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|>>|| No. 428025
My other half has squeezed all of the washing up liquid into a Kilner bottle.
Lads, I don't get it. I really don't get it. I mean, I gave up trying to understand women a long time ago but every now and then something happens that leaves me utterly flummoxed beyond all comprehension. Is 'WITH NOTHING TO SAY BECAUSE I AM A CUNT' still wordfiltered? I mean, she's moved it from one bottle... to another bottle. It doesn't even pour that well so you always end up using more than you intended to. I doubt anyone in the entire history of humankind has ever thought "washing up liquid in a glass bottle, nice." It's bright yellow and she also pours the cooking oil into a Kilner bottle, which she doesn't store too far away from it, so I can almost certainly guarantee at some point in the future she'll end up frying food in washing up liquid. The lid is also a faff. Just... why? Why, lads?
Can you lads please reassure me that your lasses do stupid shit like this?
|>>|| No. 428026
Send her some statistics on single use plastic waste and explain how what she's doing doesn't help at all.
|>>|| No. 428029
Clearly a lad who's never had a bird.
They do utterly illogical things, not just things that are slightly inefficient, but things that go against any possible thread of sensible thought whatsoever. And the worst thing you can ever possibly do is try and reason with them about it.
Don't worry OP, you're not alone. All my my previous partners did ridiculous stuff like this at some stage or another. My current missus is only an exception because I'm fairly sure she's on the spectrum.
|>>|| No. 428031
There are big wooden letters mounted on my living room wall that spell "LOVE" and all my kitchen utensils are stored in mismatched vases from a charity shop. There's a plant in a welly outside, and enough fairy lights to guide in a helicopter.
There's no point fighting it - though she didn't notice for about two weeks that I'd changed the letters to say "VOLE" so who even fucking knows why they bother.
I'd recommend switching the bottles around deliberately.
|>>|| No. 428032
well that's clearly the reasoning behind it isn't it. practicality is put second to her vision of a model home, it doesn't function as a living space but you can look at it and feel warm and fuzy that it is yours and YOU've shaped your enviroment, and expressed yourself in the stylistic choices YOU've made, like having matching glass bottles for everything.
OP if you are looking for a friend to invite over to accidently break it and therefore never be invited round again but you can live with sanity I'm willing to take the hit.
|>>|| No. 428033
>it doesn't function as a living space but you can look at it and feel warm and fuzy that it is yours
And more importantly when you have guests over, they'll see it, and know that it is yours. It's basically the female equivalent of having a flash car or expensive wristwatch.
>There are big wooden letters mounted on my living room wall that spell "LOVE"
That's grounds for re-evaluating the relationship, however. Next thing you know she'll have you watching I'm A Celebrity and using bath bombs.
Unless she's cat-ears-at-work girl, in which case fair play to you lad.
|>>|| No. 428034
I think women often care more for, not exactly the aesthetics, but something akin to that, of how things are in a home. Having being brought up by a single father I can't say this is inherently worse than a totally functional way of living that men seem to skew towards, which often leads to a house that feels like a garage lock up by way of a computer fair, rather than a home. I've seen men do this who aren't my father too. However, washing up liquid does belong in a squeezy bottle, you're right. It's not like you can buy it loose either, so what's the point of putting it into another container? Do either of you make your own? Even then you could reuse a plastic bottle.
Enjoy your bacon la Fairy Liquid, OP.
|>>|| No. 428035
>I think women often care more for, not exactly the aesthetics, but something akin to that, of how things are in a home.
It's nest-building really, isn't it. There's a part of our lizard brains that still compels us to be very predictable when it comes to gender roles, and it manifests in women decorating the cave and men leaving their pointy sticks all over the shop.
|>>|| No. 428036
Is she just going to top it up when it gets 3/4 empty.
Washing up bottles are squeezy so you can squeeze some out when grabity gives up.
Does your better half have some sort of special power that allows her to manipulate matter on an atomic level to make it soft?
|>>|| No. 428037
>Next thing you know she'll have you watching I'm A Celebrity and using bath bombs.
