lot of my mates, one of whom I go so far as to cheekily ask her "Is Anon playing out today?" when I call over and she answers the door.

It was actually a pretty big motivation for me to split up with my previous partner, she would do everything before I had chance (I worked longer hours) and then try to make those smarmy remarks about me not knowing how to use the washing machine and so on. I actually felt like she was trying to make me forget how to look after myself to force me into dependency.

In today's age of equality I think men should happily be able to say fuck you, I wash my own pants, and my interior decor is a masterpiece of modern minimalism. Everything is dark brown and slate, and your fucking vases full of sticks from 2010 make me sick to the stomach.

>>428120

>I think it goes back to a time before worker equallity, where women psychologically justified their value in ways like that. The alternative was to face the idea you were a second class citizen. No you were better at it, rather than demoted to it, and they were helpless with out you.

This is true, but bear in mind that back then, you actually did have to do a fair bit to keep the house fit to inhabit. Manually firing up a coal stove every day to heat the water and house for the day while your fella was out working 12 hours darn't pit was no easy task and I don't buy the idea that women didn't have a right to be proud of what they did.

It became less impressive when we invented machines to do all those tasks, rendering women obsolete allowing The Capitalist to dilute the workforce by a full half.

>>428123

That is true. Virtually all household chores and tasks were infinitely more time consuming 50 to 70 years ago, when many homes still didn't have washing machines, vacuum cleaners, dishwashers... the lot. Even freezers weren't in every home.

Also, ready-made frozen or instant meals weren't very common either, meaning that cooking a wholesome family meal took many hours. All this was not something you could just whip up in half an hour after work every night. Being a housewife in those days was a full time job in itself.

All the finishing schools for future housewives weren't solely an invention by the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society to keep women down. Being a good housewife was a proper skilled job in the 1940s and 50s.

IMO it's not complete coincidence that the start of the fisherperson movement in the 1970s came at the same time that basic household appliances became ever more affordable. Women suddenly had much more free time on their hands, and they got to thinking that they really didn't like being stuck at home pleasing their husbands all their lives, while at the same time being completely financially dependent on them.

>>428128

i think it was better the old way

>>428122

I honestly think this is a neglected area of thought. Culturally, we talk about domestic division of labour quite a lot, but it's easy to forget that taking responsibility for something also gives you control over that aspect of someone's life. It's plain to see when it's as black and white as earning money and controlling finances, but more subtle when it's a homemaker overseeing your diet, living conditions, hygiene, everyday habits, etc..

In a lot of traditional cultures this is, I think quite interestingly, recognised as a kind of power over domestic and family life.

>>428128
>ready-made frozen or instant meals weren't very common either, meaning that cooking a wholesome family meal took many hours
Not that I disagree in general but cooking a decent meal from things other than frozen and instant meals doesn't take all that long.

>>428130

It is a neglected area of thought because there are political interests, and panderings at play. If you aren't careful in what you say there is a good chance a fair chunk of society will hate you for it, and accuse you of being an institutional trout farming apologist.

It is also an area that you wouldn't find funding for in academia in the areas you expect to (like sociology) because there are certain conclusions and naratives the consensus want you to follow that this goes against, historians would probably look on it more favorably, but they would present the processes as free from commentary as possible.

>>428132
Does that include popping down to the butchers because you can't keep meat for much more than a day, and shelling the peas, and a load of other crapwork you may not immediately think of?
(I remember shelling peas, peeling and chopping things as a kid. It wasn't zero-time, and took bowls and stuff that needed washing. Come to thin kof it, veg needed a decent washing too).
No part of this takes an age, but it all adds up.

>>428135
Depends how far back we're going. You've been able to store meat in the fridge for almost a hundred years now, we've had iceboxes for two hundred, cool rooms have always been around and so has preserved meat. We've only really eaten meat regularly for around the same time as fridges have been around, it wasn't farmed as intensively before that. That's correlation, not cause. Most veg might take a bit longer to prep but you can do a big stew that'll last for a few days, reducing the accumulated time taken massively. Rich people have cooks, poor people eat hunks of bread and cheese or dripping. Mashed potato doesn't take much doing, a simple roast takes time but not labour, then you'll eat slices of it cold for the next few days.

>>428136 regular people haven't had fridges for 100 years. I remember my grandparents getting their first, in the 70s, and they were pretty average people oop north. Their house certainly wasn't big enough to carve off a bit for a cool room. There was a larder / store cupboard, where most things lived, but it wasn't notably cool.
Popping to the shops for the makings of that day's meal was definitely a thing, only tins and some veg, plus eggs, got stored. Milk was delivered, as it was needed early and wouldn't survive a day in the summer.

There was also a bizarrely competetive edge to the housewifing. Getting up at ungodly-o'clock to scrub the steps, get the washing on the line before the neighbours saw your unmentionables, black the stove & fire. Not doing these things made you a slattern.
Serving 2-day-old stew, like your very sensible suggestion? Fuck, no.

>>428138

I'd link you a video of the school mum game from the film Her. But unfortunately all the keywords are so ubiquitous it is impossible to search for it online.

It is making very much your point though!

I'm just going to put myself on the side of preferring women not being indentured servants, no matter how noble it might have been.

>>428142

Nobody is saying they should be, lad, but I'm glad you got your shipping forecast in there.

>>428143
No, but people are speaking fondly of such a time and I don't think it's a stretch to interpret that as tacit endorsement. I don't really see why you've drawn attention to the fact that I disagree with you when that was clearly the intention of my post, but whatever, I'm sure you felt clever pointing that out.

>>428142
Brave post. Brave and long overdue.

>>428144

>No, but people are speaking fondly of such a time

Which people? I'm curious as to what you classify as speaking fondly. Surely not the acknowledgement that housework used to be harder?

Can't stand messy clutter, minimalism is the way forward.

One or two key items that blend in, a plant maybe and that's it. Everything else neatly out of sight.

My old gf loved to just keep useless crap and it drove me mental.

>>428134
>It is a neglected area of thought because there are political interests, and panderings at play. If you aren't careful in what you say there is a good chance a fair chunk of society will hate you for it, and accuse you of being an institutional trout farming apologist.

>>428144
>No, but people are speaking fondly of such a time and I don't think it's a stretch to interpret that as tacit endorsement.

Res ipsa loquitur!

>>428145

It is time someone had the courage to say something as controverial as indentured servants are bad.

>>428130
>It's plain to see when it's as black and white as earning money and controlling finances, but more subtle when it's a homemaker overseeing your diet, living conditions, hygiene, everyday habits, etc..

There's a joke which is eluding me that I think is based on a quote by Einstein.

It's something like... In my marriage we agreed I make all of the big decisions while my wife makes all of the little decisions. Little decisions such as how many children we have, when and where we go on holiday, how often we change the car, home improvements, what we eat, what we wear, etc. We haven't had a single big decision to make yet.