There's far to many lads at work who are really into Love Island but claim they only watch it because their girlfriends put it on.
|>>|| No. 428039
>Does your better half have some sort of special power that allows her to manipulate matter on an atomic level to make it soft?
Women don't care. They're more often than not happy to stubbornly persist with something rather than admit they are wrong and lose face, especially in front of a partner.
It's like the trope about women complaining about the toilet seat being left up. The real reason behind this is generally that they have fallen down the toilet at some point because they didn't check to see whether the seat was down before sitting. Is it their fault for not looking before sitting down? Of course not, it's the man's fault for leaving the seat up in the first place. That and women don't realise how much piss they spray on the underside of the toilet seat, because they never fucking wipe it off, sometimes leaving menstruate there to stain it too.
|>>|| No. 428040
>They're more often than not happy to stubbornly persist with something rather than admit they are wrong and lose face
Thankfully men never do this and are Spock-esque in their commitment to rationality and logic.
|>>|| No. 428043
>Unless she's cat-ears-at-work girl, in which case fair play to you lad.
She's actually pretty good in this department, everything you could imagine in a kitchen to have a picture of a cat on and some things you couldn't (like the cutlery) has a picture of a cat on it. But it is all functional.
The bedroom has an entire book shelf used to display/store her collection of what must be 50 cat ears and tails and there are enough stuffed animals around the house to populate a game reserve but that's all really.
The greatest aesthetic white elephant in the house is actually my Lego street it is around a dozen buildings strong and it must run a solid 2 and a half meters along the top of some IKEA storage units now.
What you need to do is get her to pick out a squirt hand pump head she likes so you can stick it in the top of the bottle. It's the best you can do to mitigate this whilst accepting her choice.
|>>|| No. 428044
Oh actually that's a lie there is storage space being used to display dolls and figurines nicely spaced out.
|>>|| No. 428046
>my Lego street it is around a dozen buildings strong and it must run a solid 2 and a half meters along the top of some IKEA storage units now
I think you need to grow up and get into model trains.
|>>|| No. 428047
It is like stepping into otaku wet dream but only not one focused around being a weaboo.
If there is an agument to be made for the infantilizing of millenials we are probably a case study.
|>>|| No. 428050
>I think you need to grow up and get into model trains.
I live in london I don't even have the space for even an N gage track.
I went to one of the big events at Alexandra palace last year I was probably one of the youngest people by 20 years. Highlight was the model of 1980s Brighton train station with half a dozen british rail people in high vis just standing around staring at a bit of track.
|>>|| No. 428051
Why, who is it hurting?
There are a lot stranger things people do for aesthetic that you accept because it is more common. Why would I want a sterile house with vapid buzz phrases on the walls and impratical washing up liquid storage, when I could have one with things I like?
|>>|| No. 428052
>Why would I want a sterile house with vapid buzz phrases on the walls
Oi, everyone likes to be reminded of love, alright?!
|>>|| No. 428053
Who's being hurt by an entire infantilised generation? Arguably everyone, particularly yourselves.
|>>|| No. 428055
I'm going to have to fight him, obviously, but I sometimes wish my missus was actually as vapid and mindless as her interior design suggests. It must be dead easy to live with a bird that's as sharp as a pebble and as thick as mince.
|>>|| No. 428056
You've mistaken the symptom with the cause.
If I could afford a semi detached with a nice garden I would spend my weekend mowing the lawn and making self improvements. Since I can't I have a shoe box with some toys in it to spend my spare time on instead. You also seem to have missed the point to begin with that I live with a cat girl of course our lives are going to be fringe culture. It would be like you wagging your finger at a hippy 50 years ago.
|>>|| No. 428077
To be fair, alongside the big wooden letters and signs about prosecco, we also have a track bike on the wall and shit like that, so I don't want the good stuff to get wrecked in my place either.
We could fight in the hall where she's hung loads of stained glass ornaments that all look like fancy drinks coasters. That'd help.
|>>|| No. 428109
I've kind of always disliked the way women clutter up a place with useless tat.
How, in all honesty, does it improve your living surroundings inside your house or flat to have tacky stained glass ornaments hung in the hall.
Also, I may not be a home decoration expert, but wasn't stained glass more a thing in the 80s?
|>>|| No. 428115
The answer to how it improves your living space, is supposed to be that it's visually pleasing, but of course that's in the eye of the beholder. I concede they probably do look better than an entirely bare wall. But at the same time, you're right, clutter is just clutter at the end of the day. My study is cluttered too, but I think I prefer the look of screwdrivers and cables scattered about than completely superfluous and cheap ornamental tat.
I might have described them poorly by saying stained glass. They are coloured glass, but they're more like 2D sculptures or the things in this picture here.
When I lived alone in an apartment, the extent of my wall accoutrements were black and white art prints of photos in black Ikea frames. I thought it looked fine. I also had a couple of plants dotted around the place and that absolutely floored a few of the lasses I took back there, the ones that commented all made it clear they equal parts impressed and suspicious that a man was capable of buying and maintaining house plants. I suppose what I learned there was that the bar for a single man's home decor is incredibly fucking low.
|>>|| No. 428116
>How, in all honesty, does it improve your living surroundings inside your house or flat to have tacky stained glass ornaments hung in the hall.
Mine gets ornaments with owls on them. Shitloads of owls.
|>>|| No. 428118
>the ones that commented all made it clear they equal parts impressed and suspicious that a man was capable of buying and maintaining house plants.
Maintaining house plants isn't witchcraft or black magic. You just read up on how to keep the species of plants happy that you've bought, and then water them as suggested and add a bit of fertiliser now and then.
I've succeeded at growing tomatoes, chili peppers, and cacti from seeds, and I've got a collection of plants like yucca, ficus and other things. And I'm hardly a poof.
I think it's just a cliché that single men are inherently helpless when it comes to things like plant care, cooking, laundry, house cleaning, and all the other things like that. Maybe I'm just an exception, but even then, I'm proof that men can function on their own without pizza boxes and dirty socks piling up in the livingroom.
More than that, some of the wives and girlfriends of my friends tend to be smug, overweening bints about the perceived, not necessarily real, lack of basic housekeeping skills of their lads. And the lads have internalised it in a kind of "yeah... what am I like, eh" kind of way. Not to get all MRA here, but have some fucking pride, lads.
|>>|| No. 428119
Well would you be fine with just concreate rooms with no windows and a matress? These things are a question of degrees about what is wholly practical and what looks nice and is therefore psychologically comforting.
|>>|| No. 428120
>More than that, some of the wives and girlfriends of my friends tend to be smug, overweening bints about the perceived, not necessarily real, lack of basic housekeeping skills of their lads. And the lads have internalised it in a kind of "yeah... what am I like, eh" kind of way. Not to get all MRA here, but have some fucking pride, lads.
I think it goes back to a time before worker equallity, where women psychologically justified their value in ways like that. The alternative was to face the idea you were a second class citizen. No you were better at it, rather than demoted to it, and they were helpless with out you.
|>>|| No. 428121
>Well would you be fine with just concreate rooms with no windows and a matress?
No, but that's not what a typical lad pad looks like, is it.
|>>|| No. 428122
Good shout mate. I might have slight OCD which makes me better at looking after myself than a lot of lads who live alone; but it does wind me up when women have that patronising motherly attitude, as if all men are just inherently childish and incapable. Like you I've also observed it in a lot of my mates, one of whom I go so far as to cheekily ask her "Is Anon playing out today?" when I call over and she answers the door.
It was actually a pretty big motivation for me to split up with my previous partner, she would do everything before I had chance (I worked longer hours) and then try to make those smarmy remarks about me not knowing how to use the washing machine and so on. I actually felt like she was trying to make me forget how to look after myself to force me into dependency.