My Dad is certainly mothered by my Mum. If she dies first then he is absolutely fucked because he will not be able to function as an independent adult. I've come across plenty of men his age who have devolved almost all responsibility to their wives and are incapable of making a decision without having it approved first.

>>428151

> If she dies first then he is absolutely fucked because he will not be able to function as an independent adult. I've come across plenty of men his age who have devolved almost all responsibility to their wives and are incapable of making a decision without having it approved first.

There are quite a few young men who move out from their parents' and straight in with their first serious girlfriend. The problem then really being that such a lad probably never learned to cook, do laundry and ironing, grocery shopping, or clean up after himself because mum always did those things for him. And now he's moved in with his girlfriend, and even if they don't end up married to each other, he'll probably go from one relationship to the next where he'll always have his partner do all of it.

I maintain that living single for a few years is one of the most valuable experiences that a young lad can have. To be completely self sufficient with all the little jobs around the place that need doing but have nobody else to do them but yourself.

I can iron, do laundry, cook, wash up, I know how to use a vacuum cleaner, I can sew on a button, the works. I don't need a woman in my life to do any of that for me. The only reason I really want to be with another woman again sooner or later is really the sex and the companionship. More or less in that order.

>>428164

This is what one of my mates did. What sometimes troubles me is that he often seems unhappy with the situation, but if he should want to, he simply does not know how to get himself out of it. Seven years on, they're married with a mortgage.

She can do essentially whatever she wants- He could walk in on her fucking three other blokes, and he wouldn't know how to even start navigating the conversation about breaking up, let alone the process of separating their lives. He'd just have to let it happen.

Doing your own washing up and cooking a pot noodle isn't rocket science. I have faith that even the worst manchildren can suss it out when/if they need to. But it's definitely more than just a sitcom trope that some men surrender huge chunks of autonomy to their partners, for better or worse.

>>428167

>She can do essentially whatever she wants- He could walk in on her fucking three other blokes, and he wouldn't know how to even start navigating the conversation about breaking up, let alone the process of separating their lives. He'd just have to let it happen.


That's another reason why I think it's valuable life experience for a lad to spend a year or two, maybe even longer, having to fend completely for himself without outside help and interference. With no women in their lives except for the occasional fling or one night stand. That's how you learn to become an independent human being, and somebody who isn't afraid to take on a fight and be in charge when the situation requires it.

Curiously, the same women who've got hen-pecked husbands at home start frothing at the gash at that thought tend to somehow find that massively attractive. When the real irony is that they played an active part in turning the lad they're with into the kind of uncapable loser that he is.

>>428171
You aren't saying anything disagreeable, but the Tyler Durden picture is making me want to roll you down a hill anyway.

>>428172

Yeah sorry about that picture, it's much less of a clever idea than I thought last night.

Honestly these men deserve it. Imagine being unable to look out for yourself.

The best thing that ever happened to me was an ex-gf of the long term variety just dropping me one day and me going on a mad one and taking a job in a completely different place.

I enjoy being so much on my own that when women do enter my life I find it annoying when they're in my space or don't meetmy standards.

>>428181

>Honestly these men deserve it. Imagine being unable to look out for yourself.

Sounds like victim blaming m8. Imagine saying something similar about a woman.

>>428181
You say "they deserve it", but then admit that the only thing keeping you from being one of these manbabies was an act of chance completely out of your control that, had it not occured, would have left you none the wiser about looking after yourself. Seems a touch, dare I say, smug to act all superior when you were potentially a hair away from becoming mortgaged and married to a woman who'd never have asked you to lift a finger.

>>428183

It's like how my Grandad is smug about quitting cigarettes despite him being told by doctors he could either quit or lose a leg in about six months.

>>428182

We're not talking about female circumcision here, lad. Have some perspective.

I know there are intricate relationship dynamics involved here that can cause a man to sink to the level of inept downtrodden husband. But they can be overcome relatively easily by getting off your arse and growing a pair of quite average sized testicles.

So yeah, unless you're with some sort of manipulative psycho bint for a wife or girlfriend, it's a prison of your own making.

>>428197

>So yeah, unless you're with some sort of manipulative psycho bint for a wife or girlfriend, it's a prison of your own making.

I know I'll be stepping on thin ice to say this, but I think that's sort of the crux of the issue.

A lot of behaviours that would be rightly recognised as manipulative, controlling and even abusive if a bloke did it, are just seen as totally acceptable, even normal, when a woman does it. A lot of men just think that's how life is supposed to be.

Stockholm syndrome seems to kick in very quickly with all the lads I've ever known that have a horrible girlfriend, just like it does with birds who are in relationships with abusive men.

>>428198

Exactly this. I too know what sort of a response this will likely get, but things like controlling finances, what you wear, who you talk to, are all considered huge warning signs, if not direct abuse, when a man does it to a woman, but the opposite is rarely recognised in the same way - and my pet theory is that this is a result of ideas still latent in society that women are weak enough to be taken advantage of and men are expected to be strong enough that if he does what a woman tells him to, it's on him.

I fear I sound like one of those men's rights knobends on reddit but that's quite far from my actual position on the matters of equality.

>>428198
>A lot of behaviours that would be rightly recognised as manipulative, controlling and even abusive if a bloke did it, are just seen as totally acceptable, even normal, when a woman does it.

"I can see who wears the trousers in your relationship!"

>>428201

The key is realising that no person, man or woman, has a right to treat you that way.

And that you are free to exit a relationship like that any time you like. No matter how dense the web of manipulation is that your partner has woven around you.




Jesus Christ, there's fucking bats swooping over my balcony as I am writing this.

>>428205

That's great if you have the strength of will and character to realise it. But in my earlier example I mentioned the mate who moved straight out of his parents house and straight in with a domineering mother hen of a girlfriend. That kind of woman tends to know exactly when she's onto the kind of lad who won't stand his ground, and they're usually not daft about how to secure their position. Naturally she's great mates with the lad's mum, and integrated fully with his closest circle of friends (or rather- their partners). Nothing he says or does will ever be at risk of slipping past her notice.

Right now he accepts his situation, but the point is, he's never had to face the prospect of dismantling a relationship, a living situation, and social group in that way. Once she's that deeply part of his life he's unlikely to even consider it. It begins to look like altogether too much hassle, she knows that, and that's the point.

When I look back on my ex the pattern was similar. The arguments we had were never actually because I had done anything wrong. It was always because I had resisted her control, I had stood up for my boundaries, and that wasn't how it was supposed to work. She only started acting that way after I let her move in and she was legitimately surprised that I'd dumped her, even though it had been nothing but bitter fighting for nearly an entire year. In her head, I was eventually going to buckle, an telling her where to go instead was simply never a possibility she considered. She wasn't as good at it as my mate's Mrs and I'm not as easy to work, but that was what she was aiming for.