In today's age of equality I think men should happily be able to say fuck you, I wash my own pants, and my interior decor is a masterpiece of modern minimalism. Everything is dark brown and slate, and your fucking vases full of sticks from 2010 make me sick to the stomach.
|>>|| No. 428123
>I think it goes back to a time before worker equallity, where women psychologically justified their value in ways like that. The alternative was to face the idea you were a second class citizen. No you were better at it, rather than demoted to it, and they were helpless with out you.
This is true, but bear in mind that back then, you actually did have to do a fair bit to keep the house fit to inhabit. Manually firing up a coal stove every day to heat the water and house for the day while your fella was out working 12 hours darn't pit was no easy task and I don't buy the idea that women didn't have a right to be proud of what they did.
It became less impressive when we invented machines to do all those tasks,
rendering women obsolete allowing The Capitalist to dilute the workforce by a full half.
|>>|| No. 428128
That is true. Virtually all household chores and tasks were infinitely more time consuming 50 to 70 years ago, when many homes still didn't have washing machines, vacuum cleaners, dishwashers... the lot. Even freezers weren't in every home.
Also, ready-made frozen or instant meals weren't very common either, meaning that cooking a wholesome family meal took many hours. All this was not something you could just whip up in half an hour after work every night. Being a housewife in those days was a full time job in itself.
All the finishing schools for future housewives weren't solely an invention by the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society to keep women down. Being a good housewife was a proper skilled job in the 1940s and 50s.
IMO it's not complete coincidence that the start of the fisherperson movement in the 1970s came at the same time that basic household appliances became ever more affordable. Women suddenly had much more free time on their hands, and they got to thinking that they really didn't like being stuck at home pleasing their husbands all their lives, while at the same time being completely financially dependent on them.
|>>|| No. 428130
I honestly think this is a neglected area of thought. Culturally, we talk about domestic division of labour quite a lot, but it's easy to forget that taking responsibility for something also gives you control over that aspect of someone's life. It's plain to see when it's as black and white as earning money and controlling finances, but more subtle when it's a homemaker overseeing your diet, living conditions, hygiene, everyday habits, etc..
In a lot of traditional cultures this is, I think quite interestingly, recognised as a kind of power over domestic and family life.
|>>|| No. 428132
>ready-made frozen or instant meals weren't very common either, meaning that cooking a wholesome family meal took many hours
Not that I disagree in general but cooking a decent meal from things other than frozen and instant meals doesn't take all that long.
|>>|| No. 428134
It is a neglected area of thought because there are political interests, and panderings at play. If you aren't careful in what you say there is a good chance a fair chunk of society will hate you for it, and accuse you of being an institutional trout farming apologist.
It is also an area that you wouldn't find funding for in academia in the areas you expect to (like sociology) because there are certain conclusions and naratives the consensus want you to follow that this goes against, historians would probably look on it more favorably, but they would present the processes as free from commentary as possible.
|>>|| No. 428135
Does that include popping down to the butchers because you can't keep meat for much more than a day, and shelling the peas, and a load of other crapwork you may not immediately think of?
(I remember shelling peas, peeling and chopping things as a kid. It wasn't zero-time, and took bowls and stuff that needed washing. Come to thin kof it, veg needed a decent washing too).
No part of this takes an age, but it all adds up.
|>>|| No. 428136
Depends how far back we're going. You've been able to store meat in the fridge for almost a hundred years now, we've had iceboxes for two hundred, cool rooms have always been around and so has preserved meat. We've only really eaten meat regularly for around the same time as fridges have been around, it wasn't farmed as intensively before that. That's correlation, not cause. Most veg might take a bit longer to prep but you can do a big stew that'll last for a few days, reducing the accumulated time taken massively. Rich people have cooks, poor people eat hunks of bread and cheese or dripping. Mashed potato doesn't take much doing, a simple roast takes time but not labour, then you'll eat slices of it cold for the next few days.
|>>|| No. 428137
>>428136 regular people haven't had fridges for 100 years. I remember my grandparents getting their first, in the 70s, and they were pretty average people oop north. Their house certainly wasn't big enough to carve off a bit for a cool room. There was a larder / store cupboard, where most things lived, but it wasn't notably cool.