Apologies for taking this in a somewhat 101/emo direction but you don't get to talk about these things often, and coming to terms with and recovering from an environment like that is pretty gruelling honestly.

>>428224

Well good on you that you got rid of that no good ex of yours.

There is the school of thought that we learn relationship blueprints in our family as we grow up, and that we are quite likely to repeat what we witness watching our parents as younglads and younglasses. And then that if you come from a family where your mother was an all-controlling termagant like that and your dad was a spineless yes-man, then you are bound to repeat that relationship pattern, not just because that's the kind of relationship blueprint that was shaped in you, but because naturally you also carry half your dad's genes, and as a lass, you also carry half your mum's genes and can have it in you to push around your boyfriend or husband the same way.

On the other hand, my therapist that I saw for a while happened to tell me once that there is another kind of effect that your parents' relationship can have on you, and that is that you say to yourself, fuck no, I don't want to have a relationship like my parents, I'm going to do things differently.

The key to understanding abusive relationships and enabling an abused person to exit such a relationship is that they always consist of one person who dominates, and one person who allows that domination to happen. Now, before the accusations of victim blaming start again, that does not mean that it is a conscious decision to allow someone to dominate and abuse you. Usually, it stems from the fact that you were never given a chance to learn how to stand up for yourself. There may be deeper self worth issues within you which, again, aren't your fault, but all that combined means you just can't seem to succeed at ditching your abuser on your own. And that's where women's aid organisations come in (curiously, I don't think they exist for abused men), and they will build you up and give you emotional support and enable you to stand up for youself and escape your abuser.

I'm not saying you should kill your nagging bitch of a wife with a hammer like Lester Nygaard in Fargo, but that scene really sums up beautifully the kind of dynamic that makes it so hard to exit an abusive relationship.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZOAdxsPFlM

>>428226
Whoa! Can you not repeat that surname?

>>428227
Please stop trying to be BRILLIANT. It's embarrassing for all of us here.

>>428227

What's wrong with Nygaard?

>>428231
Nygaards are over three times more likely to get arrested than the indigenous population.

https://www.ethnicity-facts-figures.service.gov.uk/crime-justice-and-the-law/policing/number-of-arrests/latest

>>428229
It's a recurring joke in the first series.

>>428232

Ergh.

>>428232
Chinese aren't Asian now?

>>428243
I believe the official classification for them is 'Mental Orientals'.

>>428243
Not unless you're septic.

>>428245

What continent is China in?

>>428247
Are you going to start calling Canadians "American"?

>>428249

No because there's a country we commonly call "America" so that would be confusing. However many people call people on the southern part of the American continent "South Americans", which you might not have known.

I wonder how angry OP will get when they're down to the last bit of washing up liquid and he's got to stare at it for about fourty odd seconds as it slowly runs along the sides of the bottle, before it limply drips out onto his dishes.

He's gonna' go mental.

>>428252

Or he could just put some water in the bottle

>>428251
>No because there's a country we commonly call "America" so that would be confusing.
Right, and in this country there's a specific community of people we commonly call "Asian".

>>428253
He'll be too angry to think, even it does occur to him he won't do it. "It's the principle, I shouldn't have to put the water in the bottle so I won't".

Absolutely bonkers, off his head.

>>428252
There's approximately a fifth of the bottle left, which now has a few streaks of dried liquid going down it due to how shit it pours (and because I'm not cleaning it out of principle). I'm tempted to top it up before it's empty with different coloured wash liquid.

>>428251

How does the old joke go... You know you're a redneck if you think Central America means Kansas.

>>428252

And he gets angry and shakes it like a bottle of red sauce, and it just globs out and doesn't make the lovely foam.

Makes me mad just thinking of it.

I've been dress shopping with my girlfriend today. Why do women have so many clothes to choose from? It's fucking ridiculous.

>>428668

I've noticed that when it really comes down to it, 90% of it is absolute shit that looks like a Blue Peter presenter threw it together with a hangover. But women are fussy, and their clothing market wouldn't work if they didn't feel like they had lots of choice.

Blokes often complain that they have less to choose from but out of all that choice, men and women still have roughly the same amount of viable, aesthetically pleasing clothing combinations. This is why you more often see a woman dressed like a complete twat than a man.

Men want to go into a shop and come out with something good looking, with as little fuss as possible. Most men don't even want that, they just want jeans and a t-shirt. Whereas women want to feel like they have really achieved something by finding that one perfect dress and pair of heels.

>>428669

I think on the bottom line, men and women just view the purpose of clothing differently. For men, form mainly follows function. You want clothes that suit your needs on the job and in your free time respectively, and ideally ones that make you look just barely sharp and handsome, although even that is negotiable when you look at some lads in the street.

Women, on the other hand, on top of wanting to feel well dressed and attractive, tend to want clothes to be decoration and to reflect the mood they're in, clothes must match their hair colour, overall style, and any number of other attributes that appear relevant on a given day to a woman (around a woman's ovulation, dresses have been proven scientifically to become shorter and more revealing, for one thing).

And so women end up with cupboards full of clothes that were bought one day on a whim because it seemed like a good idea at the time, but then those clothes just disappear into the vastness of that cupboard, becoming one of five dozen possible outfits, but women still complain that they've got nothing to wear for the occasion at hand.

And it's of course blasphemy when you as a bloke then tell your missus that the choice would be easier if she had fewer clothes to begin with.

>>428670
>(around a woman's ovulation, dresses have been proven scientifically to become shorter and more revealing, for one thing).

This sounds like "deadly Harvestman" territory, but I'll buy it, for now.

>>428671

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2006/oct/11/science.fashion

>"They tend to put on skirts instead of pants, show more skin and generally dress more fashionably," said Martie Haselton, the University of California Los Angeles researcher who led the study.



Slightly older study from around 2006, but so far not debunked, it appears.

>>428122
> I actually felt like she was trying to make me forget how to look after myself to force me into dependency.
You might be not too far off the mark. Some of them do exactly that.
I'm only unsure if it's a conscious decision.

>>428164
> he'll probably go from one relationship to the next where he'll always have his partner do all of it.
Certainly the way one of my friends had been doing.
I remember him admitting it flat out once when I brought him a spare part for his car and found him sitting in the kitchen hungry. He said he'll wait for the missus to come and cook him something. 'And if we ever part ways, I'll just find myself another one.'

>>428693
>I'm only unsure if it's a conscious decision.

It's a well established system.

>>428693

>Certainly the way one of my friends had been doing. 

I remember hearing a radio interview once where they interviewed one of those women who do phone sex for pay. And she said one time, an older chap called her and asked her if she could help him figure out how to wank himself off. This was before the Internet, or at least before the elderly warmed up to it.

Anyway, apparently the chap said that his wife had died a while ago, and that she was the only person he was ever intimate with since they got married in their teenage years.

The poor lad was so dependent on his late wife that he never even learned to properly wank himself off.