Popping to the shops for the makings of that day's meal was definitely a thing, only tins and some veg, plus eggs, got stored. Milk was delivered, as it was needed early and wouldn't survive a day in the summer.
|>>|| No. 428138
There was also a bizarrely competetive edge to the housewifing. Getting up at ungodly-o'clock to scrub the steps, get the washing on the line before the neighbours saw your unmentionables, black the stove & fire. Not doing these things made you a slattern.
Serving 2-day-old stew, like your very sensible suggestion? Fuck, no.
|>>|| No. 428141
I'd link you a video of the school mum game from the film Her. But unfortunately all the keywords are so ubiquitous it is impossible to search for it online.
It is making very much your point though!
|>>|| No. 428142
I'm just going to put myself on the side of preferring women not being indentured servants, no matter how noble it might have been.
|>>|| No. 428143
Nobody is saying they should be, lad, but I'm glad you got your shipping forecast in there.
|>>|| No. 428144
No, but people are speaking fondly of such a time and I don't think it's a stretch to interpret that as tacit endorsement. I don't really see why you've drawn attention to the fact that I disagree with you when that was clearly the intention of my post, but whatever, I'm sure you felt clever pointing that out.
|>>|| No. 428146
>No, but people are speaking fondly of such a time
Which people? I'm curious as to what you classify as speaking fondly. Surely not the acknowledgement that housework used to be harder?
|>>|| No. 428147
Can't stand messy clutter, minimalism is the way forward.
One or two key items that blend in, a plant maybe and that's it. Everything else neatly out of sight.
My old gf loved to just keep useless crap and it drove me mental.
|>>|| No. 428148
>It is a neglected area of thought because there are political interests, and panderings at play. If you aren't careful in what you say there is a good chance a fair chunk of society will hate you for it, and accuse you of being an institutional trout farming apologist.
>No, but people are speaking fondly of such a time and I don't think it's a stretch to interpret that as tacit endorsement.
Res ipsa loquitur!
|>>|| No. 428149
It is time someone had the courage to say something as controverial as indentured servants are bad.
|>>|| No. 428151
>It's plain to see when it's as black and white as earning money and controlling finances, but more subtle when it's a homemaker overseeing your diet, living conditions, hygiene, everyday habits, etc..
There's a joke which is eluding me that I think is based on a quote by Einstein.
It's something like... In my marriage we agreed I make all of the big decisions while my wife makes all of the little decisions. Little decisions such as how many children we have, when and where we go on holiday, how often we change the car, home improvements, what we eat, what we wear, etc. We haven't had a single big decision to make yet.
My Dad is certainly mothered by my Mum. If she dies first then he is absolutely fucked because he will not be able to function as an independent adult. I've come across plenty of men his age who have devolved almost all responsibility to their wives and are incapable of making a decision without having it approved first.
|>>|| No. 428164
> If she dies first then he is absolutely fucked because he will not be able to function as an independent adult. I've come across plenty of men his age who have devolved almost all responsibility to their wives and are incapable of making a decision without having it approved first.
There are quite a few young men who move out from their parents' and straight in with their first serious girlfriend. The problem then really being that such a lad probably never learned to cook, do laundry and ironing, grocery shopping, or clean up after himself because mum always did those things for him. And now he's moved in with his girlfriend, and even if they don't end up married to each other, he'll probably go from one relationship to the next where he'll always have his partner do all of it.
I maintain that living single for a few years is one of the most valuable experiences that a young lad can have. To be completely self sufficient with all the little jobs around the place that need doing but have nobody else to do them but yourself.
I can iron, do laundry, cook, wash up, I know how to use a vacuum cleaner, I can sew on a button, the works. I don't need a woman in my life to do any of that for me. The only reason I really want to be with another woman again sooner or later is really the sex and the companionship. More or less in that order.
|>>|| No. 428167
This is what one of my mates did. What sometimes troubles me is that he often seems unhappy with the situation, but if he should want to, he simply does not know how to get himself out of it. Seven years on, they're married with a mortgage.