>>428709
That sex must have been mind-blowing.

>>428721
That or she forbade him from doing it.

>>428722
If a man wants to wank, a man wanks. There are chaps climbing the Machu Picchu trail who are doing it and there are ten years plus Gitmo detainees indulging as well.

OP You're not alone.

>Washing up liquid doesn't stay in the squeezy bottle, no no. It goes into a cork bottle
>Matches dont belong in the match box, they belong in a tin flip-lid box with "MATCHES" on it, with a striking strip glued to the back
>Just finished a jar of jam? Good. Now we have somewhere to store beef fat, which will be diligently never used and will be thrown out once it starts changing colors.
>This bathroom needs more shit wall stickers of dolphins, and wooden hearts glued to the wall
>This bedroom needs masks, posters of french movies we've never seen, and scatterpillows
>This sofa also needs scatterpillows
>This perfectly functional closer door mirror needs drapes.

I could go on.

>>429035
Lad, if you want to fit in around here then you'll have to knock off all of that greentexting.

>>429036
> fit in around here then you'll have to knock off all of that greentexting

I can't stand this attitude, it seems like some sort of arrested development obsession with proving we aren't 4chan. The fight is over let it go, we aren't going to get taken over just because we let people use a rhetorical device.

>>429039
It's a slippery slope. You accept green texting and then next thing you know people will be posting those memes things that I keep hearing about.

I'm not a mod or anything, but that was perfectly alright meme arrowing, in my opinion. He was paraphrasing (I bet there's a more specific word for what he did, but I don't know it) things that had happened in real life, the same way you would take snippets from a news article when making a thread about it, or you might post the premise of a film you were recommending on here. Does .gs have a High Court we could petition for a definitive ruling?

>If you want to fit around here

Why the hell would anyone want to do that?

>>429042

>>429042
>Why the hell would anyone want to do that?

We take our appreciation of sheds, cups of tea and Countdown co-presenters very seriously.

>>429045

You're living a lie mate. We all drink coffee and admitted as much. The vast majority of us probably have TVs, and I bet none of us even have a shed.

>>429036
That's a perfectly syntactically and semantically correct use of greentext, and I officially declare it acceptable and you a pleb.

Appeals to this decision may be lodged via the circular file in the corner of the office.

That is all.

>>429048
You know I don't think that's even his real hair. Can't be trusted.

>>429048
The correct, and only, use of greentext is to quote someone else.

Greentext stories are lazy; they resulted in a lot of creativity and nuance on imageboards being stymied.

>>429051
>The correct, and only, use of greentext is to quote someone else.
Correct, but for our purposes "quote" includes paraphrasing, misquoting, and putting words in their mouth, and "someone else" is not limited to people on this board, or even people that exist. The example here of putting words into the mouth of a notional partner is perfectly acceptable and anyone that disagrees is wronger than Are Jim'll.

>>429035

The thing that pisses me off most is that there seems to be some part of the female brain that actively enjoys making things more difficult and inconvenient, impeding otherwise efficient function, for the sake of "aesthetics".

It's not just "this sofa would be nicer with a throw on it" it has to be "this sofa would be nicer with a throw on it and ten cushions that we always take off before we sit down because you can't bloody sit on the fuckers BUT THEY LOOK NICE"

I'm all for making the place look a bit nicer. I like a homely touch, I don't want to live in some sort of cross between a Kraftwerk album and Steve Job's psyche like the male "utilitarian" ideal would be considered. But for fuck's sake those fucking fairy lights do nothing but make it difficult to shut the bloody curtains. Why the fuck are they there.

Secondly:

>>429048

Although I stand in the defence of greentext used as paraphrasing, quoting, and mis-quoting for deliberate ad hominem; I must observe that .gs common law is based upon precedent. For this reason I must draw your honour's attention to several previous bans for the greentext as used in this post- I believe the key distinction lies in the consecutive run-on nature of each line.

Compare and contrast the ire brought by the use of greentext as a piecemeal way to respond to specific points and paragraphs during a cunt-off, which has been unanimously agreed as against the Mansfield Convention of Cunt Off Conduct (2013).

>>429051

I imagine you to be the kind of pseudo intellectual snob who pisses yourself with delight at how clever James Joyce's god awful writing style purely because someone wearing a suit and a tie told you it was good whilst you were at 6th form. With no self reflection of your beliefs then or now

Brevity is a gift that green text gives us. I dont want to have to read through the filler of someone who might be an idiot and never makes it to the point. This is supposed to be about having a conversation not a monologue or a writing class.

>>429065

He used the > as a way to present a bulleted list, not to tell a story in the way other, lesser chans do. Stop being a knob.

>I AM A DRIBBLING COCK you're a knob

>>429065
> The thing that pisses me off most is that there seems to be some part of the female brain that actively enjoys making things more difficult and inconvenient, impeding otherwise efficient function, for the sake of "aesthetics".
That reminds me one theory which details I, sadly, remember only vaguely.
It was about some wacky the shipping forecast by indulging into things that require way more care and expenses than the practical value they provide.
Basically, 'I can afford to spend money and time on nearly useless things'.

>>429093
How in bloody hell did 'virtuе signаlling' happen to get filtered?

>>429065
My girlfriend does this. When the bed is made there are extra pillows and they are all stacked upright rather than flat. Then the cushions go in front of them.

It's a strange ritual of putting them on in the morning and chucking them on the floor at night.

>>429095

Mine does this too, and sometimes even gets annoyed if I use the cushions as actual cushions. She also folds and crimps the bog roll like they do in hotels.

I know it's incredibly trite and lazy to say "women, ay?! What are they like?!" But fuck me, it's the only sane response.

The fascinating thing is my missus is not in any way a girly girl, she is a borderline tomboy and spends just as much time in sheds as I do, likes engines and soldering and bikes and that, but still somehow feels the need for forty cushions and dead twigs in vases and all of that. Why the fuck couldn't she just be content to live in a spanner laden grease covered hovel like I would?

>>429116
You're lucky lad. At least there seems to be some reasoning with yours, I also like that she folds the shit roll all nice. Mine only does that if we have a guest stopping over night.

My wife is kind of weird. She'll obsess over silly things like arranging the glasses and tablewear in the kitchen cabinets by size and color and will insist that Orange juice does not belong in the carton but in the jug, as if she needs visual confirmation on the amount remaining and judging by weight is useless to her. She also get irrationally irritated when the remote is not neatly on the coffee table when used and insists that the varnish on our shit, second hand basic ikea coffee table must be protected by not only a sheet but also coasters.

And yet I don't think there's been a single week I've had since she's moved in where I haven't found the spare room in an absolute fucking state. It acts as our guest room and if we're expecting someone she cleans it up, but otherwise it's just her walk in closet/dumping ground. The kitchen must be completely clear of any and all used dishes, debris, glasses and utensils at all times but pubes all over a used bath towel on the spare bedroom bed? Meh.