She can do essentially whatever she wants- He could walk in on her fucking three other blokes, and he wouldn't know how to even start navigating the conversation about breaking up, let alone the process of separating their lives. He'd just have to let it happen.
Doing your own washing up and cooking a pot noodle isn't rocket science. I have faith that even the worst manchildren can suss it out when/if they need to. But it's definitely more than just a sitcom trope that some men surrender huge chunks of autonomy to their partners, for better or worse.
|>>|| No. 428171
>She can do essentially whatever she wants- He could walk in on her fucking three other blokes, and he wouldn't know how to even start navigating the conversation about breaking up, let alone the process of separating their lives. He'd just have to let it happen.
That's another reason why I think it's valuable life experience for a lad to spend a year or two, maybe even longer, having to fend completely for himself without outside help and interference. With no women in their lives except for the occasional fling or one night stand. That's how you learn to become an independent human being, and somebody who isn't afraid to take on a fight and be in charge when the situation requires it.
Curiously, the same women who've got hen-pecked husbands at home
start frothing at the gash at that thought tend to somehow find that massively attractive. When the real irony is that they played an active part in turning the lad they're with into the kind of uncapable loser that he is.
|>>|| No. 428172
You aren't saying anything disagreeable, but the Tyler Durden picture is making me want to roll you down a hill anyway.
|>>|| No. 428175
Yeah sorry about that picture, it's much less of a clever idea than I thought last night.
|>>|| No. 428181
Honestly these men deserve it. Imagine being unable to look out for yourself.
The best thing that ever happened to me was an ex-gf of the long term variety just dropping me one day and me going on a mad one and taking a job in a completely different place.
I enjoy being so much on my own that when women do enter my life I find it annoying when they're in my space or don't meetmy standards.
|>>|| No. 428182
>Honestly these men deserve it. Imagine being unable to look out for yourself.
Sounds like victim blaming m8. Imagine saying something similar about a woman.
|>>|| No. 428183
You say "they deserve it", but then admit that the only thing keeping you from being one of these manbabies was an act of chance completely out of your control that, had it not occured, would have left you none the wiser about looking after yourself. Seems a touch, dare I say, smug to act all superior when you were potentially a hair away from becoming mortgaged and married to a woman who'd never have asked you to lift a finger.
|>>|| No. 428188
It's like how my Grandad is smug about quitting cigarettes despite him being told by doctors he could either quit or lose a leg in about six months.
|>>|| No. 428197
We're not talking about female circumcision here, lad. Have some perspective.
I know there are intricate relationship dynamics involved here that can cause a man to sink to the level of inept downtrodden husband. But they can be overcome relatively easily by getting off your arse and growing a pair of quite average sized testicles.
So yeah, unless you're with some sort of manipulative psycho bint for a wife or girlfriend, it's a prison of your own making.
|>>|| No. 428198
>So yeah, unless you're with some sort of manipulative psycho bint for a wife or girlfriend, it's a prison of your own making.
I know I'll be stepping on thin ice to say this, but I think that's sort of the crux of the issue.
A lot of behaviours that would be rightly recognised as manipulative, controlling and even abusive if a bloke did it, are just seen as totally acceptable, even normal, when a woman does it. A lot of men just think that's how life is supposed to be.
Stockholm syndrome seems to kick in very quickly with all the lads I've ever known that have a horrible girlfriend, just like it does with birds who are in relationships with abusive men.
|>>|| No. 428201
Exactly this. I too know what sort of a response this will likely get, but things like controlling finances, what you wear, who you talk to, are all considered huge warning signs, if not direct abuse, when a man does it to a woman, but the opposite is rarely recognised in the same way - and my pet theory is that this is a result of ideas still latent in society that women are weak enough to be taken advantage of and men are expected to be strong enough that if he does what a woman tells him to, it's on him.
I fear I sound like one of those men's rights knobends on reddit but that's quite far from my actual position on the matters of equality.
|>>|| No. 428202
>A lot of behaviours that would be rightly recognised as manipulative, controlling and even abusive if a bloke did it, are just seen as totally acceptable, even normal, when a woman does it.
"I can see who wears the trousers in your relationship!"
|>>|| No. 428205
The key is realising that no person, man or woman, has a right to treat you that way.
And that you are free to exit a relationship like that any time you like. No matter how dense the web of manipulation is that your partner has woven around you.
Jesus Christ, there's fucking bats swooping over my balcony as I am writing this.
|>>|| No. 428224
That's great if you have the strength of will and character to realise it. But in my earlier example I mentioned the mate who moved straight out of his parents house and straight in with a domineering mother hen of a girlfriend. That kind of woman tends to know exactly when she's onto the kind of lad who won't stand his ground, and they're usually not daft about how to secure their position. Naturally she's great mates with the lad's mum, and integrated fully with his closest circle of friends (or rather- their partners). Nothing he says or does will ever be at risk of slipping past her notice.
Right now he accepts his situation, but the point is, he's never had to face the prospect of dismantling a relationship, a living situation, and social group in that way. Once she's that deeply part of his life he's unlikely to even consider it. It begins to look like altogether too much hassle, she knows that, and that's the point.
When I look back on my ex the pattern was similar. The arguments we had were never actually because I had done anything wrong. It was always because I had resisted her control, I had stood up for my boundaries, and that wasn't how it was supposed to work. She only started acting that way after I let her move in and she was legitimately surprised that I'd dumped her, even though it had been nothing but bitter fighting for nearly an entire year. In her head, I was eventually going to buckle, an telling her where to go instead was simply never a possibility she considered. She wasn't as good at it as my mate's Mrs and I'm not as easy to work, but that was what she was aiming for.
Apologies for taking this in a somewhat 101/emo direction but you don't get to talk about these things often, and coming to terms with and recovering from an environment like that is pretty gruelling honestly.
|>>|| No. 428226
Well good on you that you got rid of that no good ex of yours.
There is the school of thought that we learn relationship blueprints in our family as we grow up, and that we are quite likely to repeat what we witness watching our parents as younglads and younglasses. And then that if you come from a family where your mother was an all-controlling termagant like that and your dad was a spineless yes-man, then you are bound to repeat that relationship pattern, not just because that's the kind of relationship blueprint that was shaped in you, but because naturally you also carry half your dad's genes, and as a lass, you also carry half your mum's genes and can have it in you to push around your boyfriend or husband the same way.
On the other hand, my therapist that I saw for a while happened to tell me once that there is another kind of effect that your parents' relationship can have on you, and that is that you say to yourself, fuck no, I don't want to have a relationship like my parents, I'm going to do things differently.
The key to understanding abusive relationships and enabling an abused person to exit such a relationship is that they always consist of one person who dominates, and one person who allows that domination to happen. Now, before the accusations of victim blaming start again, that does not mean that it is a conscious decision to allow someone to dominate and abuse you. Usually, it stems from the fact that you were never given a chance to learn how to stand up for yourself. There may be deeper self worth issues within you which, again, aren't your fault, but all that combined means you just can't seem to succeed at ditching your abuser on your own. And that's where women's aid organisations come in (curiously, I don't think they exist for abused men), and they will build you up and give you emotional support and enable you to stand up for youself and escape your abuser.
I'm not saying you should kill your nagging bitch of a wife with a hammer like Lester Nygaard in Fargo, but that scene really sums up beautifully the kind of dynamic that makes it so hard to exit an abusive relationship.
|>>|| No. 428251
No because there's a country we commonly call "America" so that would be confusing. However many people call people on the southern part of the American continent "South Americans", which you might not have known.
|>>|| No. 428252
I wonder how angry OP will get when they're down to the last bit of washing up liquid and he's got to stare at it for about fourty odd seconds as it slowly runs along the sides of the bottle, before it limply drips out onto his dishes.
He's gonna' go mental.
|>>|| No. 428255
>No because there's a country we commonly call "America" so that would be confusing.