It is a "Women, aye?" thing. So many inconsistencies and contradictions in their behavioral patterns.

>>429116

> and dead twigs in vases

That one has stumped me too. Window space is a scarce commodity if, like me, you enjoy gardening and are into - live - plants. A dead pussy willow twig in a vase on a window sill serves no function, is a dust collector, which then needs regular attention dusting it off, and really looks kind of sad. When that space could be used for anything from newly germinated chili pepper plants at the beginning of spring to my collection of cacti in winter. A dead willow twig is dead, no manner of light through the window is going to bring it back to life, so if you inconceivably want to hold on to it anyway, why does it have to be on the window sill.


>>429120

>It is a "Women, aye?" thing. So many inconsistencies and contradictions in their behavioral patterns.

And yet, they accuse us of exactly the same. Like, why we feel the need to leave dirty used socks lying around, when we could just as easily pick them up and throw them right in the hamper or washing machine on our next trip to the bathroom, kitchen, or wherever your washing machine is located. You can't argue with the little shred of logic in that idea, but who really thinks of that when we take our socks off.

>>429095>>28824
Yup. My wife insists on "show pillows" to go on top of the normal pillows through the day. Pity absolutely no one ever is in the bedroom during the day. When we get back from work she takes them back off again. Why ffs?

>>429164

>Why ffs?

Because that one issue of Marie Claire two months ago said so.

Really all you have to do is browse those women's magazines online (I dare you), and you will see where women get all those ideas from.

>>429275
Those magazines always have the best tips.

>>429276

>IT'S MAD

Hard to argue with that assertion.

There is now a total of 4 pillows and 5 cushions on my bed. We take off two of the pillows and all of the cushions to sleep before putting them all back on again when the bed is made in the morning.

I do not get it.

>>437487

>>437488

Sitcoms used to seem funny to me, this is a very long way to make a very short point.

Anyway, Sarah Alexander can put as many cushions as she likes in my house.

Oh, and this week she's got a transparent tub to store the packets of Shredded Wheat in. She takes the packets out of the box of cereal and puts them in the tub. However, the tub isn't large enough for all the packets of Shredded Wheat so now there's a half filled box out of sight in the garage. Next to this tub sits a tub where she has stored the crackers she has taken out of their packets.

>>437490

Maybe you're just not shagging her often enough or hard enough.

>>437490

I could accept some sort of tin but a transparent tub is surely uglier than the original packet?

>>437490
That sounds like she's half-arsedly pretending to be doing the zero-waste thing.

I'm honestly a bit envious of you lads, although they might do silly things at least your partners do something.

I do all the cleaning, laundry, DIY, gardening, handle all the finances and do 90% of the cooking (she does a bit of this to be fair). She tried ironing once and just burnt things. I work full time and have hobbies too, but still help her with her studies on top of it all. She's a grown fucking woman, getting kind of annoyed to be honest. She's 30 and is sat crying becayse she thinks her clasdmates are being a bit mean to her.

>>437499
It sounds like you're enabling her.

>>437499

When your type is mental slags, you quickly learn how to be a bit of a therapist. You have to gradually teach her how to do those things and be a bit of an old fashioned chauvinist at times in terms of making her do them. Or at least that's what it can feel like; but ultimately you're just making her do her fair share. Don't fall into the trap of being too much of a nice guy, most of these lasses just need a firm hand in their life that they've never had before (iykwim).

>>437501

>When your type is mental slags, you quickly learn how to be a bit of a therapist.

Many women look for a therapist in a boyfriend even if they aren't mental slags.

I usually try to tell them that I don't make a good therapist, and that they're better off talking to their best friend or their mum.

>>437501

If you're cohabiting with a mental slag then you're already doing things wrong. All true mental slag aficionados know that the trick to dealing with them is to keep them at arms length, fill them full of drugs, shag them rotten in the most disgusting and humiliating ways possible and then ignore all their texts for a few days so they can froth themselves back into the exact type of personal crisis that makes them worth hanging about with; a delicate bouquet of insecurity, hating their father, and cock lust which together bear fruit in the form of an inexhaustible desire to please, even while knowing they'll never be good enough.

>>437503

That's all well and good, but us three are mostly entering our 30s now and we need something a bit more dependable.

That sort of behaviour went down perfectly in the days before Tinder was mainstream and you could buy fistfuls of dodgy psychedelics from headshops, but these days I want a mental slag I can share the rent with.

>>437502

Amateur. How do you get them co-dependent enough to let you shag other women openly if you're not even going to act as their therapist and subtly mould them to your whims?

Fundamentally women are bat shit insane who's relevance is only breeding.

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>437508
> who's

Lad.

>>437508

Alright edgelad.

>>437500

Maybe, but whenever I have tried to get her to do things, nothing gets done, or what
should take an hour takes days.

I get really jealous of other people's partners when they do really simple things, it's weird what you long for when you get older.

I wish I knew it would be like this a few years ago. I'm 29 now and scared of starting over, I have my Grandad's genes so most of my hair has gone, I'm a lot heavier than I used to be and my sex drive has pretty much dissapeared.

My friend's barely talk to me after my partner refused to come to their wedding after a tiff and they had to reorganiae a bunch of stuff. Sorry, just rambling now.

tl;dr cushions and twigs in vases aren't the worst things in the world

>>437637
You need to leave her, seriously.

>>437637

I can sympathise lad. Here's the thing though- The grass isn't always greener.

I'm with a lass who's very similar to yours, if it's her turn to do the dishes it will very often be about 4 days before they eventually get done, and so on. But the thing is, I have come to peace with the fact that that's fine, because I'm the same. There are times I simply can't be arsed to do something and put it off all week, but because we're both on the same wavelength in that regard, it's never a cause of friction.

By contrast, my last ex was a nightmare. She did everything around the house, without me having to ask, and I was a kept man. I had my meals ready and I always had clean clothes just magically appear in the wardrobe. But because she was a functioning, neurotypical person who did all those things reliably every day, she held me to the same standard. If I was tired from work and would rather sack it off to play Battlefield, there was almost certainly an argument in store. She had absolutely no empathy or understanding for the times I felt down and just wanted to vegetate on the sofa. As far as she was concerned I was simply being a lazy cunt.

So really, even though sometimes I think back to her, and ask myself "Christ, what were you thinking getting rid of her? You had it made!", I have to consciously remind myself that there was indeed a reason I ended it. The tension and hostility was unbearable at times. Considering I can count the number of actual arguments I've had with my current partner on one hand, a few plates piling up by the sink isn't the end of the world.

On the other hand, I don't know your situation, so >>437645 might be right.

>>437647
I just want to say that as somebody that likes to be organised and clean I can see it from her perspective, lazy, messy people who think it's not big deal don't raelise the effect it can have on some people.