Right, and in this country there's a specific community of people we commonly call "Asian".
|>>|| No. 428257
He'll be too angry to think, even it does occur to him he won't do it. "It's the principle, I shouldn't have to put the water in the bottle so I won't".
Absolutely bonkers, off his head.
|>>|| No. 428258
There's approximately a fifth of the bottle left, which now has a few streaks of dried liquid going down it due to how shit it pours (and because I'm not cleaning it out of principle). I'm tempted to top it up before it's empty with different coloured wash liquid.
|>>|| No. 428267
How does the old joke go... You know you're a redneck if you think Central America means Kansas.
|>>|| No. 428349
And he gets angry and shakes it like a bottle of red sauce, and it just globs out and doesn't make the lovely foam.
Makes me mad just thinking of it.
|>>|| No. 428668
I've been dress shopping with my girlfriend today. Why do women have so many clothes to choose from? It's fucking ridiculous.
|>>|| No. 428669
I've noticed that when it really comes down to it, 90% of it is absolute shit that looks like a Blue Peter presenter threw it together with a hangover. But women are fussy, and their clothing market wouldn't work if they didn't feel like they had lots of choice.
Blokes often complain that they have less to choose from but out of all that choice, men and women still have roughly the same amount of viable, aesthetically pleasing clothing combinations. This is why you more often see a woman dressed like a complete twat than a man.
Men want to go into a shop and come out with something good looking, with as little fuss as possible. Most men don't even want that, they just want jeans and a t-shirt. Whereas women want to feel like they have really achieved something by finding that one perfect dress and pair of heels.
|>>|| No. 428670
I think on the bottom line, men and women just view the purpose of clothing differently. For men, form mainly follows function. You want clothes that suit your needs on the job and in your free time respectively, and ideally ones that make you look just barely sharp and handsome, although even that is negotiable when you look at some lads in the street.
Women, on the other hand, on top of wanting to feel well dressed and attractive, tend to want clothes to be decoration and to reflect the mood they're in, clothes must match their hair colour, overall style, and any number of other attributes that appear relevant on a given day to a woman (around a woman's ovulation, dresses have been proven scientifically to become shorter and more revealing, for one thing).
And so women end up with cupboards full of clothes that were bought one day on a whim because it seemed like a good idea at the time, but then those clothes just disappear into the vastness of that cupboard, becoming one of five dozen possible outfits, but women still complain that they've got nothing to wear for the occasion at hand.
And it's of course blasphemy when you as a bloke then tell your missus that the choice would be easier if she had fewer clothes to begin with.
|>>|| No. 428671
>(around a woman's ovulation, dresses have been proven scientifically to become shorter and more revealing, for one thing).
This sounds like "deadly Harvestman" territory, but I'll buy it, for now.
|>>|| No. 428693
> I actually felt like she was trying to make me forget how to look after myself to force me into dependency.
You might be not too far off the mark. Some of them do exactly that.
I'm only unsure if it's a conscious decision.
> he'll probably go from one relationship to the next where he'll always have his partner do all of it.
Certainly the way one of my friends had been doing.
I remember him admitting it flat out once when I brought him a spare part for his car and found him sitting in the kitchen hungry. He said he'll wait for the missus to come and cook him something. 'And if we ever part ways, I'll just find myself another one.'
|>>|| No. 428709
>Certainly the way one of my friends had been doing.
I remember hearing a radio interview once where they interviewed one of those women who do phone sex for pay. And she said one time, an older chap called her and asked her if she could help him figure out how to wank himself off. This was before the Internet, or at least before the elderly warmed up to it.
Anyway, apparently the chap said that his wife had died a while ago, and that she was the only person he was ever intimate with since they got married in their teenage years.
The poor lad was so dependent on his late wife that he never even learned to properly wank himself off.
|>>|| No. 428724
If a man wants to wank, a man wanks. There are chaps climbing the Machu Picchu trail who are doing it and there are ten years plus Gitmo detainees indulging as well.
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