Similarly I take a view that sometimes I can't be arsed but that doesn't mean my responsibilities stop.

I can see why you'd find it annoying but I totally get it from her view.

>>437649

The thing is it's not about being right. It's about being compatible with each other. You see it as someone being lazy and messy, but the reality is that person simply has different priorities.

We're not talking about student digs or a shared house where it's plain bad manners and childishness to leave your messy plates everywhere. We are talking about an adult cohabiting relationship where living in harmony is the goal.

You might see it as lazy and messy to leave some dishes by the sink, but what you have to understand, and truly internalise, is there's probably some aspect about you that other people see as a character flaw. You think it's all fine and good, but other people look at you and think "Christ, he's such an inconsiderate wanker always doing X and Y".

My point was not about whether it's right or wrong to procrastinate on chores. My point is that you'll be happier with someone who shares your point of view on the matter.

>>437649

Yeah I think you missed his point by a country mile there lad. If things like that are a deal breaker you shouldn't be with someone who's the polar opposite. If otherlad has realised he's ultimately happier with a lazy person who doesn't nag him, versus an active person he gets into constant arguments with, he has much clearer perspective than you.

>>437654
I've not missed the point, it's just he's calling her a nightmare. But I think what I'm trying to say it's more incompatibility, rather than her being a nightmare. To her, he's as annoying as she was to him.

Just leave. Walk away or throw out. Play Paranoid by Black Sabbath really loud, get some balls, move on.

>>437656

Oh she was a nightmare lad, I'm not going to go on for ages about it but I was definitely the more reasonable one. She took it upon herself to do all the housework because she only liked it done her way, the rows weren't about me not doing the housework. The arguments were one half utterly trivial shit, and the other half accusing me of cheating on her.

What I'm saying is that it wasn't worth putting up with her completely neurotic personality just for the sake of not having to do my own laundry. I'm easy going enough to let the dishes slide with my current girlfriend because she's easy going with me about anything annoying I might do.

Basically there's trade-offs with any relationship, and the lad who was moaning about his girlfriend might not realise how good he has it in some ways just because she's disappointing in others.

I can't abide by people who think it's unacceptable to leave the washing up for a day or two, provided it's your own house and not a shared flat or something. Just get a life for fuck's sake, haven't you got more than two plates in the cupboard or what?

It's always a red flag on the dating apps if a lass mentions something along those lines, because you know she's going to be the kind of joyless cunt who will start putting twigs in jars and expect you to act like she's done something clever. The kind of bird who's been single for six years but often loudly complains that men are all only after one thing when they don't get on one knee after the second fucking date.

>>437656

Nobody likes a cunt who sticks up for the ex in this sort of conversation mate, it's a very That Guy thing to do. It's safe to say he knows her better than you.

>>437665
I'm not saying I know her better, what a ridiculous thing to even imply I'm saying, I'm just saying I can understand why somebody might find a messy adults not cleaning up and having their place of living a bit grim.

You seem to be projecting a little bit, maybe it's because you too don't like washing up and so are trying to strawman the people that do?

It's the same reason why when you go into a hotel they don't leave the last customer's dirty bed sheets and plates and collect them two days ino your stay, or why they wipe down your tables in restaurants and don't collect the last person's side dish 15 minutes into your meal. It's not nice.

I'm sure you'll respond about me liking putting twigs in jars or something (?) but I guess for how haughty this place can get, it's funny seeing people defending living like a uni student.

>>437663
I get that, hope you find somebody more suited to you anon, some people are just like that. I think having that easy going approach is a win for everybody.

>>437666

You still seem to be missing the point, anallad.

My ex simultaneously used to not do much of the cleaning and complain that things were messy. Essentially it was a 'when it's my mess it doesn't count' situation. She ended up calling off the relationship because she couldn't live with anyone anymore. I hope she has a moment of realisation when she has no clean clothes or when the rubbish overflows or when the sink is filled with cat bowls still with food in them that she was the engineer of her fate.

>>437666

They aren't projecting they are saying if something is important to one person and the other person considered it live or die they are a shitty match. It is really quite simple.

The one who seems to be projecting is you. No one cares how clean you are no one is going to be convinced they should be as clean as you.

>>437670
I'd be interested to know where I said people should care how clean I am.

I, again, just said that I can see why some people might find it annoying and agree it's a poor match.

Anyway I'm off to wipe down some sides.

>>437671
>I'd be interested to know where I said people should care how clean I am.

>Anyway I'm off to wipe down some sides.

It is a mystery.

>>437672
Don't be such a humourless bore, you can't honestly think that was a serious post.

>>437666

>I get that, hope you find somebody more suited to you anon,

He's clearly been comparing to his current partner and saying how much better matched they are the entire conversation lad. No wonder people think you're missing the point, you don't even appear to have been paying attention.

>>437673

Jokes are funny.

>>437669

I had an ex like that - leaving a single screwdriver on a kitchen table was apparently an issue, but her leaving a pile of clothes on the bedroom floor was normal. If I left shaving cream out on the sink it would be hastily hidden in a cupboard, despite the top of that cupboard being piled high with her moisturisers etc. Me working on a bike in the garden was 'stressful' in case I got oil everywhere, while she'd drip and overspreay paint everywhere trying to spray our outdoor bench silver, with no consultation with me.

These were all little things that in truth didn't really annoy me that much at the time, I wasn't that bothered as she wasn't stopping me from doing anything, just mildly complaining about some of it, and the rest of the relationship was fine, until it wasn't - her behaviours grew more controlling and unreasonable as time went on. I realise now that those initial little "it's okay if I do it" jabs were exactly how my mum used to act too. I don't really know what it is, other that perhaps a strong nesting instinct taken too far. It's not like my ex or indeed my mum were ever housewives, though, they worked.

>>437678

It has taken me a lot of time to realise the importance of, for want of a better description, being a team. A relationship can survive an awful lot of bullshit and madness if you feel like you're working together and have each other's backs; conversely, the tiniest of niggles can snowball into total misery if you feel like adversaries. It's one thing to lose an argument (or even most arguments), but it's another thing entirely to feel like the other person is trying to beat you in some kind of battle for dominance.

Weirdly, I think that relationships are in some ways more challenging now that I'm a financially secure adult. When I was a daft skint younglad, there was always the common enemy of poverty to fight against, a sense of shared purpose to just make it to the next payday. We might have bickered and fought, but we both knew that we had bigger problems that we couldn't beat alone. The sort of women I go out with now tend to be nitpicky and neurotic in a way that poverty just doesn't permit; I used to feel like a partner in crime (sometimes literally), but now I often feel like a lifestyle accessory.

Maybe it's just the warm glow of nostalgia talking, I dunno.

>>437681
>A relationship can survive an awful lot of bullshit and madness if you feel like you're working together and have each other's backs; conversely, the tiniest of niggles can snowball into total misery if you feel like adversaries.

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Every day is like survival
You're my lover, not my rival 𝅘𝅥𝅮

>>437681

Nail on the head. In fact I'm pretty certain that's the same analogy I used when breaking up with nightmare lass, the fact that it felt like I had to fight against her instead of us being on the same team.

If you don't have each other's back, then what do you have?

>>437682

He could handcuff me to a radiator and beat me with a chain IYKWIM.

>>437681

> A relationship can survive an awful lot of bullshit and madness if you feel like you're working together and have each other's backs; conversely, the tiniest of niggles can snowball into total misery if you feel like adversaries.


I think at some level, love is still the decisive glue that can hold a relationship together even when you're occasionally being cunts to each other. If a lass that I am with is doing my fucking head in on a particular occasion but I know I still care about her, then that's going to be water under the bridge soon after. But when a relationship is in its dying phase anyway and a partner rubs me the wrong way, then it will add to my resentment and my feeling that I can no longer stand the sight of her, and something quite small can then indeed balloon into a fierce major argument. I've been through breakups where the trigger was a minor disagreement over what time we said we were going to meet that day. But it was only the tip of the iceberg, and once the gloves were off, one thing led to another and we decided that it was time to break up. Not because she said 4 o'clock and I was of the impression that we said 4:30, but it was the last in a long line of disagreements that we had kept bottled up.

When my girlfriend washes up she'll only do about half a dozen pots before she puts in fresh waster. If I wash up she complains if I wash the dishes in dirty water, but they're always rinsed afterwards so I'm struggling to see what the problem is.

>>437865
Bacteria doesn't come off with a rinse.

I remembered today how angry I used to get that my mum used to throw a fit if you put a dirty dish in the dishwasher - she would clean and scrub everything before loading them into the machine.

I tried to get her to put an actually dirty plate in to show her what would happen, but she refused outright. I think this is where my deep psychological issues with women began.

>>437867
My dad is similar to this. He's had a longstanding mistrust of dishwashers.

>>437866

It does if you've already done most of the work, and besides, you shouldn't be leaving them long enough to develop significant bacterial growth in the first place.

In fact, unless you throw away your sponge and use a new one each time (which only a mentalist would do), you're significantly more likely to be applying bacteria to your dishes than vice versa. Leaving a damp sponge full of little food particles out on the side to dry is a breeding ground.

Germophobia is not a healthy obsession. Germs are everywhere and they're mostly fine. Unilever and Johnson and Johnson have simply broken our minds.

>>437869
> Unilever and Johnson and Johnson have simply broken our minds.

Fair play, mine was pretty fragile to begin with.

Oh good, we're back.
That was a scary few days.

What happened?

>>437873
Domain expired and there was fuckery with renewing it.

I don't know if it's just the women I've been with, but is it common for them to have an issue with direct communication? For example, my girlfriend will say "I'm thirsty" rather than outright asking if I'll make a drink for her and other things along those lines.

>>438818

I'm convinced a lot of women are somewhere on the spectrum, we just don't notice because of gender norms and all that.

How often do you ask your missus a simple yes or no question, only for her to answer an almost totally different question as though she was trying to read between the lines and answer what you were really asking?

>>438818
Sounds like just her. You can be passive aggressive and respond 'Well I'll have a tea if you're making one' or something until she gets the hint, or you can have a candid chat about how you're happy to do stuff for her if she is only polite enough to make a direct request.

>>438818

The old phaenomenon.

"The rubbish bin is full" means YOU need to take out the rubbish.

"I'm cold" means YOU are expected to go and turn up the heat.

If you're so emancipated, what's wrong with taking the rubbish out yourself, or getting up and walking ten feet to the thermostat dial.

But just tell your missus "Then go and turn up the heat". You'll be the selfish knobhead for expecting her to do something about the fact that SHE is feeling cold, which doesn't quite say anything about whether or not YOU are feeling cold as well at that moment.

>>438821
>>438820

Great advice if you want to slowly drive your relationship into the ground lads. Petty behaviour like that will gradually build up into a mountain of resentment.

>>438824
I think some of the people replying to this thread have never had a girlfriend, let alone one that lives with them.

>>438824
Bullshit.

Don't take an guff from these swine, treat em mean keep em keen.

You need to look in to their eyes and tell them that they are strong and capible of doing anything a man can do, like making their own tea.

>>438826

Let's change it from making her a brew, to making her cum. Do you apply the same logic, or do you oblige her in that instance?

Just make her a brew now and again lad, it's only if she doesn't return the favour that you've got a problem.

>>438827

>Let's change it from making her a brew, to making her cum. Do you apply the same logic, or do you oblige her in that instance?

I apply the same logic, but that's because sex isn't something held up as something for me to jump for in my healthy relationships.

I will observe reciprocity, but the examples in this thread are sounding far more like entitlement of bitches with princess syndrome than anything.

>>438828

>Mmm, why don't you come to bed early tonight babe

>Fuck off, you've got a rabbit haven't you?

Proper catch you aren't you.

Enough with the pissing contest, lads.

>>438829

I see, When your girlfriend lets you do her laundry does she leave her underwear in there for you to sniff? Do you get to taste her shoe as she kicks you after you have delivered her tea? Is she kind enough to let you listen from behind the door when she has sex?

if she doe,s she sounds like a keeper.

>>438827

>Let's change it from making her a brew, to making her cum. Do you apply the same logic, or do you oblige her in that instance?

Are you honestly saying that the two are the same, lad?

>>438831

What an absurd series of projections. Has your carer told you off for going on the other place too much or something? Good grief.

>>438832

No, but the logic is. Relationships are about doing things for each other, in reciprocation, out of kindness, care, and love. If you've got a problem making your bird a brew I'd suggest it means something else is at fault somewhere down the line.

>>438833

>If you've got a problem making your bird a brew I'd suggest it means something else is at fault somewhere down the line.

That's a big leap, lad.

>>438834

Nowhere near as big of a leap as the lad who seems to think making his partner a cup of tea is the first step towards her making him wear lacy panties and suck her bull's dick clean.

There's a lot of insecurity betrayed over the last few posts.

>>438833

>What an absurd series of projections. Has your carer told you off for going on the other place too much or something? Good grief.

Maybe you should pull your head out of your arse and read the post I was replying to. Then maybe you'd see my ridiculous example is equivalent to the post before it. But then you probably made it which would go someway as to explaining why the point I was making was lost on you foot sniffer.

>>438835

If your bird asks you to make the tea once in a line that is fine, if she expects you to always make the tea and empty the bins and do the cleaning then you have a problem. The key point here is reciprocal.

>>438836

Ooooh, alright love, don't get your ovaries in a twist.

>>438837

Pretty much this.

Let's not get all MGTOW in this thread. But there sometimes comes a point in some relationships where the lass just expects that everything is handed to her. It is not the norm, and you are not enslaving yourself to your girlfriend just because you make her a nice cuppa now and then. But it happens.

What isn't healthy is if you think that all women are like that. And it also makes you blind to all the things you yourself take for granted in a relationship.

>>438837

>The key point here is reciprocal.

Which is exactly what was said in the first place.

Anyone who's doing everything for their partner and getting nothing back is a mug, but that just stands to reason; but it was equally amusing seeing that first couple of lads get all PUA psychological domination over the idea of making a cuppa.

>>438840

>but it was equally amusing seeing that first couple of lads get all PUA psychological domination over the idea of making a cuppa.

The manosphere is leaking again.

>>438840

Don't you have bins to take out before you bump into a door again lad?

See lads, this is a bit /emo/ but this is why I can't do it. I'm 28 and I've been single for a decade. I just see my mates and their girlfriends and I can't bring myself to even attempt to join them, playing these kinds of games and falling out over what went on the barbecue first, or misspoken words after a few drinks, and dumb shit like that. I've seen them get into bad places and really stupid games for a crumb of pussy.

Unless I somehow undeservingly pull a complete angel, or some kind of clone, out of the bag first time, I can't imagine myself going through a series of relationships, I'm not desirable enough to a broad enough clade of people.

Also I've never had full sex with a woman and the couple of times it looked on my dick stopped working, but ho hum.

>>438843
What, you think you're so fucking perfect? Because I guarantee you any lass who falls for you is going to be just as irritated by your flaws as you are by hers. Human beings who aren't a chore to be around to a lesser or greater extent are as rare as gold nuggets on Brighton beach. The point is that while navigating your relationships you have to discern what is healthy and what is intolerable. And that's the dating game - dive into it while you're young.

>>438843

It's worth asking yourself why you have such a bad opinion about relationships. You're not going to have one, ever, if you think they are all like that.

Yes, you can find yourself playing games in relationships, but to think that that's reason enough to not enter a relationship in the first place is just stupid. You are going to have to take the good with the bad, but I think that's still a better prospect than spending ten years of the prime of your life single and unfucked.

Just out of curiosity, did your parents get divorced, or do they have a cold and unloving relationship? A lot of times, people who think like you come from families where they didn't experience an intact relationship of their parents while they were growing up.

>>438843
Do you particularly want or need a relationship? If you've been okay the past decade.

Disclaimer: I'm not an chronic masturbator lads, I'm not particularly bitter and I don't feel owed anything or whatever. I don't want to sound like that.

>>438844

I'm really not perfect, I just can't be arsed. Especially when I'm a man of limited looks and dating confidence who would be lucky to get an opportunity anyway. Unfortunately I have to really show my personality to people usually, I'll never be a quick pull that ends up working out. This has led to my mates' exes messaging me months or years down the line showing interest but I wouldn't want to go there.

Maybe I've just been spoilt by my mates, I have a couple that I've been friends with since I was a boy, and we could sit with in silence for hours and it wouldn't be awkward, we never argue. Maybe I need a bloke, I'm not totally against the idea. At least then everything is generally more out in the open instead of subtext.

>>438845

I'd say my parents had a fairly normal relationship on the surface when I was growing up, but under the surface there was maybe a slight element of my dad being controlling with my mum, not stopping her doing things but maybe conditioning her to what to expect in life, I'm not sure how deliberately or if he just felt powerless himself. I couldn't be like that with someone, or "baby" them like some of my mates have had to.

>>438846

No, I'm generally quite happy to be alone doing my hobbies or reading or whatever, I need to work on myself though. I've got fatter and work seems to fatigue me more, so I just vegetate when I get home instead of actually doing anything, which gets a bit depressive at times. There's plenty of time in the day and I make nothing of it for weeks at a time, other than seeing friends.

It would probably be good for me though, help drag me to normality instead of becoming a weird hermit man in my 50s. I'm not going clothes shopping or any daft shite like that, but it would be nice to love someone and go on holidays and just... be together?

Posted without comment:

>>438850

>I couldn't be like that with someone, or "baby" them like some of my mates have had to.

I'm still sensing that you got a bit of a bad view on relationships in general from that. It's one thing to say you want your romantic relationships to be different from the way your parents treated each other. And that's fine. But something about that seems to make you think it's better not to have a relationship at all. Because you're not saying what you would do instead, just that that's not a good example for you.

Bit of a reach here, just my general impression I get from you reading your posts, lad.

Maybe the key really is to stop thinking what you don't want your relationships to be like, and start replacing that with positive thoughts and ideas about what you would want out of an actual relationship and an actual partner.

>>438843

I've said it before and I'll say it again: The kind of Man who gets into those situations of petty grievances and and subconscious power struggles with a woman only does so because he has no respect for himself. He finds it tolerable to put up with that kind of woman because he doesn't think he can do better. He internalises a deeply negative perception of women in general simply because he's never had the spine, the courage, or the testicular fortitude to go after one whom he can see as an equal.

I've had my fair share of negative experiences with women, of course I have. And I feel a lot of sympathy for the kind of lad who's probably going to struggle right now to attract a decent partner when it's such a buyer's market for birds on the dating apps and such. It's high time women realise how easy they've got it in that regard. But nevertheless, there are good women out there. You just have to be a solid enough example of an actual man to attract them. The first thing to accept is that you must work on yourself, before you can attain the kind of woman who is worthy of respect.

I cannot respect the kind of man who is too weak and servile to take ownership of himself like that. The kind who gets stuck in those loveless, joyless relationship instead of growing some balls and dumping her. He cannot respect himself.

>>438863


> The kind of Man who gets into those situations of petty grievances and and subconscious power struggles with a woman only does so because he has no respect for himself. He finds it tolerable to put up with that kind of woman because he doesn't think he can do better.

I think it's more that some people just let the world have its way with them because they very generally never learned to stick up for themselves. For most of those people, it's not going to be limited to what goes on in a romantic relationships with a (female) partner. Being with a bossy wife or girlfriend and being afraid to do something about it is one thing, but you'll very likely fare the same in other areas of your life as well, e.g. at work or with certain friends who keep taking advantage of your friendship.


>when it's such a buyer's market for birds on the dating apps and such

True to some extent, but women still compete against each other for the biggest catches of the pond. Meaning it's also a question of what you bring to the table. If you've got a weak personality and there is nothing exciting or special about you, then yes, you will be overlooked by many women, especially on dating apps. But dating apps, most of which are really just hookup apps, are still only one of many ways of meeting somebody. And you are not going to find out during the five seconds that you look at somebody's Tinder profile if they're really a good match for you. Loads of couples still meet the old fashioned way, i.e. at work, through their friends, or by pursuing a hobby or special interest with others. Why put yourself under the pressure of sticking out against thousands of other lads, and having barely five seconds to do so before a lass moves on to the next profile on her phone. If a market doesn't play out in your favour, go to a different market and advertise yourself there, is what I am saying.